Thursday, May 11, 2006

I Wanna Be Gawjus!





For the last few years of my life, I have not felt attractive. I have that feeling that I wouldn't be attracted to myself if I weren't myself. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I think so many things could be improved.

My list:

Teeth-My teeth are almost white, but not all the way there. I would also like to reshape my smile and get rid of this gap. I want some damn braces. Other people don't see what I see for some reason.

Skin-I have acne scars from hell. Every 5 or six months, they will disappear and I will then have another bad bout with the bumps and those bitches come back.

Stomach-I want a flatter stomach and no love handles. No matter how much I exercise, the fat won't go away. I wish that I could afford liposuction.

Legs and arms-I want more muscular legs and arms. I have seen improvement in the months that I have been going to the gym, but I still have a long way to go.

Hair- My hair is nappy as a sheep's ass. Nothing that I have tried can keep my hair moisturized! That's why I cut the shit so low that it appears that there is none. But getting a haircut each week is expensive. But I don't want to be bald.

I don't want improvements for any reason other than to look good to myself. It's not for anyone else. I just want to be able to look at myself and FEEL that I have a nice physical.

The strange thing is that other people DO NOT see what I see. A lady was telling me today that I have beautiful teeth. I looked at her like she was loony. When I tell someone that I wish that I could get rid of these acne scars they say, "what scars?" Do I have some sort of body dysmorphic disorder or something.?

12 Comments:

Blogger Ladynay said...

Everyone see's themselves differently then how the rest of the world does. Hence we have plastic surgery growing in popularity more and more!

7:12 AM, May 11, 2006  
Blogger Virginia Slim said...

We're always are toughest critics. You're beautiful, man. Don't need to change at all...

8:04 AM, May 11, 2006  
Blogger E said...

You look fine. But I hear you. I have my own flaws that I wish to banish.

8:30 AM, May 11, 2006  
Blogger Bernie said...

You could spend money on a fitness program, a beauty regimen and dental work. Or you could seek professional counseling to try to understand why you don't see yourself the way so many others do.

9:02 AM, May 11, 2006  
Blogger Cash S. said...

I agree with E, you look cute to me.

9:13 AM, May 11, 2006  
Anonymous byron said...

I totally understand. We're our own worst critic. Personally, my goal is to stop focusing so much on the physical and try to work more on the emotional. I find that when that's hooked up, the physical becomes less and less of an issue, even more beautiful. Just my 2 cents. You look fine just as you are.

9:44 AM, May 11, 2006  
Blogger K Kaos said...

This is a honest post. I can relate especially since I have my own battles with my physicalities. Invest in some Self Love, because u don't see what I (we) see.

5:46 PM, May 11, 2006  
Blogger The Captain said...

To others you are beautiful, but to thyself, you can only see the flaws. Work on them one at a time to please you.

11:38 PM, May 11, 2006  
Blogger nubian said...

you are beautiful.

1:14 AM, May 12, 2006  
Blogger ProfessorGQ said...

man, I feel your pain...I have yet to meet you in person, but I am sure that you are as attractive to me in person as you are in photos...so therefore, we can be our own worst critics...

12:15 PM, May 12, 2006  
Anonymous Rita said...

Very honest post, I too see myself alot differently than others. But as I work on improving those things on the outside I am working on improving on the inside as well.

7:02 PM, May 13, 2006  
Blogger 4GOTTEN1 said...

We all see ourselves differently than everyone else. We magnify our flaws until they are almost unbearable and others just don't understand it. With you I just see beauty you are "GAWJUS" at least to me and all these other folks...take our word for it man you are perfect the way you are.

Don't go be changing all that perfection around.

10:22 AM, May 14, 2006  

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