Lose Control
I think that I have figured out one of my biggest issues. I hate to lose control of any situation in my life. I have to know what's going on. I have to know how it will turn out. We have to go the way that I say to. We have to leave when I say we are leaving. We have to eat where I say we are going to eat. I have always been like this. I think that it comes from my mother.
I have issues with trust and that is what causes me to be a control freak. I have never been able to fully trust anybody with anything. There are too many reasons to list, but my childhood background is the number one reason. I have a headache now, so I can't get into that now. But I do promise to get into that later.
For once I just want to lose control and not have to worry about the consequences. And that I am ready to do. I will stop trying to control everything. It's tiring to always be in control because people expect me to know and do everything. I'm ready to relenquish control to someone else.
It'll be hard, but I can do it.
Do you all have any suggestions on what I can do to help
I have issues with trust and that is what causes me to be a control freak. I have never been able to fully trust anybody with anything. There are too many reasons to list, but my childhood background is the number one reason. I have a headache now, so I can't get into that now. But I do promise to get into that later.
For once I just want to lose control and not have to worry about the consequences. And that I am ready to do. I will stop trying to control everything. It's tiring to always be in control because people expect me to know and do everything. I'm ready to relenquish control to someone else.
It'll be hard, but I can do it.
Do you all have any suggestions on what I can do to help
posted by That Dude Right There at
11/02/2005 11:02:00 PM
11 Comments:
Control freak? Well all I can tell you man, is to relax and let someone else drive the bus for a change, you won't crash...trust me.
Sorry for the double post.
i dont think there is anything wrong w. wanting to be in control - many times that says you want your life in order. id rather want to be around someone who wants to be in control rather than someone who wants no control in life. so dont beat yourself up too bad!
Regardless of whether or not you trust others, if you trust in yourself and your ability to handle any situation, then that frees you of the need to control anyone or anything other than your own life. Live in the moment and let whatever happens to happen, knowing that even if things go wrong, you can recover. But also know that short of death you can recover from anything.
Works for me.
I like to be in control as well. Recently, I've been praying on it! Asking for help with letting go and Letting God do the work. It's been working so far.
yeah, it seems i have floaked to and made friends with a lot of control freaks. its not really a bad thing and is apart of who you are, just do not let it get out of hand.
one way to learn to let go is to just do it, do not think about it too much, just be free and thoughtless about it ...
sup Norris...I encourage to let the past go...your childhood, trust issues and all...trust me, when you release those things, your struggles will be of no more...there's nothing wrong with that bad...it's just you have to release
the best way to lose control is to go to a really hot concert or do some hard drugs. i advise against the latter. being in control is not such a bad thing; this comes from someone who has lost control. i wouldnt worry about it too much, unless you find yourself being so selfish that you alienate the people close to you.
The best thing to not remain a control freak is to decide not to be a control freak, and then examine (which from reading your blog you already have),what it is that you fear, and then do the work of realizing that like fear, control is an illusion, that only works when others decide to let you control them.
I agree with Cane.
Coming from someone as undisciplined as me, I think control is a good thing.
I wouldn't be so quick to give up such a desirable commodity. But remember to breathe.
If you can't let anybody around you take the wheel, then maybe it's them who are not responsible enough or it's you not having enough trust in them, and some people (like me) can find the latter very disrepectful...
Maybe you should start with making "half-steps" and let the others do the rest if u really cant let others be in control
Just an example :
Instead of sayin " ok it's time to leave, let's go ", u could let the others know you're ready to go so that they can have time to finish whatever they're doing before leaving, then you have to be patient and give them a little time and everybody's ready then you can leave
It seems like you are on the right track because you recognize a problem...now the task is figuring out how to fix the problem and this is something that you have to figure out yourself. It is an internal thing. You will be ok...hang in there.
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