Monday, April 17, 2006

"The Lifestyle"

If you want to see me cringe, mention the words "gay" and "lifestyle" together. I absolutely detest that word combination. Somebody please tell me what the hell is a "gay lifestyle" because a gay brotha like me has no idea.

A sedentary lifestyle may mean that you are lazy as hell.

An wealthy lifestyle may mean that you can afford whatever you want.

A retired lifestyle may mean that you do not work and you live in Florida.

(I paraphrased the definitions)

A gay lifestyle means...

People of all sexual orientations use the word combination "gay lifestyle" when they are referring to how gay people live their lives. What I think that they mean is that gay people live a life full of clubs, bars, sex, drugs, and more sex. I don't live that way, but I am gay. Who got this whole thing started?

I admit that I party and I have sex, but I don't do the drugs. Do I live a partial gay lifestyle? And if there is a gay lifestyle, are there determined lifestyles for straight and bisexual people also? The answer is HELL NO! And there isn't one for gay people either. You cannot lump all of us into one group and say that this is how we all live. There are gay people who live lives with a partner and kids and a house and 2 jobs and a dog. What kind of lifestyle are they living? Then there are the gay people who live to party and do drugs and have sex? Can you say that both of these are examples of a "gay lifestyle?"

All I am trying to say if I have not said it clearly is that being gay is not a lifestyle, it's a part of your life. Your sexuality does not determine your lifestyle. It also does not determine your life. You make your life what you want it to be and that determines your lifestyle. And no two peoples lives are the same.

What are you all opinions?


Blogger Bernie said...

But there is a Right Wing conservative lifestyle. Those people spend all their time acting self-righteous, as if they are closer to God than anyone else. They spend inordinate amounts of time passing judgement on everyone else they deem immoral, while ignoring all the immoral acts they and people like them commit every day.

Now, those m-fers are truly perverted!

11:19 PM, April 17, 2006  
Blogger 4GOTTEN1 said...

Labels are crazy that's why I don't believe in them because people try to live up to them. We get stereo typed why is that. If I were a straight guy fucking all crazy going to clubs and inpregnating women. What type of lifestyle would we call that. That's why I try to live outside that box.

11:43 PM, April 17, 2006  
Blogger Ladynay said...

Sterotypes and labels never ever fit the majority. Generalizing any group of people gives rise to debate.

People always want to define something because it helps people define themselves. It tells folk where they belong or don't belong...

The problem with that is that everyone defines everything differently...

It's still early, but I hope yall get what I am getting at.

6:51 AM, April 18, 2006  
Blogger Cash S. said...

I agree with you. Your sexuality does not determine your lifestyle. You really can't define what a "gay lifestyle" is. Ladynay made some excellent points.

8:59 AM, April 18, 2006  
Blogger No4real4real said...

Yeah labels are whack.

12:51 PM, April 18, 2006  
Blogger The Captain said...

Interesting....let me think on this one. I have to respond.

11:35 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger E said...

I've always heard it called an alternative lifestyle. Either way, I don't like it either. We as humans unfortunately tend to categorize things into neat packages even though there's variations in every package.

11:40 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger Blush said...

this is an interesting question, and i think the answer lies in your (everyone's) stereotypes and cynicism. stay with me here. when i hear the words "gay lifestyle," i simply take it to mean that this is someone who is going to be dating and having sexual relations with someone of the same sex. like, big deal. but i was fortunate enough to know my friends gay mom as a child, and she did not party, nor do drugs, nor have promiscuous sex. but i knew she was gay. so my first ...example of a "gay lifestyle" was just a woman who shared a bed with another woman. thats that.
now, i can speak for myself but not the rest of the world. if someone in your life scared you into believing some stereotype about gays, then youd probably think that was the "gay lifestyle" which is interchangeable for any difference, be it religion, or race, or social class. have i made any sense??
i guess what im trying to say is that its hard to define a lifestyle at all, much less one for an entire group of people unless youre going on stereotypes. i guess its just important to make sure that youre not doing the same thing to perhaps a different group of people. that would be the only way of stopping it from happening to you.

1:54 PM, April 20, 2006  
Blogger That Girl said...

Yeah labels are never good!

7:59 AM, April 22, 2006  
Blogger ProfessorGQ said...

it's just a label that makes ignorant, non-homosexuals feel better about themselves as if being gay "is a choice"

3:16 PM, April 24, 2006  

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