Wednesday, December 05, 2007

A Few Things To Do

I was reading Sista Girl J's blog today about her taking the time to clean her mental house and it got me to thinking about how over the last month, I have been thinking the same thing. I was also watching Madea's class reunion and she mentioned something to the effect that when you turn 30 your way of thinking starts to change. She's right about that. About 2 months ago it kinda hit me that i'm about to turn 30 in March of 2008. I noticed that immediatlely my mind went into another mode. I've noticed that:

I don't worry about things like I used to.

I don't snap on people unless they really deserve it.

I think about my spirituality a lot more.

I am a lot calmer about situations.

I just don't care about small things that really don't matter.

I handle problems instead of worrying about them.

I've realized that I have to get real with myself and not let life get to me, but let me get into life. I have to think more about being happy overall than about being happy just for the moment or the evening. I have to think about how I am going to handle my future instead of it handling me.

As far as how I am going about changing things is to actually start planning. I find that I think about doing things about my future, but never plan on how to go about the actions. I need to start planning. I have no plan on a career. I have no plan on retirement. I have no plan on going back to school. I don't have a plan to do much but keep existing. I'm getting too old for that.

There are 3 things that I plan to do initially that I hope will help me out. One of them is to stop drinking. I went to the doctor last friday for a checkup and my blood pressure was 155/100. I was given an additional medication, so now I take 2 of them a day. I don't drink often, but when I do, it's quite a lot. A least 5 or 6 drinks. No more liquor for me. In fact, this past weekend, I only drank water and cranberry juice. I also noticed that I had just as much fun not drinking. I was also a lot calmer than I usually am. So, if it's not a glass of wine every now and then, i'm not drinking it.

The another thing that I plan to do is abstain from sex for a while. I think about sex a lot and have had sex with more people this year than I really needed to. In the 6 months of 2007 that Hollywood and I were NOT together, I was giving Blanche Devearauex a run for her money. I think about sex quite a lot like any other man, but I tend to act on it more than the average dude. There are at least 6 people in my phone that I can call right now to have sex with. I will be deleting those as soon as I finish posting this. No more maintenance men, Justins, backup plans, spare tires or anything. I am hoping that by abstaining from sex, I will forget about it *or at least not think about it as much*. Maybe then I will be able to focus on something else. Besides, sex i've noticed that i'm not that much into it anymore. Dare I say it, but sex has gotten boring.

The last thing that I plan to do is stay off of The Toy Store and Family Guide websites. I spend at least 2 hours a day chatting with dudes off of there. I may only meet 2 of 10 that I chat with, but 2 hours a day is still too much. I could be doing something else. And staying off of those will also help me with the item mentioned above since they make it sooooo easy to meet a dude for sex.

I sure that there are a few more things that I will come up with, but I think that I will start with these for now.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous kennyking78 said...

Hey, you know what? I, too, am turning 30 in 2008 (June). You are right... I am entering a new space as far as thinking goes. Well, maybe not a new space, but I sure, as hell, feel more confident.

Man, do you. I love to hear about people taking control over their lives instead of it being the other way around. I often think about you, because I believe you are on a real journey. Keep us posted.

Good luck!

kennyking78
http://just4today.typepad.com

10:18 PM, December 05, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Jones said...

I need to make my way down there for an extravaganza. Your 30th birthday is as good a reason as any, right? Let's make this happen.

12:48 PM, December 06, 2007  
Blogger My Name Is J said...

I am hoping that by abstaining from sex, I will forget about it *or at least not think about it as much*. Maybe then I will be able to focus on something else.

Baby....let me learn ya a coupla thangs.


First of all...no suga is NOT gonna stop the thoughts they will increase. Your strength is going to have to increase with it. NOT having any "backups" to call is the only thing that keeps me out of trouble right now.

It has to be something you want MORE than the sex itself. When i wanna do it, I remember how I felt after that last time. That empty im still going home alone and i just gave away some good shit for nothing feeling was NO GOOD.

Once u have conqured that my grasshopper...life truly begins because u have CONTROL over one of your demons.

4:52 PM, December 07, 2007  
Blogger E said...

Definitely some good starts. Sorry to hear about the 155/100 bp. Watching bp is a constant thing for me too...for the most part I've been staying lately in the upper 130/80 range but a few times it slips up. I find too that eating more veggies helps in that department.

As for abstaining from sex, I know that's going to be tough. But you can do it. I think I abstained for six months a couple years back one time.

I like when you do your self-assessments since it makes me think of doing my own.

9:14 PM, December 07, 2007  

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