Monday, July 31, 2006

My New MEN

It's been a few months since I have dated anyone after ending things with VP. I said that I would take that time to figure out what it was that I really wanted: short term, long term, and permanently. I know that short term I just wanted someone to go out on dates with. Long term, I want a serious relationship. And permanently, I want a partner to live my life with.

But then I wised up and told myself that I don't have to plan everything and that I need to enjoy myself with the guys that I meet. And in the last 2 weeks, I have met 2 guys that I have enjoyed talking to. The only thing different about these 2 guys is that they are people that I normally would have not given the time of day.

Guy #1-He will be called Weed. Weed is about 5'8" tall and 140lbs. Not physically what I want. He smokes weed. He has no car. He does not have his own apartment or house. Normally, I would not have even entertained him. Not that I think that I am better or anything. It's just that those are things that I normally don't like in a man. But this Weed keeps me laughing and smiling whenever I talk to or am with him.

Guy#2 He will be called Taken. Taken is a true bisexual. By that I mean that he likes both men and women equally. How do I know that? He has a girlfriend! Yes, a girlfriend! But wait, there's more. He also has a 20 month old child with this girlfriend and they have been together for about 5 years. When he told me this, my first thought was to tell him to get out of my apartment. I guess he could sense the alarm in my face because he stopped me before I could say anything. Taken told me that she knows and has always known that he is bisexual. He also says that she knows that he actively dates men and is ok with that. Of course, I had this look of disbelief in my face, but he assures me that he is telling the truth. But if it's true, I can tell why she likes him. He seems to be the nicest and most sincere guy.

In the past, both of these dudes would have been kicked to the curb without a second thought. But this time, i'm putting aside all of the things that I see as issues and I am just gonna enjoy these fellas for what they can offer. I just realized that I may have, in the past, refused to date some guys that may have actually made me happy (at least temporarily). So this time, i'm just gonna have fun and let all of the bullshit go. Not that I am gonna be blind or stupid, just more open to something different than the norm.

I'll keep you all updated.

Friday, July 28, 2006

The Pursuit of Happiness

This is a movie that I will definitely have to go see when it comes to theaters.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Roommate Troubles

Back in January a friend of mine (Zulu) and I were talking and he mentioned that he might want a roommate when his lease expired. I had also considered the same thought. His motivation was to save money because he wanted to be able to buy another car. My motivation stemmed wanting to stop wasting money. I travel a lot and am never at home, so why not get a roommate to cut my cost.

Well in late May, we got an apartment together. When we moved in we agreed to a few things.

1. You and your guest would use your bathroom only.

2. I would not be responsible in any way for his dog.

3. All bills will be split in half and paid promptly.

4. The main living area would be kept spotless. This includes the Living/dining room and kitchen.

The first few days were fine. But then I came home one day and he was putting a deadbolt on his bathroom door. I asked him about it and he said that it was to keep people out of his bedroom when he wasn't there. He suggested that I do the same. I told him that I shouldn't have to do that. Then I just shook my head and walked off.

Well you would know that within one week, he broke one of the rules. One of his guest used my bathroom to take a dump. Mind you that my bathroom is in the hall. Zulu's is in his room. When I saw dude come out of my bathroom, I got mad as hell. Why the hell would he come out of Zulu's room to come down the hall to use mine? Of course when Zulu awakened, I mentioned this to him (in front of his company). He apologized and I think dude got the picture.

Then a few weeks ago, I came home from a trip and looked in my shower. There was a bar of soap there that I would never use (Irish Spring only for me). I mentioned this to Zulu and he said that he had to take a shower in by bathroom because his company was using his. I went off of course. Why the fuck couldn't he wait till his company was finished. After I finished cursing, he apologized and I let it go.

I came home last week and there was another bar of soap in my bathroom. This time on the sink. I called his ass at work and went off again. He swore that no one had been in my bathroom. When he got home, I showed him the evidence. The soap and the fact that my allergy medicine had been moved. He said that maybe the maintenance man had done it when he came in to fix the toilet. I asked him to tell me if stupid was printed on my T-shirt and told him to stay the fuck out of my bathroom.

I am putting a lock on my bathroom and bedroom doors when I get home tomorrow. That should solve that problem.

Now, the other problem is that he keeps locking me out of the house. We have 2 deadbolts. One that can be locked and unlocked from either side. And we have another that can only be operated from the inside. There have been six instances where he has locked the inside lock and locked me out. The first four times, I didn't say anything. But the 5th time, I went the fuck off and called him dumb a few times. He screamed back an excuse that he is use to living by himself. I told him that after a month and a half, he should be use to living with me. I also told him that I am gonna start locking his stupid ass out. But instead, I am gonna take the lock off the door. I don't give a fuck if he gets upset.

Then his televsion in the living room got struck by lightening. He tried to blame me because I was at home. I told him to take a look at all of my shit and notice that it's all connected to surge proteectors. That's what smart people do. And they have insurance. I am filing a claim on the television and may not give him anything.

I came home on Monday night and there was a brand new 42in wide screen television in the living room. I was taken aback. How the hell can he afford this but can't afford to get his car fixed? Now he has borrowed my car twice in the last month and a half. He can't drive his because his 1988 bucket needs a radiator. The next time he needs to borrow my car, i'll tell him to drive his television.

The phone bill and cable bill are in his name and he won't tell me how much they are. So guess what? I'm not paying either one of them until I see a bill. And I am not paying any late fees.

Now I know that it may sound like we don't get along, but we do. We hang out, have intelligent conversations, and even cook for each other. But it's just these things that he does that get on my nerves. I will sit and talk to him when I get home. I hope that this talk solves a few issues because I can't get out of this lease without paying $3000.

But now, I wish that I had stayed living alone. It was so much easier.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

My Love Style

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.
I think that this is true of me.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

"Even If It Is A Damn Lie"

I remember a scene in "Waiting To Exhale" after John leaves her, where Bernardine says that she wants her husband and her life back even if it is a damn lie. Tonight I felt what she felt.

I just wanted someone to tell me that they loved me. I wanted someone to hold me tight and let me hold them back. I wanted to feel some emotional and physical love. If it had happened, I probably would have cried. The strange thing about it is that I would not have cared who it came from. It could have come from an ex-boyfriend or a new date. I just wanted to feel it. Even if it was a damn lie.

Is love as powerful as we think, or do we give it that power?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I Know What It Is

I had one of those revelations yesterday. I have always wanted to have what I guess I can call a traditional life (if I can call it that since I am a homo). I want a spouse and 3 kids and the house and all of that Pleasantville stuff. I noticed that a lot of my friends just want the spouse and could care less about the other things. But I am different. I want that happy, settled life in the burbs. I want to cook dinner for my family. I want to pick up the kids from school. I want to maintain a household for my family.

I have always wondered why I want this for myself, and yesterday it hit me. I want a LOVING family life. Growing up, we had a family life, but there didn't seem to be a lot of love. There always seemed to be tension around our house. Always fights and arguments. And if I haven't mentioned it before, I hated my dad. And I wasn't too fond of my brothers and sister. My mother was the only one that I loved. And sometime I didn't think she loved me. I sometimes hated being there because I just never felt loved. Never.

So want I want is to have a family where love is expressed among its members. I want to make sure that my partner and children know that they are loved by me. I think that that is what would make me the happiest man in the world. Now I know that there is no guarantee that this will happen, but it's what I want.

Now if I could just find that husband first!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Tell Me Some Shit I Didn't Know

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 5.38




This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more
than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual


The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

Why do I take quizzes where I know the results beforehand?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I Thought That By Now

I thought that by now, I would be defending clients in a court of law,

I thought that by now, I would have a partner and some kids,

I thought that by now, I would be a homeowner,

I thought that by now, I would be financially secure,

I thought that by now, I would be completely out to my family,

I thought that by now, I would be making better decisions in life.

I thought that by now, I would have plenty of close friends to call when I needed them.

I thought that by now, I would be satisfied in all aspect of my life.

I thought wrong!

When I was in college I thought that my life would begin after I graduated and started my career. Well none of that has happened and I can only blame myself. So, to remedy this situation I am gonna just start over. I'm gonna forget all of the shit from the past and move on with the future. I'm gonna make some life decisions and stick to them. Don't know what i'm gonna do yet, but something has to be done because i'm not satisfied with life right now.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Club Observations

Last night I went out to Tower II where I hadn't been in a while. I don't know what made me want to go, but Thursday I just had this overwhelming feeling to go to a club. And Tower II was my choice. The club isn't big enough to cuss a cat, but I always have a good time there. And guess what? I only had one beer. The only other thing that I drank was water because it was unusually hot in there.

The one thing that I noticed last night, was that Atlanta has some sexy ass men. Mascline or feminine, slim or large, dark and light and in between, tall and short. I know the city is criticized as a sex haven, but last night I realized why. Some of these men can just make a munk break his vow of celibacy! Lord, Jesus, Mary, and Joesph these men are sexy.

But one question that I want to ask to all is this. What do you do when you see someone checking you out? I know that I freeze the fuck up. It's like if the brotha doesn't say something to me, I don't say anything to him. The last thing I want to do is get my face cracked by approaching someone that was looking at someone else.

Another question that I want to ask comes to mind. If you are checking people out and not saying anything, are people doing the same to you?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Nothing New

Hey blogger readers. I haven't put up a real post lately because there has been nothing to blog about. I don't really have anything on my mind and nothing new is going on in my life. But, I guess that's a good thing.

Well, I guess that I can tell you that I am gonna put myself back on the dating market. But that's about it.

Wait Wait Wait! I have got to tell you all what happened in the airport. Not a lot of people know it, but I am a freak about washing my hands. If I can't wash my hands after a restroom break, I swear that I will hyperventilate. Today at O'hare airport, I went into the bathroom to contribute to water recycling. When I went to wash my hands, a short little white man came in and stood at the urinal and started diggin in his pants (I guess to find his dick?) . While he was pissing, he then began to dig his underwear out of his ass. He also took a loud fart while standing there. When he was finished, he zipped up and began to walk out of the door. Before I knew it, I had yelled out "WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!" I scared the poor man so bad that he ran back in and washed his hands like a startled little child. A heard a couple of people laugh to themselves. But they went straight to wash their hands!

Maybe there should be a Hand Wash Guard in every public restroom.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Latest Scam


Emergency message I don't how many of you shop at Sam's Club or Costco, but this may beuseful to know. I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me and it could happen to you!!

Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 30 year-old, well-built guys come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both are shirtless and start wiping your windshield with a rag andWindex, with their highly-defined chest muscles and rock-hard absexposed. It's impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Sam's Club or Costco. You agree and they get in the back seat.

On the way, they start talking dirty about what they want to do to you. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and begins kissing your neck and begs you to pullover so he can make love to you!! While this is going on the other guy steals your cash!!

I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, againon Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely tomorrow.

I'm running out of cash....

Sunday, July 09, 2006

The Woes of Travel

I had a disastrous travel day yesterday which has put me a day behind at my hotel opening in Jamestown, NY. It all started when Screwnited (United) Airlines left Atlanta 45 minutes behind schedule at 6:45am. This caused me to miss my connecting flight to Buffalo in Dulles which left at 8:15am. I did not arrive at Dulles until 8:00am. I had no choice but to sit and wait for 4 hours for the next flight. I called the hotel and told them that we would have to delay testing about 3 hours until 4pm. So I say my upset ass down and tried to take a nap. That was impossible because of the noise and those uncomfortable ass seats.

The next flight was scheduled to leave Dulles at 12:30pm. If you have ever been to Dulles, then you know how the PA system works. Everyone can talk on it at the same time. There were about 6 flights boarding at the same time and all of the agents were jockeying to speak. Well, our Buffalo agent made an announcement that we were not ready to board at the scheduled time of 12:10pm. The next thing that I know, she is calling my name and the name of 2 more passengers for last boarding call at 12:20pm. We run up to the gate and hand her our boarding passes and she denies us boarding because we are late. This, even though we were standing in front of her before she finished the announcement. I found myself snapping at this woman and about to pull a Madea on her ass. But then I thought about the consequences of doing that. I did not want to go to jail in DC for assault.

I asked to speak with a supervisor. This little Asian lady comes up and I asked her about the boarding anD annoucement process and why there was only 1 announcement for last call. I noticed that the other agents made multiple "last call" announcements . She says that the agent started boarding at 12:10. I argued with her that thats when she made the "not ready" announcement. It then clicked in my mind that she really didn't care and it would be futile to argue with the hag. But I made a promise not to fly on Screwnited airlines again. Needless to say, I had to sit in the airport for another 4 hours. I did not arrive to the property until 8:30pm.

This means that I will have to do all of the work that I was supposed to do on Saturday on Sunday, plus get all of Sunday's work done. It's gonna be a long day.

But one thing that I did note was that I am not upset as I would have been years ago. No one got cursed out or their feelings hurt. I guess I AM maturing or getting old and mello. Whichever it is, it feels good not to be upset about something like this.

But here is a list of what the airlines name should be. See if you can make them out.

Screwnited Airlines
Hellta Airlines
SouthWorst Airlines
ScareTran or AirTrash
NorthWorst Airlines
UnAmerican Airlines
US Assways
Jet Screw Airlines
FuckUnental Airlines
America Worst

Friday, July 07, 2006

7/7/06 Random

1.) It's been almost four months since I have last had any sexual contact with a man. I want to wait until I am seeing someone that I actually care about before I have sex again. But when has that ever guaranteed that something will last. I need sex!!!!!!!! I think that I will give in within the next month.

2.) Why the hell can't I get VP out of my mind. I honestly am still hoping that he calls me someday. I don't know what the hell that man did to me.

3.) I'm still loving my car.

4.) I'm still broke. Just can't save and at this point don't care!

5.) I want to move out of this apartment. We have maintenance issue after issue. I knew I should have stayed where the hell I was.

6.) Why did I just find out today that I have to leave in the morning for a trip to Jamestown, NY. Who the hell wants to open a hotel in Jamestown, NY.

7.) I met a guy that seems to be really nice, but for some reason, I am not feeling him at all. I'll tell him tomorrow. I hope he takes it well.

8.) I started using Retin-A Micro and my skin is clearing up very quickly. But for $90 an ounce, it better work quickly!

9.) I finally got my satellite connected. Now I can watch HGTV all damn day if I want to!

10.) Did I mention that it's been almost 4 months since I last had sex. Somebody's son is gonna be in for a rough ride pretty soon!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

My Weekend

While I was in Phoenix last week, Dreads (my ex) called and asked me to help him drive to Dallas to return a car that he bought there a few months ago. The dealer had mislead him into thinking that the car was in excellent shape. I love to drive and hadn't been on a road trip in quite a while, so I agreed to go.

So when I landed at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, I had to go pick up his car from his boyfriend (Dreads had been letting him drive it) and drive to Tuscaloosa where he lived. Well, the boyfriend wasn't where he was supposed to be, putting my behind on leaving on schedule. Dreads called him several times and he never answered. Finally, 2 hours later, Dreads caught up with him and he left the car at a friends house and I picked it up. I don't think that he wanted to give the car up. I picked up the car and headed to Tuscaloosa where I arrived around 1am. I slept for about 2 hours and we hit the road.

It was a pleasant drive, but I had to keep stopping because my blood pressure medication keeps me running to the bathroom to piss. But other than that, there were no cops on the road and I even won $7 on a scratch off ticket in Louisiana. We finally made it to Dallas about 1:30pm. That was a long ass drive.

We went straight to the dealership to return the car and you know some drama had to go down. Dreads and the dealer had already decided on a figure that the dealer would pay for the car. But Dreads wanted to be reimbursed for travel expenses and repairs that he had made to the car. The dealer was not gonna budge because they had already discussed a dollar amount. But the dealer also wanted Dreads to give him an "excellent rating" on the online survey from EBAY. So they argued over those two issues for about 5 minutes. After that, I had had enough of them and snapped on both of them. I told Dreads that according to Texas law, he had entered an oral agreement only for payment for the car, not any other expenses. And I told the dealer that he could not compel Dreads to give him an excellent rating because it also was not a part of the oral agreement. I told him to sign the damn check so that we could get the hell out of there before I pulled a "Madea" on both of them. He signed the check and we left to go check into the hotel. When we got in the car, Dreads was bitching about not getting more for the car than he got. I simply told him to shut the fuck up because he should not have agreed to the price if it wasn't what he wanted.

After checking into the hotel, we headed to the Galleria mall to do a little shopping. Well actually, Dreads did some shopping, I was just there to look. But what I did notice were that there were a lot of "kids" shopping that day. There was eye candy for days. I started to call and make some U-Haul reservations. Dreads went on a mini shopping spree and spent a few hundred dollars that he knew he was gonna feel guily about later (and he did). He did get some nice shit though because every store seemed to be having a sale. I spent only $35. After we left the mall we went back to the hotel to get some rest cause a brotha was tired as hell.

When we got to the hotel, we were trying to find out a club to crash for the evening. Of course no one I called knew of anything. So we got A4A and chatted with a few people in Dallas. Withing minutes, we had the names and addresses of about 4 clubs. We decided to go to Da Brick since it had gotten the most attention online. But as a backup plan, I decided to get directions to Ninfas. And as a backup plan for the backup plan, I got directions to Elm and Pearl. I would not be denied a good time.

So we hit up Da Brick first with plans to leave if it was lame. And it was! I swear that it was the most ghetto club that I had ever seen. When I walked in, the first thing that I noticed was they were playing hood music that even I had never heard off. Second, I saw a drag queen with a Busted Can of Biscuits. Third, the drinks were cheap for a reason, they were week as hell. And on top of that, the bartender was only wearing a pair of Froot of the Looms (he needed a bra also). After that, it was time TO GO!

We headed over to Ninfas and walked in having a good time. Dudes were flirting left and right and the drinks were tight. The music was current and relevant, and I did something that I have not done in years. I danced until I was sweating! When the DJ played "Deja Vu" I knocked some foks down getting to the floor. Then he played "Snap Yo Fingaz' and "Getting Some," it was on and poppin. I danced with Dreads for about 30 minutes. There was this sexy little dude trying to get all up on my booty, but I wasn't having that. I am not a hoochie. After talking to a few dudes, dancing, and drinking we were ready to go since we were gonna leave at 9am. So we left for the hotel.

The next morning we got up and drove back to Atlanta, GA. All in all, I had a good time my 20 hours in Dallas. And it was nice to travel when it wasn't for work. I might have to visit "Big D" again in the future.

Get Together

After reading this, that, and the other, I honestly started wondering why bloggers in other cities aren't as close as the people in NYC metro area. It seems that they all know each other and hang out all of the time. I keep wondering why bloggers in other cities don't meet each other and hang out.

I would love to meet some of the people in the Atlanta metro area. So far in Atlanta, I have only met Mashaun who has come to be a really good friend (and he knows all the good places to eat). But honestly, I would like to meet some more of the people who write the blogs that I read. I have had the chance to meet Trent, E, and Anthony. But then again, none of them live in Atlanta.

But I also wonder if people like retaining that little bit of mystery by knowing the readers of their blogs. I don't know. I just wonder.