Cabin Pictures

I just want to say that the Blue Ridge Mountains are spectacular at all times of the day. Friday night we stayed up until 5:30am the next morning playing spades, talking shit, and drinking. It was a restful 3.5 days and I can't wait to do it again. Thanks God that it didn't rain until Monday when we were leaving.

It was nice to be with a group of 11 other Black and gay men and there not be any drama or issues. Well there was just a little, but we decided to just pretend that it didn't happen. One person decided to be petty because he didn't get a bedroom and had to sleep on a pullout sofa (That's what happens when you are the last to arrive). He waited until some of us took a nap Saturday afternoon and blasted music to wake us up. Then he took more than his allotted share of crab legs. But like I said, we decided to pretend that it didn't happen.

Here are a few pictures.

Off For Vacation

Hey kids,



I'm off for another cabin trip and this one is much needed!!! I need this vacation like I need my next breath!!

Read about the last trip here.

If This Ain't Some Shit...

What they fuck was this principal thinking?

My Mood Today

I'm just feeling lonely as hell for some reason (maybe because I am).

http://gettingmyselftogether.blogspot.com/2006/07/even-if-it-is-damn-lie.html

Exceptions can be made if...

Like many many many Black and Gay men, I spend a lot of time on online "dating" websites. I've met a few ok guys and a whole lot of not ok guys. Earlier today I ran across a dude's ad that caught my eye. The dude in the picture was sexy as hell and I clicked on it to read his profile text. It said:

u need to have: a car/house, a job, education, all of your teeth, be well groomed, nice body ( u must work out), at least 5"10 and 175lbs or more, disease free, and good hygiene, 33yrs or younger (exceptions will be made based on person)dislikes: brotha's that smoke, bad hygiene, ungroomed cats, unproportionate body types.

I got to thinking about how I select the people that I date. When I thought about the "criteria" that a man must have, I couldn't think of many. For me, he must be:

Black (Or biracial with one black parent)

Male

Near my age

Have a means of transportation

Have a job or means to sustain himself

I must be attracted to him

I think that people have these preferences so that they don't have to deal with things that they don't like.

I want a Black man because I believe that we can relate to each other's culture. I have considered dating guys of another race, but I don't want someone that wants me just because I am Black. I also don't want racial differences to arise (and they will).

I want him to have transportation because I don't want to have to pick him up each time we go somewhere. I tried dating a dude with no car and it got frustrating as hell having to go see him everytime we wanted to see each other. Everytime we went out, I was having to drive all over town. I want a brotha to come pick me up sometimes.

I want him to have a job or means of supporting himself because I am not supporting anyone. I will not pay for everything when i'm with someone. I've tried this also, but when dude asked me to pay a bill, I was out of there.

I want to be attracted to the man because... Well do I even have to explain this? I don't think that many people want someone whom they aren't attracted to. Do you?

But what about the brotha that you meet that has all but one of your "requirements"? Would you still date him? That's why I highlighted the part in red up above. I think that we can all accept a brotha that doesn't have all that we want.

It's my belief that you are never going to get a person that has EVERYTHING that you want. You might meet a man that's financially well off, but he may have the personality of an overused knife (dull). You may meet a man that has 10 cars, but he is unattractive. You may meet a man that's sexy as hell, financially stable, owns his own home, has beautiful teeth, and has no looming baggage, but something is going to not be to your liking. SOMETHING!!!!

In the brotha's ad above, do you think that he would reject a brotha who met all of those needs except the fact that he was 5'9" tall or 34 year of age? I highly doubt it.

I guess it's ok to want certain things in a person, but when you expect perfection, you are setting yourself up for failure. If you meet that person that just makes you smile, enjoy the reasons that he makes you smile and don't sweat the small stuff.

Excuse You

I'm at the gas station on Tuesday putting some air in my tires. I'm already non-trusting of people so I'm always checking my surrounding. In the corner of my eye, I see this young white dude walking up to me. He gets about 8 feet away from me starts to speak.

YWB- "Hey man, go get me a pack of Newport lights from the store" as he attempts to hand me money.

Me: "Nope. I can't do that"

YWB: "Why not"

Me: "Muthafucka I ain't going to jail for your young ass! Now get the hell away from me!"

Now, I wasn't appalled that he approached me for cigarettes in the least bit. What pissed me off was that the lil bastard TOLD me to go get him some cigarettes. Not asked, TOLD!!!!!!!!

Seriously like WTFis up with kids these days.!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Getting The Shakes Again

Read this first.

http://gettingmyselftogether.blogspot.com/2005/12/i-just-have-to-ask.html

I haven't had sex in 2 months and it's starting to get to me. I wrote in a previous post that after about 25 days I start to get the shakes and I can't get sex off my mind. And after 2 months, you can guess how I am feeling.

The only problem is that I have decided not to do casual sex anymore. I mean there are literally thousands of choices when it comes to sex, but I just don't want to fuck anybody. I'm a little too old for that shit now.

I guess I have no choice but to hold out until I don't know when.

I wonder which ex boyfriend is available.

Not To Be Ungrateful, But...

Today I had my annual review. The purpose of the review would be to determine how much of a pay increase I would get. All I can say is that I am sorely disappointed in the review process and the amount of my raise.

I was provided no documentation on what criteria were being reviewed.

There was no introduction of who all was on the call.

I had no idea of what the average amount of the merit raise was.

So we continued the call and I was showered with accolades for "stepping up" my game and taking on new projects, such as 500 room hotel conversions and kiosk installations. I was also told of what projects that I would be expected to learn and implement.

Then they hit me with the "well your only bad point is that you didn't finish your online training in a timely fashion". I accepted responsibility for it and explained why I took so long *that was a lot of shit to do*

Then it got down to the money. I was given a raise that doesn't even come close to the national average. Now a raise of any kind is always good. But what pissed me off was that they called it a MERIT raise. I was given the same amount as everyone else! The reason that I am pissed and disappointed is that I have worked my ass of for the last 2 years on this job. I have asked for extra projects, have been given them, and completed them with flying colors. I have always turned my reports in on time. I have done everthing right and excelled above what I was supposed to do. And I was awared with the same thing that everyone else got! I think that's bullshit! Why have I been busting my ass? Why? I could have just done enough to get by like other people.

Now normally I would have said something while on the call, but I couldn't. I couldn't for a very important reason. I have just applied for a new position within our project. Now, the position requires that the person taking it live in Memphis, TN so that they can work in the office. But, because no one is willing to move to that city, they are considering letting the position be remote. That means that the person could work from home. There would also be about a 33% raise over what I am making now. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to jeopardize my chances at getting that position.

At this point, I have made a decision that if I am not promoted to the new position, I will start to seek other employment. I fully understand that "the economy" is faltering and all, but my work load has increased significantly. Now if everyone had been given the same work load and we all performed at the same level, I wouldn't have a problem. But like I said, I have WORKED MY ASS OFF while others haven't.

Now I don't want anyone worried that I am going to up and quit my job. I am not foolish enought to do that. Now if I win this $34 million lottery, then it's another story. But what I will do is start looking to see what is out there that pays me what the industry average is. I'll do a my research to see the sustainability of the companies that are doing the hiring and then pinpoint what I want to do. I'm not stupid when it comes to my livelihood. And I also think that it's high time that I get serious about graduate school.

I can imagine that most people in this position would be pissed the fuck off right now. And I am!!!


Text in red were not part of the original post and were added after the first 2 comments.

Relationship...

What does a romantic relationship mean to you? Does it mean that you are dating someone, seeing someone or what? I don't get how people are so quick to slap that label on a situation with someone and don't know what the hell it is to them or discuss what it means to both parties. In my observations, i've seen people date for 3 weeks and suddenly they are in a "relationship"

Example: An associate of mine was a given a surprise birthday party by his boyfriend. During his thank you speech, he said: "And I want to tell my boyfriend who I have been in a relationship with for 4 months, that these have been the best 4 months of my life." Everyone was "awwwww" this and "awwwww" that while I sat there thinking "child please". When he said the "R" word, the boyfriend cocked an eyebrow and looked at him. A month later the boyfriend got a promotion and was being told that he was being transfered to another city. The associate immediately started dating other people and easing out of the "relationship". Now in my mind, if this was a relationship, he would have considered ways to keep it going or even thought about moving himself.

I am sure that everyone has their definition or interpretation, but when I am in a relationship with someone, it's not because of anything superficial, such as money, looks, or sex or just because I like someone. It's because I have taken my time to examine the situation and deemed this person someone who I can commit my life to. So I don't take that label lightly in the least bit.

I just can't rush into relationships with the dudes I date. I have figured out that what I want in my life is someone to spend it with. I justdon't think that I can determine that in a few weeks or even a few months. I need time to assess the situation. I'm not saying that it will take years to make that determination, because a relationship CAN form in a short period of time. But a brotha like me just likes to get a full understanding of a person. I want to know that I can trust this person without reservation. I want to know that I can fully communicate with this person. I want to know that this person is as committed to me as I am to him. I just want to be sure before I take that plunge into what I call a relationship.

And honestly, once I get into a relationship I don't really concern myself with how long it last. What I concern myself with is making the best of what I have at the moment and building it so that it makes me and my partner happy. I feel that as long as we are happy, it will last. If one of us decides to end the relationship, then so be it. But if I have been given any amount of happiness, then it was worth it.

Am I the only one that thinks this way? I feel that I am.

Is my interpretation of a relationship too serious? I don't know.