I've Decided to Purchase...

...a handgun. Yes, i finally made the decision to do it. For years, i've said that I wouldn't get one because I didn't want to ever have to use it, but things have changed. Two weeks ago, I came home to my apartment complex to find 6 police cars outside my building. They were pretty mum on telling us what exactly went on, but I found out that one of my neighbors had been the victim of a home invasion and sexual assault. I'm not sure of all of the details, but as of now, she is doing ok.

So i'm in the market for a handgun and I just have to do some research to find out what kind I should get.

Any suggestion?

For The First Time In My Life...

...I have had the word "nigger" hurled at me from the mouth of a white person. Here's what happened.

I was leaving a gas station waiting to turn left into traffic. Behind me was a white guy driving a black Chevy Tahoe. I guess he thought that I wasn't moving fast enough for me so he tried to go around me. As soon as he turned to go around me, traffic cleared and I pulled out into traffic. I had no idea that I had done something "wrong".

I get to the next traffic light to turn left to get on the interstate and the light is red. I was the second car in line to turn. I noticed the black Tahoe in the right lane next to me waiting to go straight. Just as the light turned green for both of us to proceed, he let's down his window and screams "NIGGER" and floors it away. Because my music was up, I could barely here him, but my eyes could read his mouth clearly.

To my own surprise, I burst out laughing as I made my left turn and laughed for about 10 minutes. I laughed because people still think that calling Black people that word still stings. It may sting to other people, but not me. That doesn't hurt my feelings at all. If you want to hurt my feelings, tell me that I the clearance rack at Banana Republic is gone!

Now I must admit that once I stopped laughing 10 minutes later, I did get upset. I didn't get upset that there are some people who just don't have a clue. They act as though the world still is and always will be ruled by white people. What gave that bastard the idea that he had the privilege to just go around me when I had the right of way. I'm sure if it had been another white person, he wouldn't have tried it. But my second thought was that I am glad that I don't own a firearm. I'm pretty sure that I would have followed his ass and done something regrettable.

But what strikes me as odd is that when I posted this on Facebook, I got a few comments that people feel like occurences of this type don't happen in their parts of the country. I think that people really need to wake up because racism and prejudice occur all over. Recognize and fight it and the world could be a better place.

I Read This Editorial, But...

...I'm not sure how I feel about it. But here it is. Let me know how you feel about it.

A Non-Pessimistic View On Why the Majority of SGL\Black Gay Men of Color Will Grow Old Alone

An editorial by Cleon T. Day, III

Some of you might think that the first part of the title doesn’t match up with the latter part. How can stating “the majority of SGL/Black Gay Men of Color will grow old alone” be a non pessimistic view. Well for one thing in the closer picture in your life with the exception of a few can you count the number of people you personally know who are in a long-term relationship on two hands. The facts within your own circle is evidence of the majority of SGL/Black Gay Men of Color being alone.

Many of you can give “good reasons” why you are alone. Some of you will say that it’s your choice but I believe it’s not your choice as it is the climate not being right, quality relationship- oriented men being available or accessible. I believe if you move in the same circles you been in for several or many years you will continue to experience men in the same circles you move in, the ones you don't want. Then there are those men who are tired of the games and the past headaches of the last or past relationships and are forced by the lack of available or accessible of SGL/Black Gay Men of Color looking for a long-term relationship so you resign yourself from the whole thing of going out and looking a partner.

At some point SGL/Black Gay Men of Color who have only dated within their race will date outside of their culture to find not perfection but “a good man”. For some odd reason there’s a notion that Caucasian men are good candidates for long-term relationship, a belief that there’s more stability, a partnership where there’s personal and material growth. Also Black Gay Men of Color are looking for respect something they aren’t getting too much of from their own brothas. On the other hand a conscious Same-gender Loving man would never consider dating descendants of former slave owners.

I postulate that there are more single relationship- oriented Same Gender Loving/Black Gay Men of Color available than there are not. However what I do say is although they’re available they’re not as easily accessible to us the majority of us. I believe most of these men are for the most part undetectable or as we say in gay terms "unclockable" . Some of these men are closeted and discreet while other unclockable men don’t define themselves as being out but just low-keyed and have no problems in going out with a brotha on a Friday or Saturday night where other heterosexual couples are going to be. However they don't see themselves standing out as a sore thumb but two male men out to catch a movies as any straight brothas and yet they're not measuring themselves against what "they" so.

So here are the facts as I see them;

1. Many of the men we tend to run into in the circles we continue to run in are not honestly looking for a relationship but if it happens it happens, in the meantime it’s about getting some dick or booty or both.

2. There are perhaps SGL/Gay Men of Color in every profession and income level that you can think of with the exception of President or Vice President of the United States.

3. Most of these SGL/Gay Men of Color are single and are not in the clubs or on the adult male sites looking for a long-term relationship.

4. Many long-term relationship- oriented SGL/Black Gay Men of Color are discreet, low key and go about their daily routine of going to work everyday and living for the weekend.

5. Many of these men will meet men from time to time whether it’s at the gym, at work or by chance in a grocery store. It might start off as a sexual encounter but because they are relationship- oriented it might turn into something more.

I believe if we continue to move in the same circles of meeting guys who aren't who we want or stay to ourselves undetected, relationship- oriented SGL/Black Gay Men of Color will continue to be by themselves and grown old alone.

I was good with his article until he gave his "facts" as he sees them.

1. Many of the people in circles I see do want relationships. They just don't want relationships with each other.

2. What was the point of that? I don't think that people really care that much about income. I know I don't. As long as you can take care of yourself, i'm good.

3. Well, where are they? The reason that people feel comfortable with clubs and chat sites is because they know that the men are same-sex attracted.

4. How does he know this? And what does he mean by discreet and low-key?

5. Again, how does he know this?

What do you all think?

I Have No Faith...

...in people when it comes to spiritual beliefs and I believe that I have explained why in at least one post or another. This was a thread on facebook that a "friend" of mine posted. The comments, although intended to be comical, just made my eyes bug out. Why are people so critical of other people's beliefs?


GK: asks what do you say to an atheist after they sneeze?? Anyone?? lol

Yesterday at 4:48pm · Comment ·

LC: Kazuntite!! Lol Idk
Yesterday at 4:50pm

GK: lmao! thats a good one
Yesterday at 4:51pm

NP: Hope u didn't get any on you
Yesterday at 5:15pm

AJJ : "You're f#cked!" Lol sike just playing...I don't know good question.
Yesterday at 5:17pm

Norris: You don't say anything and respect their beliefs. That's what I do.
Yesterday at 5:30pm · Delete

TU: Jesus loves you! LOL!
Yesterday at 5:31pm


GK: When u die nothin happens???
Yesterday at 5:45pm

CM: Go to hell?? lol They'd probably love that.
Yesterday at 5:58pm

Norris: Wow!! I can't even joke on this one because of the negative judgements about other people's beliefs. And people wonder why I stopped going to church. Why can't people just respect what other people believe?
Yesterday at 6:55pm · Delete

NJ: Welp I think Norris just shut this topic all the way down. NEXT! Lmao
55 minutes ago


I just didn't think that this was funny. If someone had made fun of Christianity, Islam, or Judiasm, I don't think there would have been any LOLs in the comments.

I'm Going To Get...

...myself together for real. I've sat around and just existed for years and years with little progression. I'm nowhere near happy with myself, where I am, how I feel, what I look like, what my career is. I don't think i'm really happy about much these days. But all of that has to change. It has to. I just can't take this anymore.

So Norris has to:

Stop defending old excuses and start developing a new attitude. I had an "AHA" moment today when I almost didn't hang out with a friend. I actually tried to come up with an excuse as to why I shouldn't go. But I went.

Stop being a slave to my own negative aspects. They pop up when I don't want them to. They have got to go!! I have to stop thinking the worst or that nothing good can happen to me.

Learn to like me. Oh, I love myself, but I don't think that I like myself and constantly want to change aspects of myself.

Get off of my ass and get these finances in order. I know that I need a budget, but i've made excuses as to why I shouldn't make one. It's coming, but I think I need to find a financial counselor. I honestly can't do this on my own. I've even thought about filing bankruptcy even though I know I don't have to.

Everything here has something to do with my attitude and I have to find a way to get change that. The problem is that sometimes I don't think that I am doing anything wrong. I don't realize that it's wrong until after. Gotta change that.

I have to change a lot of things. And i'm starting today.

I'm Getting Tired Of...

...going out to clubs, parties, and other events. I've been feeling this way for a while and have been wondering why this change is occuring. I noticed last year that when my friends would want to go out, I started declining and would just stay at home. But when it was just an event that involved only my crew, I was all for it. In the last few weeks, i've figured out why I have become the way I have become.

Back in the early part of this decade, I would go out and people would be out to have fun. They danced and sang and partied until the club closed. That just doesn't happen anymore. It seems that people go out to social places just to be seen. They go to do what I call S&M, or Stand and Model. They stand around with their friends and associates with drinks in hand and try to see who's looking at them.

And don't dare speak!! Oh my!!! You get the "who are you to speak to me" look with a grab of the chest!! Why the hell are you going out if you don't want to interact with the other patrons of the social environment? I just don't get it. I remember once I spoke to a brotha and complimented him on his jeans because they were quite unique. This muthafucka turned his nose up at me and then turned his back to me. At first, I was going to let him HAVE IT!! But what would that do? Absolutely nothing but run up my blood pressure. So I just walked away.

Last week, I attended a BBQ hosted by a guy that I know. We got there pretty early so we were able to see who all was coming in. Me being the person that I am, when I walked in the door, I spoke to those already in attendance. I noticed that as people came in, they didn't speak to others that were already there. Why the hell not? As the crowd grew, people started retreating to their corners with their friends with drinks and food in hand. After a while (and a few drinks), I got kinda tired of what I was seeing. I recruited 2 of my friends to go with me to speak to and introduce ourselves to EVERY person at the BBQ!!! And we did!!!! You should have seen the looks on faces!!! People were utterly shocked that we would do such a thing!! How dare you have the audacity to speak to people and introduces yourselves. Oh no they didn't!!! Oh yes the hell we did!!

I think that's one of the reasons why i've cut waaaayyyy back on my going out. I didn't go to the annual white party this year. I only go out to a club maybe 1 time a month. I don't do parties that often anymore. What I do is hang with my crew a lot more. Instead of trying to meet new people, i'll concentrate on improving the relationships that I have now. I don't need to go out to do that.

Maybe It's Just Me But...

...i'm feeling bothered by something and want to get some opinions on this.

Let's say you met a guy about a month ago. Fuck it!! I met a dude about a month ago and apparently he recorded my phone number incorrectly. I had just written him off by then. Then Sunday I went to play spades and he shows up since he lives in the same building as the host. We reconnect and have some convo and we ended up playing around later *no actual sex* that night (sue me, I was horny).

We've talked multiple times since then and he's telling me that he couldn't get me off of his mind for that month that we lost contact. I can't lie, the brotha left an impression on me that night also. That's the only reason he got my number. We've talked and several times and he's told me all that shit that I like to hear. But i've kept my guard up because we really and truly just met. I ain't trying to get goo goo eyes over a dude I just met. I mean the muthafucka is fine as cat hair, extremely masculine, and seems to be quite intellectual and he's getting his doctorate. But again, I'm not trying to get stupid over anyone.

I go to that same spot to play spades again and he's there. Since everyone there knows everyone there, we've kept the fact that we hooked up to ourselves. So there wasn't much interaction between the 2 of us. But I was playing spades and looked around to get a secret wink at him and didn't see him. When I got up from the table, I called him to tell him that I was about to leave. I figured that he was at home and I was going to ask him if I could stop by since I fly out Friday and he flys out Thursday. He answers and I ask him if he had left. To that he replied "yes" and then "let me call you back". All I could say was OK.

As I was preparing to leave, one of my boys asks me to play another game of spades with him. I sit down at the table and look out on the patio and he's standing on the patio looking me in my face. Of course, the first thing that came to my mind was "I thought he said he had left", but I let it go and continued my game.

Then when that game was over, I was preparing to leave. My card partner asked me to step out on the patio so that he could tell me about his new job opportunity. So I step out there and dude who I kicked it with is out there with some dude hanging off his neck. I didn't say anything, but just looked at him surprised. I told my boy that it was too hot out there and that we should step back inside to talk about his topic.

Now this is where I would like to have your opinions! I know I just met this dude for real on Sunday, but I was bothered. It wasn't curiosity, but truly frustration with brothas and there shit. I find it disrespectful to be hugged up with another dude while you're in the presence of someone YOU say you've want to holla at since you met. That's just not some shit I would do and I consider it foul as hell.

The strange thing about this shit is there were 2 different dudes flirting their asses off with me!! And one of them, I was attracted to like a muthafucka But because dude was there, I brushed it off.

So I have 2 questions.

1. Should I have been bothered by what I saw?

2. Should I have taken the cute dude who was flirting up on his game?

Let me know.


**Continuation***

First let me say that I am going to have to edit my post so that I don't seem so angry. I wasn't upset about the situation, I was just surprised. I knew I would need to get clarification from Doctorate so that I could clear my head.

I called Doctorate and we talked about what actually happened. When I called last night to see if he had left, he says that he told me "yes, i'm out on the patio, let me call you back". All I heard was "yes". But anyway I wasn't too worried about that situation.

On the other situation, he says that the guy that had his arms around his neck is a non-issue. They guy was drunk (to which several people there attested to) and he got a little too touchy feely. Doctorate says that when he wanted to push the guy off of him, but didn't want to cause a scene. Aight, so since I got my explanation and he got his about why I left, we're all good.

Now what I asked him was:

Can you be upfront and honest with me about anything that may happen between us?

Can you be truthful when I have a question about something?

Can you be respectful of me from the beginning?

Are you completely single and looking to date?

I got an answer in the affirmative on all of these questions and so did he when he returned them to me. I'm didn't ask him anything to try to jump into a committment. I asked him because I want to be assured that i'm not dealing with another brotha that is about head games. I just don't have the patience for it anymore. I'd rather ask upfront about a brotha's intentions.

So as of now, he and I are just going to try to enjoy each other and see what happens.

And i've got to learn to not overreact!!

One Of The Definitions of...

...the word CONSISTENT is: constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc. I don't think that a lot of men understand what this word means, so I have decided to blog about it.

How many of us have met a guy and he says all the right things to get you to like him or be attracted to him? We all have haven't we? How many of us have also had that guy to call you, visit, text you or whatever multiple times a day? We all have haven't we? How many of you have seen those call decrease over the few weeks after meeting that guy until they cease? We all have haven't we?

I recently had this happen to me with a guy that I had really started to think could be consistent. I won't even bother giving him a blog name because it's pointless now. We met and had a nice date. We talked a couple times a day. We sent and received text messages dozens of times a day. We spent time together when I wasn't traveling. Then after that first month, I noticed that the "good morning" and "good night" texts and calls were less frequent. Then he couldn't come over or didn't have time for me to visit him.

I never stopped with my calls, text, or desire to visit or go on a date. I never do. If we start out calling each other on our lunch break, i'll continue that every single day. If we start in the morning or before bed, i'll continue that. If we start visiting twice a week, i'll continue doing that. This is called consistently and I belive it in. I also believe that if this consistency is interrupted, then something could me amiss. And I will address it.

So me being me, I called him and asked him if he was actually single and available to date and if so, if he wanted to date and continue to get to know me. His reply was "I am single, but at this point in my life, I have too much going on to date someone. I would like to continue to get to know you, but i just don't have time to date." I wasn't shocked, upset or anything else because I knew that something wasn't right. My reply to him was "I don't want to just get to know someone, I want to seriousy date and form a relationship. Because you don't have time to date, I believe that it's best for us to cease contact". He attempted to convince me to change my mind, but I was done and I told him goodbye. I don't understand how you can get to know someone without actually dating. Truth be told, I didn't know there was a difference.

When people break from what they normally do, something makes them it. If a person deviates from a habit or regular function for no apparent reason, I begin to wonder why. Something caused them to change course and I will ask why. No doubt about it, I will ask.

What I don't understand is why when dating, people can't be consistent. And if they can't be consistent, why they can't communicate what they truly feel to you so you can make an informed decision on what you want to do with them? I truly don't understand it. I can do it, so why can't they?

I have attemtped to date so many of these inconsistent and non-communicative brothas that I have become fed up. But unlike others, I won't become bitter and become one of them. I'll continue to be same ole consistent Norris and hope for the best.

That's all I have to say.

This Was Quite Interesting...

...but i'm not shocked that there was only 1 brotha with a truly enlightened opinion.

It Takes Just One...

...person to redeem the indiscretions of others. Here's why I say that.

A few weeks ago, I headed to my physician's office for my annual checkup. As I walked into the building, a white woman who was maybe in her 50s saw me heading toward the elevator and tried to hit the "close door" button (she still had her finger on it when I got in). When I finally got into the elevator, she huddle herself in the corner like a frightened woodlands creature. I just looked at her, rolled my eyes and shook my head.

When the elevator stopped, I let her get off first as any Southern gentleman should do. When she stepped out of the elevator, she glanced over her shoulder as if to which way I was headed. I just stood behind her to give her time to get the hell out of my way. She turned left and so did I since that was where my doctor's office is. The entire length of the hallway, she kept glancing over her shoulder behind her and I just kept my distance. I also noticed that there were security cameras around. If this woman claimed that I had done something to her, I would have proof that I didn't. Then finally, out of no where she stopped, backed up against the wall and stayed there until I passed. I just walked on by shaking my head.

When I rounded the corner, she was still standing there against the wall. I stopped just to take a look back around that same corner and she had continued her walk toward my present direction. I continued on to my destination wondering why she was scared of me and wondering how I could have been so intimidating to her. Was she scared of men? I think not, since she was talking to the white man that got off before I got on. Was she scared of Black men? Probably so. But even though I was a little upset, I brushed it off as just another dumb ass white woman.

And this is how I know that God works magic when it needs to be worked.

After my visit, I headed back down the aforementioned hallway back to the elevator and saw that the door was closing. Suddenly the elevator door reopened and there was another white woman in probably in her 70s who was holding the "door open" button. On the short way down to the 1st floor, she asked me how my day was and I replied and and asked her the same. This short little interaction put a smile on my face and let me know that all white women aren't scared of us.

Each time something like this happens, it saddens me a little bit more that this still goes on. It happened again today except this time it was some gay white man grabbing his man purse when I walked toward his direction in Starbucks. It makes me wonder if I look that menacing and intimidating.

Do I need to soften my look and be sure to smile. But then I thought, why in the hell would I change myself to make others feel comfortable? I'm not the one with the problem, they are. And it's up to them to change themselves and their thinking.

After 5 Years of...

...having online "dating" accounts, I decided that it was time to get rid of them. "Why did you do that?", some may ask. I did it because it's a part of my plan to get rid of things that aren't doing me any real good.


When I sat back and thought about it, I realized that I spent countless hours on A4A and M4N when I could have been using that time to do something more constructive. I could have spent those hours volunteering. I could have spent those hours in the gym. I could have spent those hours with my family and friends. I could have spent those hours getting better at my job. I could have been doing something that was beneficial to my life.


But in all honesty, I thought that I was doing just that. I thought that I would meet the man that I would build and maintain a relationship with. Alas, I didn't. What I did get was a plenty of one-night stands that could and should have been no-night stands. I also got a bunch of heartache from a few of the guys that I attempted to date. Now I can't say that everything was bad. I did meet a few guys that actually knew what a date was, but nothing ever came after that. And I met 1 person who I can now consider a dear friend.


I guess it seemed like meeting a guy online was easier to do. I didn't have to leave the house. I didn't have to spend any money. I didn't have to do anything but login, select a dude, and say hello. It made dating so easy. Or so I thought. The problem was that I would start chatting with 1 dude and get get intrigued, only to start chatting with another dude and get the same feeling. It made it seem like there was always something better one click away. Then on other times, I would see a dude out and about that I was attracted to. I wouldn't say anything to him there, but if I saw him online, I would strike up a conversation. Being shy and scared is so unbecoming that I always felt ashamed when I did that.


But on Monday, I decided that it was not working for me. I would spend hours chatting with dudes never to meet them. I chose not to meet most of them because I could see that they weren't what I wanted. And after you realize that most guys are internet liars you start to get tired of it. They are one thing online, but something totally different in person. I've met quite a few dudes who aged 5 years, or gained 50 pounds, or their dicks shrunk from the time between us chatting to us meeting. Or worse yet, the guys who have no picture but want to meet you. Why guys have to lie or deceive I never will understand. But I don't have to worry about that anymore.


The online profiles are gone and so are the problems and issues that go along with them. So long!!

This Has To Be...

...The saddest story I have ever read.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nation/6232703.html

Sometimes I Sit and Wonder...

...about what my dreams and goals are. I think about those fantasical dreams that most people have such as winning the lottery, or living in some exotic local, or falling in love with someone who's in love with you.

But honestly, I don't know what I truly dream about having in my life. I don't know what I want. I can't figure it out. I know i'd like to have a loving, supportive partner. I know i'd like to have a career as an attorney. I know i'd like to have a lil wealth. But are those dreams? I don't think that they are. I believe that dreams are those things that you think you can't achieve, but you strive to make them come true.

So I think that's what my 2009 will be about. It's time to figure out how to make my dreams become reality.

I've Had My Share...

...of sex over the years. And now I want to just ramble on about it. It's just been on my mind lately that I have had a lot of sex over the years and now I feel kinda slutty about it. Luckily i'm still untainted and healthy.

I think that I had the most sexual partners during the years of 2005 and 2006. I was a true sexual being. During those 2 years, I think that I had about 20 different sexual partners. To some that may seem like a lot and to others that may seem like not too many. During those 2 years, I was completely single and free to do what I wanted. I just felt like I could do what I whatever, whenever, and whoever I wanted. Although I always used condoms, I was scared each time I took an HIV test or and STD screening. Well, I have slowed down in my old age. I still have sex every now and then, but not as frequently or with as many people.

Now this year, I have added to the number of sexual partners, but not in the number that I did in previous years. I guess it's because I actually want to date someone. I want to wait to have sex until I actually know someone before I have sex. I don't want my first memory of being with someone to be of us moving furniture and putting holes in the wall. I would so much rather have a first memory of a real date. But brothas don't seem to know what a date is anymore.

I still have had a few hookups recently, but I have a rule in place. If I meet a dude and all he wants is sex, then that's all he gets. After we hookup, I don't want to see him again. There will be no dating after a sexual hookup. NONE! Then there are the brothas that like to tell you what they think you want to hear so that they can get in your pants. They tell you that they want to to date or even get serious one day. But their intention is to have sex as soon as they can. I can smell these brothas a mile away. Sometimes, like Monday night, I go ahead and have sex with them. Most times, I just tell them that they aren't getting any and get as far away from them as possible. But I've made a decision that i'm going to have to stick with.

I've decided to abstain from sex. I've said this to myself several times and haven't stuck to it. But there have been 2 times in my life where I did abstain for 6 months or more. It wasn't fun, but I was assured that I wasn't going to catch an STD or HIV. This time i'm older, wiser, and a lot more patient. I can do it this time.

The reason that I'm abstaining is that I:

1. Don't want to catch an STD or HIV. No explanation needed.

2. I want to actually feel something for the next person I have sex with other than lust.

3. Casual sex has just gotten boring. I used to hookup because I liked sex and having sex made me feel wanted. But that shit has gotten old.

4. Did I say that I wanted to remain HIV and STD free.

So, i'm going to just hold out on sex until i'm seriously dating someone. There will be no more first night sex. No more sleepovers soon after or the day we meet. No more sex or any kind, oral, anal or foreplay after January 1, 2009. NONE!!!

I'm going to break out the ring that Jaila gave me last year and wear it on my hand instead of on my necklace. When I get tempted i'll show it to the tempter and let him know of my plan. The quickest way to run a brotha off is to let him know that your abstaining from sex until a you have a committment.

Let's see what happens!!!!

Repost: 8/20/07 Dick

Dick. Say it to yourself and think about it.

Look at the picture and then say it again.

Sommore said it best when she said "dick is a beautiful thang".

Think about some of the dicks that you have seen.

Think about some of the dicks that you have touched.

Think about some of the dicks that you have tasted.

Think about the dicks that you never saw, but fantasized about having.

Picture a dick, any dick right now. What does it look like?

Why does it make your body feel so good when it's in you?

Why do you alter plans because you want to have it?

What about it makes you stay with someone who isn't right for you?

What about it makes you act differently when you are with the man that it belongs to?

What is it about dick that makes you want to put it inside your body?

What is it about it that makes your body tingle when you are about to get some of one?

Why are even men who claim to not want a dick in them turned on at the thought of one.

What the hell is it about dick that mesmerizes us?

I'm No Longer...

...confused about that call I got from my boss. Let me start off by saying that I love my job. I really do. What else job can you have where you travel all over the world (I'm in Costa Rica now) and then get home and get days or even weeks off?

But a few weeks ago, I posted this post about a phone call from my boss that confused the hell out of me. I recently found out that there has been restructuring at the company that has led to a hiring freeze, so I can't get the promotion that I so desperately want and need. But the problem is that the positions I and 3 other people want, HAVE to be filled. So guess what, we have been asked to fill the positions without the pay or the title. And I feel like I am being cheated because I CAN'T say no.

Here's the info. In the past, we had 4 senior implementations specialist positions. These are the people that we call when we have issues while we are on site. Well, 2 of those positions were vacated because the people switched positions to something else. Well that left 2 positions open. But our boss is saying that we need to have 6 total people in this position. We need 6 positions because of the amount of international travel that we have been doing. Pretty much, when one of the seniors is out of the country, support falls to the other. Now it has gotten to the point that the 2 we have left are out of the country at the same time. So, 2 other people have been asked to fill those 2 positions that have been vacated, but without extra pay and title. But guess what? With upcoming international sites, those 2 will be out of the country also. So I, along with another person was asked to do the same thing. I hope you got all of that.

I don't mind having the extra responsibility because I have been dying to have something new to do. But I just feel like the corporation forced our boss to do this to us. They pretty much tied her hands and told her to get her job done. She can't hire anyone or give promotions, but shit still has to get done. So the 4 of us have (to be truthful) volunteered to do jobs that we aren't being paid to do. I believe that we all understand that we have to do what it takes to keep things afloat, but we are all hoping that we get our just rewards as soon as possible.

Now, don't take this to mean that I am not grateful to have a job. Hell i'm more blessed to HAVE 2 jobs when I only NEED one. It's just that it feels strange to work so hard to be rewarded with a better position and then have to get that position without the rewards.

Let's hope this doesn't last too long. Why can't I hit the lottery for about $250,000. That's all I need.

This Should Be Shown To Every Parent on Earth

I've been reading Xem's Blog and watching his videos for about 3 months now and each entry has touched this one. But this video here is one that all parents should have to watch. The things that he says and the emotion are just to real and close to home.

Bits and Pieces

Earlier today I was reading YABG's blog entitled One Big Circle. In it he said "once you give someone a piece of your heart, you never get it back" and it really brought some emotions flooding back into my head. It got me to thinking about some of the men that I have dated and especially about the one's who still have a piece of my heart. Those men are in chronological order, Dreads, Chicago, VP, and Hollywood.

As I was driving home from work today, I started to wonder why each one of these men still captures my heart (and/or mind). It didn't take long for me to figure it out. There was something about each of them that I got from them that I still desire.

Dreads: What was it that Dreads gave me that I still desire in a partner? I figured out that this man was there for ME unconditionally. He did everything for me that I wanted and needed. I never had to worry about anything. When I got transferred to Birmingham, he moved with me. When we first started dating and I didn't have money, he gave me money. Even though he was 100% top when we met, he gave up some booty every once in a blue moon. His focus was all about keeping me happy and satisfied. I still want a man that puts me first. Even though it's been almost 7 years since we dissolved our relationship, he still holds and most likely will always own a piece of my heart.

Chicago-What was it that Chicago gave me that I still desire in a partner? I figured out that he was a truly kind, understanding, thoughful, and genuine person who cared about me. I could see it in his eyes each time I looked at him and he SHOWED it everytime we saw each other. We dated long distance for a year and I loved it. I'll never forget our first date when he took me to Giordano's Pizza, a movie, and around the city of Chicago. Each time I visited him (except that 1 time), he had planned something for us to do each time. I never doubted that he cared about me and I really felt like he was making sure that I knew that he cared about me. And I always felt comfortable with him. I still want a man that makes me feel comfortable and cared about. Even though we stopped dating 5 years ago, he still holds a piece of my heart.

VP-What was it that VP gave me that I still desire in a partner? Physically, he was everything that I wanted in a man. He was tall, attractive, sexy, thick-bodied, and did I say sexy? I loved looking at him, touching him, sexing him, holding him and just being around him. I had an affinity for VP that I couldn't and still can't explain. And I still do. In addition, he made me feel like I was the sexiest man on earth. The way that he looked at me. The way that he held me. The way that he sexed me. The compliments that he gave me. How he jumped in the shower with me and showered took the soap and towel and finished bathing me. The things that he did, just made me feel sexy and desired. I want a man to make me feel like that again. I'm not sure if it's my heart or my head that he still has a piece of, but he still has a piece of me in some form.

Hollywood-What was it that Hollywood gave me that I still desire in a partner? Hollywood had that confident, independent, "i'm a man and i'm your man" type of vibe going on. I loved his confidence. I loved his aggression and assertive attitude. He was the type of guy that could make a decision for both of us and I could agree with it. He could plan something and all I had to do was show up. He didn't ask me to do things that he could do himself. I didn't have to prod him to do anything. I didn't have pay for every date or drive to every date. He let me put my mind to rest while I was with him. And I still want a man with an independent spirit (like I have). Even though it's been over a year that we broke up, Hollywood still has a piece of my heart.

Even though each relationship or situation ended years ago, I'm still learning from them. In addition, if either one of these men asked me to get back to them, I can't say that I would say "no" to them. Each one still has that something about them that I want. The only issue is that i'm hoping to meet someone that has most of the qualities that I want.

So some of you may ask, " when do you move on" and I'll answer with this. You move on when the quality that the person has/had loses importance to you or you meet someone else who has it. I have yet to move on, but i'll be glad when I can.

So While On A Date Last Night...

...to see Noah's Arc for the second time, my phone rang. It was my boss calling and I couldn't take the call because 1) I was on a date and that's a big no no, and 2) I was in a theater. Needless to say, she got voicemail. And she left a message!!!!

Now I don't have a traditional 9-5 job where I go into the office each day, sit at a desk on a computer and the telephone, and see my boss each day. I travel quite a lot and I have not seen my boss in almost 2 years. Hell, I have co-workers that I have never met.

But back to the story. When my boss calls any of us on the team, we NEVER know what to expect. And most times, it's a call to fuss about something that we did or didn't do on a site. Well I waited until my date was over and I was safely in the warmth and solitude of my car to check the voicemail message. In it, she said "Hey Norris, this is BOSSLADY. Hey, I was just calling to talk to you about some departmental issues. Give me a call back when you get a chance tonight or tomorrow morning." Since it was late, I sent her an email telling her that I was in the movies that I would call her Tuesday afternoon when I got to my site.

I racked my brain trying to remember if anything had gone awry on a site or if I may have missed something. I couldn't think of anything at all because I am always sure to cross my T's, dot my I's and cover my ass!!! Needless to say, even with an early morning flight the next morning, I was up late.

So when I got to Texas today and got settled in, I called her. I wasn't nervous and by then, I had stopped wondering what she wanted to discuss. I was told that there may be a position opening up to work with the hotel corporation. What that means is that I would work directly for hotel corporation instead of the contract company. This also means a $10000-15000 raise in pay. But it also means a lot more responsibility for me also. Both of which I am willing to take. But on the other hand, she told me that the company had been put into a hiring freeze. She also told me that she was not promising me the position IF it becomes open, but just letting me know that I was next in line for it.

After the call, I was even more confused than I was before it. I had actually been thinking of finding another job that pays more and doesn't involve travel. Since each time, I applied for a promotion someone more qualified and with more seniority beat me out, I was ready to leave. But now i'm wondering if that call was just a ploy to persuade me to stay. I think that it is. If it was, it wasn't needed because I had already decided to stay. I am not going to change jobs with the US and world economy in the shape that it is.

But i'm still confused and a little baffled. I dont know what to think.

When You Turn 30...

...your life will change. Your whole perspective on life will change and you will start to live differently.

How many of us have heard something like this before? I can say that I have heard it countless times in my life by a range of people. I heard it from family, friends, colleagues, and strangers. Each time I heard it, I would think "well, i'll see when I turn 30".

Well guess what? They were right. Since I have turned 30, the way that I look at life has changed for the better and I have come to realize some things:

1. I don't have to do anything for someone that I don't want to do. If I don't feel like helping out a friend, then I don't have to. If I don't feel like going to work, then I don't have to. If I don't want to talk to the person that I am dating today, I don't have to. I don't HAVE to do ANYTHING I don't want to.

2. Life does not have to be stressful. It really doesn't. I are stressed because I allow myself to be stressed. So what if I don't have the money to pay the power bill. Is stressing out about it going to get it paid? Hell no it isn't. I'll pay it when I can, but I won't worry about it. So what if the dude you met the other night hasn't called you since you gave him some ass. Is worrying about it going to make him call? Hell no it isn't. Let that shit go and move on. Sometimes you just have to say "Fuck It" and let shit flow on down the "Small Shit River"

3. I should have money for needs and wants. Having money to do the things you need/want to do makes life easier. One thing that I've realized since 30 is that I HAVE to take care of my needs before my wants. If I need to get an oil change, i'll do that before I head to the liquor store. If I get low on funds, at least I got what I needed first. It's not necessary to have an abundance of money, but one should never run out. For the first time in my life, i'm not in a situation where there is more month at the end of the money.

4. I don't have to have a man in my life. It totally unnecessary for my well being. I swear that I used to spend part of my day thinking about why I was single. Wondering why I wasn't in a relationship or dating someone seriously. Then I realized how much time I was wasting thinking about having/not having a man. When it's time for a man, he'll be there. But if i'm single, then that's where i'm supposed to be.

5. I am where I am supposed to be. I used to think that by the time I am XYZ age, I should be doing this or doing that. People have said shit to me like "you should have bought a house by so and so age" or "you should be saving for retirement by the time you are this or that age" "you should go back to school before you turn ABC". Well I've come to realize that life is not scripted and it will come to you as it comes to you. There is no timer on when things happen in your life.

All in all, these 5 things are helping to make me a happier person and now I'm waiting for 40. I'm gonna take my lessons learned and try to make my life easier. I also want to take these next few years to get my life the way that I want it. I've waiting long enough and wasted enough time.

Before I turned 30, I was also told that 30 is when you start to get serious about life. Now that right there, I know they weren't BSing about!