Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My Friends Really...

...opened my eyes last weekend during out Friday night discussion session! An I actually wasn't going to post this, but after reading Kenny King's post about his friend doing it to him, I had to.

Like I said, we were having our usual Friday night discussion session and the topic somehow ended up as too why some people can't keep a man. Then it got onto why I can't keep a man. Go figure. I told my friends that it's not that I can't keep a man, it's that when I realize that a dude isn't for me, I let the situation go. I don't see a point in continuing to date a dude I can't get along with or am not compatible with.

I told them that I am what a few dudes have called a bitch. And that's when they opened my eyes. I was told that the reason I can't/won't stay with a dude is that i'm too overbearing for the kind of guy that I like. They went on to explain that the kind of guys they have seen me date are guys with a strong and confident personality just like mine. After drinking another glass of wine and thinking about it, I realized that they were right, even though I knew that already. And that's when my eyes were opened. They also pointed out that the few passive guys that I have tried to date haven't lasted past a few weeks. Now that I already knew. I don't like guys that are pushovers. Like Kenny said, "even though I had already known this-- I have to admit that it felt good for someone so close to me to take the time to call me out in a loving, concerned way".

Over the last few days, I have been reviewing the relationships and dating situations that I have had and realizing that I am rather strong-minded. I don't like to be told what to do, but can and will tell you what to do. I like to be right and will only back down when I am proven to be wrong. I speak my mind even when my opinion is not solicited. Overall, I just have a very assertive personality.

So what was I to do? They explained that I should tone down on my personality and I will be fine. I have to learn to listen instead of being the one to talk. I have to let someone else take the lead. I have to become more attentive to my reactions. So that's what I plan to do. I know it's going to take some time to adjust myself, but if it's for the betterment of myself and my relationships (familial and platonic also), then that's something that i'm willing to do. I'm hoping that I can become a better liked and more respected person.

So, thanks to my friends for opening my eyes a little wider as to what I already knew was one of my problems. Ole blunt bitches!!!

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8 Comments:

OpenID just4today said...

I totally get you! Sometimes it takes our real friends to snap us back to reality!

12:11 PM, June 16, 2009  
Blogger life said...

It's funny how people can hit the nail right on the head. This is what friendship is about

7:29 PM, June 16, 2009  
Blogger Ty said...

That's what true friends are supposed to do.

8:40 PM, June 16, 2009  
Blogger Chet said...

Be grateful that your friends are honest and out spoken. Now stop being that bitch (as it has been said) and give the brothas you date a fighting chance. I am sure if you back down just a tad bit you will find that long term relationship or life partner.

12:00 AM, June 17, 2009  
Blogger KB said...

real, true friends r like medicine...might taste bad at first, or even hurt or sting, but what they offer is medicine man! i got 1 or 2 friends that i'll be having this type of "talk" with in a few days myself!

1:12 PM, June 17, 2009  
Blogger yet another black guy said...

damn, I just got an intervention the other day too!

1:25 PM, June 18, 2009  
Blogger B. Good said...

I give myself a daily intervention. Doesn't seem to be working, lol. Maybe I should recruit some help.

Thank God for good friends!

3:59 PM, June 22, 2009  
Blogger E said...

It is good that you were able to take the criticism and work on toning down a few things. Keep in mind though that your future guy should accept you for who you are...easier said than done.

2:07 AM, June 24, 2009  

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