I'm All For Self Expression, But...

...there are some things that can't be help being laughed at!!! This is just sad on so many levels.

It Takes Just One...

...person to redeem the indiscretions of others. Here's why I say that.

A few weeks ago, I headed to my physician's office for my annual checkup. As I walked into the building, a white woman who was maybe in her 50s saw me heading toward the elevator and tried to hit the "close door" button (she still had her finger on it when I got in). When I finally got into the elevator, she huddle herself in the corner like a frightened woodlands creature. I just looked at her, rolled my eyes and shook my head.

When the elevator stopped, I let her get off first as any Southern gentleman should do. When she stepped out of the elevator, she glanced over her shoulder as if to which way I was headed. I just stood behind her to give her time to get the hell out of my way. She turned left and so did I since that was where my doctor's office is. The entire length of the hallway, she kept glancing over her shoulder behind her and I just kept my distance. I also noticed that there were security cameras around. If this woman claimed that I had done something to her, I would have proof that I didn't. Then finally, out of no where she stopped, backed up against the wall and stayed there until I passed. I just walked on by shaking my head.

When I rounded the corner, she was still standing there against the wall. I stopped just to take a look back around that same corner and she had continued her walk toward my present direction. I continued on to my destination wondering why she was scared of me and wondering how I could have been so intimidating to her. Was she scared of men? I think not, since she was talking to the white man that got off before I got on. Was she scared of Black men? Probably so. But even though I was a little upset, I brushed it off as just another dumb ass white woman.

And this is how I know that God works magic when it needs to be worked.

After my visit, I headed back down the aforementioned hallway back to the elevator and saw that the door was closing. Suddenly the elevator door reopened and there was another white woman in probably in her 70s who was holding the "door open" button. On the short way down to the 1st floor, she asked me how my day was and I replied and and asked her the same. This short little interaction put a smile on my face and let me know that all white women aren't scared of us.

Each time something like this happens, it saddens me a little bit more that this still goes on. It happened again today except this time it was some gay white man grabbing his man purse when I walked toward his direction in Starbucks. It makes me wonder if I look that menacing and intimidating.

Do I need to soften my look and be sure to smile. But then I thought, why in the hell would I change myself to make others feel comfortable? I'm not the one with the problem, they are. And it's up to them to change themselves and their thinking.

Really?

I love this segment on Saturday Night Live, so I figured that I would start my own!!! Now these aren't all my personal experiences, but some that people I know have had drama about also.

1. Really, so you have to ask me everything under the sun when you can find out shit on your own. REALLY! When I say, "I don't know", you get upset and say "well you act like you know everything." REALLY! I don't know everything, I just know how to find out about the things that I want to know about. Ever heard of GOOGLE? I mean REALLY!!!!!!

2. Really, so you don't want to drive your car when we go somewhere because gas is expensive. REALLY! So i'm guessing that you thinkt that I get a discount on gas or something! Well guess what, I don't. And my car uses premium instead of regular like yours does. So if you don't want to drive, from now on you will not be going! I mean REALLY!!!!!!

3. Really, so i'm single because I don't know how to treat a man. REALLY! So are you single because you treat them so well? REALLY! I have seen cheat on every man that you have been in a relationship with. I remember back in 1998 when you asked me to lie to your boyfriend, so that you could fly to another city to fuck another dude. I mean REALLY!!!!!!

4. Really, so you thought that just because we met and I invited you over to my house that I was inviting you for sex. REALLY! No nigga! I had already told you that I was abstaining from any sexual contact for the next 3 months! Did you think that by stripping down to your undies while I was in the kitchen would make me change my mind? I mean REALLY!!!!!

5. Really, so you think that just because I have Delta Skymiles that i'm going to get you a free ticket every time you ask. REALLY! I got you a ticket last year at Christmas because you said that your grandfather was on his death bed. And I even paid the fucking $50 last minute booking fee! But it just seems so strange that your grandfather has been alive and well all year. Now you need another ticket because he is sick, but you don't need it until Christmas. Kiss my ass. I mean REALLY!!!!!!

6. Really, so you think that your 5th annivearsary with your boyfriend is more important than my 30th birthday. REALLY! I should forget that my birthday is a week after your planned party and spend my money to fly up there instead of the trip that I usually take for my birthday. Nah playa, I think that my birthday is more important to me. I mean REALLY!!!!!

7. Really, so you thought that because I let you spend the night that you could just wake me up at 7am. This after I told you that I don't get up until 10am on my days off. REALLY! And you said that you only did it because you wanted me to get up! What the hell kind of reason is that? Was the apartment on fire? Was my car being stolen? And you are surprised that I don't want to date you anymore? I mean REALLY!!!!!!

8. Really, I know that we are friends and all, but why do you think it's cool to just invite yourself over to my house? A text message that says, "im on my way over to your house because I need to use your computer" does not an invite make. If you want to come over and use my computer, ask. Did you ever stop to think that I may not be in the best mood for company. I mean REALLY!!!!!

9. Really, why is it that when we go out and the check comes, you always leave it there on the table. REALLY! Do you think that I always have to pay? And you make about 50% more per year than I do and just bought a brand new car! The next time that we go out, I'll wait until after you have ordered your food and 3 drinks and tell the server that we will have separate checks. That will show your ass! I mean REALLY!!!!!!

10. Really, what are some of you all's REALLY moments that you have experienced or seen others experienced? I have seen some of my friends go through some of these experiences as I have myself. I mean REALLY!!!!!!

************************Added Bonus**********************

Bonus-Really, must you complain and bitch about and hate on Atlanta, Georgia. I mean REALLY!!!! If you don't like our traffic problems or abundance of Gay and Black Men, or anything else then stay the fuck away from the city. If you have a business trip here, tell your boss that you are afraid that you are gonna get stuck in traffic and that a Gay Black Man may hit on you, and don't want to go. I mean REALLY!!! I'm gonna guess that your city has traffic that flows 24/7 and has no Black Gay Men. I mean REALLY!!!! Do you really have to go bashing the city of Atlanta because you moved here with no job, thinking you were going to find the job and man of your dreams? But instead of those, you ended up taking yo ass back home to (gay)Moma cause you were to lazy to get off your ass and find either one! I mean REALLY!!!!! Stop all of the fucking Atlanta, bashing. It's getting old. I mean REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!