Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Repost:Brains and Head 9/17/06

Since I was asked to give the rules on SUCKING DICK during my weekend cabin excursion with some friends, I decided to repost this blog entry from September of last year.

Brains and Head
Fuck all of the slang and call it what it is: SUCKING DICK. Some of us do it, some of us don't. Some of us like it, some of us don't. I'm one of those that like doing it and getting it done. But the one thing that I don't like is people that claim to be good at sucking dick, but aren't. And even worse are the ones that don't want to listen when you tell them how to do it. So what i'm gonna do now is to give some hints and clues.

1. The most important thing about sucking dick is breathing. The next time you are giving someone some head, try to notice if you are breathing while you are sucking. Do not hold your breathe! If you don't breathe, then your jaw will get tired along with the rest of your body. Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!

2. They call it SUCKING dick for a reason. It isn't called jacking a dick. It isn't called playing with a dick. It isn't called looking at a dick. It's called SUCKING Dick! When you got a dick in your mouth, you need to put some pressure on it. You have to pretend that it's the best damn thing that you ever tasted! You got to suck on it like a McDonald's Milkshake! But don't suck too hard. You are not a vacuum! You have to use gentle pressure. Dicks are sensitive things. Just ask one.

3. Don't be afraid to let a little spit drip. You got to keep the dick wet. This allows your lips to slide up and down the shaft with ease. If you have a dry mouth, drink some type of citrus juice before you start. Believe me, that will keep your mouth wet as the Atlantic.

4. Use your lips to keep a grip on the dick. There should be no space between them and the object of affection. And there is no such thing as DSLs (Dick Sucking Lips). If you have a pair, then you can suck a dick. Just remember to keep your lips wrapped around the dick at all times. And watch those teeth. If you find yourself scraping his dick with your teeth, use your lips to cover your them. If you want to see a man cry, scrape his dick with your teeth.

5. Use your tongue when you are giving head. When you are going up and down, place your tongue against the shaft and do that up and down motion. Keep the tongue in contact with the dick. When you get tired of sucking, give your jaw and neck a break by licking the head and sides of the dick. And give that sack of balls a lick and a suck too. They don't want to be left out.

6. Use your hands. Especially if you want to see him nut. Grip your dominant hand lightly around the bottom (if it's a long one, grip the middle). When your neck goes down, bring your hand up to meet it. And make sure that you use a little saliva to lubricate your hand. I can't describe how good this feels, but the ones who have had it done, don't have to imagine.

7. Go farther than the head. When you are sucking dick, you have to put more than the head in. Depending on the size of the dick, you need to at least go half way. Any man can tell you that sucking on just the head can make it become sensitive. If you have a sensitive gag reflex, then suck in your stomach when you start to go down the shaft. Now if you plan on putting that thang down your throat, let me tell you something. DO NOT try to swallow or suck when doing this. Just let it slide as far as it will go. And this is the ONLY time that you should hold your breathe. Many a man can attest that getting deep-throated is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Just don't try to rush into it.

8. If a man wants to thrust while you are sucking, hold his hips or ass. DO NOT let him just pound away in your mouth. Some people can't handle a dick going in and out of their mouth at a fast pace. That shit can be hella uncomfortable. You have to control him and make him go a pace that is comfortable for you.

9. When it's nutting time, it's deciding time. Do I catch it or get the hell out of the way? If you are going to catch the nut, then you have to know when it's coming. Don't let that muthafucka surprise you. A suprise nut can cause I disaster, expecially if you have eaten recently. You get my drift? If you are going to catch and swallow it, stop sucking and just let it go directly down your throat. Do not try to collect it in your mouth and then swallow. And lastly, if you are gonna let it fly, do not get that shit in your eye. It can burn and itch like hell!(Disclaimer-It is not advisable to ingest semen. While it is widely accepted that oral sex is safe, diseases can still be acquired by ingesting semen. Only ingest semen if you fully trust your partner).

10. Lastly, ask you partner which technique he likes best. Some like it slow and steady. Some like it fast and raunchy. Some like a lot of spit. Some want it as dry as possible. You have to talk to him and see what's best. But even though he likes one thing, try other techniques. He might find some other things that he likes.

And that's my advice on sucking dick. Please be advised that these are my opinions and are not rooted in scientific fact. Also, it is advisable to use a condom when performing oral sex. Now go out there and make some man's eyes roll back into his head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Now who wants to give advice about taking and giving dick?

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Blogger Cocoa Rican said...

Although I have no problem with sucking a golf ball through a garden hose, I don't particularly care for getting it done...mainly because folks don't know what they're doing. When it has been done great I'm a happy camper, but when it has been wrong, I've spent sleepless nights jumping, cringing and holding myself at the thought of a bad blowjob. Lawd...help me.

7:22 PM, October 09, 2007  
Blogger Cash S. said...

*Turning the printer on...*

7:44 PM, October 09, 2007  
Blogger J said...

Ahhhh I do remember this classic post.

Good advice for a sista too. Who betta to tell u how to suck a dick then somebody who has one.

8:56 PM, October 09, 2007  
Blogger D.LavarJames said...

Havin it done is a WONDERFUL thang!!!

8:42 AM, October 10, 2007  
Blogger bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Suckin dick is a beautiful thing. Getting it sucked is even better!

1:15 PM, October 10, 2007  
Blogger A. Benjamin Irby said...


I'm gonna print this out and leave a copy of it on my nightstand for my gentlemen callers to read.


5:55 PM, October 10, 2007  
Blogger Valentino said...

I know thats right !!!!

11:54 PM, October 10, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Jones said...

You know, when you told me you were an authority, I said, "Hmmm...ok. Here we go again. Another dude who thinks he can teach this wonderful craft."

Well, you proved me wrong. You know I'm as critical as they come, but I can not find one issue with any of this.

I fully endorse this post and its contents from start to finish. Line by line. Word for word.

And this comes from someone equally as qualified.

8:45 AM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger Forge said...

ohhhh....You nasty. LOL

1:22 PM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger One Man’s Opinion said...

My goodness........Question: Can you find a demonstration on YouTube?

Question 2: Has the Captain seen this, because I know he made at you right about now. LOL

1:24 PM, October 11, 2007  
Blogger ThisMightBeMe said...

okay...dr. ruth. lol.

9:48 AM, October 15, 2007  
Blogger yet another black guy said...

lol, "it's not called looking at the dick"! oh you tried to kill me with that one!!

now if only we could get this to be recommended reading in the schools. no head is better than bad head.

10:13 AM, October 23, 2007  

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