Less Than, Greater Than, Equal To
In elementary school, we learned about the less than (<), greater than (>) and equal to signs and their functions. The less than function was used when one number has less value than the number that it is compared to. For instance, 6 being less than 7 would be signified by 6<7.>6. And lastly the equal sign was used when two numbers were of the same value. For instance, 6 has the same value as 6. This is signified by 6=6. But this is all expository information, so I will get to the point.
I was talking to linebacker about his preferences when having sex. As I have said before in earlier post, he says that he is a top and does not wish to be penetrated or perform oral sex on a man. I have also stated my thoughts and disdain for the "no oral sex" part of his being a top. The issue at hand here is his explanation of why he won't take a dick in his ass or his mouth. I asked him why he does not wish to be penetrated or perform fellatio. He told me that if he did either of the aforementioned actions that he would feel like "less of a man." Those were his actual words. I have heard other men utter this statement, but I have never had a man to say it to me. I didn't know how to react. I asked him, "well what do you think of me while you are penetrating me or I am giving you head?" He told me that he doesn't think that way of the men that he has sex with. Huh???????????
I have never understood this philosophy. How can you think that you are less of a man by being penetrated or giving head, but not think that of the person that you are having sex with? Does the fact that I like to be penetrated and give a little head mean that I < you? Hell no! I don't believe in degrees of manhood and I never will. Either you are a man or you are not. No man is greater than or less than any other man because of how he chooses to have sex with another man. I believe each man is = every other man.
I hate to say it, but as much as I like Linebacker, this issue may cause us to end what little we have begun to build. I cannot date a man that feels that I am less of a man than him. Unless he can better explain his point-of-view, he and I are gonna have to part ways.
Can I get some feeback on this issue?
I was talking to linebacker about his preferences when having sex. As I have said before in earlier post, he says that he is a top and does not wish to be penetrated or perform oral sex on a man. I have also stated my thoughts and disdain for the "no oral sex" part of his being a top. The issue at hand here is his explanation of why he won't take a dick in his ass or his mouth. I asked him why he does not wish to be penetrated or perform fellatio. He told me that if he did either of the aforementioned actions that he would feel like "less of a man." Those were his actual words. I have heard other men utter this statement, but I have never had a man to say it to me. I didn't know how to react. I asked him, "well what do you think of me while you are penetrating me or I am giving you head?" He told me that he doesn't think that way of the men that he has sex with. Huh???????????
I have never understood this philosophy. How can you think that you are less of a man by being penetrated or giving head, but not think that of the person that you are having sex with? Does the fact that I like to be penetrated and give a little head mean that I < you? Hell no! I don't believe in degrees of manhood and I never will. Either you are a man or you are not. No man is greater than or less than any other man because of how he chooses to have sex with another man. I believe each man is = every other man.
I hate to say it, but as much as I like Linebacker, this issue may cause us to end what little we have begun to build. I cannot date a man that feels that I am less of a man than him. Unless he can better explain his point-of-view, he and I are gonna have to part ways.
Can I get some feeback on this issue?
posted by That Dude Right There at
8/21/2005 10:19:00 PM
6 Comments:
Without knowing or speaking to him, I can only speculate of course. But it sounds like he's wrestling with society's (narrowly-drawn) definitions of manhood and masculinity. "Real men" (read: heterosexual) do this, while "lesser men" (read: homosexual) do that. He has yet to understand and accept that he was made this way by The Creator and his sexual desires are as normal as those of any man.
Yeah, he obviously has issues with his sexuality. I don't understand his agument either. Those are issues that will take awhile for him to work out ....if ever.
Continuing on the thread of the others, the key will be if you're willing to try and meet him halfway. Of course, he has to be willing to.
I hate to break the chain, but my thoughts are this: On a sexual level, if a man isn't willing to compromise and please you the way you want to be pleased, especially if you're "bending over backwards" for him, then maybe it's time to push the "pause" button because what else will he not be willing to compromise on?
Mr. That Dude,
Very interesting. I'll say this much (as you already have tons of advice), never date a man that isn't willing to at least perform oral sex on you...I have my reasons.
Coming Into Reality,
Jamal
I must agree with everyone else, if he is not willing to work to please you then, you do not need him. Find you a brother who is secure in who he is because his reasoning behind why he chooses not to is just not good enough.
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