Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Potential Boyfriend Questions (PBQs)

A lot of people say that they can tell if they are compatible with someone within minutes of meeting someone. I am one of those people. When I meet a guy, if I like him and I am attracted to him, he gets the Potential Boyfriend Questions to see where he is in life. If I don't like him, then he gets idle conversation till the date is over. It's kind of like an interview.

Within the last two weeks I met two different men online. The first was Old Photo. That moniker should explain why he got it, but I will explain why anyway. Online, he had a picture that was not representative of himself. I could tell that it was a few years old, because it looked like him, only 30 pounds ago. Weight is not a problem, misrepresentation of oneself is. When we met, I was in his presence for all of 10 minutes when I determined that Old Photo would not get the Potential Boyfriend Questions.

The other guy that I met was Linebacker. This man mesmerized me when we met. His picture and complete profile was representative of him to the fullest. It took about 2 hours, but I was able to determine that Linebacker would get the Potential Boyfriend Questions.

And here they are in no particular order:

1. Why did you approach me/send me a message? If his answer focuses only on the physical (especially online), I get a little more cautious of his intentions. If he mentions personality, then I know that he is lying. How you gonna know my personality and you just met me?

2. How is your relationship with your parents family? I want to know how he gets along with his peeps. Will I possiblly have to deal with a bitchy ass family or do they adore him?

3. Why did your last relationship end? I'm nosey like that. I just wanna know. It gives me an idea of what I may be able to expect from you.

4. What are you career plans? This always leads a man to tell me what he is doing now in his life. He will also tell me of the things that he wants to do. If he has goals, he will usually tell me what he is doing to reach them. We all know that some brothas have been "trying" to do something for years and ain't done anything.

5. Do you live with your parents/family? When you get so a certain age, it's time to be on your own or at least living with a roommate or two. Now when you reach 30, it's time to have your own shit.

6. Have you ever had your heart broken or been cheated on? Some people who have been through these situations will probably have some trust issues with you. They are probably gonna be suspicious of you and a possessive.

7. Do you have any kids? I just wanna know. I don't mind a man with kids, but I wanna know if someone else will be first in your life. If he does have a child or children, I also inquire about his relationship with them and the children's mother(s).

8. How do you classify your sexuality? Yes, I believe in labels. I wanna know if a brotha is gay, bisexual, or whatever. I ain't dealing with a brotha that doesn't know what the hell he is.

9. Are you involved in any way with someone? If a brotha tells me no, I still don't believe it until time has passed. If he tells me yes, then I wanna know the nature of the relationship. If he can't open up and tell me about it, then this is the last time that we talk.

10. Have you ever had or do you still have a sexual/romantic relationship with a woman? I ain't dealing with brothas who want to hide behind a woman.

These are some of the questions that I asked Linebacker. He answered each question with confidence and without appearing offended by any of them. Most guys get offended and think that I am prying into their business. In all actuality, I am trying to save us both some time. I was very impressed with Linebacker's demeanor during his interview and he may be a keeper. But only time will tell.


Blogger Tim said...

OK you know I'm gonna definitely have to use these questions!

But on the real, I have a screening form that I use. Yeah you heard it right, a screening form. It's like your ten questions but it gets a little more detailed. I'll share it with you ... one day. :)

10:54 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Karsh said...

Damn - you don't play in getting down to business in the first convo, do you?

11:08 PM, August 03, 2005  
Blogger That Girl said...

I am not gay and I think I could use them..mad props!

4:42 PM, August 11, 2005  

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