The Inevitable
When I last blogged about VP, I was delighted with him and all of his wonderment. I felt like he was what I wanted and needed in a partner/spouse/husband. Now in spite of what you may think already, I still feel that way. But there have been 2 issues that have gotten on my nerves the last 2 weeks.
Issue 1: His mother has been in town since the Sunday before Thanksgiving. She has no idea that he is gay and he wants it to stay that way. I don't have a problem with that because it's his issue to deal with. Of course, I can't spend the night with him since she is there, so that is not the issue. The issue is that today makes 2 weeks since I have seen him. Now granted, I was out of town for 5 days, but I still have not seen him. Now, I can't go over to his house within his mother getting in our business, but what is wrong with him coming over to my house. I understand that he works 10-12 hours a day, but I still don't think that that's an excuse.
Issue 2: He has broken 2 dates that we set up. We have known each other for a month now and have yet to do anything outside of the house. Now I enjoy laying up with him and watching a movie or 2, but I want to do something outside of the house. The broken date occured last Friday. He called me and told me that he was heading to a friend's house for a get together and wanted me to meet him there. He told me that he would call me when he got there and give me directions. I was cool with that. I got up and took a shower, ironed the jeans and shirt, and waited for him to call me back. This was at 11pm. By 1 am, I realized that I had been waiting and hadn't gotten a call back. I was not about to call him, so I sent a text message telling him that I was going to bed. I talked to him MONDAY when I got to Arizona and he said that he thought that I said that I would call him. What fucking sense does that make? Somebody please tell me, cause a brotha is at a loss on that one.
My theory: He saw some little fella with a better ass or bigger muscles and forgot about my tight cute ass and newly formed muscles.
The second date that he broke was last night. He called about 7 and told me that he wanted to come over once he got home and took a shower. I told him that I had friends staying at my house and that we were gonna head to THE CLUB about midnight. He got a little miffed because the night before, he told me that he would be coming to see me, but after the first incident, I went ahead and made alternate plans. I told him that I wouldn't go out if he was coming over and he told me to call him at midnight when my boys left for the club. So I did. And you can guess that I didn't get an answer, but the little white lady on the voice mail sounded so nice telling me that he wasn't available. So, I put on the baggy blue jeans, clean white t-shirt, blue and white track jacket, blue and white belt, and blue and white shoes. Then I jumped in the blue Maxima and headed to the club. I wasn't even mad, disappointed, or upset.
Now at this point, I keep thinking that maybe I should let his ass go. The first issue I can deal with because the Moms will be gone when I get back from my next trip. But the second issue seems like it will become a recurring problem. What do you all think I should do.?
I'm not stressed about it because like I have said before, "Men are like tires. You always keep a spare." I'll explain that one later.
Issue 1: His mother has been in town since the Sunday before Thanksgiving. She has no idea that he is gay and he wants it to stay that way. I don't have a problem with that because it's his issue to deal with. Of course, I can't spend the night with him since she is there, so that is not the issue. The issue is that today makes 2 weeks since I have seen him. Now granted, I was out of town for 5 days, but I still have not seen him. Now, I can't go over to his house within his mother getting in our business, but what is wrong with him coming over to my house. I understand that he works 10-12 hours a day, but I still don't think that that's an excuse.
Issue 2: He has broken 2 dates that we set up. We have known each other for a month now and have yet to do anything outside of the house. Now I enjoy laying up with him and watching a movie or 2, but I want to do something outside of the house. The broken date occured last Friday. He called me and told me that he was heading to a friend's house for a get together and wanted me to meet him there. He told me that he would call me when he got there and give me directions. I was cool with that. I got up and took a shower, ironed the jeans and shirt, and waited for him to call me back. This was at 11pm. By 1 am, I realized that I had been waiting and hadn't gotten a call back. I was not about to call him, so I sent a text message telling him that I was going to bed. I talked to him MONDAY when I got to Arizona and he said that he thought that I said that I would call him. What fucking sense does that make? Somebody please tell me, cause a brotha is at a loss on that one.
My theory: He saw some little fella with a better ass or bigger muscles and forgot about my tight cute ass and newly formed muscles.
The second date that he broke was last night. He called about 7 and told me that he wanted to come over once he got home and took a shower. I told him that I had friends staying at my house and that we were gonna head to THE CLUB about midnight. He got a little miffed because the night before, he told me that he would be coming to see me, but after the first incident, I went ahead and made alternate plans. I told him that I wouldn't go out if he was coming over and he told me to call him at midnight when my boys left for the club. So I did. And you can guess that I didn't get an answer, but the little white lady on the voice mail sounded so nice telling me that he wasn't available. So, I put on the baggy blue jeans, clean white t-shirt, blue and white track jacket, blue and white belt, and blue and white shoes. Then I jumped in the blue Maxima and headed to the club. I wasn't even mad, disappointed, or upset.
Now at this point, I keep thinking that maybe I should let his ass go. The first issue I can deal with because the Moms will be gone when I get back from my next trip. But the second issue seems like it will become a recurring problem. What do you all think I should do.?
I'm not stressed about it because like I have said before, "Men are like tires. You always keep a spare." I'll explain that one later.
posted by That Dude Right There at
12/03/2005 02:55:00 PM
7 Comments:
My theory: His not being out will always pose a problem. He may be afraid of ANYONE seeing the two of you out and about and putting 2+2 together.
Until he's comfortable with his sexuality, all activity will happen behind closed doors, never out in public.
I agree w/ bernie.. It doesn't really seem like he is as comfortable with who he is as you are. Maybe you should just come right out and confront him head on about what's really going on. Maybe he will open up to you and let you know what type of game he is tryin' to play. If he still gives you the run around then you will be able to decide whether or not you feel like going thru the BS
ps. I can't wait to here about the spare
you are stressed about it. but you need to tell him to step. get out now while you like him and not more. the b.s. ain't worth it. #1 was annoying but not a deal breaker like you said. but two broken dates? nah. that's not cool. the 3rd time ain't the charm. and we all know people make time for what they want to do so if he wanted to see you in those 2 weeks, he would have.
He may not be the one. I have come to understand that when relationships start out rocky and you have issues in the first month...it will not get better only worse and I am big on keeping your wordwhen you can not do something...and that says a lot about how he feels for you if he does not keep his word and it seems like he is acting like he does not even care.
I co sign with bernie.
Plus he seems to not be a man of his word and that is extremely important in any type of relationship.
He could have at LEAST called and told you the plans changed! I HATE that ish!
Bernie is speaking the truth.
Sadly I concur with the majority. Doomed relationships usually give out clues within the first month. A lot of us likes to deny them or ignore them but then mnoths down the line (if the relationship gets that far), we analyze what signs were there and we go back to that first month.
What it comes down to is how much you're willing to handle. In a way I can feel for VP, since I try to keep a low profile myself. But there's no reason why he shouldn't go out with you period.
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