I've Had My Share...
...of sex over the years. And now I want to just ramble on about it. It's just been on my mind lately that I have had a lot of sex over the years and now I feel kinda slutty about it. Luckily i'm still untainted and healthy.
I think that I had the most sexual partners during the years of 2005 and 2006. I was a true sexual being. During those 2 years, I think that I had about 20 different sexual partners. To some that may seem like a lot and to others that may seem like not too many. During those 2 years, I was completely single and free to do what I wanted. I just felt like I could do what I whatever, whenever, and whoever I wanted. Although I always used condoms, I was scared each time I took an HIV test or and STD screening. Well, I have slowed down in my old age. I still have sex every now and then, but not as frequently or with as many people.
Now this year, I have added to the number of sexual partners, but not in the number that I did in previous years. I guess it's because I actually want to date someone. I want to wait to have sex until I actually know someone before I have sex. I don't want my first memory of being with someone to be of us moving furniture and putting holes in the wall. I would so much rather have a first memory of a real date. But brothas don't seem to know what a date is anymore.
I still have had a few hookups recently, but I have a rule in place. If I meet a dude and all he wants is sex, then that's all he gets. After we hookup, I don't want to see him again. There will be no dating after a sexual hookup. NONE! Then there are the brothas that like to tell you what they think you want to hear so that they can get in your pants. They tell you that they want to to date or even get serious one day. But their intention is to have sex as soon as they can. I can smell these brothas a mile away. Sometimes, like Monday night, I go ahead and have sex with them. Most times, I just tell them that they aren't getting any and get as far away from them as possible. But I've made a decision that i'm going to have to stick with.
I've decided to abstain from sex. I've said this to myself several times and haven't stuck to it. But there have been 2 times in my life where I did abstain for 6 months or more. It wasn't fun, but I was assured that I wasn't going to catch an STD or HIV. This time i'm older, wiser, and a lot more patient. I can do it this time.
The reason that I'm abstaining is that I:
1. Don't want to catch an STD or HIV. No explanation needed.
2. I want to actually feel something for the next person I have sex with other than lust.
3. Casual sex has just gotten boring. I used to hookup because I liked sex and having sex made me feel wanted. But that shit has gotten old.
4. Did I say that I wanted to remain HIV and STD free.
So, i'm going to just hold out on sex until i'm seriously dating someone. There will be no more first night sex. No more sleepovers soon after or the day we meet. No more sex or any kind, oral, anal or foreplay after January 1, 2009. NONE!!!
I'm going to break out the ring that Jaila gave me last year and wear it on my hand instead of on my necklace. When I get tempted i'll show it to the tempter and let him know of my plan. The quickest way to run a brotha off is to let him know that your abstaining from sex until a you have a committment.
Let's see what happens!!!!
I think that I had the most sexual partners during the years of 2005 and 2006. I was a true sexual being. During those 2 years, I think that I had about 20 different sexual partners. To some that may seem like a lot and to others that may seem like not too many. During those 2 years, I was completely single and free to do what I wanted. I just felt like I could do what I whatever, whenever, and whoever I wanted. Although I always used condoms, I was scared each time I took an HIV test or and STD screening. Well, I have slowed down in my old age. I still have sex every now and then, but not as frequently or with as many people.
Now this year, I have added to the number of sexual partners, but not in the number that I did in previous years. I guess it's because I actually want to date someone. I want to wait to have sex until I actually know someone before I have sex. I don't want my first memory of being with someone to be of us moving furniture and putting holes in the wall. I would so much rather have a first memory of a real date. But brothas don't seem to know what a date is anymore.
I still have had a few hookups recently, but I have a rule in place. If I meet a dude and all he wants is sex, then that's all he gets. After we hookup, I don't want to see him again. There will be no dating after a sexual hookup. NONE! Then there are the brothas that like to tell you what they think you want to hear so that they can get in your pants. They tell you that they want to to date or even get serious one day. But their intention is to have sex as soon as they can. I can smell these brothas a mile away. Sometimes, like Monday night, I go ahead and have sex with them. Most times, I just tell them that they aren't getting any and get as far away from them as possible. But I've made a decision that i'm going to have to stick with.
I've decided to abstain from sex. I've said this to myself several times and haven't stuck to it. But there have been 2 times in my life where I did abstain for 6 months or more. It wasn't fun, but I was assured that I wasn't going to catch an STD or HIV. This time i'm older, wiser, and a lot more patient. I can do it this time.
The reason that I'm abstaining is that I:
1. Don't want to catch an STD or HIV. No explanation needed.
2. I want to actually feel something for the next person I have sex with other than lust.
3. Casual sex has just gotten boring. I used to hookup because I liked sex and having sex made me feel wanted. But that shit has gotten old.
4. Did I say that I wanted to remain HIV and STD free.
So, i'm going to just hold out on sex until i'm seriously dating someone. There will be no more first night sex. No more sleepovers soon after or the day we meet. No more sex or any kind, oral, anal or foreplay after January 1, 2009. NONE!!!
I'm going to break out the ring that Jaila gave me last year and wear it on my hand instead of on my necklace. When I get tempted i'll show it to the tempter and let him know of my plan. The quickest way to run a brotha off is to let him know that your abstaining from sex until a you have a committment.
Let's see what happens!!!!
posted by That Dude Right There at
12/24/2008 03:36:00 PM
9 Comments:
oh suga "clutch'n my heart"...you make momma proud. I decide that 09 is going to be the year of da hoe and you put ya man hoe away. *sniff sniff, waves hanky toward u*
I agree with you sex without feeling gets boring after a while...but it is great to see that you want more than just sex...
I like the idea, the plan, that you have. Man do I hope you find that soulmate dude. Nothing like it in the world. To be in love and committed.
I wish I could wave a wand or some shit to make this easy and it actually make is happen for you.
I hope to read about some good happenings in your life.
All the best.
*waves wand*
You're ready man...
Sounds like between now and January 1, 2009 you plan on getting a WHOLE lot out your system? LOL. I guess I'm a late bloomer of sorts ... I didn't really start getting out there until recently. So, I'm not making any such claims ... but condoms EVERY time, yes. Good man.
Hey Norris, good luck with your journey my man. I think you can do it. Your goals are not too far out there. I think you are just speaking into existence what you want.
What will really be the pay off for you is that when the guy that you want does come around you will know that it is probably for real, because he chose to get down with your program. You live in ATL, so you know that most of the brothas there aren't about too much other than that booty, but the guy that waits will probably be looking for the same thing as you.
Once again, good luck! Keep us posted.
Boi give up the koochie...ain't nobody gonna want it later...LOL
You are telling the story of so many other males battling with his female aspect being attracted to other males, who only want to used them as a 'release' when hony or bored. Wanting a stable relationship or commitment from another male, but still willing to have sexual hookups until that happens. Just like the millions who start and fail diets every year, you may be in the same situation. And we all know that diets don't work. So maybe it's a better idea to gain an understanding of 'why' you feel attracted to so many males to start with, and then you may be able to take informed actions to help you on you quest not to be, in your words 'kinda slutty' in 2009.
So you did have Tramp in you! Just kidding, but 20 partnerss? Damn bro you was getting yours. Nothing wrong with getting down as long as you know that it is just sex, and protection is in place mind, body and soul you gotta rap them all up when dealing with the slick talking, big dick , phat ass brothas.
I understand the need or desire for a real relationship, it provides a sense of worth and security. Something truly meaningful.
I am certain that you will find him this year, open up stop putting the shyte off, let that brotha swoop you off your feet.
Happy New Year to you!
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