Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Bank of Information

Welcome to Bank of Information. I'm Norris and how I can help you?

I am sick and tired of being the source of information for everyone. Why the hell do people call me or contact me for information that they can easily find out for themselves? Why do you ask me shit that you can think about and answer for yourself? Why do you ask me shit of which you know that I don't know the answer? Why is it that after I give you a dumb look or a few curse words, can you figure it out for yourself? Most of the time, I will give the information requested, but I am tired of being depended upon to do and know everything. A few examples:

A person that I dated for a few weeks last year called me and asked me if I knew of a good insurance company. I told him that I used Blue Cross Blue Shield and that he should try them. He then asked me what were their rates and coverage. I asked him how I would know that information and that I don't work for BCBS. He says "fine, you don't have to get an attitude." I told him, "you don't have to call me." He hung up all pissed, but called me right back to ask me the number to call for BCBS. I hung the hell up on him.

My ex-boyfriend, Dreads, decided to come visit me this past weekend. Mind you that he has been to my house several times before and black folk have a rule. If you visit more than 2 times, you should know where everything is, so make yourself at home. He wanted a plate to fix himself something to eat. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when he came in and asked me "where are the plates?" I just scowled at him like I wanted to claw his eyes out. I asked him "you mean to tell me that you came all the way to the other side of the apartment to ask me that when you could have just opened the cabinets and looked?" He replied, "well I guess I could have just done that." Yes mister, you could have!

Beatmug and I went to see Dreamgirls on New Years day (my second time). He was pulling into the parking lot and started looking for a parking space. He saw a half empty lot and asked me "is it safe to park here." I just pretended to not hear him. I really wanted to say "how in the hell should I know." When he realized that I didn't answer, he muttered "you dirty bitch, how you gone make me think for myself" and pulled into the parking lot. We both laughed about that one because he knew why I didn't answer the first question!

One of my friends from DC called me and asked me what was a good hotel to stay in in New York. He reasoned that because I travel a lot, I should know all of the good hotels. I told him that I wasn't a travel agent and was not gonna research for him.

My brother called me and asked me to sign him up for Delta Skymiles. I asked him if he had access to the internet. When he said yes, I told asked him why he needed me to do it. I then told him to log onto and click on Skymiles. When he did that he screamed out "oh, I can do this."

I have been in the grocery store and people have asked me where something is. I don't even answer them anymore. I just walk off. How in the hell would I know where anything is if I don't work there.

I have been in fast food places and people will ask me the price of something when it's right on the f-king board above their heads.

I know that you all are gonna say that this is petty and that I could just be nice and give them the information. But i'm sorry, it's tiring to be someone else's brain. Whenever I need something, I find out for myself. I don't immediately go and ask someone else something when I can find out myself. I don't call people to ask them for a phone number to Domino's Pizza when I can look it up for myself. But on the other hand, when I have a question to ask, no one seems to know the answer. So it's time for the Bank of Information to close. If you want to know something, do like I do and Google it! And if I do answer your question, here is my price list:

Right Answers-$100
Dumb Looks-Free



Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not that big of a may need a 9 incher to calm down.

11:59 PM, January 10, 2007  
Blogger Soldier said...

I know exactly what you mean.
People wake me up, callin from clubs at 3 am to ask me to check bus times for them so they can go back home, at restaurant openings, i get people asking me " do you think the lamb is good here ? ", i'm like " they opened 3 HOURS AGO, how the hell would I know ? "
It gets to the point i start wonderin if half the people around me are ready to live by themselves !! lol

@ the captain's comment : Well damn ! lol

2:19 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger E said...

Heh...I can understand why that can be frustrating. By the way, do you have a number of a good dentist? j/k

2:24 AM, January 11, 2007  
Anonymous Steve said...

Hah! You make me laugh! But I know what you mean. Do you think maybe some of us are seen as knowledgeable, dependable, capable? I wonder sometimes, or maybe the right word is "hope." But my secret fear is that so many others are truly that incompetent. If they are, the world is in trouble.

Count your blessings. But it's ok to bitch about it. (I do.)

7:32 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger Ladynay said...


Hey Norris, where's the best place to buy quality big girl panties?


9:28 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger j_shanlin said...

This made my day....I am the king of silent but deadly facial expressions. I work at Gap and it never fails that a foreigner will say to me: "My nephew is 12 and he lives in ______(some foreign assed country). What size do you think he wears?" I'm like mothafucker please!! Have I ever seen your nephew..That's what I want to say, but usually, I just exit stage right.

10:58 AM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger "J" said...

*HIGH FIVE* to all that you said. Damn all that making life easier for others let them learn to fend for themselves. I get that all the time and I am quick to give you a smartass answer after I've had enough.

12:58 PM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger El Alexander said...

LOL wow sooooooooo many questions... how about you start asking questions with questions LOL people hate that!

9:26 PM, January 11, 2007  
Blogger TrinaBeingTrina said...

This was hilarious. I was on the floor. I know just what you mean. But partly because I do these things myself. It's gotten to the point that I know I'm doing it but I still do it just to drive her(my sister) crazy. Whenever we go somewhere and I'm driving I'm always asking her for directions like I have no sense of direction what-so-ever. But the truth is if I'm in the car by myself I never get lost going somewhere I have a pretty descent sense of direction but she doesn't know that because when I'm with her I don't use my brain. hahahaha

1:00 AM, January 13, 2007  
Blogger life said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:25 PM, January 13, 2007  
Blogger life said...

oh you're a little smart a**

9:26 PM, January 13, 2007  
Blogger Trent Jackson said...

fuck the captain

you dirty bitch, how you gone make me think for myself-THAT SHOULD HAVE MADE YOU CLAW EYES OUT!!!


11:27 AM, January 15, 2007  

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