I Think I'm Going To Wait
Since I broke up with Hollywood less than a month ago, I have been itching to start dating again. I have even been on those imfamous websites that enable dudes to meet online before meeting in person. I have been letting friends know that I want to date someone. I have even been flirting with dudes more openly than normal.
But today something crossed my mind. I'm not over Hollywood. I'm not even close to being over him. I'm at that stage where I still think that we can get back together and make things work. I was thinking today that I still want to have sex with him (it was pretty good). But I know that can't happen because of how I feel.
I hear a lot of brotha (and sistahs) mention that they don't want to date someone with "baggage"?. But how in the hell do you let go of it? We all have it. When I have had a bad breakup, it's been easy. But Hollywood and I had a somewhat amicable breakup that didn't involve anything negative. We both agreed that it wasn't working out and that we shoudl split.
And after the breakup, I was ready to date again. But was/am I really ready? Should I start dating and let people know that I am in the process of getting over a relationship? Should I date and not tell potentials that I recently broke up with someone? Should I not date?
I recently met a dude online that seems to have all of the ideals of the kind of person that I want to date. Since I have been traveling, I haven't met him in person, but we have been talking on the phone just about every day. I was thinking that maybe I should try to give it a chance. But when my phone beeped today and I saw "HOLLYWOOD" and "TEXT MESSAGE" on the screen, it hit me that maybe I shouldn't be trying to get back in the game.
I don't want anyone to be a rebound as I wouldn't want to be one either. So right now, I think that I am gonna try to take a break from the brothas. It probably won't last long before I'm blogging about the newest guy that i'm dating.
But today something crossed my mind. I'm not over Hollywood. I'm not even close to being over him. I'm at that stage where I still think that we can get back together and make things work. I was thinking today that I still want to have sex with him (it was pretty good). But I know that can't happen because of how I feel.
I hear a lot of brotha (and sistahs) mention that they don't want to date someone with "baggage"?. But how in the hell do you let go of it? We all have it. When I have had a bad breakup, it's been easy. But Hollywood and I had a somewhat amicable breakup that didn't involve anything negative. We both agreed that it wasn't working out and that we shoudl split.
And after the breakup, I was ready to date again. But was/am I really ready? Should I start dating and let people know that I am in the process of getting over a relationship? Should I date and not tell potentials that I recently broke up with someone? Should I not date?
I recently met a dude online that seems to have all of the ideals of the kind of person that I want to date. Since I have been traveling, I haven't met him in person, but we have been talking on the phone just about every day. I was thinking that maybe I should try to give it a chance. But when my phone beeped today and I saw "HOLLYWOOD" and "TEXT MESSAGE" on the screen, it hit me that maybe I shouldn't be trying to get back in the game.
I don't want anyone to be a rebound as I wouldn't want to be one either. So right now, I think that I am gonna try to take a break from the brothas. It probably won't last long before I'm blogging about the newest guy that i'm dating.
Labels: Dating, Love, Relationships
posted by That Dude Right There at
10/17/2007 09:22:00 PM
11 Comments:
Primarily, it is a hard task for men to submit, let alone, two men submitting to one another. This is the cardinal reason why gay relationships don't work with men.
Wait! Don't rush back into the dating scene!
As you continue to sing my life with your words, I'd suggest waiting a minute. Right now I'd say you're just looking to fill that empty space with someone new. You had gotten use to having Hollywood there, now he's gone, and you want to fill the void.
If you aren't completely over Hollywood, I doubt you'd be able to give all of you to someone new. Take your time.
I agree, you need to give yourself a moment to breahte and figure out all of the emotions and feelings you have towards Hollywood. Make a conscious(sp?) effort to decide whether you want to be dating again, get back with Hollywood, or just allocated some time for yourself. Whatever your decision just make a clear choice that you are 100% sure with.
How long were you and Hollywood together?
As someone who's in an up and down relationship, there are times when I wouldn't mind bein in your position, back single and enjoying it, so don't rush to get back into dating. Sometimes you need to step back and enjoy the time that you have to do what you want.
And EVERYONE has baggage, whether it be from a breakup, to a job, to just other things in general, so don't let that deter you from finding someone.
But in time, things will get better and you'll move on.
Date... what's the big deal? You're not getting married or moving in together, you're simply testing the waters. Unless Hollywood is texting or calling about what a HUGE mistake it was to let you get away, stop holding a torch for the brotha. It's the if-you-love-someone-set-them-free concept. Has he come back? Well, has he? 'nuff said...
Time to have some fun with Mr. Right-Now.
Cocoa - I swear me and you are brothas from another mother. You always beat me to the punch.
Experience tells me that the only way to truly get over somebody is to find someone else to occupy your time. IIRC, you told me that too TDRT.
i say go for it but leave the baggage at home.
You know...I'd probably find me a hottie to rock my world and have them be the rebound. But definitely don't rush into another relationship.
Um - you're not ready to date. Don't do it. Guys can't date and have it just be that...a date. Feelings ALWAYS get involved and you're not ready for that. Here's the key rule - if you think you're not close to being over Hollywood - don't get w/someone else. You'll never be completely over him, but you can be close as hell to crossing the finish line versus just leaving the start of the race.
Only you can decide when it's right, N. If you're not ready to date, then don't. Different people take varying amounts of time to mourn the loss of the previous relationship. It's ok to mope a bit. You'll live.
man take some time to get your mind right first. the previous relationship is going to replay itself in your head a thousand times over as you examine the heck out of it.
chill for a bit, but don't turn down anybody you have good chemistry with.
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