Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Am I Doing Something Wrong?????????

For some reason, the closer I get to 30 the more I want to settle down. When I meet a guy, I start examining him from the start to see how we would fit into each other's lives. Within days, I have tried to fit us together like a puzzle. I start envisioning what we will look like taking family portraits, having breakfast on the patio, shopping for a house and ish like that. I even imagine what it will be like to sleep in the bed with and have sex with the dude *I can't believe that I just admitted that* I did this with the last dude that I met and started seeing.

The guy that I mentioned a few lines ago told me that I was going too fast with him. *I really wasn't* I told him about 2 weeks into dating that I really liked him. I then noticed immediately that his phone calls and text messages decreased. He panicked and thought that I was trying to push him into a relationship. *Again I say, I wasn't* I was just expressing how I felt about him.

We had a conversation on Monday that ended up with me telling him that I didn't want to date him anymore. He made it seem like just because I said that I liked him, I was trying to go farther than he wanted to go. He pleaded with me that he wanted to continue to date, but I just can't. I can't continue because I would feel uncomfortable being around or talking to him. I would feel like I had to monitor what I say and do so that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable. I would feel like I was walking on eggshells to not show affection or express how I felt about him. So, FUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!

I'm getting more and more frustrated in the dating game. But you know what, i'm not gonna let that stop me. Even though dating sucks right now, I am gonna keep at it until there isn't a a reason to do it anymore.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doesn't it bother you when people claim they just want to date and never serious about the ramifications that go along with dating?

I mean, if you are dating, that gives the signal that you are searching to find someone compatible for a sustainable amount of time.

I think gay men have this logic backwards. Their concept of dating is just finding someone to screw when they feel like being bothered. This is NOT dating, this is call requests.

Believe it or not, I did the same thing you do when you stated on examining how a person can fit in your life. For me, no one really stepped forward to be examined....I wonder why though.

-The Captain

3:53 PM, December 14, 2006  
Blogger That Girl said...

Oh my God...this is so me...I am just like you...I jump the gun too...start thinking about marriage and all that stuff

10:21 PM, December 14, 2006  
Blogger life said...

You said you don't have a social life...maybe that's it. Get out!

10:09 PM, December 20, 2006  
Blogger E said...

Okay first off...long, long ass anonymous comment (comment #3)..the hell!

Back to the post at hand...I think it's natural to want to examine a potential mate and see how he fits into your world. It makes sense because you certainly don't want to waste time with someone that doesn't.

It's cool you're not wasting your time, though. Life is too short.

12:42 AM, December 28, 2006  
Blogger Hondo's Boy said...

Gay men are still men and nothing turns a man off more than to know that the guy he is seeing is thinking further ahead than he is.

My advice: Try to stay in the moment. When it's time to look further than that both of you will know.

6:36 PM, January 08, 2007  

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