Sunday, July 31, 2005

My New Thickum's

What the hell is a "Thickums"? Well, a Thickums is a brotha that's not fat, but a bigger than "average" brothas. A thickums can be tall, short, medium height, light, dark, in between or whatever. He can have a little belly ( even a big one) but he just can't be thin. Brotha gots to have some heft about him. He's not muscular, but not flabby, just solid. What a lot of people call "football player build. And I love me some thick brothas. I think that the brothas are just sexy as all get out.

I met one. I will call him LineBacker The brotha is 6'5" tall and about 250lbs. Thick thighs, thick calves, thick arms, and a thick... Well you get the picture. LineBacker is handsome, has a great job, owns two homes, loves his moma, has a college degree, can hold a conversation, and is my age (our birthdays are 7 days apart). I think that I may have to keep this one. I have only seen one issue so far.

We met Friday the way that most people meet. On the internet. After exchanging about 4 messages he asked for my number. I surprised myself by giving it to him. I usually make a brotha wait so that I can see where his mind is. But I didn't. Linebacker called me immediately and we talked for a good hour. Something told me that he was gonna be a good one, so I told him that he could come over. Now I had seen his picture on line and read his profile and thought that he was kinda good-looking. But when that brotha stepped out of that little ass 3 series, I was like "DAMN, what a man, what a man."

We sat and talked for a few minutes and then he asked me to ride with him to go pay a bill. He had on some basketball shorts and a sleeveless shirt. I saw those thick legs and calves and almost went crazy. You know I was trying to sneak a peek at the goods to. I mean, why else do brothas wear basketball shorts? They know what the hell they doing. In the car we had decent conversation. He was stealing little glances at me while he was driving and I did the same to him. I was trying not to show too much interest. But then I said to hell with it and told the brotha that he was tight work. He told me that he thought that I was all that too and I had to deflate my head to get out of the car.

Anyway, we make it back to my place and continue talking. I sensed something good about LineBacker, so he got the "potential boyfriend questions" which I will explain in a later post. He asked for a kiss and I gave it to him and you know where that led too. This brotha picked my 6'2" 185lbs ass up and carried me to my bedroom. That felt a little strange, but oh well. Usually, if i'm interested in someone, I don't have sex with them for a few weeks at least. I gave this brotha the booty on the first night. And it was worth it. After months of boring to mediocre sex, this brotha laid it on me so good that I screamed. He knew what to do and when to do it. It's like he was reading my mind. When I would think about what I wanted next, he would do it. And the best part about it, when he climaxed, he made plenty of noise. I can't stand having to ask a brotha if he came or having to look for the evidence. You gonna know without question when I climax.

Afterwards, we took a shower and talked some more. I was shocked that I had sex with someone that I had just met. But I didn't feel as though I regretted it. After we finished talking, LineBacker left and called me when he got home. I went out to Tower 2 with some friends and had a good time.

Now for the issue. Linebacker says that he has never been penetrated and has no desire to do so. My dick is not retired, so that can be a problem. But then again, my last three boyfriends all said the same thing and I eventually ended up dicking them down.

Now, it may sound like I am all excited about him, but i'm not. I'll say optimistic, but not excited. I always keep my eyes and ears open. I'll keep you all (all 2 of you) posted on Lindbacker.

P.S.-To see the part that is blacked out, just highlight it. I have no idea why this is happening.

Saturday, July 30, 2005


I cannot understand how a dude can meet you on Friday and ask you to be his boyfriend on Saturday. Somebody please give me some insight on this. It has me so confused that I don't even think that I can type about it. Yes I can.

I met this dude on Friday evening. Handsome, got some sense (I think), speaks clearly, tall and thick. Just sexy as hell. We kicked up some dust on Friday when we met and had a pretty good time. This morning, he called me "baby" and asked me to if we could be exclusive. My reply: "Give me a few months."

This always seems to happen to me. I met another dude a few weeks ago and freaked with him once. I told him that it was a one time only thing. The dude is still calling me two weeks later asking me when we can go out. NEVER!

What the hell is wrong with men these days? If I wanted a muthafuckin' relationship, I would get one. I don't do microwave relationships. Mine has to be slow cooked so that I can get all the flavor out of it?

I got to go to sleep. I'll blog about this at a later time.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

My Crash Moment

Well, shit! If it can happen to Oprah Winfrey at Hermes, then it can happen to my po' black, ordinary ass at the Ramada Inn. I had my own crash moment and i'm pissed because I didn't react the way that I thought that I would have. I'll tell ya'll about it in a minute, but I gotta give you some background first.

I work as a training specialist for a hotel company. Essentially, I install software, hardware, and hold training classes on the software and hardware that I install. This job allows me to travel all over the country and Canada and stay in a lot of hotels. I run into a lot of shit during my travels. But this event pissed me off to the fullest.

I was in my hotel room chillin with my hand in my underwear watching the AND1 Mixtape Tour on ESPN2 (ya'll got to catch this shit). My phone rings with a call from the front desk with a request to help them with some issues. So I throw on my corporate khakis, polo shirt, and dress shoes and head to the desk. On the approach to the desk I notice this OLD WHITE BITCH standing there giving the front desk clerk Hell about something. She turns and looks at me with this look of horror on her face. I give that OLD WHITE BITCH my best, "what the fuck you looking at" look and proceed behind the front desk. All of a sudden the OLD WHITE BITCH screams with that same look of horror on her face, "what is he doing behind there?"

Now, I give you the reason why I am pissed at myself. I didn't go off on the OLD WHITE BITCH. It actually didn't register in my mind that I had been "crashed." Then about a minute later that shit hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt the hairs on my arms stand up and my blood pressure rise. By this time, she had left the front desk. I felt like I had missed my chance to get a white BITCH told. So, I did what any disrespected black gay man would do: I went looking for her ass. I walked the whole hotel trying to find her dumb ass. Much to her luck, I didn't find her. I really don't know what I would have done if I had found her. I would probably be posting this blog from the Bowling Green, KY jailhouse and looking for a new job.

Now, I have been the victim of racial prejudice before, but never right to my damn face. This shit unnerved me to the point that I want to beat somebody's ass. If I ever see that OLD WHITE BITCH again, it's on. And because of her, the next OLD WHITE BITCH is gonna get it right there on the spot. Sometimes, I really HATE white people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Mama Always Said

My Mom died on September 27th, 2001 from a short, hard battle with lung cancer. To say that I miss her would be an understatement and I think about her everyday. I realized long ago that she was more than just my mother. She was my teacher was well. I learned most of what I know about life and people from her. Although she wasn't perfect, she was the perfect mother for me. So this post is to share some of the sayings that she use to recite that have helped me in my life.

"If people spent 12 hours of the day minding their own business, and the other half leaving other people's alone, the world would be a better place"

So true-why can't people mind their own damn business. Let me do me and I will mos def let you do you.

"What you eat don't make me shit"

Sounds kinda gross, but makes plenty of sense. Kinda goes with the quote above. The things that you do to yourself will affect you, not me.

"Man does not have a heaven or hell to put me in"

This quote is what helped me to re-establish my relationship with the higher power. I had to learn that my faith is not based on the beliefs of other people, but on what I believe.

"If the dog would not have stopped to shit, he would have caught the rabbit"

I basically means that the word "if" doesn't mean shit when talking about the past. You can't change the past and you can't say what would have happened "if."

"A hit dog is gonna holla"

If you strike a nerve with someone, they will say or do something that will let you know it.

"Either shit or get off the pot"

In short order, don't waste my damn time while wasting yours.

And my favorite of all time that is certainly self-explanatory!

"Men are like tires. You should always have a spare!"

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Don't Ask Me That

So I have been dating The Best for about a month now. Well, to say that it's been smooth would be a bold-faced lie. I have had more arguments with this man than I ever have with anyone else in such a short period of time. I sensed a problem from the beginning, so I held out on having sex with him. The Best bragged several hundred times about how good his sexual skills were. I kept telling him that he would have to prove it, cause words don't mean shit to me.

Thursday night I gave The Best a chance to prove put his sex where all his talk was. I will tel you the truth as I will only tell the truth on this blog. He did not live up to his name. The sex was just OK. That's it. Just OK.

Hours later after he left, I was on the phone with Beat Mug (my best friend) just talking about random shit that we always do. And my phone beeps. It's . So I tell Beat Mug that I will call him back and continue the convo with The Best.

That Dude Right There: Wassup with you kid?
The Best: Chillin. What you doing?
That Dude Right There: On the phone with Beat Mug.
The Best: Did you tell him about us having sex? (Of course I had, only when it's not great)
That Dude Right There:No.
The Best: Why not? (And I take the phone from my ear and look at it)
That Dude Right There: I didn't know that I had to.
The Best: Can I ask you something? (I knew what he was gonna ask)
That Dude Right There: Yeah, go ahead
The Best: Was the sex we had the best you ever had? I know it was.

Now reader(s), I got to ask you a question. Why do brothas ask this question? I always try to tell the truth when people ask me questions. But on this question, I try to plead the fifth.

That Dude Right There:I'm not gonna answer that question.
The Best: Why not?
That Dude Right There: Because niggas can't handle the truth when you tell it to them AND i
don't want to start an argument. If I say "no" then you gonna start
start with a barrage of questions. If I say yeah, then yo head is gonna
inflate. I don't contribute to head swelling
That Dude Right There: Nigga don't fucking yell at me! No, yo shit was not the best that I ever
had. Now is yo conceited ass satisfied?
The Best: Fuck you!
That Dude Right There: Not again! I need to enroll yo ass in a fucking and sucking class. I told
you to stop bragging. I knew I shoulda kept my ass on lock.
The Best: I'm sorry baby, I ain't mean to yell.
That Dude Right There: Yeah.
The Best: So, what was bad and what was good about it?
That Dude Right There: Can you not tell, that I don't wanna talk about it?
The Best: Well this is how I can tell if relationship can last?
That Dude Right There: So yo 35 year old ass bases the possiblity of a relationship on how good
or bad the sex is?
The Best: Yeah. I gotta see if we are compatible.
That Dude Right There: I gotta go pack my clothes. I'll call you later.
The Best: So it's like that, huh?
That Dude Right There: Bye. I'll talk to you later.Click!

Now fellas, I guess you can see that the moral of this story is to not ask somebody how good your sex skills are. Some people will lie and tell you what they think that you want to hear. Some, like me, will tell the truth and possibly hurt your feelings. I for one have never asked this question. When I'm fucking somebody, I look in his face and listen to him to guage his reactions. That tells me a lot about the enjoyment level. If the nigga ain't moving or making sounds, he probably ain't enjoying it! But I will never flat out ask a nigga.

Friday, July 22, 2005

This is Disturbing

This shit makes a brotha wanna just cry!!!!!!!!!!

July 21, 2005

IRAN EXECUTES 2 GAY TEENAGERSTwo gay Iranian teenagers -- one 18, the other believed to be 16 or 17, were executed this week for the "crime" of homosexuality, the Iranian Student News Agency (ISNA) reported on July 19. (The ISNA report is in Farsi, and was translated into English by the British gay rights group OutRage!, which released its report today--ISNA also provided the terrifying photos of the teens' last moments you see on this page.) The two youths -- identified only by their initials as M.A. and A.M., were hanged in Edalat (Justice) Square in the city of Mashhad in north-eastern Iran, on the orders of Court No. 19. The hanging of the teens was also reported by the National Council of Resistance of Iran. Consensual gay sex in any form is punishable by death in the Islamic Republic of Iran. According to the website Age of Consent, which monitors such laws around the world, in Iran "Homosexuality is illegal, those charged with love-making are given a choice of four deathstyles: being hanged, stoned, halved by a sword, or dropped from the highest perch. According to Article 152, if two men not related by blood are discovered naked under one cover without good reason, both will be punished at a judge's discretion. Gay teens (Article 144) are also punished at a judge's discretion. Rubbing one's penis between the thighs without penetration (tafheed) shall be punished by 100 lashes for each offender. This act, known to the English-speaking world as frottage,' is punishable by death if the 'offender' is a non-Muslim. If frottage is thrice repeated and penalty-lashes have failed to stop such repetitions, upon the fourth 'offense' both men will be put to death. According to Article 156, a person who repents and confesses his gay behavior prior to his identification by four witnesses, may be pardoned. Even kissing 'with lust' (Article 155) is forbidden. This bizarre law works to eliminate old Persian male-bonding customs, including common kissing and holding hands in public." And Outrage, in its release about the gay teens' execution, noted that, "according to Iranian human rights campaigners, over 4000 lesbians and gay men have been executed since the Ayatollahs seized power in 1979. Last August, a 16-year-old girl was hanged for 'acts incompatible with chastity.'"In the case of the two teens hanged in Mashhad, "They admitted having gay sex (probably under torture) but claimed in their defense that most young boys had sex with each other and tdhat they were not aware that homosexuality was punishable by death," according to the ISNA report as translated by Outrage. "Prior to their execution, the gay teenagers were held in prison for 14 months and severely beaten with 228 lashes. The length of their detention suggests that they committed the so-called offenses more than a year earlier, when they were possibly around the age of 16.""Ruhollah Rezazadeh, the lawyer of the younger of the two boys, had appealed that he was too young to be executed and that the court should take into account his tender age (believed to be 16 or 17). But the Supreme Court in Tehran Ordered him to be hanged."If you would like to protest the barbaric hanging of these two kids with same-sex hearts, while the U.S. has no diplomatic relations with Iran, there is an Iranian embassy in Canada.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Free, Single, and Disengaged

I want to introduce you all to FSD. Free, Single, and Disingaged. I don't have to call anyone. Dont have to wonder about where he is. Dont have to wonder about about what he is doing. Dont have to wonder about who he is with. I ain't got to think about anybody but me. But there is a difference in those three words.

Free-I may be dating someone but there are not expectations on the part of either party. I don't have to call you. I can go out with other people if I choose. I can have sex with anyone willing to do it with me. We can basically use each other to occupy time by going out on dates with each other.

Single-I may be seeing someone. We may have been seeing each other for a year or two. But, there is no commitment on either part. We may acknowledge that we are a couple, but there still has not been a commitment. We have totally separate lives. We don't share finances. We don't consult each other on life decisions. We don't know the other person's family.

Disengaged-I am not seeing anyone. I am not dating anyone. I ain't trying to be bothered because I am S.A.L.I. Single and Loving It. But notice that I didn't say anything about sexing somebody. A man has to get what he needs.

But I do have a confession. I'm single, and free, but not disengaged. I am dating someone. The same person that was the subject of "The Wonderful Letter X" post. I decided to give him another chance. "Why did you do that" some may ask. It's simple. I like him and do see potential in him. And he has agreed to get a mobile phone.

Sunday, July 17, 2005


CUTE. Don't we love this word and anything that can be described with it? Doesn't cute seem to be enough for you to do some shit that you don't regularly do? Well, not for me. As I find myself getting older, cute don't mean shit anymore. Now when I was a hot little <24 years old, cute would be enough for me to hold onto a guy no matter what dumb or bad shit he did. Now don't get me wrong, cute still attracts me to a dude. The only thing is that now, I find cute to wear off quickly when I get to know more about a person. Other, more concrete things start to matter.

When you first meet someone that you are attracted to, you are blinded and deafened by that attraction. You are blind to the things that they do and deaf to the things that they say. You can have hours long conversations with them, but the initial attraction blocks out everything that the person says. You can go out on a date, but not see that he is not paying you any attention. All you remember is that you talked on the phone for two hours and that you had a good time at the movies. But after a few weeks, or even a few days, your ears open and your eyes start to focus.

Now you pay attention to what the person says and does. "Damn, did he just call me girl ?" "Damn, he didn't call me this morning like he said that he would." You start to notice shit like this. So the question is: Now that time has passed and realize that this dude ain't making you smile anymore, is he still as CUTE as he was when you first met? Think about it!

Saturday, July 16, 2005

The Wonderful Letter X

Have you ever noticed that the letter "X" is used to refer to a person, when you don't want to use their name. Such as in: " I was talking to X the other day and..." Well, I use it for an entirely different reason and it has to do with my cell phone and x-pieces.

Here is why i'm telling this story. I have being communicating/trying to date/talking to this dude for the last month. We'll call him The Best because he thinks that his conceited ass is the best at everything. I met The Best on A4A and waited a good month to give him my number. I have seen him once during the whole time. Now, I travel frequently for my job and I am gone for 4-9 days at a time. So, it's difficult to date anyone. I told him this when we met, as I tell everyone. He said that he was cool with that because he traveled a lot also.

Well of course, the first few days we talked for hours and hours and we actually met and had a nice little dinner at this ghetto little Mexican Restaraunte in Lithonia. That was the last time that I have seen him, as I left the next day to for work. We talked everyday while I was gone. I told The Best that I would be home for 3 days and we made plans to see each other while I was home. Saturday evening when I got home, I called him. No answer. Mind you that The Best does not (so he says) have a cell phone. He calls me late that night and says that he was with his family. So we make plans for Sunday evening. I call him, and get a repeat of Saturday. The same thing happened on Monday and Tuesday. So Tuesday evening, I went on a date with someone else. At this point, i'm through with The Best. He called me 10 times while I was on my way to Charlotte for work.

That's where the X comes in. When I am through with someone and don't want to talk to him/her anymore, I just put an X in front of their name in my cell phone. That way, they call me and I see the X, I know not to answer. I do this because I have a habit of seeing a name, but not reading it and answering the phone. Then I have to either hang up on them or talk to the person just to be nice. The X makes me pay attention to the name on the display. This system has worked for me for a while. Maybe you all should try it!

Friday, July 15, 2005

50 Things About Me

Since I am new to the blogosphere, I figured that I would tell the world some facts about "That Dude Right There."

1. I am 27 years of age.
2. I am 6'2" in height.
3. I weigh 192 lbs (and on my way to 180).
4. I live in Decatur,GA (suburb of Atlanta).
5. I drive a 2001 Nissan Maxima.
6. I will own a Jaguar in a few months
7. I am both Black and Gay (you thought that was impossible didn't you)
8. Both my parents are deceased.
9. I love(d) my mother.
10. I hate(d) my father.
11. I have 5 brothers and 1 sister.
12. I was actually adopted.
13. I do know my birth parents and siblings.
14. I don't want to talk to my birth parents.
14. I hated my childhood.
15. I was sexually assaulted when I was six.
16. I had to go to counseling when I was in college because I was so fucked up in the head.
17. I am happier with my life now.
18. I have had 2 true committed relationships in my life.
19. The longer of the 2 was 2.5 years.
20. The shorter of the 2 was 1 year.
21. The longer one ended because he hit me and we got into a physical fight.
22. The shorter one ended because he lived in Chicago and I in Atlanta. (LONG Distance)
23. I enjoy being single.
24. Inspite of #23, I am currently dating someone.
25. My job makes it extremely difficult to date anyone.
26. I am not sure if I want to actually be dating someone.
27. I have been in love many times in my life.
28. I have loved only 4 people (romantically) in life.
29. I still love those 4 people.
30. I am still not over either of the relationships that I was in.
31. I lived with my lover for 1 year after we broke up cause we were to broke to break the lease.
32. I spent $2200 for plane tickets during the year that I was in a long distance relationship.
33. I think this shit is hard as hell to complete.
34. I hate my body.
35. I have started to workout to change #34.
36. Working out is actually enjoyable.
37. I started working out to lower my blood pressure.
38. My blood pressure was an average of 160/95 a month ago.
39. It is now down to 140/85 as of today.
40. People tell me that i have beautiful legs and thighs.
41. I don't see what they see.
42. I had really bad acne until two years ago.
43. The scars are finally starting to fade away.
44. I have lived in 6 cities in the last 9 years.
45. I have moved fro Birmingham to Chicago to Atlanta within six months.
46. I missed living in Atlanta so much that I just moved back in May from Chicago.
47. Now I miss Chicago (but not that high ass rent)
48. I am not overly masculine.
49. I am not overly feminine.
50. I am just me.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Here It Goes

Ok people, being introduced to Blogs back in January, I have decided to actually start my own blog. I have no idea what I am gonna write about other than the happenings in my life. And because I have to go to sleep now, you'll have to wait until tomorrow.