Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Think That I May Just...

...give up on dating (for a while) and settle for the occasional sex hook-up. Or maybe not.

Tuscany and I just didn't work out because we have opposing personalities and we were getting on each other's nerves. I had actually started to care for him, I knew I had to make that decision before we got serious. Plus he made a few contradictory statements. He kept telling me that he wasn't looking to get serious. On the other hand, he told a mutual friend of ours that he "hopes that God blesses our union and we can have a real relationship" (He doesn't know how to whisper). I was confused to say the least.

Then there was the issue with his ex-boyfriend. They had broken up in September after 4 years and I don't think that either of them was really ready to let go. So I decided to let him go to chase that dream. Oh well.

But my problem is that I don't want to go sexless. I have given up on one-night flings and hook-ups, but I like to have sex! Fuck that! I LOVE to have sex. But I've gotten to the point where I want to have romantic feelings for someone before I have sex with them. But since I don't really want to date anymore, what do I do?

Well, there are always those spare tires that I keep for emergencies. But none of them are all that reliable. I would want to have the same person available, not multiple dudes.

Then there's the internet hook-up sites. But it's just not safe to meet strangers for sex these days (as if it ever was). Plus I deleted those accounts.

So what do I do? Maybe I should just continue doing what I have been doing: NOTHING!!

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I Love America's Best Dance Crew...

...but this will ALWAYS be my favorite group and my favorite routine!!

Right at :55 seconds I almost had an orgasm!!

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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Horse's Thing

Great laugh!!!!!!!

The Horse's Thingy!A chicken and a horse were playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him to safety.

The chicken runs to the farmer but the farmer cannot be found. So she drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. She then throws the other end of the rope to her friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking.

A few days later the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "No, I think I can stand over the hole."So he stretched his legs over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up."So the chicken grabbed hold of the horse's "thingy" and pulled herself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse,
you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks!

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Sunday, April 19, 2009

Repost: 2/22/07 Am I Too Independent?

I had to repost this because Beatmug (My Best Friend) and I had a tiff because I refused to do his taxes!!! We cool now though.

When I was 18, my Mother bought me a 1979 Oldsmobile Regency for my high school graduation present. Seven months later, during my freshman year of college, it was stolen. You can best believe that I was devastated to say the least because I had only liability insurance on the car. As no surprise to me, my mother refused to buy me another car. I wasn't upset because I knew that she thought that 1 car was enough. When I was growing up, she taught me to do everything for myself. By the time I was 10, I was able to cook my own breakfast, wash and iron my clothes, and cut the grass. She never taught my siblings or me to depend on others for anything that we needed or wanted. And those teachings have stayed with me.

I tend to think that if I need something, I should attempt to do it myself first before I ask for help. I have NEVER been one to ask for assistance before I attempt it myself first. When I was moving into my apartment in Atlanta, I moved just about everything in by myself. It wasn't until I got to my sofa and loveseat that I needed help. And I had to call 3 people before I was able to find one to come help me. And the only reason that I asked for it then was that I didn't want to damage them. If I could have put them on my back, I would have.

It's not to say that I won't ask someone for help, but I rarely do. The reasoning: I just can't depend on other people for many things. My independent upbringing has a lot to do with it, but it's moreso the fact that people always disappoint when asked for or to do something. I have always believed that if you don't expect something, you can't be dissapointed if it doesn't happen. How many times have you had someone to not show up as scheduled? To not call you "right back" like they said they would? To lie to you when they could have just told the truth?

Another reason that I don't like to ask people for things is that I don't like to inconvenience other people when I can do something myself. If I didn't have a car, I would not ask someone to take me somewhere when there are buses and trains running. If I didn't know something, I would attempt to find it out before I ask someone. If I had no money, I would not expect my friends to pay my way. I don't think that most people think about how things can inconvenience the people whom they ask things of. That bothers me.

I had a friend to ask me to "do" his resume so that he can post it on a website and find a job. My first question was "do you already have one?" His reply: "No, I wanted you to do it." I asked him to do one himself and then I would go over it with him. His reply was "I don't know how to do a resume." I told him that there was a time when I didn't, but I took it upon myself to learn what it took to do a resume. I told him that I would only help him with his resume, not do it for him. He called me a "bitch". I told him that I was a "bitch with a job". *Got his ass right together*

I have been told by several people that I am too rigid. And sometimes, I actually agree, but not most of the time. It's just that I see no reason why a person should not be able to do something for themselves.

I think that a lot of my self assessments have stemmed from the my being tired of being peoples' crutch. I always seem to be the one that people call when they need something. But it seems that there are only 2 people that I can call on when I need something. I can't do it anymore and I won't. People are gonna have to learn to rely on themselves.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Urologist

I couldn't stop laughing!!!

A man went to his appointment with the urologist. In the examining room, he told the doctor, 'Don't laugh!' 'Of course I won't laugh,' the doctor said. 'I'm a professional. In more than twenty years, I've never laughed at a patient.'

'Okay then,' the man said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'willie' the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than, a triple A battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell to the floor, laughing hysterically.

Ten minutes later, he was finally able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. 'I'm so sorry,' he said. 'I really am'. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it will never happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?'

'It's swollen,' the man replied. Back on the floor went the urologist.

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Friday, April 10, 2009

I Don't Understand How...

...some people think. I really can't figure them out. I know i'm not perfect, but I at least think about things before I do them. Here's what inspired this post.

Wednesday, a friend of mine (Friend A) said that he wanted to go get something to drink. I was tired and sore from working out at the gym, so I suggested we go Thursday instead to which he said "cool". I also called another friend of mine (Friend B) and invited him also since the 3 of us were kinds making this hanging out a habit. We were to meet at 8:30pm at Joe's On Juniper to have a few drinks and some wings.

So Thursday comes and about 8:00pm I was just about to walk out the door. Something told me to confirm the time. So I text Friend A to confirm the time with him. I get a text back that said "I'm at the gym in Camp Creek, i'll text you when I get to my car." Now I sat back down and started thinking that if you were to meet people at 8:30 why would you be at a gym 20 miles from your house at 8:00? I didn't understand it.

I get a text from Friend B asking what time to meet and I explain to him the situation. He says cool. He's going to take a shower and to call him back with a new time. So I just suggested then that we just meet there at 9 to give him time to get his shower and make it to the restaurant. I sent Friend A a text telling him to just meet us at the restaurant when he could.

So I got in my car at 8:30 so that I could get to Midtown and find a place to park and go ahead and get a table. I made it there and rode around looking for a parking space before I found one around the corner. Something told me not to get out of the car, so I sat there for a while on the phone talking to my new boo (not Tuscany; that's over). I look up at the clock and it's 9:15. So I called Friend B to see how far away he is. He didn't answer. At that point, my mind told me to just drive back home. So I sent him a text saying "I just wanted to know how far away you are so that I don't get a table too soon". I get one back saying "Oh, i'm just getting dressed". I sent one back saying, "I'm just going to head home. I don't feel like waiting another hour". And I started my car and start driving home pissed off.

About 5 minutes into my drive Friend A called me and said that he was about 20 minutes away. I told him that I was just heading home because I was no longer in the mood to be around anyone. Of course I told him about himself and reminded him what ADVANCED NOTICE is when you are altering plans. His excuse for being late: He got free 1-day passes to go to the gym with his co-workers and wanted to use it. Really? So you wait to go the gym at 7:30 when you are supposed to meet your friends at 8:30? Really.

While talking to him, Friend B calls and without even telling Friend A, I just swapped calls (yeah I know it was rude) and started getting Friend B together. He asked me to come back because he was on his way and told me that I texted him initially he was just getting home and needed time to unwind. I asked him why the hell couldn't he have just said that before I got in my fucking car and drove 20 damn miles for him to be at home unwinding!!!!!!!

Maybe I just overreacted, but if you tell me a time for something, that's when I will be ready to do it. If I can't do something or will be late, i'll give you as much notice as possible. I always thought that this was common courtesy. But I guess it isn't all that common.

I've always been courteous to people and I always keep my word when I say that I will do something. But it's getting to the point that I feel that I am being taken for granted. I refuse to feel that way anymore. I'm tired of being the good one who everyone can rely on, but having no one to rely on for myself. I'm sick of it.

I guess my issue is that because I always keep my word to do something or give plenty of notice that I can't, I expect other people to be just as responsible. Well I was always told that if you never expect anything, you won't be disappointed.

So I guess what i'll do is treat people how I am treated. I'll start committing to events and happenings and not show up or be extremely late. I'll stop returning emails, text messages, and phone calls. I'll stop jumping up to help people when they need something. I'll stop being a shoulder to cry on when a boyfriend has them crying. I'll just be a bitch when I don't need to.

Since no one notices the good shit about me, let's see how soon they can notice the bad.

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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I Know I'm Getting Older Because...

...I noticed that I was driving with 2 hands today. I have never done that before. It's always been one hand on the steering wheel and 1 on the gear shift or my chin.

I noticed that I have been squinting at shit even when I have my contact lenses in. I have no idea why I have been doing that since I can see perfectly when my "store bought eyes" are in.

I noticed that I couldn't care any less about what people think about me. A few weeks ago, my motto became "FUCK THEM HOES".

I noticed that some days I want to wear khakis and a polo shirt instead of jeans and a T-shirt or shorts and sneakers.

I noticed that i'm thinking about the long term when making the smallest of decisions. I guess it's time to start saving for retirement.

I'm saying more and more things that my mother and father used to say and understanding what they meant and why they made sense.

Yes, I am getting older. Well everyone is getting older, but what I am really doing is maturing into a better, more level-headed mindset. And that's a good thing.

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