Thursday, August 18, 2005

Things Are Looking Down

Well let me update everybody about Linebacker and I. When I left off, I was jet-setting it of to Canada for the week. I do not use my mobile phone when in Canada because it's $.69 a minute and text messages are $.35 cents each. So we were on AOL instant messenger for almost 2 hours talking about random topics.

We got on the topic of sex and sexual roles. I don't really categorize my sexual role. I just like sex. I am not a TOP. I am not a BOTTOM. I am not VERSATILE. When interrogated by a guy once he asked me if I could be with a person who never wanted to penetrate me. To that I said "Yes." He ask me if I could be with a person who would never let me penetrate them. To which I said "Yes." He then asked me if I could be with a person who always wanted both. To which I also replied "Yes." I told him that I could be happy as long as I was getting mine. He was totally confused. But back to the matter at hand.

Linebacker says that he is a TOP. Rarely when brothas say this do they mean it, but I took him at his word. To me this means that a brotha doesn't want a dick in his ass. I have no problem with that. Truly, I don't. But to Linebacker, being a TOP means that he also does not give head. HOUSTON WE HAVE A MUTHAFUCKIN PROBLEM! If you gone bang off in my ass forever, ya gone be sucking the gum out of the Blow-Pop. Ya feel me? I have a serious problem with men who say that they don't do this, or don't to that. It ain't all about you when it comes to sex, cause if I wasn't there, you would be fucking yourself.

Now when we first met, he told me that he didn't get penetrated. I told him that I could deal with that. He said nothing about sucking dick. Absolutely nothing! In my own ignorance, I assumed that he did it. I have never in my life run across a homosexual or bisexual man that did not, so why should I assume differently? Well, he says that he doesn't, has never, and never will do it. Now my problem is not that he won't do it, but all about the fact that he won't even consider it. As you all can probably tell, I like to get some head. I like head, more than ass or dick. So we have a problem here.

I would (probably) never break up with somebody over sexual issues. But as I said before, the big issue is not that he won't rock the mike, but that he won't even consider it. It makes me wonder what else will he not consider. What about if we decide to buy a house and I want one neighborhood, but he won't even consider it? What about if we decide to have kids, and I want to adopt and he won't even consider it? What it I want to Popeye's chicken, but he won't consider anything but Church's chicken? Am I supposed to give in all of the time? I know that people are gonna say that I am looking to far into the future, but I like to know what I am getting into.

I almost ended my situation with Linebacker at that point, but I didn't. I didn't because I have a habit of making fast decision. I want to actually think about this. I honestly could live without ever having some lips touch my dick, but why should I have to? Why would I give me all to a man that won't do the same with me? We ended the IM session by saying that we would talk about this when I returned stateside. I know what's gonna happen. I just don't want to do it over the phone.

Please give me some feedback on this one.


Blogger Karsh said...

Oh dear...that's a tricky one. Like you, I could give or take when it comes to penetration...but no head? Not even with a condom? Start feedin' him Chick-O-Sticks, popsicles and frozen bananas until he builds up an oral fixation.

Nah, I'm kidding.

It sounds hasty, but it could be prudent to downgrade things into a "friends only" mode. Sex shouldn't end a good relationship, and it sounds like you really dig this guy. Talk it out.

8:00 AM, August 19, 2005  
Blogger Ladynay said...

See now I wanna Chick O Stick! LOL

My 2 cent is that a face to face convo is in order. Even though sex is not number 1 on a relationship priority list, sexual compatiblity is important in a relationship.

Is there a reason why your friend won't even consider giving oral?

8:43 AM, August 19, 2005  
Anonymous Bernie said...

Before downgrading or dropping him altogether, make a list of all the things you like about him. Then another list of all the things you don't like about him. Let that influence whether you think this is a deal breaker or a resolvable problem.

But now, no dick sucking?!?!?

9:49 AM, August 19, 2005  
Blogger lj said...

Wow...I've dated a couple of "Tops", but they where at least willing to..orally please me. One even gave up the booty on occasion.

Pride!!! A lot of men feel being penetrated and perfoming oral sex on their partner puts them in the "bitch" role. I understand that a lot of men just don't like the physical sensation of being penetrated but slobbing the knob is all about pleasing your partner. I would be concerned about being with someone who's not willing to make sure you're being satisfied sexually.

The only advice I can give you is to talk to him about..calmly. Maybe he'll understand and be willing to change. If not.....

10:50 AM, August 19, 2005  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

I'll explain why he won't consider it in my next post. It's the dumbest and most common excuse that a man can give.

5:09 PM, August 19, 2005  
Blogger Tim said...

Well, as someone that knows exactly what he wants (sometimes) I say talk it out. Calmly. If there can be no compromise, then....

After all, COMPROMISE is all a relationship is, right?

6:24 PM, August 19, 2005  
Blogger PISTACHIO JOE said...

dump him. that's some bull shit. i hate to say it, cause maybe things will work out. but i aint got time for closed minded people.

don't knock da shit if you aint tried it.

4:59 PM, August 29, 2005  

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