Something I Never See
Since I moved back to Atlanta, there is something that I have noticed. There are hardly any Black, Gay, Male, Couples. I see white couples, asian couples, and latino couples, but hardly any Black couples. And when I do see a black man in what appears to be a relationship, he's with someone of another race. I have no problem with that, but I would like to see some black-on-black couples.
What the hell is the deal? Can we not sustain healthy stable relationships? I have seen my share of white couples who have a house, kids, and a life together, but no Black couples with these things. In fact, I only know of 2 black couples that have a life together. One of those couples live in DC and the other couple lives in Chicago. Not in Atlanta.
I am a stouch supporter of love and relationships, but I swear that my faith is beginning to wain. I wonder if there is any hope for me to find a Black, Homosexual man that wants to actually have a life with me, a Black, Homosexual Man? I'm not rushing it, but just wondering if it will ever happen.
What the hell is the deal? Can we not sustain healthy stable relationships? I have seen my share of white couples who have a house, kids, and a life together, but no Black couples with these things. In fact, I only know of 2 black couples that have a life together. One of those couples live in DC and the other couple lives in Chicago. Not in Atlanta.
I am a stouch supporter of love and relationships, but I swear that my faith is beginning to wain. I wonder if there is any hope for me to find a Black, Homosexual man that wants to actually have a life with me, a Black, Homosexual Man? I'm not rushing it, but just wondering if it will ever happen.
posted by That Dude Right There at
9/12/2005 11:59:00 PM
7 Comments:
is it that hard to find,maybe u just can;t see them.=)
maybe the black gay male couples stay at home and don't come out b/c of the backlash in our community! hey.. just a thought.
Chances are they are just not as visible one may expect. The other experience that I have is that two BGM's seen together in public are rarely assumed to be a couple without some form of overt public display of affection.
As a BGM who has been in a relationship for over 7 years, in Atlanta, my best response is that you most likely won't see us (couples) in the traditional spaces that most single men frequent.
Clubs can be hostile to couples, and often, its rare (IMHO) that both people will be comfortable in that arena. I tend to run into more couples at private parties and small gatherings with other couples.
More could be said about being visible and "responsibility" that couples should have to provide positive images, but that could be an entire post in itself.
It will happen, hang in there. I agree they may not be visible.
What Mike said.
I have been in a relationship for more than six years now and i know a lot of other BGM couples (Mike and his partner among them). A few of them that i know have ten-plus years and counting.
I think the question of visibility is important, though. I know these couples exist because i'm one of them and i've been around for awhile, so i know who's who. But i do think that we (the couples) bear some responsibility to show our communities, our brothers, that such relationships are possible and can work, if that's what they want.
Of course, there's that question of whether or not it's really what they want ...
I probably would have said more, but I think Malik and Mike have pretty much echoed my sentiments, especially since Mike is my partner and I've been friends with Malik for more than 10 years.
I completely understand why you would feel this way; it's a popular misconception. As the others mentioned, black gay male couples are not always easy to spot in traditional venues popular with singles. But they do exist - even in Atlanta.
I know a healthy number of black gay couples in Atlanta (hell, I was one of them until some months ago).
I would suggest frequenting more intimate spaces and house gatherings. There's even a social group in Atlanta, Together In Love, that supports such relationships.
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