Life's Issues
I've had a few issues in the past few weeks that have just made me feel like slapping the hell out of somebody just to make myself feel better. I have had issues with Dating/Relationships, My Job, My Best Friend, and My Health.
Dating/Relationships:
As many of you may have guessed, I am/was still seeing VP. I just couldn't get him out of my mind. And on top of that, he told me that he didn't want to end our situation and that he really did love me. Which I believed. After about 2 weeks of calls and seeing each other, he reverted back to his old unreliable self. Yesterday he was deleted from my phone. Now I just need to delete him from my heart and mind.
My Job:
In February, I wrote that my old boss called me about coming back to my old job. I declined because the offered me 4 grand less per year than I asked for. Well, last Friday on my present job, I didn't get a paycheck. Why? Because I didn't work any days in that pay period. This has happened twice so far this year. And it happened 3 times last summer. Now what I want you all to do is imagine missing a paycheck and having to take your last $1000 out of your saving account to cover bills. I started thinking about the fact that since I have been with the job, I have not been able to save any money.
Well, it doesn't matter anymore because I am going back to my old company with a yearly salary. They upped their offer by $2000 in order to get me back. Honestly, the first offer would have been fine, but I now I am glad that I held out. One thing that I have learned from this experience is to be careful not to burn bridges.
My Best Friend:
Beatmug and I are not speaking right now. He really pissed me off on Friday night. Really and Truly pissed me off! Last week, he said that he was coming to Atlanta to visit me, to which he arrived on Friday evening. Each time that he comes to Atlanta, Goofy is always sure to show up also right behind him. They come to Atlanta and stay at my house so much that I gave them keys. There have even been times that they have been there when I was not in town. That's all fine and dandy. As long as they keep my house clean because they know that I will snap if ANYTHING is out of place.
Now to why I am not speaking to Beatmug. Friday night, me him and Goofy went to Tower II, a gay club in Atlanta, GA. We were standing around chillin, talking, and drinking. Goofy points out some cute dude that "standing next to his fat friend." I then said "that could be me since I am cute and Beatmug is the fat friend." Apparently Beatmug got upset and screams "I could talk about your bad ass skin, but I won't." I asked him what the fuck was his muthafucking problem. At that moment, I was baffled because we always call each other fat or skinny or stupid or a whole bunch of other shit. It's all in fun. Any other time I would call him fat, he would say " the only fat part of my is my ass." But this time he got upset and snapped at me. But I let it go.
Later on during the night, I kept noticing that they were having conversations to which I was not privy to. All of a sudden they started laughing really loudly about something. I asked, "what's so funny? I didn't hear a joke." To which Goofy screams (in front of everybody) "because you were not apart of the conversation!" I looked at Beatmug, and he had a look of agreement on his face. I was embarrassed and ready to go! The only problem was that I didn't drive as I usually do so had to wait on Beatmug to be ready to go ( I should have taken a cab).
By the time, we were leaving, my allergies started acting up again. I started sneezing and got the worst sinus headache. I really needed to go home and take my medicine. I let Beatmug know this, but do you think that took me home? No! He drove to another club so that he and Goofy could stand outside and mingle in the crowd. I was so mad that I didn't get out of the car. I just sat in the car holding my head. After 45 minutes of them hoeing, we finally left.
When I got home, I didn't say shit to the bitches. I just went to my room and slammed the door. I started thinking about all the times that we have gone out together. It never occured to me that they always have their own conversations. It also never occured to me that each time they go out to eat or to a party or to the mall or anywhere, I am not a part of the planning. It's always, "do you want to go with US?" Then I thought about the fact that since I moved back to Atlanta last June, they have visited ATLANTA, not me, at least 18 times that I can count. The bitches are there AT LEAST twice a month. I thought about the fact that before I moved back to Atlanta they were always staying with another friend until he got tired of them. But there is nothing else to think about because I took my keys back from the hoes! I will not be used as a free hotel anymore.
And after thinking about the my friendship with Beatmug, I don't know if I truly want it to continue. I have to think some more about that.
My Health:
Me+Pollen=Allergy problems and headaches. When I got off of the plane from Canada on last Tuesday and got to my car I knew that I would have a problem. It was covered in pollen. If I could stop breathing during the spring, I would. I had a headached before I even got home. I went to the doctor on Thursday and was prescribed Flonase.
I have also been diagnosed (again) with hypertension. My average blood pressure is 161/88. The other day when I took a measurement, it was 170/102. For this, I was prescribed Zestril. Let's just hope that it works. I do not want to have a stroke.
For about 6 years, I have been having panic attacks on and off. There was a period right before I was about to graduate from college where I was having at least 2 per week. I hadn't had one in about 2 years until 2 weeks ago when I was on an airplane. And that is the last place that you want to have a panic attack. For this I was prescribed Xanax. So, now I feel like Karen Walker from Will and Grace with all of these medicines. All I need is a fat husband, lots of money, and some vodka.
So that's been my life for the past few weeks. So now, you all can rest easy that I am alive and well. Expect more post soon.
Dating/Relationships:
As many of you may have guessed, I am/was still seeing VP. I just couldn't get him out of my mind. And on top of that, he told me that he didn't want to end our situation and that he really did love me. Which I believed. After about 2 weeks of calls and seeing each other, he reverted back to his old unreliable self. Yesterday he was deleted from my phone. Now I just need to delete him from my heart and mind.
My Job:
In February, I wrote that my old boss called me about coming back to my old job. I declined because the offered me 4 grand less per year than I asked for. Well, last Friday on my present job, I didn't get a paycheck. Why? Because I didn't work any days in that pay period. This has happened twice so far this year. And it happened 3 times last summer. Now what I want you all to do is imagine missing a paycheck and having to take your last $1000 out of your saving account to cover bills. I started thinking about the fact that since I have been with the job, I have not been able to save any money.
Well, it doesn't matter anymore because I am going back to my old company with a yearly salary. They upped their offer by $2000 in order to get me back. Honestly, the first offer would have been fine, but I now I am glad that I held out. One thing that I have learned from this experience is to be careful not to burn bridges.
My Best Friend:
Beatmug and I are not speaking right now. He really pissed me off on Friday night. Really and Truly pissed me off! Last week, he said that he was coming to Atlanta to visit me, to which he arrived on Friday evening. Each time that he comes to Atlanta, Goofy is always sure to show up also right behind him. They come to Atlanta and stay at my house so much that I gave them keys. There have even been times that they have been there when I was not in town. That's all fine and dandy. As long as they keep my house clean because they know that I will snap if ANYTHING is out of place.
Now to why I am not speaking to Beatmug. Friday night, me him and Goofy went to Tower II, a gay club in Atlanta, GA. We were standing around chillin, talking, and drinking. Goofy points out some cute dude that "standing next to his fat friend." I then said "that could be me since I am cute and Beatmug is the fat friend." Apparently Beatmug got upset and screams "I could talk about your bad ass skin, but I won't." I asked him what the fuck was his muthafucking problem. At that moment, I was baffled because we always call each other fat or skinny or stupid or a whole bunch of other shit. It's all in fun. Any other time I would call him fat, he would say " the only fat part of my is my ass." But this time he got upset and snapped at me. But I let it go.
Later on during the night, I kept noticing that they were having conversations to which I was not privy to. All of a sudden they started laughing really loudly about something. I asked, "what's so funny? I didn't hear a joke." To which Goofy screams (in front of everybody) "because you were not apart of the conversation!" I looked at Beatmug, and he had a look of agreement on his face. I was embarrassed and ready to go! The only problem was that I didn't drive as I usually do so had to wait on Beatmug to be ready to go ( I should have taken a cab).
By the time, we were leaving, my allergies started acting up again. I started sneezing and got the worst sinus headache. I really needed to go home and take my medicine. I let Beatmug know this, but do you think that took me home? No! He drove to another club so that he and Goofy could stand outside and mingle in the crowd. I was so mad that I didn't get out of the car. I just sat in the car holding my head. After 45 minutes of them hoeing, we finally left.
When I got home, I didn't say shit to the bitches. I just went to my room and slammed the door. I started thinking about all the times that we have gone out together. It never occured to me that they always have their own conversations. It also never occured to me that each time they go out to eat or to a party or to the mall or anywhere, I am not a part of the planning. It's always, "do you want to go with US?" Then I thought about the fact that since I moved back to Atlanta last June, they have visited ATLANTA, not me, at least 18 times that I can count. The bitches are there AT LEAST twice a month. I thought about the fact that before I moved back to Atlanta they were always staying with another friend until he got tired of them. But there is nothing else to think about because I took my keys back from the hoes! I will not be used as a free hotel anymore.
And after thinking about the my friendship with Beatmug, I don't know if I truly want it to continue. I have to think some more about that.
My Health:
Me+Pollen=Allergy problems and headaches. When I got off of the plane from Canada on last Tuesday and got to my car I knew that I would have a problem. It was covered in pollen. If I could stop breathing during the spring, I would. I had a headached before I even got home. I went to the doctor on Thursday and was prescribed Flonase.
I have also been diagnosed (again) with hypertension. My average blood pressure is 161/88. The other day when I took a measurement, it was 170/102. For this, I was prescribed Zestril. Let's just hope that it works. I do not want to have a stroke.
For about 6 years, I have been having panic attacks on and off. There was a period right before I was about to graduate from college where I was having at least 2 per week. I hadn't had one in about 2 years until 2 weeks ago when I was on an airplane. And that is the last place that you want to have a panic attack. For this I was prescribed Xanax. So, now I feel like Karen Walker from Will and Grace with all of these medicines. All I need is a fat husband, lots of money, and some vodka.
So that's been my life for the past few weeks. So now, you all can rest easy that I am alive and well. Expect more post soon.
posted by That Dude Right There at
4/04/2006 09:55:00 PM
7 Comments:
It's great you got your old job back and they are paying you more. As far as your "friends" you definetly need to think hard about letting them back into your life. They sound like they just want to use you and that's not okay at all. The next time they visit be sure to make them stay in a hotel even if you are cool with them again.
u know i am sooo very happy for you ... and am glad we got to hang out last weekend. it was great man!
cannot wait for you to get back home!
be good and safe and know that I LOVE YA if no one else does ...
Wow - yea, you've got a lot going on. But I think it's good though. In the long run, you'll look back and these issues with your job, health, and friends won't seem like anything. Besides, you can't become who you are destined to become unless you go through a few things you're destined to experience.
I'm glad you made it back home safe man. Try and take it easy wit ur homie. If friends were easy commodities in life they wouldn't carry us as far in life as they are meant to do. I'm about ready to bitchslap my own homeboi so i kinda feel you on that. However please take care cause nothing you may be going through right now is worth your health.
Sounds like you going through the motions, I can so fucking relate. Don't let that shit stress you out man. That's really all I can tell u, if I had any adivce to give, I wouldn't be in my current situations.
Wow suga! You had/have alot going on! You gotta be careful when your taking abc, def, ghi, and jkl which gives you side effects of mno and pqr so then you have to take stu just for the side effects....so forth and so on! I know a lot of it seems needed but do some research to see if you can cut some of them meds down! I have issues with doctors who think you have to take all these pills to be healthy!
I am glad you got your key back! How they gonna come to visit "you" and leave you hanging? They could have dropped you off home then went whoren' the rest of the night! Or at least called you a cab! Dang!
I will stop here cuz I am gonna end up blogging in your comment box! LOL
Welcome back.
Damn.. there's a lot goin on, and i thought u were still in Moose jaw huntin deers !
I'm sorry bout ur health problems man, stay away from what's giving u allergies and GET SOME REST !
About ur friends, i would have had the same reaction, u were sick and they didn't drive you home ? Don't think about it, just cut them off and let them work extra-hard EARN to ur trust back. if they can't thats just life. U dont need all that drama !
Now about VP.. the best way to get over somebody is with somebody else... i'm not askin u to "hoe around" lol, just to meet other people and realize there r other brothas out there.. and one of them might be better 4 u !
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