I'm No Longer...

...confused about that call I got from my boss. Let me start off by saying that I love my job. I really do. What else job can you have where you travel all over the world (I'm in Costa Rica now) and then get home and get days or even weeks off?

But a few weeks ago, I posted this post about a phone call from my boss that confused the hell out of me. I recently found out that there has been restructuring at the company that has led to a hiring freeze, so I can't get the promotion that I so desperately want and need. But the problem is that the positions I and 3 other people want, HAVE to be filled. So guess what, we have been asked to fill the positions without the pay or the title. And I feel like I am being cheated because I CAN'T say no.

Here's the info. In the past, we had 4 senior implementations specialist positions. These are the people that we call when we have issues while we are on site. Well, 2 of those positions were vacated because the people switched positions to something else. Well that left 2 positions open. But our boss is saying that we need to have 6 total people in this position. We need 6 positions because of the amount of international travel that we have been doing. Pretty much, when one of the seniors is out of the country, support falls to the other. Now it has gotten to the point that the 2 we have left are out of the country at the same time. So, 2 other people have been asked to fill those 2 positions that have been vacated, but without extra pay and title. But guess what? With upcoming international sites, those 2 will be out of the country also. So I, along with another person was asked to do the same thing. I hope you got all of that.

I don't mind having the extra responsibility because I have been dying to have something new to do. But I just feel like the corporation forced our boss to do this to us. They pretty much tied her hands and told her to get her job done. She can't hire anyone or give promotions, but shit still has to get done. So the 4 of us have (to be truthful) volunteered to do jobs that we aren't being paid to do. I believe that we all understand that we have to do what it takes to keep things afloat, but we are all hoping that we get our just rewards as soon as possible.

Now, don't take this to mean that I am not grateful to have a job. Hell i'm more blessed to HAVE 2 jobs when I only NEED one. It's just that it feels strange to work so hard to be rewarded with a better position and then have to get that position without the rewards.

Let's hope this doesn't last too long. Why can't I hit the lottery for about $250,000. That's all I need.

So While On A Date Last Night...

...to see Noah's Arc for the second time, my phone rang. It was my boss calling and I couldn't take the call because 1) I was on a date and that's a big no no, and 2) I was in a theater. Needless to say, she got voicemail. And she left a message!!!!

Now I don't have a traditional 9-5 job where I go into the office each day, sit at a desk on a computer and the telephone, and see my boss each day. I travel quite a lot and I have not seen my boss in almost 2 years. Hell, I have co-workers that I have never met.

But back to the story. When my boss calls any of us on the team, we NEVER know what to expect. And most times, it's a call to fuss about something that we did or didn't do on a site. Well I waited until my date was over and I was safely in the warmth and solitude of my car to check the voicemail message. In it, she said "Hey Norris, this is BOSSLADY. Hey, I was just calling to talk to you about some departmental issues. Give me a call back when you get a chance tonight or tomorrow morning." Since it was late, I sent her an email telling her that I was in the movies that I would call her Tuesday afternoon when I got to my site.

I racked my brain trying to remember if anything had gone awry on a site or if I may have missed something. I couldn't think of anything at all because I am always sure to cross my T's, dot my I's and cover my ass!!! Needless to say, even with an early morning flight the next morning, I was up late.

So when I got to Texas today and got settled in, I called her. I wasn't nervous and by then, I had stopped wondering what she wanted to discuss. I was told that there may be a position opening up to work with the hotel corporation. What that means is that I would work directly for hotel corporation instead of the contract company. This also means a $10000-15000 raise in pay. But it also means a lot more responsibility for me also. Both of which I am willing to take. But on the other hand, she told me that the company had been put into a hiring freeze. She also told me that she was not promising me the position IF it becomes open, but just letting me know that I was next in line for it.

After the call, I was even more confused than I was before it. I had actually been thinking of finding another job that pays more and doesn't involve travel. Since each time, I applied for a promotion someone more qualified and with more seniority beat me out, I was ready to leave. But now i'm wondering if that call was just a ploy to persuade me to stay. I think that it is. If it was, it wasn't needed because I had already decided to stay. I am not going to change jobs with the US and world economy in the shape that it is.

But i'm still confused and a little baffled. I dont know what to think.

Executive Decision

So I have been thinking the last month about what I want to do with my career and have come to a decision.

Since I was in high school, I wanted to be an attorney; a prosecutor to be exact. When my senior year of college came, I was ready to apply and was all excited to be going. But then something started to happen in my life that distracted me from my dream. For some reason, I fell into a deep depression. I was so depressed that I couldn't sleep or I slept too much. I started having panic attacks anytime and anywhere. Depression was affecting everything in my life from my relationship and family to work and school. After about 2 months of feeling like life was over, I started going to see a counselor (who was actually a psychiatry intern). It took me about 3 months of visits each Tuesday to get back to normal. Needlesss to say, while I was thinking life was over, the last thing on my mind was continuing my education. I didn't complete the law school application process and subsequently didn't get in.

Each year, I said that I was going to apply and go back, but then I started working full-time in a hotel operations career. As my pay increased, so did my debt. Of course since I was out of school, I had to pay back student loans, I had car note, rent and credit card bills. So I decided that I was going to lower my debt to zero before I went back to school. That was years ago and i'm still not in law school, but i'm still in debt.

But on Monday, I made the decision that debt-be-damned, i'm applying to law school for admission in the fall of 2009. Applying to law school is a process that i've been afraid of because it's not an easy one. But i'm starting the process on Friday when I get home from this trip.

I'm not worried about getting into law school. What i'm worried about is paying for it. Tuition is no where near inexpensive, so it looks like more loans for me. I will be applying for grants, scholarships and other moneys, but loans will probably be my largest means of paying tuition.

So wish me luck on my process!!

Oh yeah. I did say 2 decisions didn't I? Well that other decision was to just stick with this job I have until I know whether or not I am accepted to law school. I don't know if I will make it though until next August though.

Just Wait

In a few days I will be making 2 decisions that will affect my long term goals.

Stay Tuned!!!!!!!!!!!

Not To Be Ungrateful, But...

Today I had my annual review. The purpose of the review would be to determine how much of a pay increase I would get. All I can say is that I am sorely disappointed in the review process and the amount of my raise.

I was provided no documentation on what criteria were being reviewed.

There was no introduction of who all was on the call.

I had no idea of what the average amount of the merit raise was.

So we continued the call and I was showered with accolades for "stepping up" my game and taking on new projects, such as 500 room hotel conversions and kiosk installations. I was also told of what projects that I would be expected to learn and implement.

Then they hit me with the "well your only bad point is that you didn't finish your online training in a timely fashion". I accepted responsibility for it and explained why I took so long *that was a lot of shit to do*

Then it got down to the money. I was given a raise that doesn't even come close to the national average. Now a raise of any kind is always good. But what pissed me off was that they called it a MERIT raise. I was given the same amount as everyone else! The reason that I am pissed and disappointed is that I have worked my ass of for the last 2 years on this job. I have asked for extra projects, have been given them, and completed them with flying colors. I have always turned my reports in on time. I have done everthing right and excelled above what I was supposed to do. And I was awared with the same thing that everyone else got! I think that's bullshit! Why have I been busting my ass? Why? I could have just done enough to get by like other people.

Now normally I would have said something while on the call, but I couldn't. I couldn't for a very important reason. I have just applied for a new position within our project. Now, the position requires that the person taking it live in Memphis, TN so that they can work in the office. But, because no one is willing to move to that city, they are considering letting the position be remote. That means that the person could work from home. There would also be about a 33% raise over what I am making now. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to jeopardize my chances at getting that position.

At this point, I have made a decision that if I am not promoted to the new position, I will start to seek other employment. I fully understand that "the economy" is faltering and all, but my work load has increased significantly. Now if everyone had been given the same work load and we all performed at the same level, I wouldn't have a problem. But like I said, I have WORKED MY ASS OFF while others haven't.

Now I don't want anyone worried that I am going to up and quit my job. I am not foolish enought to do that. Now if I win this $34 million lottery, then it's another story. But what I will do is start looking to see what is out there that pays me what the industry average is. I'll do a my research to see the sustainability of the companies that are doing the hiring and then pinpoint what I want to do. I'm not stupid when it comes to my livelihood. And I also think that it's high time that I get serious about graduate school.

I can imagine that most people in this position would be pissed the fuck off right now. And I am!!!


Text in red were not part of the original post and were added after the first 2 comments.

Life Updates

1. I got a new phone on yesterday when the UPS driver delivered my T-Mobile Dash!!! I have finally joined the ranks of smartphone users. When I saw Fuzzy's at the blogger weekend, I fell in love with it. It's only been one day, but so far I am thoroughly impressed with it's functionality.

2. I got an offer for a new job on yesterday. It's for a tech support representative with a company here in Atlanta. It would involve no travel, which is great. Although it was uplifting to know that I can still impress people in an interview, after seeing the offer letter, I will have to decline this one. They can't even match what I am making now and the vacation time was 3 weeks less than what I have now. BUMP DAT!!!!

3. CC and I are at kind of a standstill because of one issue. He's all top, but i'm not all bottom. This kind of relegates him to "potential boyfriend" status as "potential partner" is now out of the question. Within the next few weeks, I expect this situation to come to and end. I don't want him to become something that he's not, and I will not become something that I am not. Why is this such a problem with gay men????????

4. My work trip to Venezuela was just that, WORK. I didn't get a chance to do anything while I was there. One of those reasons is that everything was soooo damn expensive. An example would be food. We went to Hard Rock Cafe and for 9 people, the bill was $780. And that's just food and soft drinks. An adult beverage was $13 by itself!!!!

5. I'm going to be an uncle again *I think that this makes number 31* and I am a little excited. This is my this particular brother's first child and there is a high possibility that I will be the child's god-father!!

That's all for now as not much is going on in my life!! Feel free to comment.

Ain't This A Bitch

I finally get an interview (the first one of 3) for a job that I am interested in and now my present job decides that it's time to give me a raise and make it retroactive to April 21, 2007. The only thing is that I haven't gotten the damn raise yet and there is no word when it will actually come. If this raise is anything less than 6%, and I am offered the other position then it's adios to this damn job.

Fuck them hoes!

I was just thinking about something. This prospective job involves travel on Monday-Thursday. That means that if I get it, I will be off on the weekends. So, I promise myself that if I get it, I will apply to the GSU MBA weekend program! I Promise!

This Sucks!!!!!!

I'm in Nassau, the capital city of the Bahamas working and it has rained every single day except the first day that I got here. And I worked until 10 pm that night! This sucks, but I have 3 more days to get out and have some fun in the sun.

My MInd is Everywhere

I haven't posted in a while because my mind is all over the place with worry about my dating situation, finances, jobs, friend and family and just life in general. But I promise that when I feel better, I will let you all in on what's on my mind.

Work Work Work

I want a new job. Plain and simple. I am what's called an implementations specialist. Implementations specialists install software and hardware systems for different companies. They also provide the necessary training on the systems for employees. I love what I do, but after 5 years, it's starting to wear thin.

I travel all over the country and this has afforded me the opportunity to see 38 of the 50 states included Alaska and Hawaii and I have been to Canada 4 times. The problem with all of this travel is that I miss out on a lot of things at home. Concerts, friends, parties, picnics, shows and everything else that happens. I am grateful to have traveled the country, but I just think that I miss out on too much.

Another problem with my job is that the company that I work for is resistent to raises and promotions. There are people in my position that have been doing the same thing for 10 years and have not been promoted. They have been given raises, but no promotions. A higher position comes along only every few years and someone outside of the company is usually hired. I was eligible for a pay increase in April of this year. Did I get it? No. When I asked about and presented my reasons why I thought that I was due a pay increase, I was told that raises had just been given out a few months earlier. What the hell that had to do with me I don't know since pay increases are granted upon your anniversary date?

Yet another problem is the number of hours that I work. The most that I have worked so far is 27 hours straight. And that was just a few weeks ago. Most days I work at least 10 hours. And on the day that we convert the systems, the average is 17 years. This week I have works 11 hours each day for the last 6 days and have had a headache for 4 of those six.

The reason that I have stayed as long as I have is because there are positives to the job. The travel is one of them, but the best part of the job is also the worst. My schedule. There are times when I have been off for 3 weeks at a time. Is there any other job that gives you 3 weeks off and you still get paid? If there is, tell me about it. But on the flip side, there are times when I have to work 3 weeks straight. Like right now, I am on day 17 of work. I left one project and went straight to another. I was scheduled to go to another project, but it moved dates. At that point, I had a week off, but today I was put on another project starting Monday. That leaves me with Sunday as my only official day off ( I get home Saturday afternoon from this site).

So I think that it's time that I explore my options when it comes to employment. I don't know if I truly want to leave, but the pay, schedule, and advancement opportunities aren't all that great. There have to be better options.

I'm Bored

I have been feeling as though I have the most boring life in the world. And then I realized that there are 2 types of people. Those whose lives we perceive as exciting, and those we see as boring. I am in the latter group. I swear that it seems as though there is nothing going on with my life. And I have found the source of that boredom. It's my damn job.

When I tell people that I travel for my job, THEY get all happy and shit and say shit like "that must be exciting". Well I am here to tell you that it ain't. People tend to overlook the fact that I travel for my JOB. If you didn't get that hint, it means that I am working when I am away from home. For example, this week I am in Toronto, Ontario, Canada converting a hotel's reservation systems. Now I have heard that Toronto is an exciting city and all, but I wouldn't know. Since I have been here, I only left once to go to Wal-Mart. After working 13 hours yesterday and 11 today, the only thing that I want to do when I get off is rest.

Now I am not going to lie about my job. I have been to 40 of the 50 states including Alaska and Hawaii. In the next few months, we are to start traveling to Latin America and the Caribbean. While it is nice to say that I have been to these places, I don't have stories to tell or pictures to show what I did. My story is always "I went to work".

Now I am greatly to have a job because there was a period in 2004 when I was unemployed by no choice of my own. But lately, I have been thinking of trying to find another job that is permanently at home or with less travel. I don't know what I want to do.