Wednesday, August 31, 2005


If by now you have not heard about the destruction that Hurrican Katrina has caused then you must be dead and not reading this blog. As a native of Mobile, Alabama, I have been through my share of hurricanes. But never, never in my life I have witnessed anything like this. The sheer destruction that the storm caused is unbelievable. I am still thinking, "this actually happened in the United States." I was watching the news earlier and started crying when I realized that the people of the areas affected have no idea what to do next. The have no homes, no clothes, no food, no anything. I am certain that I would lose my mind if I was ever involved in an event like this.

On Sunday morning when I left Mobile on my way back to Atlanta, the storm had winds of 135 mph. By Monday when the storm came ashore, it had winds of 175mph. That's a big gain in strength. The people were ordered to evacuate, but many had no means to do so. They had no transportation out of the city. And if they did, traffic was so bad that evacuation was slow at best. There are reports that the usual 4 hour drive from New Orleans to Houston was took 20 hours. People tried to go east, but were redirected north and west, because the path of the storm was unpredicatable.

What's sad about this is that it has happened before and was predicted to happen again. The New Orleans newspaper, the Time-Picayune, did a five article series on what would happen if a category 5 hurricane struck New Orleans. As I read the different articles, I was amazed as to how accurate the depicitions of the potential destruction were. It seems that everything that the writers predicted has occured just as they said that it would. The fact that there was a similar occurence in the city in 1965 should have been warning that it would/could happen again. It makes me wonder why there was lolly-gagging and pussy-footing going on, when it was warned that a storm like this would take out the city.

At this time, my heart and prayers go out to all of the people affected by Hurrican Katrina. Some of my money will also go to The American RedCross. And I hope that you all will follow suit.

BTW-My family in Mobile survived the storm. The have no power, part of my brother's roof blew off, and his car was heavily damaged, but they are all alive.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Cut From The Team

I was reading this article concerning Maurice Clarett being cut from the Denver Broncos (thats NFL football for those who don't watch the sport). While reading the article, I likened the situation to my situation with Linebacker. Clarett had issues as did Linebacker. In both situations, the player had issues that the coach tried to overlook because of the potential of the player. In this article, Coach Shanahan was quoted as saying "I know the situation, what's happened. His slate is clean and we're giving him an opportunity." I chosen to give the situation with my player a chance. I had said that I would not let any past experiences get in the way of what COULD happen here.

To reference the article, Clarett had injured himself early in training camp and missed practice several times and didn't seem to want to rehab. Linebacker had injured our situation when he said that he wouldn't consider doing you know what. Still Shanahan kept him on the team hoping that the situation would change for the better and I did the same with Linebacker. Luckily for both Shanahan and I, we both realized something before the season started. And that is that the situation was hopeless because the player wouldn't be able to help the team to a satisfactory goal. So, just like Shanahan did with Clarett, I released Linebacker from the team.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

No Kids For Me

Unless it's adoption!

I'll see you all on Sunday. I have to go visit the family this weekend. I really don't want to go, but oh well. I'll blog about it when I get back.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


I have read yet another study released by another agency that says that all Black Gay Men are gonna die of AIDS. This particular study says that 46% of us are infected with HIV. The study also says that 67% of those that were found to have HIV did not know that they were infected. Well I say to hell with this study and all the others that have relinquished me and all other Black Gay Men to a life of HIV. I have never and never will trust statistics. I will also never allow statistics to run my life. I watch the news like it's going out of style and get tired of hearing about studies. There are more studies going on about how people are too fat, how we spend to much money, how we have a higher chance of a heart attack. I don't believe any of this shit. There use to be a time when doctors told you to take one 250mg aspirin tablet a day to prevent a heart attack. My father took one everyday for as long as I can remember and he had four heart attacks in five years. Fuck statistics.

For the record, I took my HIV test on yesterday at AIDAtlanta and it came out negative. I didn't take the test to see if I didn't have it. I took the test to see if I did have it. Take the damn test. It's free and only take 20 minutes.

I have always been a person that speaks of personal responsibility. It was my responsibility to get tested. I had been putting it off for the last few months for some reason. This has also been my "busiest" season. I have had sexual contact with 12 people in the last year. If I had contracted HIV in the last few months, I could have passed it on to someone else. That would be the devastating part, not actually having the disease.

But back to the statistics. This article is the only one that speaks of the CDC's study and seeks to find why we as black men are more likely to have HIV. But I still think anecdotally about it. I only know first hand of two people that have HIV. Two people. If half of us are infected, should I not have more associates who have the disease since 90% of my friends and associates are Black Gay Men? This is one of the reason's that I don't trust statistics. I can't see the anecdotal evidence of them. The other reason is that the sample of people is never identified. Where do they find subjects to take part in the surveys? Why am I never asked to be in one? I think that the topic is sensationalized to scare the hell out of us.

Now the fact that I am bashing the studies does not mean that they have no merit. Even if they are not entirely factual, this one did prompt me to go ahead and get tested. As we all should. And if you are or are not infected with HIV, it is your personal responsibility to stop the spread of the disease any further.

Addendum: I understand what the survey says on paper, but I also understand what the survey "says" about Black Gay Men. If the average lay person reads this article, the inference that they would get would be that half of us have HIV. Give one of the articles to a 65 year old heterosexual or even a 32 year old heterosexual and see what she concluded from the article. One cannot say that this small sample is representative of all Black Gay Men, but that, I think, is the conclusion that people would get from reading one of these articles.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Less Than, Greater Than, Equal To

In elementary school, we learned about the less than (<), greater than (>) and equal to signs and their functions. The less than function was used when one number has less value than the number that it is compared to. For instance, 6 being less than 7 would be signified by 6<7.>6. And lastly the equal sign was used when two numbers were of the same value. For instance, 6 has the same value as 6. This is signified by 6=6. But this is all expository information, so I will get to the point.

I was talking to linebacker about his preferences when having sex. As I have said before in earlier post, he says that he is a top and does not wish to be penetrated or perform oral sex on a man. I have also stated my thoughts and disdain for the "no oral sex" part of his being a top. The issue at hand here is his explanation of why he won't take a dick in his ass or his mouth. I asked him why he does not wish to be penetrated or perform fellatio. He told me that if he did either of the aforementioned actions that he would feel like "less of a man." Those were his actual words. I have heard other men utter this statement, but I have never had a man to say it to me. I didn't know how to react. I asked him, "well what do you think of me while you are penetrating me or I am giving you head?" He told me that he doesn't think that way of the men that he has sex with. Huh???????????

I have never understood this philosophy. How can you think that you are less of a man by being penetrated or giving head, but not think that of the person that you are having sex with? Does the fact that I like to be penetrated and give a little head mean that I < you? Hell no! I don't believe in degrees of manhood and I never will. Either you are a man or you are not. No man is greater than or less than any other man because of how he chooses to have sex with another man. I believe each man is = every other man.

I hate to say it, but as much as I like Linebacker, this issue may cause us to end what little we have begun to build. I cannot date a man that feels that I am less of a man than him. Unless he can better explain his point-of-view, he and I are gonna have to part ways.

Can I get some feeback on this issue?

Friday, August 19, 2005

My Bright Idea

Everyone likes to think that his or her ideas are always the best. I am guilty of having this over and over and over again. But we must also realize that other peoples' ideas can be better than ours. On the other hand, there are some things that only you can determine and know what is best for you. This time I am talking about what kind of relationship that I want. And I have determined what kind of relationship I want. I have thought about it and thought about it and have not discussed it with anyone. This is My Bright Idea of the relationship that I want.

First off, I want a relationship with a man. There is no doubt about that. I am gay, a homosexual, SGL or whatever you want to call me. I am attracted to men with all of my heart and soul. That attraction is innate within me. I didn't choose it, it's just a part of me and I have never had a doubt about it. I want to share my romantic and partnered life with a man.

Second I want a relationship where there is a commitment to each other. I am not talking of only monogamy. I am talking about a total life commitment. I want to be as much a part of his life as he is of mine. Where he goes, I go. Where I go, he goes. If one gets a job on the other side of the world, the other ask, "when do we move?" A commitment to encourage each other to do things that will improve both of our lives. If one of us want to quit working to go to school, the other works twice as hard so that we can maintain our lifestyle.

I also want a relationship where there is totally open progressive communication. We have to be able to talk to each other about anything at anytime. We can't be afraid to tell each other anything. Even if it's bad, we have to be able to talk about it. We can't be afraid to speak our minds when we feel it. We have to also be able to understand each others' non-verbal communication. We have to know how to read the other person's actions, even if the words differ from the those actions.

I want a relationship where everything is about us, not him or me. We will have our house in Atlanta, New York, or Chicago. We will have our kids and an active part in their upbringing. We will have our cars where it doesn't matter who drives which one. We will have our money and decide how it should me managed.

I want a relationship where we compromise on the things that become an issue. If one of us spends too much money on clothes, we find a way to keep us both happy. If one of us wants our kids to go to private school and the other wants public, we do what is best for our kids. If we decide to travel to another part of the world for vacation, we make sure that it is a place that we both want to go. And I am not gonna even start on sex. Just as long as both of us is satisfied with that, we are good to go.

I want a relationship where there is complete trust. Neither one of us should have any reason to think that what the other is doing is detrimental to us making a life together.

I don't think that this is too much to ask. But the more I type, the more I think that it is a fantasy. Could this actually happen? Can two black man have a relationship where all of these things occur? Of all the people that I know, I know one black male couple that seems to have a life together that is all about them being and doing together. I want the same thing. I just don't think that I can find a black man that has the same desires for a relationship that I want. I'm starting to give up on that fantasy.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Things Are Looking Down

Well let me update everybody about Linebacker and I. When I left off, I was jet-setting it of to Canada for the week. I do not use my mobile phone when in Canada because it's $.69 a minute and text messages are $.35 cents each. So we were on AOL instant messenger for almost 2 hours talking about random topics.

We got on the topic of sex and sexual roles. I don't really categorize my sexual role. I just like sex. I am not a TOP. I am not a BOTTOM. I am not VERSATILE. When interrogated by a guy once he asked me if I could be with a person who never wanted to penetrate me. To that I said "Yes." He ask me if I could be with a person who would never let me penetrate them. To which I said "Yes." He then asked me if I could be with a person who always wanted both. To which I also replied "Yes." I told him that I could be happy as long as I was getting mine. He was totally confused. But back to the matter at hand.

Linebacker says that he is a TOP. Rarely when brothas say this do they mean it, but I took him at his word. To me this means that a brotha doesn't want a dick in his ass. I have no problem with that. Truly, I don't. But to Linebacker, being a TOP means that he also does not give head. HOUSTON WE HAVE A MUTHAFUCKIN PROBLEM! If you gone bang off in my ass forever, ya gone be sucking the gum out of the Blow-Pop. Ya feel me? I have a serious problem with men who say that they don't do this, or don't to that. It ain't all about you when it comes to sex, cause if I wasn't there, you would be fucking yourself.

Now when we first met, he told me that he didn't get penetrated. I told him that I could deal with that. He said nothing about sucking dick. Absolutely nothing! In my own ignorance, I assumed that he did it. I have never in my life run across a homosexual or bisexual man that did not, so why should I assume differently? Well, he says that he doesn't, has never, and never will do it. Now my problem is not that he won't do it, but all about the fact that he won't even consider it. As you all can probably tell, I like to get some head. I like head, more than ass or dick. So we have a problem here.

I would (probably) never break up with somebody over sexual issues. But as I said before, the big issue is not that he won't rock the mike, but that he won't even consider it. It makes me wonder what else will he not consider. What about if we decide to buy a house and I want one neighborhood, but he won't even consider it? What about if we decide to have kids, and I want to adopt and he won't even consider it? What it I want to Popeye's chicken, but he won't consider anything but Church's chicken? Am I supposed to give in all of the time? I know that people are gonna say that I am looking to far into the future, but I like to know what I am getting into.

I almost ended my situation with Linebacker at that point, but I didn't. I didn't because I have a habit of making fast decision. I want to actually think about this. I honestly could live without ever having some lips touch my dick, but why should I have to? Why would I give me all to a man that won't do the same with me? We ended the IM session by saying that we would talk about this when I returned stateside. I know what's gonna happen. I just don't want to do it over the phone.

Please give me some feedback on this one.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

"Ain't No Good Men Out There" Part 2

After reading the comments on my previous post titled "Ain't No Good Men Out There," i felt compelled to do a short follow up. I wrote that post because I realized that I was not being a good man to the good man that I had and it ended my relationship.

We have all dated, had sex with, talked to, been in a relationship with a "no good" man. My one question is this: Why put up with his ass? Whoever said that having a piece of man is better than not having one at all was on some bullshit! I don't don't understand why anyone would stay with a person that continuosly does them wrong. I have always lived by the mantra that: If it does you harm, get rid of it. If my car continously breaks down, I trade that mutha in. If a friend betrays my trust, I get rid of his/her ass. Why make it any different for a man?

The first time he says, "i'll call you later" or "i'll call you back," and doesn't, take that as a sign. The first time that he breaks a date, take that as a sign. The first time that he ask you for money, take that as a sign. If these signs keep flashing, change the road that you are on. Why keep driving on a bumpy road?

Basically, you got to recognize game before it recognizes you. Recognize that shit! Look for the clues and kick his ass to the curb.

If a dude ain't spending time with you, but wants to have sex all of the time, drop his ass!
If the dude ain't calling you when he says he will, drop his ass!
If a dude keeps breaking dates, drop his ass!
If a dude hits you the FIRST time, kick his ass and then drop him!
If a dude cheats on you, drop his ass!
If he ain't contributing to your happiness, drop his ass!

You just can't put yourself out there to be taken advantage of. The purpose of dating someone is to see if you 2 are right for each other. You got to recognize what is really going on. If you notice that you 2 are arguing everyday, and you have only been dating for 2 weeks, guess what? I ain't even got to tell you. If the man ain't making you happy, why keep him?

There are good men out there, but a lot of us are wasting our time on the ones that we know are not right for us. We are so caught up in want we want, that we don't look for what we need. I know that this post is a lot of rambling, but I just had to get it out. Holla back at me.

Life Lesson

There was a lion out in the jungle who had just killed a bull and there was nothing left but the bones. Lions roar to show their happiness and pride, so naturally he roared as he ate and chewed the bones...suddenly a hunter sees the lion, catches him in his scopes and shoots him dead...moral of the story is if you've got a mouth full of bull, its best to keep your mouth shut"

Monday, August 15, 2005

"Ain't No Good Men Out There"

The next person who says this in my presence is gonna get the shit choked out of them. And I mean it. How many times a week do we hear this statement? I think that I hear it at least twice a week and I am sick of hearing it. We hear it all. "I can't find a man. There are no good men out there. He didn't call me. He didn't come over. He doesn't talk to me. He doesn't like the things that I do. He doesn't have a job." Complain, complain, complain. Well, have we ever thought about the things that we do or don't do that can fuck up relationships? I had a good man and gave him away.

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend 3 years ago. I thought that I would never get over him. But I did. But not until I stopped blaming him for it all and admitted the things that I did that contributed to the demise of the relationship. While we were together, I said and did some pretty fucked up things to him. No, I didn't cheat, but I criticized, nagged, bitched at, controlled, and manipulated him. I criticized what he wore, the way he drove, the way that he did everything. I nagged him about completing task, about giving up more ass, about going to class, about everything. I bitched at him when he was late, when he drove to fast, when he didn't study, about everything. I tried to control when he went to work, how he spent his money, how he loaded the dishwasher, everything that he did.

Now, when we were together, I thought that I was doing what was right to make the relationship survive. But now, I realize that neither he nor I did and that we both did some dumb shit. But I am only talking about what I did/didn't do. I didn't buy him a card just because. I didn't support him in his endeavors. I didn't massage his tired feet. I didn't cook breakfast before he went to work. I didn't do enough.

It has taken me 3 years, but I realize that I had a good man. But there were things that I did and said that influenced the things that he did and said. I never wanted to admit it, to him or to myself. But now I have. And like people always say, you have to learn from your mistakes. I finally have learned what I did wrong.

So the next time that you start to complain about your man or men in general, think about the things that you do/don't do to maintain your relationship. Re-evaluate what you do.

I know that I am not perfect, but I am getting myself together. Dating and relationships is just one of the parts of my life that I am getting together. And I won't stop there.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

My New Thickums Part 2

This is just an update on how Linebacker and I are doing so far. I must say that it has been quite some time since I have enjoyed being with a man. He makes me smile, says the right things, hugs me tightly, and a whole lot of other things that I like. The man even cooked for me. I have spent the night at his house 3 times so far.


When I got back to Atlanta Monday night, I went straight to his house from the airport and he rushed me to the gym for an aerobics class, then we showered and he cooked. We then watch TV and went to sleep.

Tuesday: He had to go to work at 7am, so I stayed and slept. When I awakened, I went to take a shower. The shower needed cleaning (You can't get clean in a dirty shower) so I cleaned it. And then I cleaned the whole bathroom ( I still don't know why). Then I took a shower and left to go get a haircut, go to the gym and to check on my own house since I had not been there in 10 days. Of course when he got off of work, I was back at his house again. He went to the gym, I took a nap. I know you all are wondering why I go to his house so much. I would rather lounge around his 2800 sq. ft. house than my 900 sq. ft. apartment.

Wednesday: Linebacker didn't have to go to work until noon, so we slept until 10am. I then got up to cook breakfast for us. Had the pancake mix, eggs, grits, and turkey bacon ready to cook. Then he comes downstairs and tells me that there is no cooking oil. No cooking oil=No breakfast. After he showered and dressed, we both left the house. He went to work, I went home and then to the gym. I stayed at my house because I had to take a friend to the hospital for outpatient surgery early Thursday morning.

Thursday: Linebacker and I spent the day texting each other all day. I had planned on spending the night at my house and then all day Friday with him since he would be off, but I got a call from my boss at 10:30pm. She needed me to go to Canada for work for 10 days on a 6am flight. So I packed my shit and headed to Linebacker's house so that I could spend the night with him before I left. I'll just say that I didn't get much sleep.

And that was our week before I was jet-setting it off to work again. I guess you all can tell that I really like this man. I cleaned his bathroom and was going to cook for him, so you know that he is something. And while everything sounds great there is that one looming issue that you will have to wait till my next post to read about!

See ya then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Getting My Body Together

In January of 2004, I went to the doctor's office for a checkup. The first two test that I took were blood pressure and weight. My blood pressure was high as hell. It was measured at 160/90. So I was prescibed hypertension medication. But my weight! Now that was a different story.

I stood on the scale and the nurse started to move the sliders. She set the bottom slider at 150 and started moving the top slider past 40. She eventually moved the slider to the end, but the marker didn't balance. So she moved the bottom slider up to 200 and the top slider back to 0. It finally balanced at 210.5lbs. I was in complete shock. The nurse saw the look on my face and noticed that I had stopped breathing. She tried to restore my restore my breathing by assuring me that my weight was what what my 6'2" frame should be, which is 210lbs. She asked why I was so shocked by it and I told her that 200lbs was just that point that I didn't want to reach. I instantly felt fat. I then left the office and went home.

As soon as I got home. I stripped and looked at my body. For the first time in my life, I was nto satisfied with my physical being. I had slight love handles and the beginnings of man-boobs. I was not FAT, but I did have some body fat that had to go. I also looked at my face and compared it to a picture of my college days. That made my mood even more somber. I didn't know what to do. I had never been into physical fitness and knew that that would be the hardest thing in the world for me to do. But I did do one thing that helped. I changed my diet. That was hard because I travel frequently and eating well is not the easiest thing to do. When I got off of an airplane, the first thing that I did was to head to a fast food eatery. Burger King, McDonald's, Arby's or whatever. I stopped doing that. I started to head to Subway instead. From that time until June of this year, I lost 15 pounds, and that was without any exercise. I had lost weight, but the fat was still their. Where the hell did the 15 lbs go. So my weight was OK again after a year, but as I said, the fat was still there. I took my measurements and they were like this:

Chest-37 inches (with man-boobs)
Stomach-35 inches (with love handles)
Waist-35 inches
Arms-13 inches relaxed 14 inches flexed

I was devastated. After 15lbs lost in a year and everything was still the same. So I decided to do something real this time. I got off of my lazy ass and hit it to Bally Total Fitness. I joined and committed myself to 4 times per week. I changed my diet again to cut out fried foods and all soda, including diet sodas. I drink at least 64 ounces of water per day and take a diuretic pill to get rid of that excess water and sodium. I had 3 sessions with a personal trainer, but found that to be too expensive. I do 20 minutes of cardio exercise and 4o minutes of weights 4 times per week.

The results after 6 weeks.
Chest-36 inches (man boobs are almost gone)
Stomach-34 inches (love handles are still there though)
Waist-33.5 inches
Arms-14 inches relaxed and 15 inches flexed.
I also notice that my legs have a little more shape to them (they have always been shapely)
My shoulders also seem a but more defined
My butt is more rounded

All this in only 6 weeks. I am also quite happy that my BP is now down to 140/85 without the help of medication. I am quite nervous about posting these, but take a look at my pics and tell me what you think.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Why Is Everybody So Sad

I have been reading blogs (black and/or gay themed only) since January, and the overall sense that I get is that not many people are happy with their lives. I don't know what it is, but we have got to do something about their lives. If it's not money problems, it's job or men. We gots yes, I said gotS) to do better.

Here are some things that I do to help me stay happy:

1. Each morning when I awaken, I thank the higher power for all that I have done, am doing, and will do in the future.

2. Smile. No matter what the situation. If you catch yourself with a mean mug, change it.

3. Tell people exactly what's on your mind and don't sugarcoat it. Tell it like it is.

4. Hit the gym. This is the best thing that I can think of to relieve stress. When I feel those pangs of depression coming, I hit it to Bally's to improve the buns.

5. Remember your goals in life and do something each day that helps your progression toward those goals. If you hate your job, you should spend at least an hour a day looking for and preparing yourself for something better.

6. Do something nice for somebody even if they don't show appreciation.

7. For those of us with self-esteem issues, look in the mirror at that part of your body that you love. I look at my legs and arms at least 20 times a day. No lie.

8. Tell yourself that you love yourself and mean it. Rupaul said it most emphatically when he said, "How in the hell are you gonna love somebody else when you don't love yourself?" can I get a HELLO on that quote?

9. Stop the hate and you will stop the heartache. To paraphrase Medgar Evers, It's a waste of time to hate people because half of the people that you hate don't know and the other half don't care.

10. Spend less money than you make. If you don't have enough money, do a budget and cut out the shit that you don't need. I don't need to buy a new set of rims for my car, so that was taken out of my budget.

We can't sit around being sad and depressed all of the time. That leads to some of the negativity that floats around touching us on the shoulder. I have read on some of the blogs that their is animosity going on among the Black Gay Bloggers. Let it go. Just let it go. It's not helping any of us.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Fat Chicks

I just had to post this picture. This is ridiculous.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Potential Boyfriend Questions (PBQs)

A lot of people say that they can tell if they are compatible with someone within minutes of meeting someone. I am one of those people. When I meet a guy, if I like him and I am attracted to him, he gets the Potential Boyfriend Questions to see where he is in life. If I don't like him, then he gets idle conversation till the date is over. It's kind of like an interview.

Within the last two weeks I met two different men online. The first was Old Photo. That moniker should explain why he got it, but I will explain why anyway. Online, he had a picture that was not representative of himself. I could tell that it was a few years old, because it looked like him, only 30 pounds ago. Weight is not a problem, misrepresentation of oneself is. When we met, I was in his presence for all of 10 minutes when I determined that Old Photo would not get the Potential Boyfriend Questions.

The other guy that I met was Linebacker. This man mesmerized me when we met. His picture and complete profile was representative of him to the fullest. It took about 2 hours, but I was able to determine that Linebacker would get the Potential Boyfriend Questions.

And here they are in no particular order:

1. Why did you approach me/send me a message? If his answer focuses only on the physical (especially online), I get a little more cautious of his intentions. If he mentions personality, then I know that he is lying. How you gonna know my personality and you just met me?

2. How is your relationship with your parents family? I want to know how he gets along with his peeps. Will I possiblly have to deal with a bitchy ass family or do they adore him?

3. Why did your last relationship end? I'm nosey like that. I just wanna know. It gives me an idea of what I may be able to expect from you.

4. What are you career plans? This always leads a man to tell me what he is doing now in his life. He will also tell me of the things that he wants to do. If he has goals, he will usually tell me what he is doing to reach them. We all know that some brothas have been "trying" to do something for years and ain't done anything.

5. Do you live with your parents/family? When you get so a certain age, it's time to be on your own or at least living with a roommate or two. Now when you reach 30, it's time to have your own shit.

6. Have you ever had your heart broken or been cheated on? Some people who have been through these situations will probably have some trust issues with you. They are probably gonna be suspicious of you and a possessive.

7. Do you have any kids? I just wanna know. I don't mind a man with kids, but I wanna know if someone else will be first in your life. If he does have a child or children, I also inquire about his relationship with them and the children's mother(s).

8. How do you classify your sexuality? Yes, I believe in labels. I wanna know if a brotha is gay, bisexual, or whatever. I ain't dealing with a brotha that doesn't know what the hell he is.

9. Are you involved in any way with someone? If a brotha tells me no, I still don't believe it until time has passed. If he tells me yes, then I wanna know the nature of the relationship. If he can't open up and tell me about it, then this is the last time that we talk.

10. Have you ever had or do you still have a sexual/romantic relationship with a woman? I ain't dealing with brothas who want to hide behind a woman.

These are some of the questions that I asked Linebacker. He answered each question with confidence and without appearing offended by any of them. Most guys get offended and think that I am prying into their business. In all actuality, I am trying to save us both some time. I was very impressed with Linebacker's demeanor during his interview and he may be a keeper. But only time will tell.