Lesson Learned

I truly wasn't gonna right this post, but I feel like I have to. I did something else that I am not proud of. And this was more self-destructive than Lying To Myself. I was actually motivated to write this post by Eric G over at Half & Half, Tit & Tat when he wrote about a similar topic.

What did I do? I had unprotected sex 3 weeks ago. And when I think about it, I have have been doing it for years. But this one particular time, something happened that made me think about what I had been doing. I had met this guy over the internet a couple of weeks prior to the incident and he called me and asked me if I wanted to hook up and play around. I was game for it even though I had just had sex 4 days prior with another dude (i'm single, I can do that). When he got over we talked for a minute and then we decided to get down to business. We started with the usual forplay, the kissing, touching, sucking, and what not. Somehow, we ended up doing a 69 position and were giving each other some head. After about 10 minutes of this, I got the nastiest taste in my mouth. The dude had nutted. Not only had he nutted, but he did it in my mouth. I was livid. And do you want to know why? The bastard didn't even try to tell me that he was cumming. He didn't twitch, mutter, moan, or anything. He just nutted; in my damn mouth.

When I recognized what had happened, I immediately stopped what I was doing and ran to the bathroom to spit it out. I brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth with Listerine twice. I left the light out because I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror. I felt like I should have been working at a whore house in Las Vegas. I wanted to cry and I wanted to whoop his ass for nutting in my mouth, but reason stepped in and calmed me down. After I walked back into the bedroom, he asked me why I ran out like I did. I looked at him in disbelief and yelled "nigga you nutted in my fucking mouth!" He said that he didn't think that I would have a problem with it because I didn't mention it beforehand. I told him that that is just something that not everybody is into. Me being one of them. He apologized for doing it and I calmed down again. I really couldn't be mad at him because he was partially right. I guess he thought that I was gonna jump him because he started putting on his clothes to leave. What happened was partially his fault, but most of it was mine.

It hit me that although I always use a condom during anal sex, I never use one during oral sex. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I have been putting myself at a risk to catch an STD with every dick that I put in my mouth. But it really hit me when 3 days later, my throat started hurting like hell. Well, I did what everybody should do. I ran my ass to an urgent care facility (thank God for insurance) for a full STD screening. I talked to the doctor and told her what happened and she drew blood and took throat cultures to test for syphillis, gonnerhea, and chlamydia. I opted not to take an HIV test because HIV wouldn't surface for up to 6 weeks.

Lucky for me, all of the test came back negative. It turns out that I had strep throat. I was so relieved. But I am not off the hook yet. I have to go back next month for a follow up screening. It can take weeks for any symptoms to show up, so I was advised to watch for any discharges from my unit and check my throat for anything unusual.

There is no need to fuss at me, I know that I have learned my lesson. I will have no kinds of sex without some kind of protection.