Sunday, December 04, 2005

Spare Tire

When I finished my last post, I mentioned a quote that says that "Men are like tires. You should always have a spare." I don't know where I got this from, but i'm only gonna get run flat tires from now on. No need for a spare.

I left off telling you about the two dates that VP broke. Quite a few people have told me to dump him and move on because of this. I want everyone to understand that I am trying to go into this situation differently. In previous situations, I would have dumped a guy at the first sign of trouble. That modus operandi wasn't working at all. Yes, I was pissed, but VP apologized on both occastions. We have talked about it and I am gonna be patient with this situation.
Also, he is not DL or deeply closeted as I may have implied. He is just not out to his mother.

Now for the spare tire. Last Saturday, I met a guy who I will call Infiniti. He and I immediatley clicked. We went on an unplanned date where we went to a bookstore to get a new novel by Dayne Avery titled "I Wrote This Song" and also went to a nice little restaurant called Einsteins in Midtown Atlanta. I had a really good time with him talking and laughing. We then went back to my place and talked some more. I explained to him that I was seeing someone and he said that he was all right with that because he just wanted to meet someone who was cool. He said that he was cool with the fact that I was already seeing someone and knew what he was getting himself into. I told him that I was making him no promises. It occurred to me that Infiniti was liking me and me him.

The drawback with him is that he claims to be deeply closeted. He also claims to never have seriously dated a guy before which also means that he has never sustained a relationship with a guy either. He says that his situations with men have only been sexual because he has not met anyone that he wanted to continue to date. Until me.

I honestly should not have even met him because I am trying to cultivate something with VP. But I was bored and a man asked me to go out with him. So that's what I did. But I never figured that I would really like the guy and he said the same about me. But it happened anyway.
Last Tuesday night I told VP about my date and of course he got upset. But he tried to play the "you're grown and can do whatever you want to do" game with me, but I knew that he was pissed. I didn't feel guiltly about my date because there is no committment between us and that's what I told him. We didn't talk again until Thursday when he called me. I guess that going out with someone else made him jealous because he has called me at least twice a day everyday. That led up to him promising to see me on Friday night and aborted date #2. I decided to give myself 2 days before I talked to him at that point. I have a tendency to go off when I get upset and didn't want that to happen. Remember, I am trying to do differently.

Last night when I got in from the club, Infiniti called me and asked me to come over, and I did. We slept and then got up, talked, and watched football for a while. While I was there, VP called me and I didn't answer. Infiniti asked me how I felt about VP and I told him that I really did like him. He said that it seems like I am holding onto a last glimmer of hope that it will work out with VP. I then left and went home. I sent him a text message thanking him for being as cool as he has been and also to let him know that his comment kinda got to me. He sent me one back saying "whatever." I was confused and sent him back one asking "what." He sent me one back saying that he was pissed at me because I still wanted to see VP. I just looked at the phone thinking "what the hell is wrong with these damn muthafuckas these days." First he says that he has no issue with seeing me even though I am already seeing someone, and then he has an issue with it one week later. I sent him a message saying that I would talk to him later and received on back saying tht he was pissed and didn't feel like talking to me. Well, another bites the dust.

I talked to VP about our aborted date today and he apologized. He says that he had fallen asleep by the time I had called. My first instinct was to call him a liar, but I thought about the fact that it is plausible that he could have fallen asleep since he had worked 13 hours that day. I can't prove that he wasn't asleep and that he was blowing me off. If he says that he was asleep, then I'll accept that. I don't have to believe it, but I will accept that and let the mishap go. I'll say once again that I am doing things differently this time. I'm tired of being suspicious about everything.

Although he has missed 2 dates, I am gonna continue seeing him. I understand you all's concerns and I do keep my eyes open. Remember that Berlin Wall that I spoke of? I really do like this guy and it is difficult to convey all of the occurences between us on this blog. If you all could see our interactions, you would understand why I like him and want to continue seeing him.

So all in all, there will be no more spare tires and I am gonna continue seeing VP so see how it plays out.


Blogger LandFall said...

Just be careful. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve and don't see what you want to see just because that's what you want to see.

12:57 AM, December 05, 2005  
Blogger Soulful Real said...

im also in a situation with this one kat who plays these same games. im kind of tired of the mixed messages and when hes out he has a constant need to text me

the problem i have with the texting is that after a while its like "why cant u just pick up the phone and call me?"

im not a big texter because it is extremely time consuming but my SO insists on doin it sometimes and i cant help to wonder is it because he is somewhere when he cant talk. although we dont have a committment he sure does a whole lot of sneaking around. hes not computer saavy, but could probably start his own blog with the stories i be hearing sometimes.

to sum it up, games are tired but its almost like it comes with the package wit alot of the hansome kats in my city

2:25 AM, December 05, 2005  
Blogger Ladynay said...

Good luck with that.

7:27 AM, December 05, 2005  
Blogger E said...

I hear what you're saying. As for Infiniti, I guess he had more feelings for you than he originally let on. He probably didn't let it on because of your relationship with VP.

And I hear you about not tripping over VP's excuse of sleeping. It is a possible explanation and yeah there's no way you can prove it either way.

The key is how does he plan on making it up to you...:-)

9:26 AM, December 05, 2005  
Blogger K Kaos said...

Just follow ur first instincts and take a chance. It's just life.

11:25 AM, December 05, 2005  
Anonymous Bernie said...

People need to be clear that until both parties agree that they want to see each other exclusively, they both have the freedom to see other people. This territorialism seems unwarranted considering the stage you're at with both guys.

11:29 AM, December 05, 2005  
Blogger No4real4real said...

At least you was up front with Infiniti. He will get over it. It is funny how cats do try to change you even when you let them know of your intentions from the jump.

11:46 PM, December 05, 2005  

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