My New MEN
It's been a few months since I have dated anyone after ending things with VP. I said that I would take that time to figure out what it was that I really wanted: short term, long term, and permanently. I know that short term I just wanted someone to go out on dates with. Long term, I want a serious relationship. And permanently, I want a partner to live my life with.
But then I wised up and told myself that I don't have to plan everything and that I need to enjoy myself with the guys that I meet. And in the last 2 weeks, I have met 2 guys that I have enjoyed talking to. The only thing different about these 2 guys is that they are people that I normally would have not given the time of day.
Guy #1-He will be called Weed. Weed is about 5'8" tall and 140lbs. Not physically what I want. He smokes weed. He has no car. He does not have his own apartment or house. Normally, I would not have even entertained him. Not that I think that I am better or anything. It's just that those are things that I normally don't like in a man. But this Weed keeps me laughing and smiling whenever I talk to or am with him.
Guy#2 He will be called Taken. Taken is a true bisexual. By that I mean that he likes both men and women equally. How do I know that? He has a girlfriend! Yes, a girlfriend! But wait, there's more. He also has a 20 month old child with this girlfriend and they have been together for about 5 years. When he told me this, my first thought was to tell him to get out of my apartment. I guess he could sense the alarm in my face because he stopped me before I could say anything. Taken told me that she knows and has always known that he is bisexual. He also says that she knows that he actively dates men and is ok with that. Of course, I had this look of disbelief in my face, but he assures me that he is telling the truth. But if it's true, I can tell why she likes him. He seems to be the nicest and most sincere guy.
In the past, both of these dudes would have been kicked to the curb without a second thought. But this time, i'm putting aside all of the things that I see as issues and I am just gonna enjoy these fellas for what they can offer. I just realized that I may have, in the past, refused to date some guys that may have actually made me happy (at least temporarily). So this time, i'm just gonna have fun and let all of the bullshit go. Not that I am gonna be blind or stupid, just more open to something different than the norm.
I'll keep you all updated.
But then I wised up and told myself that I don't have to plan everything and that I need to enjoy myself with the guys that I meet. And in the last 2 weeks, I have met 2 guys that I have enjoyed talking to. The only thing different about these 2 guys is that they are people that I normally would have not given the time of day.
Guy #1-He will be called Weed. Weed is about 5'8" tall and 140lbs. Not physically what I want. He smokes weed. He has no car. He does not have his own apartment or house. Normally, I would not have even entertained him. Not that I think that I am better or anything. It's just that those are things that I normally don't like in a man. But this Weed keeps me laughing and smiling whenever I talk to or am with him.
Guy#2 He will be called Taken. Taken is a true bisexual. By that I mean that he likes both men and women equally. How do I know that? He has a girlfriend! Yes, a girlfriend! But wait, there's more. He also has a 20 month old child with this girlfriend and they have been together for about 5 years. When he told me this, my first thought was to tell him to get out of my apartment. I guess he could sense the alarm in my face because he stopped me before I could say anything. Taken told me that she knows and has always known that he is bisexual. He also says that she knows that he actively dates men and is ok with that. Of course, I had this look of disbelief in my face, but he assures me that he is telling the truth. But if it's true, I can tell why she likes him. He seems to be the nicest and most sincere guy.
In the past, both of these dudes would have been kicked to the curb without a second thought. But this time, i'm putting aside all of the things that I see as issues and I am just gonna enjoy these fellas for what they can offer. I just realized that I may have, in the past, refused to date some guys that may have actually made me happy (at least temporarily). So this time, i'm just gonna have fun and let all of the bullshit go. Not that I am gonna be blind or stupid, just more open to something different than the norm.
I'll keep you all updated.
posted by That Dude Right There at
7/31/2006 10:00:00 PM
11 Comments:
um ..ok, well have fun. I guess as long as its nothing serious it's all good.
Ummm this isn't what I expected from a TDRT post, but be careful in your explorations. Your grown, so do you!
@LJ-Neither situation will get serious and I have already explained and gotten agreement to and from both guys.
@LadyNay-I don't think that anyone expects this from me. But that's what I like about doing it. Everyone's eyes are wide as hell with that "what are you thinking" look.
@Captain-Nope I wouldn't. You are a Republican!
yo homie, you and i have talked about this, so you know my stance on it.
i am your friend, this is your life, right and choice and as long as you are okay and happy and enjoying yourself, then do what you must. live in the now!
i am excited for you. you are really enjoying them, it seems.
miss ya much!
Enjoying them is great...but guys like weed can sneak up on you...so be careful. I have this friend who dates this guy and when she first started she said the same thing...he has a lot of teh characteristics of weed. Now, I personally think she can do a lot better. She is a registered nurse, beautiful, great personality...etc, but now the guy is practically living with her and she really likes him...
Not sure what to say about taken...seems a little odd to me...and do you really want to entertain someone who has a whole separate life.
I've said it before, you and I are on the same page in life. I say just have fun. Take it as it comes. If they are fool of it, you will eventually see it and know how to move on. If it leads to something serious, don't let your preconceived ideas of a the "ideal man" keep you from exploring.
Let Go, Let Flow! I already gave u my two cents.
Well damn ! I think I need to follow in your footsteps and just relax and enjoy the moment when it comes to relationships. I have yet to be in a healthy one, and the men who have come into my life after my last LTR have been everything but consistent.
I don't think Weed or Taken are husband material, but if they make you smile I say have fun! Just try not to let your heart get involved.
So many things unveil themselves when you begin to look at people (and things) a different way. Things you probably wouldn't see if you didn't take a deeper look. Just enjoy yourself and think of it as something that's getting you closer to where you're supposed to be. And everything will flow from there. If nothing else, it's a life-learning experience.
Work it out Norris...and you had betta show up in DC soon!
Sometimes you do have to go with the flow. I've gone out with guys I normally wouldn't give a 2nd look to...and while it hasn't turned out to be positive, at least I can say I was open to the experience. Keep me posted.
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