Shocked and Amazed

Who would have guess that as soon as I finished and posted my last post that I would want to delete it. But I am not one to delete post.

I had to let VP out to pasture when he did something that I can't and won't put up with. The nigga called me out of my name. And in a text message at that. Here is the story.

On Friday I sent VP a text message telling him that I missed him and wanted to see him.

Me: I miss you and want to see you today.

VP: Plz don't sent messages like that to this phone. Someone might read them.

Me: OOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKK!

So at this point I am thinking "since when has he been worried about text messages. I know that he has to leave his phone at the nurses station on his part-time job, but why not just turn it off. So I just let this one go and went on about my day.

Later that day, I sent him what I thought was an innocent message

Me: I am going to Birmingham for the weekend, call me later.

VP: Didn't I tell you not to send messages like that to this phone.

So again, I am thinking "what's his problem"? Saturday morning when I called him we talked, but not about the text message thing. I didn't even bring it up.

Sunday evening when I got back home, I sat and listened to some music and then called him. No answer. I left a message asking him to call me. Two hours later, he still had not called me. I knew that he was not at either job, so I sent him a text message.

Me: I need some loving. I'm lonely.

VP: Didn't I tell your stupid ass not to send message like that to this phone.

Me: That wasn't necessary you bastard. Who the fuck is gonna be looking at your text messages any damn way?

I have a both a shocked look and an amazed look. When I saw his message, I did both at the same time. I just looked at the phone in confusion. He had never said anything like that to me before and I have no idea why he would now. But other shit went through my mind.

First being that this was the first sign of some kind of abuse. I am by far no expert on domestic abuse, but I know that it starts with name-calling. And I don't want to be known as "the man that killed his partner for beating him".

Second, I have never put up with this much from any man. I was trying to be patient, but the more I though about it, I realized that I am not happy in this situation. I only stayed because I am tired of ending situations at the first sign of trouble. So I said that I was gonna hold onto this one until I was sure of what was gonna happen.

Third, an aquaintance of mine told me that he use to date VP years back and he was the same way. Didn't return calls, never wanted to go out, and was just totally inconsistent. I wish that he had told me this 4 months ago.

Now I know that this situation is not gonna make it. I don't ever want to speak to him again. But the strange thing is that I feel that if he calls and has a good excuse, I would forgive and forget. But when I come to my senses and think about the fact that I am not happy in this situation, I say "fuck that"!

Song of the Day-Luther Vandross "It's Over Now"