After Thinking About It...
I had to tell everyone thanks for commenting on the post about my nieces and the time that we spent together.
Spending time with them let me know that it's not all about me and what I want. Just the fact that I couldn't fall asleep until I knew that they were safely asleep truly made me feel good. It made me feel responsible.
As I have said countless times, I do want to have kids of my own one day through the adoption process. And since the state of Georgia is not favorable to gay persons adopting children, I may move back to Illinois, or even to California or Massachusetts. But just the experience of having kids will outway anything else.
Just seeing the joy in their face when the looked at me to pick them up, or get something to eat or take a picture makes my heart melt. I love kids.
I know that I sound like a sentimental old sap, but I don't care. I just had to let this out.
I'm also glad that I have a few of you paying attention to gay parents. I love it when I can help people open their eyes to see something that they didn't notice before.
Spending time with them let me know that it's not all about me and what I want. Just the fact that I couldn't fall asleep until I knew that they were safely asleep truly made me feel good. It made me feel responsible.
As I have said countless times, I do want to have kids of my own one day through the adoption process. And since the state of Georgia is not favorable to gay persons adopting children, I may move back to Illinois, or even to California or Massachusetts. But just the experience of having kids will outway anything else.
Just seeing the joy in their face when the looked at me to pick them up, or get something to eat or take a picture makes my heart melt. I love kids.
I know that I sound like a sentimental old sap, but I don't care. I just had to let this out.
I'm also glad that I have a few of you paying attention to gay parents. I love it when I can help people open their eyes to see something that they didn't notice before.
posted by That Dude Right There at
3/26/2007 02:40:00 PM
6 Comments:
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thanks for your comment on my post. I did watch Life Support. That's what made me write that post.
Norris, as another gay man who has been trying to adopt a child for more than 10 years, and in a lot more gay friendly state than Georgia, let me tell you - it's not easy to find a child as a gay man. In the Chicago area you might have better odds. As a gay couple, it would be a little better, but even so, it's tough. While "the system" claims to not discriminate, it still does. I'm old enough now my options have become rather limited (my own assessment.) You're young yet. I would urge you to consider a surrogate mother. The going rate is about $10,000. That's not too much, really. You'd have to deal with the baby stuff, and that's really hard to do on your own. But you'd have the reward of having your own biological connection, and there would be a stronger legal bond. I wish I had done this years ago - a lesbian couple volunteered to be mother to my child, but I chickened out. Much to my own detriment today.
Good luck, however it goes. It's so nice to know of another gay man who wants to be a dad.
@Steve- Adoption is the way that I want to have children. The reason I feel so strongly about adoption is because I was adopted. In addition, there are more black male children in adoption agencies than any other demographic of children. I want to at least take 2 of them out of that system.
As far as a surrogate mother is concerned, NO. I have seen stories on LOGO of a couple who tried that. When the child was born, she sued them for custody. Now they have to share custody of the child.
Understood, and your motives are wonderful. Having been in the system, you know the landscape. It kills me that so many little black boys are in the system - no further evidence of the racism of our society is required than to look through the waiting children and see who is represented in greatest numbers. I wish you good luck and god speed in your quest.
I have thought about the surrogate mother option. I know the potential legal problems abound but I'm almost thinking it might be good to occasionally have the mother (which is why the selection process is so critical) be a part of the child's life...that way they'd at least know where they come from.
It's sad how hard the adoption process is..considering so many kids need love and attention. Granted they have to screen carefully so no one that would harm the child gets them, but still.
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