Monday, April 10, 2006


So, I was reading this post over at Cash's blog and it got me to thinking about something.

I can't remember if I have mentioned it or not, but I am getting a roommate at the middle to end of May. I will from now on call him Zulu. I have known Zulu for about 2 years now and he is a great guy. I actually use to have a crush on him a while back and if you could see him, you would know why. But I got over that quickly after a few conversations with him. He can be quite blonde at times. Anyway, he pays his bills on time and he keeps his present apartment clean. That's enough for me.

We were watching an episode of some show where some girl slept with her friend's boyfriend. He asked me if I would ever leave my boyfriend alone with one of my friends. To this I replied "yes, why not?" He looked shocked and amazed at my answer and told me that he would never, under any circumstance leave any of his friends alone with his boyfriend. I asked him, "so when we move in together and you need to run to the store, you would take your boyfriend with you?" He replied in the affirmative. "Even if he was asleep you would awaken him?" Once again, he replied in the affirmative.

Now, I didn't take this personally because he said that it would be the same for any of his friends. The question that I never had a chance to ask him was if it was because he has a lack of trust in his friends or that he has a lack of trust in his boyfriend. My stance is that ANYONE that you can't trust needs to be out of your life. Although my mother had a saying that "you don't trust friends with men or money," I don't follow this it. I could lend a friend money as well as leave him/her with my boyfriend/partner/SO/lover. I don't deal with people that I can't trust.

The last thing that I worry about a boyrfriend doing is cheating. Which means that I don't even think about my boyfriend cheating with a friend. But if it did happen, you can believe that I would be upset and would probably go postal (yet another reason that I haven't gotten a gun). I have always believed that if 2 people are gonna cheat, they will make a way to do it. But I don't think that leaving my boyfriend with a friend is giving them opportunity. So, unlike Zulu, i'm not gonna worry about this issue.

What do you all have to say about this subject? Have any of you had any experiences in this area?


Blogger Cash S. said...

If I have a friend (or associate) that I know for a fact is a hoe and will do any and everybody, hell naw he won't be left alone with my man. Hell he'd probably never meet my man.

I agree with your moms saying.

9:17 PM, April 10, 2006  
Blogger Bernie said...

Hmmm...I once had an ex cheat on me with someone I thought was a friend. More than a decade later, I've still got trust issues. (But I'm working on it, really.)

Do you think this roommate situation will be long-term or is there a timetable for moving back on your own?

9:17 PM, April 10, 2006  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

Cash, if you know that this "friend" is a hoe, why are you "friends" with him? You obviously don't trust him.

9:53 PM, April 10, 2006  
Blogger Cash S. said...

You're right, I wouldn't trust him. I think I would keep him around just to see who he's with, and that way I can avoid them.

10:20 PM, April 10, 2006  
Blogger 4GOTTEN1 said...

I feel you can definetly your friend and your boyfriend in the same room with out you. If not then there is obviously trust issues, and who's to say that if they wanted to cheat they wouldn't just make plans for later when you are at work or something. You just have to have that trust until your friend proves to you they aren't your friend.

11:28 PM, April 10, 2006  
Blogger Ladynay said...

*sigh* I used to trust people once upon a time.

Like Bernie, I am working on it tho'. I really am.

6:42 AM, April 11, 2006  
Blogger The Captain said...

Trust is an ever building factor that requires fortified effort. Your friend has the usual, down-home teaching that when you leave out the door, so does your mate. We have to start putting trust in friendships, but in relationships too!

If I walk out the room while my mate is with my friends, I should feel comfortable, secure and welcomed to do it freely. If that feeling is not there, then we have a serious problem waiting to errupt.

12:56 AM, April 12, 2006  

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