The Ongoing Debate
There is an ongoing debate in the United States. The one that I am speaking of is not one of the “National Debates” that we are sick of hearing about day in and day out. This time, I am not talking about abortion, or the war in Irag, or even Gay Marriage Inclusion. Neither am I talking about the Hurricane Katrina disaster, or healthcare, or Natalie Holloway. This issue that I am talking about is one that has probably never been discussed on the national news level. But we have all talked about or commented on it at some point. For some of us, it’s a daily thought. But for others, it’s never a thought. The issue that I am talking about today is one that involves only a subset of the American populations. OK, enough suspense. I am talking about masculinity and femininity among Black, Gay Men. If I were interviewing some expert on the topic, I have 5 questions that I would ask the interviewee.
Question 1- What makes a person a MAN? I have always wondered this. Is it the biological aspects of a person? A person born male has an X AND a Y chromosome. Is it the anatomical aspects? Some people believe that if the person has a dick, nuts, and an Adam’s apple, the person is a man. Is it the role in life that the person takes? Does taking out the trash, cutting, the grass, and grabbing your crotch make a person a man?
Question 2- What specifically determines masculinity and femininity? Could it be the man’s actions and mannerisms? Is it the style of dress that a man has? Is it the job that a man does? Is it an interest in certain hobbies that makes a man a man (such as sports vs. shopping)? Is it the language that a person uses? What the hell is it? Cause I damn sure don’t know.
Question 3- Is there a scale that measures the two aforementioned traits? How do you determine that one man is more masculine or feminine than another? Is there one scale for femininity and another for masculinity or are both traits measure on the same one? Is the scale the same for men and women? Can a woman measure higher on the masculinity scale than a man? Can a man score higher on the femininity scale than a woman?
Question 4- Is it wrong to desire a mate or date that is of a certain masculinity or femininity? I hear people say that they want a man, and if they wanted a woman, they would get one. I also hear men say that they want a man to be as feminine as possible. Do these people want this because that is what they really want? Or are there external influences affecting these desires.
Question 5- Are hyper-masculinity and hyper-femininity acts or facades that people put on? If so, why do people put on these acts? Is it to impress other people? Is it to get attention? Is it to please society?
These questions aren’t scientific or anything like that. They are just on my mind when I think about how we as Black, Gay, Men associate among each other. If anybody has any answers, respond in the manner that you see fit.
Question 1- What makes a person a MAN? I have always wondered this. Is it the biological aspects of a person? A person born male has an X AND a Y chromosome. Is it the anatomical aspects? Some people believe that if the person has a dick, nuts, and an Adam’s apple, the person is a man. Is it the role in life that the person takes? Does taking out the trash, cutting, the grass, and grabbing your crotch make a person a man?
Question 2- What specifically determines masculinity and femininity? Could it be the man’s actions and mannerisms? Is it the style of dress that a man has? Is it the job that a man does? Is it an interest in certain hobbies that makes a man a man (such as sports vs. shopping)? Is it the language that a person uses? What the hell is it? Cause I damn sure don’t know.
Question 3- Is there a scale that measures the two aforementioned traits? How do you determine that one man is more masculine or feminine than another? Is there one scale for femininity and another for masculinity or are both traits measure on the same one? Is the scale the same for men and women? Can a woman measure higher on the masculinity scale than a man? Can a man score higher on the femininity scale than a woman?
Question 4- Is it wrong to desire a mate or date that is of a certain masculinity or femininity? I hear people say that they want a man, and if they wanted a woman, they would get one. I also hear men say that they want a man to be as feminine as possible. Do these people want this because that is what they really want? Or are there external influences affecting these desires.
Question 5- Are hyper-masculinity and hyper-femininity acts or facades that people put on? If so, why do people put on these acts? Is it to impress other people? Is it to get attention? Is it to please society?
These questions aren’t scientific or anything like that. They are just on my mind when I think about how we as Black, Gay, Men associate among each other. If anybody has any answers, respond in the manner that you see fit.
posted by That Dude Right There at
9/18/2005 09:19:00 PM
3 Comments:
WOW MAN!
Ok, Question 1- What makes a person a MAN?
Good question. My answer this, -- there is no one thing that makes you a man. However, all because you are masculine, thugged out, etc, that does not make you a man. When you grow up, take care of responsible and am able to be truly honest with whom you are to your family and yourself, then you are a man!
Question 2- What specifically determines masculinity and femininity?
Another good question -- do I really have an answer for this one? Hmmmm let me think about it for a moment. I looked it up in the dictionary and it said, “Relating to or having the characteristics that are defined as male.”
Well ok!
Question 3- Is there a scale that measures the two aforementioned traits? How do you determine that one man is more masculine or feminine than another?
If I am to go off of this definition I just read, then yes. If you have the traits of a woman, then you are feminine; the traits of a man determine your masculinity. Very interesting to say the least --
Question 4- Is it wrong to desire a mate or date that is of a certain masculinity or femininity?
No, it is not wrong to have preferences. I think where people try to call people out on their wrong factor is how they treat people who are not what they look for. That whole, must be masculine, discreet, no fats no fems BS!
I am not knocking anyone for what they want, like and desire! But come on people. We – Black/African American, same-gender-loving individuals -- are the most discriminatory beings on this Earth. Think about it!
Question 5- Are hyper-masculinity and hyper-femininity acts or facades that people put on?
Sometimes I just think people are who they are, sometimes it is an act. Why do I say that? Well think about it, some people are not OVER-FEMININE or MACSULINE ALL THE TIME! And you know who I am talking about. We see them. When they are with you they are one way. Then when they get with their peeps, it just flies out of them. What is that all about?
In the end of it all, people, just be true to who you are. Be real and open and accepting of others. And also, give me a damn break!
Ha ha ha ha!
Yo - you should hold a forum on these questions...I'd be there for sure.
WOW. Gettin deep on us early in the morning, aren't you?
At least I wait until after midday to get deep! LOL
But all jokes aside, I agree with Jamal. Hold a forum. I'll be there.
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