Dating Has Gotten...
...to a sad state; a really sad state.
I have known this dude for a few months and we actually tried to date, but it didn't work out. Well, he's being persistent in wanting to date (even though he still hasn't proposed a real one). Last week I chilled at his house and we watched "DL Chronicles" and drank some Coronas. Since we had a pretty good time, we decided to do it again tonight.
So I got showered, ironed my clothes and brushed my hair (that takes 7 minutes now). I was just getting ready to order a pizza online to pick up on the way when I got a text. It said "Look, an emergency just came up, they rushin my grand mother to grady (hospital), ill fill u in later Dnt know Whats wrong".
I sent one back that said "Aight, take care".
Now the sad part is that I honestly didn't know whether to believe him or not. Because this isn't the first time i've had a guy use an excuse to get out of a date (or some semblance of) before. In addition i've used excuses (lies really) before to get out of last minute dates.
It's a sad that things have come to this, but I made a decision. I'm not lying anymore to get out of anything. I'm just going to tell the damn truth. I know i'd be a little hurt to hear the truth, but i'd rather hear it than be told a lie.
So be it. That's my plan.
***I never found out if he was telling the truth or not. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt (if you think about that saying, it makes no sense) and let it go. I'm not going to hold this one against him.
I have known this dude for a few months and we actually tried to date, but it didn't work out. Well, he's being persistent in wanting to date (even though he still hasn't proposed a real one). Last week I chilled at his house and we watched "DL Chronicles" and drank some Coronas. Since we had a pretty good time, we decided to do it again tonight.
So I got showered, ironed my clothes and brushed my hair (that takes 7 minutes now). I was just getting ready to order a pizza online to pick up on the way when I got a text. It said "Look, an emergency just came up, they rushin my grand mother to grady (hospital), ill fill u in later Dnt know Whats wrong".
I sent one back that said "Aight, take care".
Now the sad part is that I honestly didn't know whether to believe him or not. Because this isn't the first time i've had a guy use an excuse to get out of a date (or some semblance of) before. In addition i've used excuses (lies really) before to get out of last minute dates.
It's a sad that things have come to this, but I made a decision. I'm not lying anymore to get out of anything. I'm just going to tell the damn truth. I know i'd be a little hurt to hear the truth, but i'd rather hear it than be told a lie.
So be it. That's my plan.
***I never found out if he was telling the truth or not. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt (if you think about that saying, it makes no sense) and let it go. I'm not going to hold this one against him.
Labels: Dating, men, Relationships
posted by That Dude Right There at
2/05/2009 08:53:00 PM
13 Comments:
I am also going to adopt this new method. Though it will indeed cause some pain, my conscience will be clear, and they eventually can't be too upset as they were told the truth.
Be honest with thy self first and the rest will fall in order. Sometimes our lives get out of order. We start acting and thinking like those that have been dishonest with us. We need a reset. We have to live with ourselves so being honest and telling the truth regardless of feelings will help us to sleep at night.
Yeah, tell the truth, so I can decide to continue to mess w/ u. Don't deceive me!
I've never been a good liar so it has always behooved me to tell the truth. Besides, I'm grown. If I don't want to do it, then I don't have to and don't have to make excuses for it.
Have you had a chance to follow up with him?
I had to cancel a date at the last minute. Had a hangover from the night before but I don't think he believed me.
Yes, the truth is always the best. I think you're doing the right thing.
dang, maybe the man is telling the truth??? i'm interested. fill us in.
I agree. Tell the truth now and you will never have to remember the lie you told.
The truth is always best, make no excuses and accept nothing, but the truth from others and you will know if they are giving you the truth.
Your heart is really good because the old me would have met his arse at Grady Hospital and although I may not have approached him out of privacy and respect for he and his family, (if he was actually present) I would have texted his arse and asked him to step out into the lobby so that I could let him know that I am here if he needs me, now if he couldn't meet me in the lobby then you know a brotha aint right and that he told a none truth.
Dating really sucks I agree I have totally given it up; no more mind games for this brotha.
I should hope he was telling the truth. To use one's grandmother as an excuse would be LOW and WRONG on several levels!
I think that your adopted attitude is a good one. I have made up reasons for not doing this or that in the past, but think that just telling it like it is really relieves the stress off the situation. Good for you.
I think you're doing the best thing by taking him at his word. Unless he's given you a reason to disbelieve him, that is.
We still need to talk, btw.
Yeah the truth definitely will set you free. I like your philosophy. I admit that I have lied in the past to get out of dates (though nothing as dire as a relative going to emergency). But hopefully dude was telling the truth. Guess time will tell.
Well what happened between you two?
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