Thursday, July 20, 2006

I Know What It Is

I had one of those revelations yesterday. I have always wanted to have what I guess I can call a traditional life (if I can call it that since I am a homo). I want a spouse and 3 kids and the house and all of that Pleasantville stuff. I noticed that a lot of my friends just want the spouse and could care less about the other things. But I am different. I want that happy, settled life in the burbs. I want to cook dinner for my family. I want to pick up the kids from school. I want to maintain a household for my family.

I have always wondered why I want this for myself, and yesterday it hit me. I want a LOVING family life. Growing up, we had a family life, but there didn't seem to be a lot of love. There always seemed to be tension around our house. Always fights and arguments. And if I haven't mentioned it before, I hated my dad. And I wasn't too fond of my brothers and sister. My mother was the only one that I loved. And sometime I didn't think she loved me. I sometimes hated being there because I just never felt loved. Never.

So want I want is to have a family where love is expressed among its members. I want to make sure that my partner and children know that they are loved by me. I think that that is what would make me the happiest man in the world. Now I know that there is no guarantee that this will happen, but it's what I want.

Now if I could just find that husband first!

11 Comments:

Blogger Clay said...

i know people who have that "life" and they realize that it is was all a romantic fantasy ... i think we sometimes get caught up in the fantasy of other lives that we forget to work on our own and create our own world. however, i do feel what you are saying ...

2:02 AM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Ladynay said...

Meanwhile, have you found non blood family that will tide you over till you get what you want?

6:39 AM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger antneya said...

ahhhh hello!...lol

8:51 AM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger The Captain said...

Partner? wow....

9:03 AM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger E said...

Finding that husband is the most challenging part...:-)

I think I too would love to have the husband and 2.5 kids someday.

9:30 AM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Ty said...

I don't know about the kids but I am with you on just about everything else. I would like a partner that we share love, a house, joint credit cards (not one being used but both contributing), and enjoying this thing called life. If this is your dream, hold on to it, work towards it and who knows.

12:17 PM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Z said...

That's interesting. Would you be willing to go at it alone? Just you and the kids?

12:39 PM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

@Ty- Children are a must have for me. If a guy says that he doesn't want kids, we couldn't even date.

@Z-I'm not gonna sit and wait on a partner. I have told myself that when I am ready, I will adopt. Partner or none.

5:42 PM, July 21, 2006  
Blogger Trent Jackson said...

Thank you for saying this for everyone.
You don't know how long I've been trying to say this in my chaotic world...

12:22 AM, July 23, 2006  
Blogger That Girl said...

Ah man

1:03 AM, July 23, 2006  
Blogger Walter "Kimora Lee" White said...

There's a lot involved in all you want, so be careful what you wish for. Those kids are expensive and you'll have to scramble to find someone to watch them when you want to go out.

I grew up wanting all those things but now that I am older and my life has turned into directions that I never even imagined, I now have a more practical and realistic view on it. I don't want kids, I don't want a house in the burbs....I hate the burbs. I don't want a white picket fence, because it has to be painted...and I ain't painting.

9:19 AM, August 28, 2006  

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