I Think That I May Just...
...give up on dating (for a while) and settle for the occasional sex hook-up. Or maybe not.
Tuscany and I just didn't work out because we have opposing personalities and we were getting on each other's nerves. I had actually started to care for him, I knew I had to make that decision before we got serious. Plus he made a few contradictory statements. He kept telling me that he wasn't looking to get serious. On the other hand, he told a mutual friend of ours that he "hopes that God blesses our union and we can have a real relationship" (He doesn't know how to whisper). I was confused to say the least.
Then there was the issue with his ex-boyfriend. They had broken up in September after 4 years and I don't think that either of them was really ready to let go. So I decided to let him go to chase that dream. Oh well.
But my problem is that I don't want to go sexless. I have given up on one-night flings and hook-ups, but I like to have sex! Fuck that! I LOVE to have sex. But I've gotten to the point where I want to have romantic feelings for someone before I have sex with them. But since I don't really want to date anymore, what do I do?
Well, there are always those spare tires that I keep for emergencies. But none of them are all that reliable. I would want to have the same person available, not multiple dudes.
Then there's the internet hook-up sites. But it's just not safe to meet strangers for sex these days (as if it ever was). Plus I deleted those accounts.
So what do I do? Maybe I should just continue doing what I have been doing: NOTHING!!
Tuscany and I just didn't work out because we have opposing personalities and we were getting on each other's nerves. I had actually started to care for him, I knew I had to make that decision before we got serious. Plus he made a few contradictory statements. He kept telling me that he wasn't looking to get serious. On the other hand, he told a mutual friend of ours that he "hopes that God blesses our union and we can have a real relationship" (He doesn't know how to whisper). I was confused to say the least.
Then there was the issue with his ex-boyfriend. They had broken up in September after 4 years and I don't think that either of them was really ready to let go. So I decided to let him go to chase that dream. Oh well.
But my problem is that I don't want to go sexless. I have given up on one-night flings and hook-ups, but I like to have sex! Fuck that! I LOVE to have sex. But I've gotten to the point where I want to have romantic feelings for someone before I have sex with them. But since I don't really want to date anymore, what do I do?
Well, there are always those spare tires that I keep for emergencies. But none of them are all that reliable. I would want to have the same person available, not multiple dudes.
Then there's the internet hook-up sites. But it's just not safe to meet strangers for sex these days (as if it ever was). Plus I deleted those accounts.
So what do I do? Maybe I should just continue doing what I have been doing: NOTHING!!
Labels: Dating, Relationships, Sex
posted by That Dude Right There at
4/29/2009 10:52:00 PM
9 Comments:
I know exactly how you feel right now. I am on the verge of saying screw relationships and yes to hook ups but hook ups are too much to deal with. You have to make sure you are safe. Almost not worth it.
the age old question huh?
Good luck. I don't know to say other than do what you feel you need to do. You are stuck in a dilemna because you want something (sex) but you also have a need for other things (emotion and connection). Maybe you can find one good sex buddy to help you out until you make your decision. Keep it friendly but also hot... it is possible to have have a "meantime in between time."
You know, You might be playin below your league. You are a good man, a good friend. You deserve to be treated in a ROYAL manner. There are good men out here because you are one of them. Relax, have some fun and don't rush to get in a relationship because you are thinking that you are getting older. You are getting better. As long as you breathe you will get older. That is a blessing. You will know when it is right for you because your world will shake from his kiss....ENJOY.
Check this out my brotha, you have been dating these odd arse brothas long enough it is time you step your game up.
Sexless? There is no apparent reason why you must go sexless, but I understand that you are looking for the intimacy that should go along with the sex, I know exactly what you mean, you need to be connected, honest and care for one another, not just fuck just because.
I have been reading your blog for a minute and you seem to to have great qualities and a great personality, but you also appear to be reticent and reserved at times, let your guards down. Mister will find you and you will have that relationship you want and all the romance attached to it!
I saw...figure out what's most important and hold it together. If that emotional connection is becoming more important than hold off on sex and make the sacrifice. Nothing good comes without sacrifice. On the other hand, if sex is what's important (and there is nothing wrong with that) you may have to forgo the emotional connection. Things can develop eventually in both cases, but somethings got to give...
JB
humpf, no mention whatsoever of any gym...go figure
As sore as this subject is for me right now, why not do nothing? Its safer, you can't really disappoint yourself cause you know what you're gonna give yourself! I really don't know what else to say without puttin my foot in my mouth!
Have you ever consider a sex worker? Not being facetious at all...With a sex worker you can call a good agency and pay a few dollars just to scartch that itch. It might be better than just going for a random hook up.
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