Friday, August 14, 2009

I'm Getting Tired Of...

...going out to clubs, parties, and other events. I've been feeling this way for a while and have been wondering why this change is occuring. I noticed last year that when my friends would want to go out, I started declining and would just stay at home. But when it was just an event that involved only my crew, I was all for it. In the last few weeks, i've figured out why I have become the way I have become.

Back in the early part of this decade, I would go out and people would be out to have fun. They danced and sang and partied until the club closed. That just doesn't happen anymore. It seems that people go out to social places just to be seen. They go to do what I call S&M, or Stand and Model. They stand around with their friends and associates with drinks in hand and try to see who's looking at them.

And don't dare speak!! Oh my!!! You get the "who are you to speak to me" look with a grab of the chest!! Why the hell are you going out if you don't want to interact with the other patrons of the social environment? I just don't get it. I remember once I spoke to a brotha and complimented him on his jeans because they were quite unique. This muthafucka turned his nose up at me and then turned his back to me. At first, I was going to let him HAVE IT!! But what would that do? Absolutely nothing but run up my blood pressure. So I just walked away.

Last week, I attended a BBQ hosted by a guy that I know. We got there pretty early so we were able to see who all was coming in. Me being the person that I am, when I walked in the door, I spoke to those already in attendance. I noticed that as people came in, they didn't speak to others that were already there. Why the hell not? As the crowd grew, people started retreating to their corners with their friends with drinks and food in hand. After a while (and a few drinks), I got kinda tired of what I was seeing. I recruited 2 of my friends to go with me to speak to and introduce ourselves to EVERY person at the BBQ!!! And we did!!!! You should have seen the looks on faces!!! People were utterly shocked that we would do such a thing!! How dare you have the audacity to speak to people and introduces yourselves. Oh no they didn't!!! Oh yes the hell we did!!

I think that's one of the reasons why i've cut waaaayyyy back on my going out. I didn't go to the annual white party this year. I only go out to a club maybe 1 time a month. I don't do parties that often anymore. What I do is hang with my crew a lot more. Instead of trying to meet new people, i'll concentrate on improving the relationships that I have now. I don't need to go out to do that.

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Blogger thegayte-keeper said...


9:50 PM, August 14, 2009  
Blogger ExaminedLife said...

This has definitely been my experience. I'm already shy and to go to a party where you know few people and everybody just turns their nose up, it's like damn lol. That was a great idea about just going to introduce yourself to everyone. I'd probably never do it lol, but that seems to be more of what we all should do.

10:03 AM, August 15, 2009  
Blogger B. Good said...

Same here. I don't go out anymore either. Its all about the company I keep, and who I'm with. Doesn't matter where I am, as long as I'm on good company.

11:47 AM, August 15, 2009  
Blogger Bernie said...

You've reached the point in life where it's not about the quantity of people you hang out with, but the quality. Good for you.

6:58 PM, August 15, 2009  
Blogger UrSoVain said...

Know what you mean... clubs aren't even cute anymore. The best parties are the ones with ur judies... but i think its great that u take the initiative and introduce yourself. We all need to start doing that, myself included.

3:16 PM, August 16, 2009  
Blogger CrocoEmbossed said...

You really hit the nail with this one. People just lack social skills - point blank! But check this, the same dudes with all that conceit would be the first mofos to proclaim how "cool", "laid back" and "down to earth" they are. Bullshit.

Cool and down to earth brothers are more like chameleons and mingle with all sorts of people and know how to address people when they enter a room. Black gay men need more home training.

I've seen it - you could have no interest in someone and compliment their jeans, cap or whatever because you thought it was fly and they act like you were trying to get with them. It's just gotten so ridiculous.

The club is really just to see and be seen nothing more, nothing less. And that is a shame.

10:03 PM, August 17, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's see....get dressed up, put on cologne, get yourself together you you can be appealing to others, then get upset or throw shade when someone speaks to you. It makes no sense to me. I have noticed that some gay people tend to "class" themselves, thinking that they are "better and greater than" so if you are not in their "click" don't you dare even look in their direction let alone have the nerve to speak. The sooner these self-important types get over themselves the better off they will be. Remember yo stuff stanks too.

10:24 PM, August 18, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man I feel you. I stopped going to those events because of the same things -- dudes standing around pretending not to be checking out everyone else, stank attitudes, wannabe models...I'm over it. YAWN.

10:26 AM, August 19, 2009  
Blogger yet another black guy said...

Funny, this sounds like a sign-of-the-times thing. They do it up here in Chicago. After being away from the spots, I realize I don't miss them all that much.

2:41 AM, August 28, 2009  
Blogger ToddyEnglish said...

Y'know what? This is the reason I rarely do clubs anymore. I get sick and tired of the stank nasty attitudes (I truly believe that most of them think they are they DIVAS they try and emulate).
Oh honey, don't go in dressed in your Sunday best either. They will make it known that they will kill the competition.

The first time I went to a club (a few years ago)I was dressed really fly and the moment I walked in those evil queens sized me up and threw DIRTY looks. I'm thinking, "Did I just slap your mother or something?"
It made me so nervous because everyone was in a clique and no one was talking to one another. They were just very rude and stand offish to everyone. Fortunately, a a nice guy approached and I would up having a little fun.

When someone compliments my outfit I smile and say, "thank you" and make conversation.

We just live in this culture of rudeness where everyone thinks they are a goddamn supermodel. And, as someone stated before, these are the same fools talking about how down to earth they are how they are looking for a real relationship...

Well, you ain't gone find it like that when you are stuck under your ugly clique.

5:00 PM, September 04, 2009  

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