Wednesday, September 09, 2009

I Refuse To Allow...

...anyone to make me feel like what I do makes me a bad person.

I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel bad about myself.

I refuse to allow anyone to use me for their gain.

I refuse to allow anyone to mistake my generousity for weakness.

I just had enough. I really have. After 13 years of dating and relationships, i've come up with nothing. I'm absolutely tired of it. I just can't deal with the requirements, stipulations, non-compromising situations, disrespect, deception, and just plain stupidity. I'm just tired of it.

I can't change the type of person that I am, but what I will do is change the type of person I choose to date. After thinking about it i've come to the conclusion that my biggest issue with dating is overlooking and forgiving issues that I have with people. I try to be realistic and understand that people aren't perfect and that they will make mistakes. But as strong as I think I am, i'm actually pretty weak when it comes to dating. Family and friends know that i'm strong and aggressive, but when it comes to dating, i'm weak as hell.

I actually have noticed that the older i"ve gotten, the weaker I have gotten. My thinking is that i'm getting that "get a man before I get too old" feeling. I can't think that way. I just can't. I've got to change my mindset and know that I don't HAVE to romantically have someone in my life to complete me. I've got to learn to enjoy me.

Well after those 13 years, i've come to realize that I have to change my tactics. How i'm going to do that, i'm not sure, but something has to give. So first thing Monday morning...

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Blogger Ladynay said...

"I don't HAVE to romantically have someone in my life to complete me. I've got to learn to enjoy me"

And there it is sweetie, no need for me to add anything.

3:57 PM, September 09, 2009  
Blogger Twisted Wing said...

love the expression... and the ending is the kicker... 'first thing Monday morning... '

8:59 PM, September 09, 2009  
Blogger Chet said...

You stated that "First Thing Monday Morning you were going pack your blues away." Ole Boi it is now Wednesday and your most recent post states you're depressed. I'm not exactly sure what it is you are going through, but whatever it is you need to shake it off!

You mentioned that you don't need a man/partner to make your life complete, That may be true, but it certainly changes the quality of one's life and maybe just maybe makes us feel complete. Yes you may be getting older, and after thirteen years of dating, relationships and the game of kat and mouse yes you are oh so through with searching for the ultimate mate.

Sometimes our demons are our own best friend. When the time comes for you to be in a meaningful and long term relationship it will happen. Adjust that attitude man.

12:46 AM, September 10, 2009  
Blogger yet another black guy said...

Shit, you ain't got to have help feeling bad. If a dude isn't bringing you happiness, then what the hell is he bringing worth putting up with shit you don't have to? Prolly not much, do you mayne.

1:48 AM, September 10, 2009  

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