Saturday, October 22, 2005

Lesson Learned

I truly wasn't gonna right this post, but I feel like I have to. I did something else that I am not proud of. And this was more self-destructive than Lying To Myself. I was actually motivated to write this post by Eric G over at Half & Half, Tit & Tat when he wrote about a similar topic.

What did I do? I had unprotected sex 3 weeks ago. And when I think about it, I have have been doing it for years. But this one particular time, something happened that made me think about what I had been doing. I had met this guy over the internet a couple of weeks prior to the incident and he called me and asked me if I wanted to hook up and play around. I was game for it even though I had just had sex 4 days prior with another dude (i'm single, I can do that). When he got over we talked for a minute and then we decided to get down to business. We started with the usual forplay, the kissing, touching, sucking, and what not. Somehow, we ended up doing a 69 position and were giving each other some head. After about 10 minutes of this, I got the nastiest taste in my mouth. The dude had nutted. Not only had he nutted, but he did it in my mouth. I was livid. And do you want to know why? The bastard didn't even try to tell me that he was cumming. He didn't twitch, mutter, moan, or anything. He just nutted; in my damn mouth.

When I recognized what had happened, I immediately stopped what I was doing and ran to the bathroom to spit it out. I brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth with Listerine twice. I left the light out because I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror. I felt like I should have been working at a whore house in Las Vegas. I wanted to cry and I wanted to whoop his ass for nutting in my mouth, but reason stepped in and calmed me down. After I walked back into the bedroom, he asked me why I ran out like I did. I looked at him in disbelief and yelled "nigga you nutted in my fucking mouth!" He said that he didn't think that I would have a problem with it because I didn't mention it beforehand. I told him that that is just something that not everybody is into. Me being one of them. He apologized for doing it and I calmed down again. I really couldn't be mad at him because he was partially right. I guess he thought that I was gonna jump him because he started putting on his clothes to leave. What happened was partially his fault, but most of it was mine.

It hit me that although I always use a condom during anal sex, I never use one during oral sex. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I have been putting myself at a risk to catch an STD with every dick that I put in my mouth. But it really hit me when 3 days later, my throat started hurting like hell. Well, I did what everybody should do. I ran my ass to an urgent care facility (thank God for insurance) for a full STD screening. I talked to the doctor and told her what happened and she drew blood and took throat cultures to test for syphillis, gonnerhea, and chlamydia. I opted not to take an HIV test because HIV wouldn't surface for up to 6 weeks.

Lucky for me, all of the test came back negative. It turns out that I had strep throat. I was so relieved. But I am not off the hook yet. I have to go back next month for a follow up screening. It can take weeks for any symptoms to show up, so I was advised to watch for any discharges from my unit and check my throat for anything unusual.

There is no need to fuss at me, I know that I have learned my lesson. I will have no kinds of sex without some kind of protection.

11 Comments:

Blogger E said...

I recently started requesting guys put a condom on before I perform oral. I, of course, would have the guy do the same for me. I've gotten a lot of huh reactions so far. One even decided he didn't want to do anything after all. It's a trip.

6:39 PM, October 22, 2005  
Blogger Tim said...

Please be careful yo. I'm not gonna scold you, but just keep in mind that there are more things out there than HIV and AIDS.

Thanks goodness everything came back negative, but I think you should've gotton the HIV test anyway. They say the results will not show up for six weeks, but what we keep forgetting is that the virus can hide for up to ten years. Food for thought.

8:01 PM, October 22, 2005  
Anonymous Bernie said...

The risks of contracting HIV through oral sex are extremely low and such cases are extremely rare. But other STDs can be transmitted orally and the other person doesn't need to cum for you to get them.

Balancing sexual pleasure with health risk is never easy. Inform yourself of the facts then make the decision that's right for you.

Here are two resources I find helpful:
The Body and GayHealth.com.

10:52 PM, October 22, 2005  
Blogger That Girl said...

Protect yourself....for real, there is so much out there.

6:31 AM, October 23, 2005  
Blogger ProfessorGQ said...

I should do the same thing...I never thought about putting condomns on for oal sex. Once, I had a major lip swelling because the dude had a dirty dick...it was not cute. Niggas, especially stranger, do not care about you when it comes to sex...they just care about busting a nut. Make sure you protect you and your own because they won't make sure for you. I used to have sex a lot (not going to say how many partners), but I have slowed down a lot for the fear of catching things...not just HIV

4:38 PM, October 23, 2005  
Blogger Blush said...

excellent point. i never think about using a condom during oral sex--mostly because it tastes nasty, and you don't want anything making your job harder. but let me tell you it is NOT your fault that guy nutted in your mouth, that is fucked up. you always ask first. i usually tell them beforehand exactly how i want to handle it. if a guy nutted in my mouth or anywhere else i didnt want him to, id whoop his fucking ass. so no, you were NOT wrong. he got you fucked up.

7:36 PM, October 23, 2005  
Blogger ~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

I think most of us have had these reality checks at some point or another, and the point about risking exposure to things other than HIV/AIDS is excellent. I'm glad this is being discussed coz we are and should be our brother's keeper. That Dude... you'll stay in my prayers for a good report going forward and I'm glad you're not going to beat yourself up.

We all have to keep it wrapped, and keep it movin in the future.

8:17 PM, October 23, 2005  
Blogger *Madosi said...

i have not known you long, but in these past few momnths you have been the most open and honest person i know via blog and i commend you for that.

we all make mistakes and i am proud of you for being able to say i have messed up and did something that maybe i should not have. i am not totally there yet ...

you made a mistake and lerned your lesson for it, which is good. be safe and take care ...

12:18 PM, October 24, 2005  
Blogger Georgiapeach said...

Wow, this is a real ass post. Okay, I am glad you learned your lesson. And I am also glad that you had the sense to get checked out :). I agree with E, men act like you just hurt their feelings when you ask about the condom (for oral). But hell, I have a mouth that needs to be protected, because I don't play that shit!

4:05 PM, October 24, 2005  
Blogger Holiday N said...

STAY safe sweetie,there are a lot of people that think they learned their lesson and get lost in the moment.thanx for your honesty.

12:31 AM, October 26, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Maurice said...

WOW.. similiar incident happened to me before. but it just doesnt feel right sucking a dick with a condom on it and neither does getting my dick sucked with one on it.

6:03 PM, October 27, 2005  

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