Saturday, April 08, 2006

Random Thoughts

Here are some random thoughts that are going on in my mind right now.

Why is it that when you put in your notice to leave a job, you can't stop thinking about how you hate it? Here I am in Regina, Saskatchewan. I am bored to death because I have no idea what to do. I really don't want to go anywhere because I am sick of white people staring at me like they have never seen a black person. I run into this all of the time because of the places I have to go. This is just one of the reasons that I hate this job. Twelve more days and I move back to my old job.

I'm moving into an apartment with one of my friends when my lease is up. This will save me about $500 a month. The more I think about it, I realize that I am wasting money living by myself because I am never at home. This way I can share expenses. Now what to do with that extra money?

It's been a week since Beatmug and I have spoken to each other. I honestly don't feel like I am missing anything. I feel like a heaviness has been lifted. I sent that hoe an email explaining why I was so upset. Do you think that bitch ass muthafucka responded. Nope! If I never speak to him again, I would be just fine with that.

I have been fighting the urge to contact VP for the last week. I have started 3 emails and have cancelled each one of them. Each time I get ready to send it or to call him, reality slaps me in the back of the head and I cancel the email or put the phone down.

I did go on a date a few weeks ago and the dude was cool, but I think that I was just trying to get my mind off of that other person. I have been talking to the dude, but I don't see anything happening. I ain't trying to give myself away again.

I am going to stop drinking and there are several reasons. One of those reasons is that I can't seem to lose this last bit of flab around my stomach. Another reason is that I spend too much damn money when I go out (which I am gonna also cut down on).

I would love to stop having sex, but I know that I can't. I love sex like I love myself, but I have had a little too much in the last 12 months. It's been my most active year ever. It's time for my tetra-annual HIV test, and this time I am anxious. I have never felt like that before I took a test. No wonder I haven't had an interest in sex or even masterbation lately.

I have been having the craziest dreams lately. Last night, I dreamt that I was having dinner with the Supreme Court Justices at a cheap buffet. The night before, I had a dream that VP and I got into an argument and he told me that I was just like his "baby momma." Another dream involved me marching in a parade that ran through a mall. Maybe it's the blood pressure medication.

Well that's enough for today. I think that it's nap time.


Blogger Soldier said...

Regina ??? aww man , now i hate ur job too lol, those places r really horrible

what to do with an additional 500 $ a month ? SAVE IT !!!!!!!
(U can use 100 $ out of it if u feel like u would be just a lil more comfortable financially with it.. )

about VP... again, do what feels right... if u send an email and then regret it later u wont do it again lol, but please man... be cautious with what u say to him and/or expect from him, whether u care or not I personally don't want u to be hurt again !

now ur dreams ? no comment lol

9:55 PM, April 08, 2006  
Blogger E said...

Those dreams are quite interesting. I know dreams usually stem from our subconcious thoughts. have traveled to some of the craziest places with that job. I'm glad you're back to your old job too.

12:26 AM, April 09, 2006  
Blogger Ladynay said...

ummmmmm marching through a mall???eating with the justices??? Yeah that's weird boo.

2:50 PM, April 09, 2006  
Blogger Clay said...

i hate when white folks look at you with that "I only see them on TV!" look .. your randon thoughts are really interesting ... i love sex, like i love myself - lol

11:43 PM, April 09, 2006  
Anonymous byron said...

funny post. don't trip too much on the test, tho. we all go through it. these days you can get your results in 20 minutes. No more 2 weeks of agonizing waiting.

9:19 AM, April 10, 2006  
Blogger Jamal K. Franklin said...

Wow - those were random. But you gotta admit - you've been traveling around to bunch of weird places for your job. A whole bunch...

2:17 PM, April 10, 2006  
Blogger antneya said...

Damn those are a lot of Random thoughts....I thought my mind wandered

7:47 PM, April 10, 2006  

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