I Think I'm Ready...
...to let someone into my romantic space. I'm not 100% sure that i'm ready to do this, but this dude has been pretty persistent in his quest to get my attention and he's finally gotten it. I'll call him Tuscany. I met Tuscany through a mutual friend of ours and thought that it was refreshing to NOT have to meet a guy online. We've been known each other since October and went on one date back then.
When I met Tuscany, it was by passive means. He told a mutual friend of mine that he thought that I was cute and the friend introduced us. At first, I was turned off because I don't like passive dudes. If you want to talk to me, then do it yourself. But since I was 100% single, I decided to just see what would happen. It turns out that I like the dude.
Initially I kind of ruled him out as a dating prospect because he isn't the usual type of dude that I would date. And what I mean by that is that he's kinda soft. And by soft, I don't mean feminine, I just mean soft. He's the kind of dude that would call AAA to change a tire instead of doing it himself because he doesn't know how. He's the type that would call his father or brother over to move a dresser or sofa. He's the type that would run from a bug instead of killing it. I've never liked men that can't do things for themselves and i've always dated guys who could do "manly" things like the ones mentioned above.
I've had my reservations about dating him because I have this issue with being more aggressive or assertive than the man that I date. I'm not saying that i'm more OF a man than him or anything like that. But I have always wanted a dude who was as or more assertive than me. I like a dude that's straight forward and says what's on his mind. And it seems like that's what most dudes want. But gay, Black men like that are in short supply. And even when I do find one, they don't want me for some reason or another. One guy told me that I was too "butch" for him and he wanted a small-framed, feminine dude. Well that isn't me in the least bit.
But as it goes, i'm liking this dude, so i'm giving it a chance. We've agreed to forget all the labels and titles and just "like" each other. And so far it seems to be working.
When I met Tuscany, it was by passive means. He told a mutual friend of mine that he thought that I was cute and the friend introduced us. At first, I was turned off because I don't like passive dudes. If you want to talk to me, then do it yourself. But since I was 100% single, I decided to just see what would happen. It turns out that I like the dude.
Initially I kind of ruled him out as a dating prospect because he isn't the usual type of dude that I would date. And what I mean by that is that he's kinda soft. And by soft, I don't mean feminine, I just mean soft. He's the kind of dude that would call AAA to change a tire instead of doing it himself because he doesn't know how. He's the type that would call his father or brother over to move a dresser or sofa. He's the type that would run from a bug instead of killing it. I've never liked men that can't do things for themselves and i've always dated guys who could do "manly" things like the ones mentioned above.
I've had my reservations about dating him because I have this issue with being more aggressive or assertive than the man that I date. I'm not saying that i'm more OF a man than him or anything like that. But I have always wanted a dude who was as or more assertive than me. I like a dude that's straight forward and says what's on his mind. And it seems like that's what most dudes want. But gay, Black men like that are in short supply. And even when I do find one, they don't want me for some reason or another. One guy told me that I was too "butch" for him and he wanted a small-framed, feminine dude. Well that isn't me in the least bit.
But as it goes, i'm liking this dude, so i'm giving it a chance. We've agreed to forget all the labels and titles and just "like" each other. And so far it seems to be working.
Labels: Dating, men, Relationships, Self-Assessment
posted by That Dude Right There at
3/03/2009 04:45:00 PM
5 Comments:
OMG! I am really pleased to hear that you may have found that special someone, kudos to you and the new beau.
So you found yourself a pretty boi? Too "soft" now that's smirky; has he lived a sheltered life,pampered life or just not into fixing, repairing or working on cars and so forth? Can't get his hands dirty. No I know what you meant, there are plenty of dudes that way.
Wishing you all the best man.
So does it make me soft ifI'm 1 out of 3 of those things. I mean I will kill a bug in second, and I usually don't want any help unless I absolutely need it when it comes to moving furniture... but hey my ass knows I can't change a tire and my tire is underneath my car...Hell yes I call AAA in a hot second. A brotha know when he got limitations, I think that makes me a smart man... perhaps soft, but still smart.
I'm glad you are giving it a chance. big ups on that.
By the way Happy Birthday, brotha we have all been there in the not celebrqating mood, you are though older than moi, so that makes me feel better, so just think about someone older than you,lol...maybe soft Tuscany can get you in the celebrating mood.
Whats good man? Oh yeah somebody has a birthday today and it's you! Happy Birthday my brotha, I certain hope that you have a splendid day, do 31 special things! Enjoy your special day.
I feel u on this one...Im attracted to guys that are masculine and can do things for themselves...who wants to rely on someone else to do something as simple as changing a tire, killin a bug, movin some furniture and so forth...but good luck wit ol boy..hope things work out for u
Personally, I won't kill bugs simply because I'm an animal lover. (lol) I'll pick up a cockroach and put it outside before I'd even consider crushing it. Now, I'll just get my raid can to some mosquitos and flies...lol.
Anyway, good on you for broadning your horizons. Hope it works out!
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