Update-11/5/09

1. I'm dating someone new that I actually think likes me as much, if now more than I like him. Hmmm, i'll call him HR. HR and I met on the cruise that I went on last month. We were leaving the ship and he asked me for a pen to fill out his customs form. Our eyes met and I felt something, but I wasn't sure. Well, he found me on Facebook and it's been good from there.

2. I got a ticket on Monday. I was on a one way street in the far right lane and needed to make a left turn. The lane I was in was an option lane to either turn left or go straight. The car next to me was in the lane to turn left only. When the light turned, th driver kept straight. To keep from hitting her, I had to keep straight also. The problem was that this was an HOV onramp. Wouldn't you know it that there were 2 police officers waiting around the corner. She had a passenger, so she didn't get stopped. I was riding solo and I got a ticket. But surprisingly, I didn't get upset. I just pressed on to where I had to go. No point in gettin upset.

3. I'm a lot happier than I was just a month ago. I don't know what it was, but after the cruise, I felt rejuvenated and just plain happy. I guess I realized again that being happy is a choice and state of mind. I decided to stop worrying about things that I can't control and change the things that need to be changed.

4. I've been off my diet and exercise plan for the last month and it's showing. When i'm working, I eat 3 large meals and rarely exercise. As long as i'm off, I eat well because I can go to the grocery store and choose my meals. That's a lot more difficult on the road traveling. But I think I may be off for about 3.5 weeks starting tomorrow, so it's back to the diet.

5. Since I can't play tennis during the colder months, i'm going to buy me a raquetball raquet and some raquetballs and play at my complex. I didn't even know that we had a raquetball court!! But i'm going to use this as my exercise for the time being. I actually took a class back in college, so I still know the rules.

6. I'm getting the finances in order like I said that I would. It's easy not to spend money when you pay all of your bills first. At that point there is less to money to waste. My next goal is to tackle my credit report and see what needs to be cleaned up there. The goal after that is to contribute more to my savings account.

7. I started volunteering with the American Cancer Society last week. Since it's Michelle Obamas initiative to increase volunteerism, I figured that I might as well do my part. The fact that I have plenty of days off with nothing to do helps also. I'm enjoying the experience thus far and hope to continue.

8. I've decided to discontinue looking for another job and work on improving what I have in the job that I have. I know that there aren't any promotions or raises coming, but I want to be too valuable to let go in case of any layoffs.

9. I've finally gotten over my distaste of taking pictures. I swear that there is always something off about me when I take pictures. Either my hair is nappy looking, my nose grows, i'm 3 shades darker or lighter or just something. Now, I just put on my best smile and take the picture!!! I'm loving what i've seen so far.

10. I haven't been blogging a lot because there hasn't been much on my mind. I read a lot of my older blogs post and saw that most of them were all about my sorrows and woes. Well since i'm a lot happier with life, there isn't as much to blog about. But I think i'll start to blog about my everyday experiences.

On Thursday October 8, 2009...

...I embarked upon the Carnival Cruise ship with the Sailsation group!! Since February of this year, I had been waiting for that day and I was ready. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of fun that I had. I really can't, but know that I had the time of my life.

Now of the 2050 passengers on the ship, our group was only 120 of the capacity, but you can best believe that the SGL Black man and women of Sailsation made their presence known. We weren't being extra or anything like that. What we were doing is being ourselves. I was kinda put off at first by the stares that we got from the "others", but then I realized that they weren't there for us and we weren't there for them. We were there to have fun!! And that's what we did. We even had our very own comedian in the form of Comedian PT!!!!!

It was honestly so refreshing to see people who didn't know each other to come together and interact like we had known each other for years. I met so many people that I hope to continue to get to know. I didn't see any shade being thrown. I didn't see any competitions to see who was the better this or that. I didn't see any of the activities that people stereotype upon Black SGL people. All I saw was people having fun. And that was enough for me.

We boarded in Jacksonville FL, sailed to Freeport and Nassau, Bahamas, and then back to Jacksonville.

I'm not sure if they are sailing again next year, but just like someone told me about this trip, i'm telling you all!!!!

Here are some more pictures.

Enjoy!!

I Read This Editorial, But...

...I'm not sure how I feel about it. But here it is. Let me know how you feel about it.

A Non-Pessimistic View On Why the Majority of SGL\Black Gay Men of Color Will Grow Old Alone

An editorial by Cleon T. Day, III

Some of you might think that the first part of the title doesn’t match up with the latter part. How can stating “the majority of SGL/Black Gay Men of Color will grow old alone” be a non pessimistic view. Well for one thing in the closer picture in your life with the exception of a few can you count the number of people you personally know who are in a long-term relationship on two hands. The facts within your own circle is evidence of the majority of SGL/Black Gay Men of Color being alone.

Many of you can give “good reasons” why you are alone. Some of you will say that it’s your choice but I believe it’s not your choice as it is the climate not being right, quality relationship- oriented men being available or accessible. I believe if you move in the same circles you been in for several or many years you will continue to experience men in the same circles you move in, the ones you don't want. Then there are those men who are tired of the games and the past headaches of the last or past relationships and are forced by the lack of available or accessible of SGL/Black Gay Men of Color looking for a long-term relationship so you resign yourself from the whole thing of going out and looking a partner.

At some point SGL/Black Gay Men of Color who have only dated within their race will date outside of their culture to find not perfection but “a good man”. For some odd reason there’s a notion that Caucasian men are good candidates for long-term relationship, a belief that there’s more stability, a partnership where there’s personal and material growth. Also Black Gay Men of Color are looking for respect something they aren’t getting too much of from their own brothas. On the other hand a conscious Same-gender Loving man would never consider dating descendants of former slave owners.

I postulate that there are more single relationship- oriented Same Gender Loving/Black Gay Men of Color available than there are not. However what I do say is although they’re available they’re not as easily accessible to us the majority of us. I believe most of these men are for the most part undetectable or as we say in gay terms "unclockable" . Some of these men are closeted and discreet while other unclockable men don’t define themselves as being out but just low-keyed and have no problems in going out with a brotha on a Friday or Saturday night where other heterosexual couples are going to be. However they don't see themselves standing out as a sore thumb but two male men out to catch a movies as any straight brothas and yet they're not measuring themselves against what "they" so.

So here are the facts as I see them;

1. Many of the men we tend to run into in the circles we continue to run in are not honestly looking for a relationship but if it happens it happens, in the meantime it’s about getting some dick or booty or both.

2. There are perhaps SGL/Gay Men of Color in every profession and income level that you can think of with the exception of President or Vice President of the United States.

3. Most of these SGL/Gay Men of Color are single and are not in the clubs or on the adult male sites looking for a long-term relationship.

4. Many long-term relationship- oriented SGL/Black Gay Men of Color are discreet, low key and go about their daily routine of going to work everyday and living for the weekend.

5. Many of these men will meet men from time to time whether it’s at the gym, at work or by chance in a grocery store. It might start off as a sexual encounter but because they are relationship- oriented it might turn into something more.

I believe if we continue to move in the same circles of meeting guys who aren't who we want or stay to ourselves undetected, relationship- oriented SGL/Black Gay Men of Color will continue to be by themselves and grown old alone.

I was good with his article until he gave his "facts" as he sees them.

1. Many of the people in circles I see do want relationships. They just don't want relationships with each other.

2. What was the point of that? I don't think that people really care that much about income. I know I don't. As long as you can take care of yourself, i'm good.

3. Well, where are they? The reason that people feel comfortable with clubs and chat sites is because they know that the men are same-sex attracted.

4. How does he know this? And what does he mean by discreet and low-key?

5. Again, how does he know this?

What do you all think?

I Have No Faith...

...in people when it comes to spiritual beliefs and I believe that I have explained why in at least one post or another. This was a thread on facebook that a "friend" of mine posted. The comments, although intended to be comical, just made my eyes bug out. Why are people so critical of other people's beliefs?


GK: asks what do you say to an atheist after they sneeze?? Anyone?? lol

Yesterday at 4:48pm · Comment ·

LC: Kazuntite!! Lol Idk
Yesterday at 4:50pm

GK: lmao! thats a good one
Yesterday at 4:51pm

NP: Hope u didn't get any on you
Yesterday at 5:15pm

AJJ : "You're f#cked!" Lol sike just playing...I don't know good question.
Yesterday at 5:17pm

Norris: You don't say anything and respect their beliefs. That's what I do.
Yesterday at 5:30pm · Delete

TU: Jesus loves you! LOL!
Yesterday at 5:31pm


GK: When u die nothin happens???
Yesterday at 5:45pm

CM: Go to hell?? lol They'd probably love that.
Yesterday at 5:58pm

Norris: Wow!! I can't even joke on this one because of the negative judgements about other people's beliefs. And people wonder why I stopped going to church. Why can't people just respect what other people believe?
Yesterday at 6:55pm · Delete

NJ: Welp I think Norris just shut this topic all the way down. NEXT! Lmao
55 minutes ago


I just didn't think that this was funny. If someone had made fun of Christianity, Islam, or Judiasm, I don't think there would have been any LOLs in the comments.

I'm Going To Get...

...myself together for real. I've sat around and just existed for years and years with little progression. I'm nowhere near happy with myself, where I am, how I feel, what I look like, what my career is. I don't think i'm really happy about much these days. But all of that has to change. It has to. I just can't take this anymore.

So Norris has to:

Stop defending old excuses and start developing a new attitude. I had an "AHA" moment today when I almost didn't hang out with a friend. I actually tried to come up with an excuse as to why I shouldn't go. But I went.

Stop being a slave to my own negative aspects. They pop up when I don't want them to. They have got to go!! I have to stop thinking the worst or that nothing good can happen to me.

Learn to like me. Oh, I love myself, but I don't think that I like myself and constantly want to change aspects of myself.

Get off of my ass and get these finances in order. I know that I need a budget, but i've made excuses as to why I shouldn't make one. It's coming, but I think I need to find a financial counselor. I honestly can't do this on my own. I've even thought about filing bankruptcy even though I know I don't have to.

Everything here has something to do with my attitude and I have to find a way to get change that. The problem is that sometimes I don't think that I am doing anything wrong. I don't realize that it's wrong until after. Gotta change that.

I have to change a lot of things. And i'm starting today.

There Had Come A Point...

...in dating where I actually thought that there was something wrong with me. I've been reflecting on my dating experiences for the last week and I actually thought it must be something that I have been doing wrong.

Then I got real and realized that there is nothing WRONG with me. I've been doing the one thing that I know how to do and that is to be myself. I'm not going to blame myself for my dating issues. I'm just going to deal with them.

The only problem is that I haven't found someone that suits me and vice versa. I'll live with that thought until that person comes along.

I Feel A Lot...

...better today. The last 2 days have not been good for me or my spirit. So I got up this morning and played tennis for 3 hours. When I got on the court, I was still sluggish and feeling blah. But as I played, I felt better and better. I took my mind off of finances, men, obligations, life decisions, family issues, job, and everything else and I just played. I feel so much better.

The only problem with playing tennis so much is that my face is now much darker than the rest of my body. I may have to start playing naked!LOL