Berlin Wall
I usually start my post off with some sort of anecdote that parallells th real topic. But today screw that. If you want to know about the Berlin Wall, click here. Then you can come back and read this entry. This post is gonna be short (relatively) and to the point.
A friend of mine told me a few weeks ago that I was like the Berlin Wall. He said this because of the number of men that I have stopped dating in the past few months. Since the beginning of the year, I have dated about 6 guys. And I have dumped each one of them. My boy believes that as soon as guys start to catch feelings for me, I get rid of them. The reason: they try to get too close, too soon. I don't dish out too much of me too soon. It just ain't gonna happen.
When I meet a man, I don't date him hoping that we fall in love and live happily ever after. Any feelings, attachments, or emotions stay behind that Berlin Wall until I want to tear it down. My intentions for dating him are to get to know him. Not to fall in love instantly. I want to get to know someone before I go falling in love or even start discussing a relationship. I want to check for compatibility. I want to check for bad habits that I can't stand. I want to watch him for signs of mental stability. I want to know his views on certain aspects of life (having children, religion, money, politics). I want to check for reliability and dependability. I want to check the muthafucka's credit.
When I see all of the things that I need to see, then and only then will I begin to tear down the Berling Wall. But just as I begin to tear it down, I can put it back up. Am I the only one that sees things this way? Give me some feedback people.
A friend of mine told me a few weeks ago that I was like the Berlin Wall. He said this because of the number of men that I have stopped dating in the past few months. Since the beginning of the year, I have dated about 6 guys. And I have dumped each one of them. My boy believes that as soon as guys start to catch feelings for me, I get rid of them. The reason: they try to get too close, too soon. I don't dish out too much of me too soon. It just ain't gonna happen.
When I meet a man, I don't date him hoping that we fall in love and live happily ever after. Any feelings, attachments, or emotions stay behind that Berlin Wall until I want to tear it down. My intentions for dating him are to get to know him. Not to fall in love instantly. I want to get to know someone before I go falling in love or even start discussing a relationship. I want to check for compatibility. I want to check for bad habits that I can't stand. I want to watch him for signs of mental stability. I want to know his views on certain aspects of life (having children, religion, money, politics). I want to check for reliability and dependability. I want to check the muthafucka's credit.
When I see all of the things that I need to see, then and only then will I begin to tear down the Berling Wall. But just as I begin to tear it down, I can put it back up. Am I the only one that sees things this way? Give me some feedback people.
posted by That Dude Right There at
9/28/2005 09:48:00 PM
5 Comments:
I don't blame you. I need to build my own Berlin wall. I let guys in way too soon and am way too trusting. Or maybe overly hopeful...*LOL*. Either way, I'm working on it.
interesting ... i am a firm believer that you do what works for you as long as the outcomes are good.
if its a berlin wall you need, then hey go for it. however, if you start to doubt the necessity of the wall, then you need to get rid of it.
personally, i cant have a berlin wall. i honestly do not think it is in my character!
i wish that i could be so controlled. when i really like someone, i lose it.
I do the same thing. I've "investidated" about the same number as you this year and I'm a whole lot happier with my dating life than I was when I wanted to be serious with someone. It's ironic too, how folks jump outta the woodwork tryna lock you down when you're really not feelin it. I think that has a lot to do with fear of being by themselves or a need to conquer more than it does us, tho. Lotta folks want that ego boost... coz they try to get you to eliminate your options before they even really know you. Who has time for that silliness???
Ok i know im late but i had to comment on this one....what your friend calls "the berlin wall" I call PRESCREENING and there is nothing wrong with it as long as you are clear about your intentions with the person from the start. there is no reason why you need to accept anything less than what you want and you have to keep in mind that proper preparation prevents poor performance...keep preparing yourself for the relationship you want and in the meantime keep prescreening and let me know if u need some pointers :)
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