It Takes Just One...
...person to redeem the indiscretions of others. Here's why I say that.
A few weeks ago, I headed to my physician's office for my annual checkup. As I walked into the building, a white woman who was maybe in her 50s saw me heading toward the elevator and tried to hit the "close door" button (she still had her finger on it when I got in). When I finally got into the elevator, she huddle herself in the corner like a frightened woodlands creature. I just looked at her, rolled my eyes and shook my head.
When the elevator stopped, I let her get off first as any Southern gentleman should do. When she stepped out of the elevator, she glanced over her shoulder as if to which way I was headed. I just stood behind her to give her time to get the hell out of my way. She turned left and so did I since that was where my doctor's office is. The entire length of the hallway, she kept glancing over her shoulder behind her and I just kept my distance. I also noticed that there were security cameras around. If this woman claimed that I had done something to her, I would have proof that I didn't. Then finally, out of no where she stopped, backed up against the wall and stayed there until I passed. I just walked on by shaking my head.
When I rounded the corner, she was still standing there against the wall. I stopped just to take a look back around that same corner and she had continued her walk toward my present direction. I continued on to my destination wondering why she was scared of me and wondering how I could have been so intimidating to her. Was she scared of men? I think not, since she was talking to the white man that got off before I got on. Was she scared of Black men? Probably so. But even though I was a little upset, I brushed it off as just another dumb ass white woman.
And this is how I know that God works magic when it needs to be worked.
After my visit, I headed back down the aforementioned hallway back to the elevator and saw that the door was closing. Suddenly the elevator door reopened and there was another white woman in probably in her 70s who was holding the "door open" button. On the short way down to the 1st floor, she asked me how my day was and I replied and and asked her the same. This short little interaction put a smile on my face and let me know that all white women aren't scared of us.
Each time something like this happens, it saddens me a little bit more that this still goes on. It happened again today except this time it was some gay white man grabbing his man purse when I walked toward his direction in Starbucks. It makes me wonder if I look that menacing and intimidating.
Do I need to soften my look and be sure to smile. But then I thought, why in the hell would I change myself to make others feel comfortable? I'm not the one with the problem, they are. And it's up to them to change themselves and their thinking.
A few weeks ago, I headed to my physician's office for my annual checkup. As I walked into the building, a white woman who was maybe in her 50s saw me heading toward the elevator and tried to hit the "close door" button (she still had her finger on it when I got in). When I finally got into the elevator, she huddle herself in the corner like a frightened woodlands creature. I just looked at her, rolled my eyes and shook my head.
When the elevator stopped, I let her get off first as any Southern gentleman should do. When she stepped out of the elevator, she glanced over her shoulder as if to which way I was headed. I just stood behind her to give her time to get the hell out of my way. She turned left and so did I since that was where my doctor's office is. The entire length of the hallway, she kept glancing over her shoulder behind her and I just kept my distance. I also noticed that there were security cameras around. If this woman claimed that I had done something to her, I would have proof that I didn't. Then finally, out of no where she stopped, backed up against the wall and stayed there until I passed. I just walked on by shaking my head.
When I rounded the corner, she was still standing there against the wall. I stopped just to take a look back around that same corner and she had continued her walk toward my present direction. I continued on to my destination wondering why she was scared of me and wondering how I could have been so intimidating to her. Was she scared of men? I think not, since she was talking to the white man that got off before I got on. Was she scared of Black men? Probably so. But even though I was a little upset, I brushed it off as just another dumb ass white woman.
And this is how I know that God works magic when it needs to be worked.
After my visit, I headed back down the aforementioned hallway back to the elevator and saw that the door was closing. Suddenly the elevator door reopened and there was another white woman in probably in her 70s who was holding the "door open" button. On the short way down to the 1st floor, she asked me how my day was and I replied and and asked her the same. This short little interaction put a smile on my face and let me know that all white women aren't scared of us.
Each time something like this happens, it saddens me a little bit more that this still goes on. It happened again today except this time it was some gay white man grabbing his man purse when I walked toward his direction in Starbucks. It makes me wonder if I look that menacing and intimidating.
Do I need to soften my look and be sure to smile. But then I thought, why in the hell would I change myself to make others feel comfortable? I'm not the one with the problem, they are. And it's up to them to change themselves and their thinking.
posted by That Dude Right There at
3/24/2009 10:45:00 AM
12 Comments:
Don't let these messed up ppl cause you to wonder. They have the problem
I probably would've run up on her ass! It's wonderful that you had a positive encounter before leaving the building. The Lord definitely works mysteriously (yes, I acknowledged the Lord after using a cuss word!).
That was a lovely story.
That is a sad reality that we all are often faced with. If only those white women would treat everyone with that same caution. I wonder if that type of prevention would curb those awful stats on crimes of that nature.
I agree with you, no matter what your appearance you will never be able to change everyone's preconceived idea of others. The problem is not yours to fix.
you hit the nail on the head...she was the problem NOT you!!!
Keep doing you...People are going to hate on you if you do everything right.
But the two white women were total opposite.
The second one could have been an angel in disguise. I like how you did not let the first one predict how you treated the second one.
Man, I feel you. This shyte happens to me every single day being that I work and live near white folks, not just the women some of the men are just as bad and not only white women act this way; good thing you do not utilize Metro the white women really act frighten on the Metro, they cringe when you sit next to them in fact I stand even if seats are available near them, I take the same route and walk paths each day and lawd the white women be looking like I am going to attact, now granted I am not that easy to look at, but I am no monster just tall and slightly over two hundred pounds, I dress well and I am well groomed and by no means threating. I blame the media and these damn fools that look like us for creating such a scare in white folk. Hell I am just as leary of white men as they are of me, they tend to snap without warning, hell you know a brotha is angry all the time, but white men grin then attack killin up everything. I think you handled yourself just fine, in fact you are true gentleman, but you should have gotten in front of her and reversed the actions, start watching her from the corner of your eye, and clutching your pocket like she was a common thief or mugger.
It is what I call the "Will Smith/Queen Latifah" complex. We are only truly accepted in mainstream white culture when we are not intimidating or threatening. Do you think that white America was feeling Queen Latifah when she was donning African garb and singing songs like "Ladies First" and "U.N.I.T.Y"? No, they did not feel her until she came out with a jazz album, promoted Cover Girl and peddled Pizza Hut to the masses.
You will never be able to change the thoughts or actions of the ignorant. Unfortunately, it is learned behavior.
Thank God we live in 2009. Could you imagine what a black man in Atlanta 50 years ago must have gone through? Can you imagine the rage he must have felt? At least you have the right to shake your head or speak your mind without having to worry about getting beat down or being accused of some violent act.
P.S.-- That woman was a mess for backing up to the wall. Maybe she thought it was going to protect her or something.
it's unfortunate that people still do these things. I've gotten to the point where if i see white people or anyone clinch their bags and backing in corners when they see me i tell them i'm not a thief i'm not going to rob you and you have nothing i want. I like for them to feel embarrassed and ashamed of their dumb actions. I hold them accountable for their actions.
It's just maddening to be in the year 2009 and have to deal with that type of lunacy. For real, i would've been scowling all day after that bitch went there with me.
Wow...it's amazing the contrasting scenarios that you went through. It may take just one person to piss you off but it also takes just one person to restore your faith in the human race.
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