Temptation Island
As I mentioned in my last post, dudes are coming out of the woodworks asking for dates, sex, and whatever. I swear that this shit just doesn't happen when i'm single. But the minute I start seeing someone that I like, it happens.
Now even though there is no committment, I have decided that CC is the only person that I am going to date and he's actually on the verge of becoming my boyfriend (and vice versa). We actually talked about that just last week. The problem is that when dudes try to holla, it's tempting as hell to give in and holla back. I don't normally date more than one dude at a time, and won't this time, but for some reason, I sometimes want to give in (especially last Sunday). I guess it's just that male *not just gay male* mentality that there is always something better.
I went out with my BeatMug to a private birthday party near downtown Atlanta. I swear to God that I must have had on some gay pheromones because within 10 minutes, my boy Goofy was telling me that So and So wanted to holla at me. I told him to tell So and So that I was attached, but thanks. But that didn't stop So and So from flirting.
Then we headed over to Django's where you are guaranteed a good time. First let me tell you that it was hot as fish grease in that bastard (it was 95 degrees that day). I saw a dude there who was also at the party *damn he was a cutie* and when I tell you that this brotha was sweating bullets, I ain't lying. And believe me, I know sweat (ya'll know I drip sweat like a leaky faucet). !!! So I offered him a napkin since I keep a few in my back pocket. He said thank you and started wiping his forehead. I then headed to the bar. A few minutes later, he tells me "if you weren't taken, I'd ask you on a date". I honestly didn't know what to say to the brotha but "Aww aren't you sweet". Apparently, he had asked BeatMug if I was seeing someone to which BeatMug told him that I was. *Thank goodness for a best friend who knows that I would have liked this one*.
Then I get home, and BeatMug tells me that his ex-boyfriend's best friend had also asked him if I was seeing someone. BeatMug also told him that I was seeing someone.
Now, I ain't gone lie. It's hard as hell to tell someone who's trying to get with you, that you are seeing someone, especially when you are attracted to them. But I can do it because I use the rifle method when dating a brotha. A lot of brothas will date anywone that shows them attention, but not me. I'm looking for a partner in life and I just don't think that dating multiple people allows me to get to know each person on a partnership level. In addition, dating multiple persons can cause hellafied drama if emotions and feelings start to come in to play. Hey, call me a serial monogamist if you think the label fits.
So for now, it's just me and CC. And it seems like it may be that way for a while.
Now even though there is no committment, I have decided that CC is the only person that I am going to date and he's actually on the verge of becoming my boyfriend (and vice versa). We actually talked about that just last week. The problem is that when dudes try to holla, it's tempting as hell to give in and holla back. I don't normally date more than one dude at a time, and won't this time, but for some reason, I sometimes want to give in (especially last Sunday). I guess it's just that male *not just gay male* mentality that there is always something better.
I went out with my BeatMug to a private birthday party near downtown Atlanta. I swear to God that I must have had on some gay pheromones because within 10 minutes, my boy Goofy was telling me that So and So wanted to holla at me. I told him to tell So and So that I was attached, but thanks. But that didn't stop So and So from flirting.
Then we headed over to Django's where you are guaranteed a good time. First let me tell you that it was hot as fish grease in that bastard (it was 95 degrees that day). I saw a dude there who was also at the party *damn he was a cutie* and when I tell you that this brotha was sweating bullets, I ain't lying. And believe me, I know sweat (ya'll know I drip sweat like a leaky faucet). !!! So I offered him a napkin since I keep a few in my back pocket. He said thank you and started wiping his forehead. I then headed to the bar. A few minutes later, he tells me "if you weren't taken, I'd ask you on a date". I honestly didn't know what to say to the brotha but "Aww aren't you sweet". Apparently, he had asked BeatMug if I was seeing someone to which BeatMug told him that I was. *Thank goodness for a best friend who knows that I would have liked this one*.
Then I get home, and BeatMug tells me that his ex-boyfriend's best friend had also asked him if I was seeing someone. BeatMug also told him that I was seeing someone.
Now, I ain't gone lie. It's hard as hell to tell someone who's trying to get with you, that you are seeing someone, especially when you are attracted to them. But I can do it because I use the rifle method when dating a brotha. A lot of brothas will date anywone that shows them attention, but not me. I'm looking for a partner in life and I just don't think that dating multiple people allows me to get to know each person on a partnership level. In addition, dating multiple persons can cause hellafied drama if emotions and feelings start to come in to play. Hey, call me a serial monogamist if you think the label fits.
So for now, it's just me and CC. And it seems like it may be that way for a while.
Labels: Dating, Relationships
posted by That Dude Right There at
6/12/2008 04:42:00 PM
19 Comments:
Heh...that's too funny. It looks like you're doing something right to have guys hollering at you left and right...and these guy are respectful to boot. Hell I'd be tempted too.
Wow, I wish I had that problem! That theory is so true since I'm on the opposite end of that spectrum. Sounds like you two are made for each other ... good luck!
Good for you! i don't know if I could be that strong.
Okay then,...SERIAL MONOGAMIST!
I guess you are a better man than me, because I think that I'm am a shotgun type of person. I've learned that putting all your eggs in one basket, can lead to all your damn eggs being broken.
Now before I go any further, is this the same guy, who you said, that your were not totally sexually compatible, because I have to say, if this is, then sometime down the road, that going to become a huge problem for you. Not saying today, not saying tomorrow, but at sometime. Think about that, before you start to discard.
Now to my next point. I don't think that you should completely discard these men. Not if I was you I would use the female method. Not saying date them, but keep them in your back pocket, for a rainy day. Just because you are seeing someone, doesn't mean, you can't becoem friends, with people, and I mean just that friends. THey say the best relationships, are founded on friendship first.
If things doesn't work out with ole' boy, then determine which of those friends, that you might, if any, can see yourself with, and want to be more than friends. You already know they want to get with you. Ala, the Female Method.
Good for you, TDRT. Seriously. More men need to take a page from your book.
Hmmmmmmmm I'm wit YB&DL. For many many moons I would meet one cool kat and just date them and as evidenced by past events, relationship faltered and I am once again single. I made the decision that I will date this time around. I've never really dated and want to experience it. You're definitely right about the well drying up when you're single. GOT DAMNIT THIS SUCKS!
I Sooo LOVE and Can APPRECIATE Where Your HEART Lies. Ive just relocated to Los Angeles, California, and though Im NOT necessarily looking for a Long Term Relationship, at this Moment, I Only ever date 1 Dude at a time. It allows me to TRULY Focus on the Potential of our Union, as Oppose to having to Divide My Attention in 4 or 5 Directions; shortchanging the potential of Growth.
...and it Rings True, that Dudes Only Come Barking, Once You've already Commited Yourself to a relationship thats Still in its Puppy Stages. DONT YOU JUST HATE THAT?!
It ALWAYS happens like that, as soon as you try to get to know someone one on one everyone is trying to see what's up! *eyeroll*
Nothing wrong with focusing on CC, cuz playing around with too many people can kill you. But YB&DL brings up a good point.
Stay focused on the one that you are with now. It doesn't matter who passes by as long as you have the one that you want.
You are so right...Dont let them break you though... God luck.
Awwww, that's soo nice! I hate that though! I am a flirtatious dude! I always have been! On top of that, I like attention! So, those two combined with going out alone or with friends, that is not a good thing! I leave guys, and on one occassion a woman jaw-dropped. It's sorta a bad thing, but I can't stop it but I do withdraw before things get out of hand!
YEEEESS NORRIS!!! maybe i should've taken your advice at the reunion... when is the make up class?
Gotta admit you have character and wonderful morals. One can truly appreciate a brotha like you whom can stick to just that one man and not even flirt with others on his time. Sounds as if things are much stronger between you and CC.
Yes, whenever you start truly feeling someone, others sense it and want a piece of it for themselves. This is usually the time the ex's come out of the woodworks telling you how much they miss you. Blah blah blah. Pay it dust and stay focused on your current situation. As for the labels, don't allow yourself to be defined by them. Do your thang! Always stand in your light!
I can attest to everything you're saying but at least you are taking CC seriously enough not to ruin it by giving in to the temptation amour.
Hmmmm....I see someone got a # 1, nothing wrong with it at all, take your time and grow with what you got, but in the meantime nothin wrong with people showing love...it's a difference in holla vs hoin'but hey do what you gotta do!
I think its always nice to keep your options open...
;-)
I hope u and Cc continue to get closer and closer. And I feel ya on the "seeing someone but want to See what else is out there". I am like you I will stick with one guy at a time.
You made the right decision. The knuckleheads will always be out there, but if you are trying to make things work with one special knucklehead, it is always a better look.
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