Saturday, September 30, 2006

I'm In Hawaii

Hey bloggers. I finally made it to Honolulu, Hawaii after months of begging and pleading with my boss to assign me a site here. I got here yesterday after a 9.5 hour flight and a brotha was tired as hell.

In spite of the fact that we have a lot of work to do, I hope to get out and see some sites and work on my tan on the beach. Here are a few pictures from the balcony of my hotel room.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Two Of My Favorites

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Choose a Side of the Fence!

Back in grade school around 8-10 years old, I got teased a lot by other boys because I wasn't as "hard" as they appeared to be. They called me the usual names that people call men who are not as masculine as they "need" to be. But as with most cases like these, these were the same boys that wanted to "play" when no one else was around. The ones that would try to get you into a broom closet, or show up at your house when they knew that your parents weren't home, or take you in the shed.

But unlike other little gay boys, I wasn't having that shit. How you gone call me out my name all day at school, and then wanna hunch on my booty and kiss when no one else was around? The hell you will! There was only one time that I played around with another little boy and that's because he never teased or talked about me (and I thought that he was cute). All the other little boys' advances were rebuffed. No questions asked and no booty given!

Now I have mentioned my straight friend Leo a few times in my blog. He is what Bernard Bradshaw over at Sex and the 2nd City would call a "straight boyfriend." Or what Frank Leon Roberts would call a "straight male fag hag." He says that he is straight and I believe that he is. He has several gay friends. Has no problem listening to me talk about men. Doesn't get uncomfortable when we are watching sports and I scream "damn he fine!" Doesn't think that I am less of a man because I am homosexual.

He use to be married and I was cool with both him and his wife. I have had dinner with them. Gotten drunk with them. Played cards with them. But I kinda stopped hanging with them as a couple because she started getting jealous. She accused him of being bisexual a couple of times. She got especially angry when he asked me to take him to the hospital when he was having surgery instead of her because she would have to take off work. Eventually they got divorced because she cheated on him (what the hell was she thinking).

Before they got divorced, I heard from him probably once or twice a month. But since then and especially since he has bought a house he calls me multiple times a day. So a few weeks ago, he invited me over to see his new house and to watch preseason football. Of course I took liquor to drink while he smoked his weed. He showed me around the house and we went to the basement to watch the game. We were watching the game and he started smoking while I was drinking and he got up started flexing his muscles in front of me. I sat there wondering what the hell he was doing and wanting him to get the hell out of the way of the television (put I did sneak a peak). He then offered me some weed. Having never smoked any, I decided to try it to see what would happen. It didn't do anything for me except make me laugh a lot. I won't be doing it again. But I got so drunk that I couldn't drive home. He actually got me a blanket and tucked me in on the sofa. This is normal for us. I get drunk and he gets high.

But lately, his comments have been making me raise an eyebrow.

1. After not seeing him for about 2 months, his first words to me were "damn you look good!" I just said thanks.

2. We were on the phone one day and he told me to call him "Big Daddy." I just said ok as I
looked around the room in confusion.

3. He told me that he will love me forever.

4. When he asked me what I was doing one night, I and I told him that I was gonna get in the bed, he told me that he was gonna come get in it with me.

5. He told me that next time I came over to his house, he was gonna get me drunk and high and
tie me up.

I discussed this with 2 friends of mine and they both said the same thing. "Norris, he wants to fuck you and you should let him." I was actually thinking that they would say something like that. Now I am not gonna say that I haven't thought about what it would be like to have sex with Leo because I have. The man is pretty sexy. He's 6'7" and about 215 of muscle with a chocolate complexion and a head full of dreads. So yeah, I have thought about it. But I don't think that I could, even if he threw himself on me.

The reasons, i'll tell you. I don't do anything with any man who is not gay. I do not want to be anyone's experiment. I don't want to be that predatory day man that goes after 'straight" men. And the other reason is that I know that it would change our friendship, which I value too much. I just can't do it.

Some men just want to freak around with another dude just once to see what it's like and satisfy their curiosity. Some aren't straight and want to gradually come out of their straight shell. Some men are bisexual and get a desire to partake upon the homosexual side later in life (he's 35). I'm not sure which one of these Leo is, but if he wants his first time to be with a man, then he can get with a more willing partner.

But if he catches me at the right moment and says the right thing, I might just give in!

What do you all think about this situation?

Bush Translator (Too Funny)

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Brains and Head

Fuck all of the slang and call it what it is: SUCKING DICK. Some of us do it, some of us don't. Some of us like it, some of us don't. I'm one of those that like doing it and getting it done. But the one thing that I don't like is people that claim to be good at sucking dick, but aren't. And even worse are the ones that don't want to listen when you tell them how to do it. So what i'm gonna do now is to give some hints and clues.

1. The most important thing about sucking dick is breathing. The next time you are giving someone some head, try to notice if you are breathing while you are sucking. Do not hold your breathe! If you don't breathe, then your jaw will get tired along with the rest of your body. Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!

2. They call it SUCKING dick for a reason. It isn't called jacking a dick. It isn't called playing with a dick. It isn't called looking at a dick. It's called SUCKING Dick! When you got a dick in your mouth, you need to put some pressure on it. You have to pretend that it's the best damn thing that you ever tasted! You got to suck on it like a McDonald's Milkshake! But don't suck too hard. You are not a vacuum! You have to use gentle pressure. Dicks are sensitive things. Just ask one.
3. Don't be afraid to let a little spit drip. You got to keep the dick wet. This allows your lips to slide up and down the shaft with ease. If you have a dry mouth, drink some type of citrus juice before you start. Believe me, that will keep your mouth wet as the Atlantic.

4. Use your lips to keep a grip on the dick. There should be no space between them and the object of affection. And there is no such thing as DSLs (Dick Sucking Lips). If you have a pair, then you can suck a dick. Just remember to keep your lips wrapped around the dick at all times. And watch those teeth. If you find yourself scraping his dick with your teeth, use your lips to cover your them. If you want to see a man cry, scrape his dick with your teeth.

5. Use your tongue when you are giving head. When you are going up and down, place your tongue against the shaft and do that up and down motion. Keep the tongue in contact with the dick. When you get tired of sucking, give your jaw and neck a break by licking the head and sides of the dick. And give that sack of balls a lick and a suck too. They don't want to be left out.

6. Use your hands. Especially if you want to see him nut. Grip your dominant hand lightly around the bottom (if it's a long one, grip the middle). When your neck goes down, bring your hand up to meet it. And make sure that you use a little saliva to lubricate your hand. I can't describe how good this feels, but the ones who have had it done, don't have to imagine.

7. Go farther than the head. When you are sucking dick, you have to put more than the head in. Depending on the size of the dick, you need to at least go half way. Any man can tell you that sucking on just the head can make it become sensitive. If you have a sensitive gag reflex, then suck in your stomach when you start to go down the shaft. Now if you plan on putting that thang down your throat, let me tell you something. DO NOT try to swallow or suck when doing this. Just let it slide as far as it will go. And this is the ONLY time that you should hold your breathe. Many a man can attest that getting deep-throated is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Just don't try to rush into it.

8. If a man wants to thrust while you are sucking, hold his hips or ass. DO NOT let him just pound away in your mouth. Some people can't handle a dick going in and out of their mouth at a fast pace. That shit can be hella uncomfortable. You have to control him and make him go a pace that is comfortable for you.

9. When it's nutting time, it's deciding time. Do I catch it or get the hell out of the way? If you are going to catch the nut, then you have to know when it's coming. Don't let that muthafucka surprise you. A suprise nut can cause I disaster, expecially if you have eaten recently. You get my drift? If you are going to catch and swallow it, stop sucking and just let it go directly down your throat. Do not try to collect it in your mouth and then swallow. And lastly, if you are gonna let it fly, do not get that shit in your eye. It can burn and itch like hell!

(Disclaimer-It is not advisable to ingest semen. While it is widely accepted that oral sex is safe, diseases can still be acquired by ingesting semen. Only ingest semen if you fully trust your partner).

10. Lastly, ask you partner which technique he likes best. Some like it slow and steady. Some like it fast and raunchy. Some like a lot of spit. Some want it as dry as possible. You have to talk to him and see what's best. But even though he likes one thing, try other techniques. He might find some other things that he likes.

And that's my advice on sucking dick. Please be advised that these are my opinions and are not rooted in scientific fact. Also, it is advisable to use a condom when performing oral sex. Now go out there and make some man's eyes roll back into his head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now who wants to give advice about taking and giving dick?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Part II

I'm driving on I-285 Westbound the other day and see this blue BMW behind me. The driver then accelerates to the side of me and starts blowing his horn. Of course, I looked over to see who this fool was and to see why he was blowing his horn. It was VP! As soon as I realized it was him, I took the next exit and got off the interstate. I can't have any contact with this man.

I can't say that I am completely over him. I honestly cant. But I know that if I were to be in his presence and he said all the right things, I would be back in that trap. It can't let that happen.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Something to Think About 9/11/06

I think that "Something to Think About XX/XX/XX" will become a part permanent part of my blog. This series will be designed to do just what the title suggest; make you think about something. It's probably gonna be something that is on my mind that I actually want feedback on. So feel free to comment honestly. With that said, here is the first installment.

Why do we date? If I were to ask this question to 100 people, I would probably get 75 different answers. Some people date for fun. Others date to avoid loneliness. Then some people do it as a sport or competition. But I think that the overwhelming reason that people to date is to find someone to share their life with.

It seems that most of us want to find that one person to share our lives with, but we have to date the others first. Often, when dates don't end up as permanent spouses, we look at it as a bad thing. But I think that we should use the situation as a learning tool. We should find out what it was about this person or about ourselves that prevented the situation from escalating.

It wasn't up until last year that I realized that I should be doing this. I hadn't been learning from my dating situations. Now, I actually think about situations from years back to see what I was supposed to learn. Now when I date someone, I know what to look for in a person. I know what I want in a person (most of the time).

We also must learn that just because we are dating someone doesn't mean that we have to continue dating that person. If we realize that something is not going to work out to make us happy, we need to learn to let it go with no hard feelings. I absolutely will not continue dating someone when I realize that we are not compatible. But what I will do is let the person know why I don't want to continue the situation. One of the worst things that you can do to someone is to not tell them how you truly feel. Or even worse than that is to discontinue communication abruptly without an explanation.

Another thing that we must learn is that dating is not a relationship until both parties agree that it is. Too often, the persons involved are not on the same page. One person has taken the situation farther than the other person has. I believe that until the parties involved discuss and make an agreement, there is no committment. Both people are free to do as they please.

I also think that dating does not have to be so stressful. We should be enjoying ourselves, not stressing over if someone is gonna call or if they are out with someone else. We should value the time that WE are spending with that person. Make the most of it and do things that you 2 enjoy. If you 2 enjoy staying home watching movies, do that. If you 2 enjoy going clubbing every night, do that. Just make sure that you are enjoying yourself. If you aren't, then you know what to do.

And lastly, you should know how to communicate with the person that you are dating. You 2 need to know how to talk to each other about what you are looking for, about what makes you happy, and about what makes you mad as hell. Honest communication can help us avoid a lot of heartache and misunderstandings.

With all of this said, I would like to know how you all feel about dating. Why do you do it? Do you learn from it? Can you walk away with no feelings? What's the deal. Let a brotha know what's up.

Friday, September 08, 2006

I Thought That This Was Funny

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Thursday, September 07, 2006

I'm Back

I had to take an unintended break from blog world for a few reason. One of those being that my laptop died. So I am using my old, unreliable desktop computer. I had to buy a wireles adapter so that I could connect to the internet. I'm suprised that this computer still works since I have had it for 5 years. The other reason for the break is that my roommate didn't pay the phone bill and the DSL was turned off for a few days. I will get into that in a few days.

But first let me tell you about my Labor Day Weekend in Atlanta. I must tell you that living here in Atlanta has it's advantages when it comes to Black Gay Pride Weekend. I don't have to worry about a place to stay, renting a car, or knowing where to go. BeatMug and Goofy stayed with me when they got in on Thursday. We pretty much hit up a club and party every night and day. Last year was all about the pride events during the day time. But this year was all about partying my ass off. Why? Because clubbing is gonne drop on my list of things to do. I didn't get to do much of the daytime events because getting in at 6-7am can zap your energy. Here are my observations:

1. The clubs were really cool.
A. Phase One was a cool place with an aight strip show on Thursday. But I see why
why it has a rep as an "old man" club.
B. Tower II DID NOT increase the cover on Friday night. I actually gave the dude
a twenty and walked off. He had to call me back to give me my change.
C. Traxx/Carnivale was hot, literally. There had to be about 10,000 people
there. And I am in love with the winner of the Hot Body contest. He had the
HOTTEST body and rightfully won. But for some reason, Jensen Atwood didn't
seem as sexy as he use to be. Or maybe I need to change my contacts.
D. Sunday night at Club Europe was all that and a phat ass and big chest. I got
see Toccara, Karamo, Monica and all the sexy men that you would want to see.
The fashion show lasted a bit longer than I liked, but Monica made up for it.
She is just down-home Southern Hood. I love her.
E. On Monday, we went to a pool party out in Stone Mountain, but the mosquitos
were on attack, so we didn't stay long. It was crowded as hell and I kept
wondering "What are the neighbors thinking seeing all of these men with no
women." Monday night at the Compound was cool. I didn't drink at all and
enjoyed the music. For some reason I don't even remember the performance by
Kaia because I was too busy being fast and being a playa. When
that club closed, we headed over to The Cabin Room cause I wasn't ready to go
home. It was aight, but that place is creepy as hell and a 6'6" drag queen
stepped on my toe in some high heels. I can't even describe how painful that

2. I saw a few bloggers: Derrick L. Briggs, Prodigal Sun, His Story, Frank Leon
Roberts, and No4Real4Real. The only one that I spoke to was No4Real4Real because
he and I met last year. If you are wondering why I didn't meet the others, it's
because I always feel ackward introducing myself to people that I know of who have
no idea who I am. It feels kinds stupid having to explain how you know someone
and they are thinking that you may be a stalker or something.

3. Each year that I attend this event it makes me want to hit the gym a little more.
Seeing all of these dudes with bodies that make you want to turn and slap someone
makes me a little jealous. But then again, they work at it a lot more than I do.
But I make a vow, that I will be Tight T-Shirt ready by my birthday in March! And
next Labor Day Weekend, I pledge to walk around a club with my shirt over my

4. I only spent $250 the whole weekend. Can you imagine that a few years ago, I
spent almost $2000 in one weekend in Atlanta. But that was for a rental car,
expensive hotel, treating 10 friends to dinner, shopping, and clubbing. And
also, my annual birthday trips to NYC cost about that much. So this year was a

5. I can't wait until next year!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

I'm Still Alive

Hey Bloggers,

I'm still alive and well. I haven't posted in a while because the hard drive on my laptop crashed. On top of that, I have no internet on my desktop computer because my roommate hasn't paid the telephone bill. My laptop should be fixed soon and I may go ahead and get cable broadband in my name and in my room only.

I'll post again as soon as I can because I have had a lot of stuff on my mind.