Getting Myself Together

Dreams Deferred

2010-07-14T16:53:00.002-05:00

Well, as surely as it was started it has ended. We were enjoying each other, we formed a relationship and then made the decision to move in together. But i'll be damned if the anything ever works our for me.

Two weeks ago, Nelson informed me that he had been been seeing someone else, but had broken it off soon after. Well, I was shocked, but then again I wasn't. I knew that something had been going on about a month after we moved in together. His demeanor towards me changed. Daily phone calls from work stopped. The multiple daily text messages he would send stopped. My text messages to him went unanswered and he would claim that he didn't get them (I knew he was, but he was deleting them, but his phone kept them in a trash folder. When we laid down to sleep, he wouldn't hug me. The only physical affection I got was a kiss before he went to work. So I knew that something was going on.

About 2 weeks before that fateful day when he finally confessed, I sat him down and expressed my concerns and explained my observations. He insulted my intelligence by proclaiming that he hadn't changed and he had been doing the things that he had been doing before. I let it go until the next week.

I was at my part-time job and got a text that he was going out for his birthday that began at midnight. I was a little pissed because I wanted him to be with me when the clock struck midnight so that I could give him his gift and celebrate with him. I let that go, but my mind kept wondering. Well I woke up at 5:45am and he wasn't there. Me being the person that I am started worrying. I called him 7 times in a 3 hour period. Finally I texted one of his friends and asked where he was. The friend said that Nelson had gotten drunk and was staying at his house. My intuition said that was a crock of shit and to this day I believe that it was.

So I get up and head to renew my driver's license and when I got back home, guess who was there. I asked him why he hadn't called me back after 7 missed calls to let me know that he was ok. He looked to the side and said he didn't call because he would see me when he got home. That's when I knew he was lying. I stared at him in shocked. I once again asked him what the problem was between us and cif he was seeing someone else. He once again lied and said there was no problem and that he wasn't seeing anyone else.

Well we went through his birthday weekend as though things were normal and then a week later he confessed when I asked him again. I wasn't giving up until he told me what the problem was.

He told me that he met some guy (he of course wouldn't tell who the person was) and went on a couple dates with him (he says they never had sexand he never brought the guy to the house). He told me that through that dude he realized that I wasn't the person that he wanted to be with and after the second date with dude, realized the same about him. He summed it up by saying that he just didn't want to be in a relationship anymore.

To say that I was crushed would be an understatement. To be cheated on and dumped is some bullshit. I could go on and on, but I just can't right now because i'm starting to cry all over again.

And that about sums it up. Oh, did I forget to mention that we had signed a yearlong lease and are stuck with each other for 9.5 months?

Moving On Up!!!

2010-04-21T20:11:00.008-05:00

Here is the house!!!! I'm so excited about moving in with Nelson (no more aliases needed). We only looked at 4 houses and this one was the first one that we saw. After looking at all of the rest, this was the one that we both agreed on. I wanted the one in the tennis community and he wanted the one that was almost 3000 sq ft. He thought the one in the tennis community was too far away and I thought the 3000 sq ft was too big. So we talked about what we both needed and wanted and this one was the one that stood out!! It's 4br, 2.5ba and about 1900 sq ft. I can't wait to furnish and decorate!!

Update 4/1/2010

2010-04-05T21:08:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I have been missing from blogland for quite a while. Don't ask me why, but blogging lost it's luster. I barely even read them anymore. But I think it was a Mary J. Blige kinda thing. As long as I was not so happy, I had something to blog about. Now that happiness is a part of my life, I don't feel like I have as much to talk about.

But anyway...on to the updates of which there aren't many.

1. GE and I are moving in together after only 5 months of dating. Yeah, yeah I know it's soon, but you know what? We love each other and it's something that we are both comfortable with and want to do. I've thought about this for a few weeks and we've discussed it and we have decided to do it. We have decided to lease a house (no more apartments for me) for a year and if things are going well, we will buy one after that.

2. I'm getting closer and closer to getting out of debt. Paying the most I can each month keeps me broke, but I should be credit card debt free within the next 6 months. I'll keep the 2 cards that I use open and pay them off monthly.

3. I have really been enjoying life and making sure that I keep a smile of my face. I learned that happiness is a decision and I decided to be happy. I've been hanging out with my friends a lot more and that has a lot to do with it. They keep my laughing and drinking.

4. After months of speculation, we are about to find out what's happening with my company. Either we will finally work for Hilton or be switched to yet another contract company. There are rumblings that either way we would all be getting pay raises that are competitive with other companies.

5. I still haven't gotten my weight where I want it and i'm back up to 210lbs where I was when I started this blog almost 5 years ago. I just don't have the motivation to work out like I used too. But with this second cruise coming up in October I need to really get on the ball. Luckily it's Spring so I can get back on the tennis court again. And when we move, there will be an LA Fitness right next to the subdivision. Let's hope that helps.

That's all for now, but I wanted to start back on the blog trail and this is something. Let's see if I can post again before the week is over.

Yes...

2010-03-31T23:12:00.002-05:00

...I am going to get back into blogging really soon. I just had to take some time to get some things together. But meeting a reader of my blog at a party Saturday has me ready to get back into it.

I've Decided to Purchase...

2010-02-03T13:35:00.004-05:00

...a handgun. Yes, i finally made the decision to do it. For years, i've said that I wouldn't get one because I didn't want to ever have to use it, but things have changed. Two weeks ago, I came home to my apartment complex to find 6 police cars outside my building. They were pretty mum on telling us what exactly went on, but I found out that one of my neighbors had been the victim of a home invasion and sexual assault. I'm not sure of all of the details, but as of now, she is doing ok.

So i'm in the market for a handgun and I just have to do some research to find out what kind I should get.

Any suggestion?

For The First Time In My Life...

2010-01-03T15:20:00.002-05:00

...I have had the word "nigger" hurled at me from the mouth of a white person. Here's what happened.

I was leaving a gas station waiting to turn left into traffic. Behind me was a white guy driving a black Chevy Tahoe. I guess he thought that I wasn't moving fast enough for me so he tried to go around me. As soon as he turned to go around me, traffic cleared and I pulled out into traffic. I had no idea that I had done something "wrong".

I get to the next traffic light to turn left to get on the interstate and the light is red. I was the second car in line to turn. I noticed the black Tahoe in the right lane next to me waiting to go straight. Just as the light turned green for both of us to proceed, he let's down his window and screams "NIGGER" and floors it away. Because my music was up, I could barely here him, but my eyes could read his mouth clearly.

To my own surprise, I burst out laughing as I made my left turn and laughed for about 10 minutes. I laughed because people still think that calling Black people that word still stings. It may sting to other people, but not me. That doesn't hurt my feelings at all. If you want to hurt my feelings, tell me that I the clearance rack at Banana Republic is gone!

Now I must admit that once I stopped laughing 10 minutes later, I did get upset. I didn't get upset that there are some people who just don't have a clue. They act as though the world still is and always will be ruled by white people. What gave that bastard the idea that he had the privilege to just go around me when I had the right of way. I'm sure if it had been another white person, he wouldn't have tried it. But my second thought was that I am glad that I don't own a firearm. I'm pretty sure that I would have followed his ass and done something regrettable.

But what strikes me as odd is that when I posted this on Facebook, I got a few comments that people feel like occurences of this type don't happen in their parts of the country. I think that people really need to wake up because racism and prejudice occur all over. Recognize and fight it and the world could be a better place.

I Just Realized That...

2009-11-30T22:28:00.003-05:00

...whenever I start dating someone consistently I gain weight. I stepped on the scale last week and it read 202lbs. Yes people, I have gained back 10 of the 14 lbs that I lost over the summer.

I thought about way back in college when Dreads and I started dating, I gained weight.

When Chicago and I started dating back in 02, I gained weight.

When VP and I started fucking, I gained weight.

When Hollywood and I started dating I gained weight.

When CC and I started dating, I gained weight.

And now that GE and I have started dating, I have gained weight.

I started wondering why the hell this happens and it didn't take long to figure it out. Most dates include food and drinks. Plain and simple. The other night, GE and I were watching TV and he asked me about 10 times what we were going to eat. He ordered a pizza and wings and we ate most of it. The night before that, we hung out with some of his friends. Between us, we had 6 martinis. He had 4 and I had 2.

And i'm wondering why I have gone back over 200lbs. This shit is going to have to stop. We are going to have to do things that don't involved food and alcohol. I'm going to try to plan dates that involve some kind of physical activity (and sex doesn't count). But hell, what date can you do that involves physical activity?

Any ideas?

I've Never Done This Before...

2009-11-12T21:09:00.004-05:00

...but I am going to post a picture of the guy that I am dating. I have always been cautious about doing that, but in the age of Facebook it's not such a big deal anymore. He posted about 30 pictures of us on his page (which also show up on mine). So here ya go.

I have a little faith in this dude for some reason, so i'm going to start showing it.

Update-11/5/09

2009-11-05T23:18:00.003-05:00

1. I'm dating someone new that I actually think likes me as much, if now more than I like him. Hmmm, i'll call him HR. HR and I met on the cruise that I went on last month. We were leaving the ship and he asked me for a pen to fill out his customs form. Our eyes met and I felt something, but I wasn't sure. Well, he found me on Facebook and it's been good from there.

2. I got a ticket on Monday. I was on a one way street in the far right lane and needed to make a left turn. The lane I was in was an option lane to either turn left or go straight. The car next to me was in the lane to turn left only. When the light turned, th driver kept straight. To keep from hitting her, I had to keep straight also. The problem was that this was an HOV onramp. Wouldn't you know it that there were 2 police officers waiting around the corner. She had a passenger, so she didn't get stopped. I was riding solo and I got a ticket. But surprisingly, I didn't get upset. I just pressed on to where I had to go. No point in gettin upset.

3. I'm a lot happier than I was just a month ago. I don't know what it was, but after the cruise, I felt rejuvenated and just plain happy. I guess I realized again that being happy is a choice and state of mind. I decided to stop worrying about things that I can't control and change the things that need to be changed.

4. I've been off my diet and exercise plan for the last month and it's showing. When i'm working, I eat 3 large meals and rarely exercise. As long as i'm off, I eat well because I can go to the grocery store and choose my meals. That's a lot more difficult on the road traveling. But I think I may be off for about 3.5 weeks starting tomorrow, so it's back to the diet.

5. Since I can't play tennis during the colder months, i'm going to buy me a raquetball raquet and some raquetballs and play at my complex. I didn't even know that we had a raquetball court!! But i'm going to use this as my exercise for the time being. I actually took a class back in college, so I still know the rules.

6. I'm getting the finances in order like I said that I would. It's easy not to spend money when you pay all of your bills first. At that point there is less to money to waste. My next goal is to tackle my credit report and see what needs to be cleaned up there. The goal after that is to contribute more to my savings account.

7. I started volunteering with the American Cancer Society last week. Since it's Michelle Obamas initiative to increase volunteerism, I figured that I might as well do my part. The fact that I have plenty of days off with nothing to do helps also. I'm enjoying the experience thus far and hope to continue.

8. I've decided to discontinue looking for another job and work on improving what I have in the job that I have. I know that there aren't any promotions or raises coming, but I want to be too valuable to let go in case of any layoffs.

9. I've finally gotten over my distaste of taking pictures. I swear that there is always something off about me when I take pictures. Either my hair is nappy looking, my nose grows, i'm 3 shades darker or lighter or just something. Now, I just put on my best smile and take the picture!!! I'm loving what i've seen so far.

10. I haven't been blogging a lot because there hasn't been much on my mind. I read a lot of my older blogs post and saw that most of them were all about my sorrows and woes. Well since i'm a lot happier with life, there isn't as much to blog about. But I think i'll start to blog about my everyday experiences.

On Thursday October 8, 2009...

2009-10-18T14:43:00.005-05:00

...I embarked upon the Carnival Cruise ship with the Sailsation group!! Since February of this year, I had been waiting for that day and I was ready. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of fun that I had. I really can't, but know that I had the time of my life.

Now of the 2050 passengers on the ship, our group was only 120 of the capacity, but you can best believe that the SGL Black man and women of Sailsation made their presence known. We weren't being extra or anything like that. What we were doing is being ourselves. I was kinda put off at first by the stares that we got from the "others", but then I realized that they weren't there for us and we weren't there for them. We were there to have fun!! And that's what we did. We even had our very own comedian in the form of Comedian PT!!!!!

It was honestly so refreshing to see people who didn't know each other to come together and interact like we had known each other for years. I met so many people that I hope to continue to get to know. I didn't see any shade being thrown. I didn't see any competitions to see who was the better this or that. I didn't see any of the activities that people stereotype upon Black SGL people. All I saw was people having fun. And that was enough for me.

We boarded in Jacksonville FL, sailed to Freeport and Nassau, Bahamas, and then back to Jacksonville.

I'm not sure if they are sailing again next year, but just like someone told me about this trip, i'm telling you all!!!!

Here are some more pictures.

Enjoy!!

I Read This Editorial, But...

2009-10-13T16:46:00.005-05:00

...I'm not sure how I feel about it. But here it is. Let me know how you feel about it.

A Non-Pessimistic View On Why the Majority of SGL\Black Gay Men of Color Will Grow Old Alone

An editorial by Cleon T. Day, III

Some of you might think that the first part of the title doesn’t match up with the latter part. How can stating “the majority of SGL/Black Gay Men of Color will grow old alone” be a non pessimistic view. Well for one thing in the closer picture in your life with the exception of a few can you count the number of people you personally know who are in a long-term relationship on two hands. The facts within your own circle is evidence of the majority of SGL/Black Gay Men of Color being alone.

Many of you can give “good reasons” why you are alone. Some of you will say that it’s your choice but I believe it’s not your choice as it is the climate not being right, quality relationship- oriented men being available or accessible. I believe if you move in the same circles you been in for several or many years you will continue to experience men in the same circles you move in, the ones you don't want. Then there are those men who are tired of the games and the past headaches of the last or past relationships and are forced by the lack of available or accessible of SGL/Black Gay Men of Color looking for a long-term relationship so you resign yourself from the whole thing of going out and looking a partner.

At some point SGL/Black Gay Men of Color who have only dated within their race will date outside of their culture to find not perfection but “a good man”. For some odd reason there’s a notion that Caucasian men are good candidates for long-term relationship, a belief that there’s more stability, a partnership where there’s personal and material growth. Also Black Gay Men of Color are looking for respect something they aren’t getting too much of from their own brothas. On the other hand a conscious Same-gender Loving man would never consider dating descendants of former slave owners.

I postulate that there are more single relationship- oriented Same Gender Loving/Black Gay Men of Color available than there are not. However what I do say is although they’re available they’re not as easily accessible to us the majority of us. I believe most of these men are for the most part undetectable or as we say in gay terms "unclockable" . Some of these men are closeted and discreet while other unclockable men don’t define themselves as being out but just low-keyed and have no problems in going out with a brotha on a Friday or Saturday night where other heterosexual couples are going to be. However they don't see themselves standing out as a sore thumb but two male men out to catch a movies as any straight brothas and yet they're not measuring themselves against what "they" so.

So here are the facts as I see them;

1. Many of the men we tend to run into in the circles we continue to run in are not honestly looking for a relationship but if it happens it happens, in the meantime it’s about getting some dick or booty or both.

2. There are perhaps SGL/Gay Men of Color in every profession and income level that you can think of with the exception of President or Vice President of the United States.

3. Most of these SGL/Gay Men of Color are single and are not in the clubs or on the adult male sites looking for a long-term relationship.

4. Many long-term relationship- oriented SGL/Black Gay Men of Color are discreet, low key and go about their daily routine of going to work everyday and living for the weekend.

5. Many of these men will meet men from time to time whether it’s at the gym, at work or by chance in a grocery store. It might start off as a sexual encounter but because they are relationship- oriented it might turn into something more.

I believe if we continue to move in the same circles of meeting guys who aren't who we want or stay to ourselves undetected, relationship- oriented SGL/Black Gay Men of Color will continue to be by themselves and grown old alone.

I was good with his article until he gave his "facts" as he sees them.

1. Many of the people in circles I see do want relationships. They just don't want relationships with each other.

2. What was the point of that? I don't think that people really care that much about income. I know I don't. As long as you can take care of yourself, i'm good.

3. Well, where are they? The reason that people feel comfortable with clubs and chat sites is because they know that the men are same-sex attracted.

4. How does he know this? And what does he mean by discreet and low-key?

5. Again, how does he know this?

What do you all think?

I Have No Faith...

2009-09-30T10:19:00.001-05:00

...in people when it comes to spiritual beliefs and I believe that I have explained why in at least one post or another. This was a thread on facebook that a "friend" of mine posted. The comments, although intended to be comical, just made my eyes bug out. Why are people so critical of other people's beliefs?

GK: asks what do you say to an atheist after they sneeze?? Anyone?? lol

Yesterday at 4:48pm · Comment ·

LC: Kazuntite!! Lol Idk
Yesterday at 4:50pm

GK: lmao! thats a good one
Yesterday at 4:51pm

NP: Hope u didn't get any on you
Yesterday at 5:15pm

AJJ : "You're f#cked!" Lol sike just playing...I don't know good question.
Yesterday at 5:17pm

Norris: You don't say anything and respect their beliefs. That's what I do.
Yesterday at 5:30pm · Delete

TU: Jesus loves you! LOL!
Yesterday at 5:31pm

GK: When u die nothin happens???
Yesterday at 5:45pm

CM: Go to hell?? lol They'd probably love that.
Yesterday at 5:58pm

Norris: Wow!! I can't even joke on this one because of the negative judgements about other people's beliefs. And people wonder why I stopped going to church. Why can't people just respect what other people believe?
Yesterday at 6:55pm · Delete

NJ: Welp I think Norris just shut this topic all the way down. NEXT! Lmao
55 minutes ago

I just didn't think that this was funny. If someone had made fun of Christianity, Islam, or Judiasm, I don't think there would have been any LOLs in the comments.

I'm Going To Get...

2009-09-18T17:41:00.003-05:00

...myself together for real. I've sat around and just existed for years and years with little progression. I'm nowhere near happy with myself, where I am, how I feel, what I look like, what my career is. I don't think i'm really happy about much these days. But all of that has to change. It has to. I just can't take this anymore.

So Norris has to:

Stop defending old excuses and start developing a new attitude. I had an "AHA" moment today when I almost didn't hang out with a friend. I actually tried to come up with an excuse as to why I shouldn't go. But I went.

Stop being a slave to my own negative aspects. They pop up when I don't want them to. They have got to go!! I have to stop thinking the worst or that nothing good can happen to me.

Learn to like me. Oh, I love myself, but I don't think that I like myself and constantly want to change aspects of myself.

Get off of my ass and get these finances in order. I know that I need a budget, but i've made excuses as to why I shouldn't make one. It's coming, but I think I need to find a financial counselor. I honestly can't do this on my own. I've even thought about filing bankruptcy even though I know I don't have to.

Everything here has something to do with my attitude and I have to find a way to get change that. The problem is that sometimes I don't think that I am doing anything wrong. I don't realize that it's wrong until after. Gotta change that.

I have to change a lot of things. And i'm starting today.

There Had Come A Point...

2009-09-17T14:43:00.004-05:00

...in dating where I actually thought that there was something wrong with me. I've been reflecting on my dating experiences for the last week and I actually thought it must be something that I have been doing wrong.

Then I got real and realized that there is nothing WRONG with me. I've been doing the one thing that I know how to do and that is to be myself. I'm not going to blame myself for my dating issues. I'm just going to deal with them.

The only problem is that I haven't found someone that suits me and vice versa. I'll live with that thought until that person comes along.

I Feel A Lot...

2009-09-10T16:38:00.007-05:00

...better today. The last 2 days have not been good for me or my spirit. So I got up this morning and played tennis for 3 hours. When I got on the court, I was still sluggish and feeling blah. But as I played, I felt better and better. I took my mind off of finances, men, obligations, life decisions, family issues, job, and everything else and I just played. I feel so much better.

The only problem with playing tennis so much is that my face is now much darker than the rest of my body. I may have to start playing naked!LOL

I'm Not In...

2009-09-09T22:29:00.003-05:00

...the highest of spirits this week, so anything I post will be depressing as hell. It's just a host of issues that have me down. Right now I don't want to think about "how good I have it" or that "other people have it worse".

I am allowed to feel what I feel when I feel it. And right now I just feel depressed. I'm sure it will pass just like it always does.

I Refuse To Allow...

2009-09-09T14:22:00.004-05:00

...anyone to make me feel like what I do makes me a bad person.

I refuse to allow anyone to make me feel bad about myself.

I refuse to allow anyone to use me for their gain.

I refuse to allow anyone to mistake my generousity for weakness.

I just had enough. I really have. After 13 years of dating and relationships, i've come up with nothing. I'm absolutely tired of it. I just can't deal with the requirements, stipulations, non-compromising situations, disrespect, deception, and just plain stupidity. I'm just tired of it.

I can't change the type of person that I am, but what I will do is change the type of person I choose to date. After thinking about it i've come to the conclusion that my biggest issue with dating is overlooking and forgiving issues that I have with people. I try to be realistic and understand that people aren't perfect and that they will make mistakes. But as strong as I think I am, i'm actually pretty weak when it comes to dating. Family and friends know that i'm strong and aggressive, but when it comes to dating, i'm weak as hell.

I actually have noticed that the older i"ve gotten, the weaker I have gotten. My thinking is that i'm getting that "get a man before I get too old" feeling. I can't think that way. I just can't. I've got to change my mindset and know that I don't HAVE to romantically have someone in my life to complete me. I've got to learn to enjoy me.

Well after those 13 years, i've come to realize that I have to change my tactics. How i'm going to do that, i'm not sure, but something has to give. So first thing Monday morning...

Repost: 7/19/05 Free, Single, and Disengaged

2009-09-01T20:41:00.002-05:00

Since i'm feeling like i'm in this situation again, I feel as though this post needs to be seen again!!
It was originally posted on 7/19/05!!!

I want to introduce you all to FSD. Free, Single, and Disingaged. I don't have to call anyone. Dont have to wonder about where he is. Dont have to wonder about about what he is doing. Dont have to wonder about who he is with. I ain't got to think about anybody but me. But there is a difference in those three words.

Free-I may be dating someone but there are not expectations on the part of either party. I don't have to call you. I can go out with other people if I choose. I can have sex with anyone willing to do it with me. We can basically use each other to occupy time by going out on dates with each other.

Single-I may be seeing someone. We may have been seeing each other for a year or two. But, there is no commitment on either part. We may acknowledge that we are a couple, but there still has not been a commitment. We have totally separate lives. We don't share finances. We don't consult each other on life decisions. We don't know the other person's family.

Disengaged-I am not seeing anyone. I am not dating anyone. I ain't trying to be bothered because I am S.A.L.I. Single and Loving It. But notice that I didn't say anything about sexing somebody. A man has to get what he needs.

But I do have a confession. I'm single, and free, but not disengaged. I am dating someone. The same person that was the subject of "The Wonderful Letter X" post. I decided to give him another chance. "Why did you do that" some may ask. It's simple. I like him and do see potential in him. And he has agreed to get a mobile phone.

I've Been To...

2009-08-26T17:18:00.003-05:00

38 U.S. states

visited 38 states (76%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or Like this? try: Archean

and 7 countries (they include Puerto Rico for 8, but I don't.)

visited 8 states (3.55%)
Create your own visited map of The World or vertaling nederlands duits?

For As Long As...

2009-08-19T22:13:00.005-05:00

...I can remember, I have always had high blood pressure and have worried about my weight. I remember 11 years ago when I was in college and a nurse took my blood pressure and screamed "how can you be only 19 years old and have blood pressure this high"!!!!!!!! I think that it actually read something like 170/95 that day. I was immediately send to a physician and have been on medication every since then. The problem with medication is that your body becomes immune to it and it stops working. So for about 2 years, you can have normal blood pressure and then it shoots back up. That's what's been happening for the last few years.

As far as my weight is concerned, i've never been overweight. I've just always watched it go up and down. Since college I have been as low as 165lbs and as high at 210lbs. When looking at myself in the mirror, I have always looked the same. But back in May of 2005 when I moved back to Atlanta, I weighed 210lbs. That day I joined a gym and went faithfully every day. Four months later I was back to 170lbs and was quite content. But that didn't last long and I was back to my old self not exercising consistently and definitely not eating healthy. On June 25th of this year I got on a scale and it said I was 207lbs!!! Oh hell no!!!

I went back to my room and took my blood pressure and it was 157/93. I took a look at myself in the mirror and even took pictures (hell no! I will not post them) of by body. I almost cried to think that I was back over 200lbs and I could have a stroke any day if my blood pressure didn't come down.

Well, I decided to actually change some things about my lifestyle. I could no longer sit on the sofa every day, eat and watch TV. I would eventually get fat as hell and die of a stroke or a heart attack. I could no longer eat high fat, high sodium, high calorie foods. The first thing that I did was change what and how I ate. I took a cue from 2 of my co-workers and cut out all beef and pork. I added a lot more vegetables, fruit juice, and water. It was no where near easy, but i've done it. Now I will have a lil beef every now and then, but no more than once every 14 days. When i'm not traveling, breakfast is a bowl of Cheerios. Lunch is usually some type of fish or chicken dish and a whole heap of vegetables.

The second thing that I did was to get off my ass and start moving. I am not a gym person, so I found something else to do. Since I had been learning to play tennis, I decided to ramp up my game so that I could get more cardiovascular exercise. Luckily, i've not been traveling for the last month so I have been able to play 4 to 5 times a week for 2 hours at a time. I've told myself that when I do travel I WILL make time to go to the fitness center in the hotels if only for 30 minutes.

Well, the results are in people!! After 45 days of my new lifestyle, I can say that I am proud to make this post. Both my weight and blood pressure are down!!!

My blood pressure is down past the goal that my doctor set of 135/85!!!!!

And my weight is down 14.5lbs (7%).

Since i've achieved that blood pressure goal I now have to maintanin it. So i'll be taking my pressure monitor everywhere I go.

As far as my weight, I want to get down to 180lbs and i'll be happy.

Ya'll don't know how happy I am right now.

Next step is to get these finances in a better place.

Have You Ever Seen...

2009-08-15T21:10:00.001-05:00

...a man so sexy that you wanted to cry???

I've Been Playing...

2009-08-15T09:18:00.000-05:00

...tennis for about 2 years. I play mainly for the exercise, but for the last few months i've actually been trying to get better and I have. My basic moves such as serve, forehand, and backhand have gotten exponentially better.

I've been going to a park located near my apartment because it's convenient and there are 3 courts there. But today, I realized another reason why I go to that park. And here it is!!!

The boys on the basketball court!!

When this shirtless dude snatched off his shirt stripper style, I dropped my raquet!!!!

And we actually do play tennis as well!!!! (And don't ask why I wasn't in the pictures!! I was taking them!!!!)

I'm Getting Tired Of...

2009-08-14T14:55:00.003-05:00

...going out to clubs, parties, and other events. I've been feeling this way for a while and have been wondering why this change is occuring. I noticed last year that when my friends would want to go out, I started declining and would just stay at home. But when it was just an event that involved only my crew, I was all for it. In the last few weeks, i've figured out why I have become the way I have become.

Back in the early part of this decade, I would go out and people would be out to have fun. They danced and sang and partied until the club closed. That just doesn't happen anymore. It seems that people go out to social places just to be seen. They go to do what I call S&M, or Stand and Model. They stand around with their friends and associates with drinks in hand and try to see who's looking at them.

And don't dare speak!! Oh my!!! You get the "who are you to speak to me" look with a grab of the chest!! Why the hell are you going out if you don't want to interact with the other patrons of the social environment? I just don't get it. I remember once I spoke to a brotha and complimented him on his jeans because they were quite unique. This muthafucka turned his nose up at me and then turned his back to me. At first, I was going to let him HAVE IT!! But what would that do? Absolutely nothing but run up my blood pressure. So I just walked away.

Last week, I attended a BBQ hosted by a guy that I know. We got there pretty early so we were able to see who all was coming in. Me being the person that I am, when I walked in the door, I spoke to those already in attendance. I noticed that as people came in, they didn't speak to others that were already there. Why the hell not? As the crowd grew, people started retreating to their corners with their friends with drinks and food in hand. After a while (and a few drinks), I got kinda tired of what I was seeing. I recruited 2 of my friends to go with me to speak to and introduce ourselves to EVERY person at the BBQ!!! And we did!!!! You should have seen the looks on faces!!! People were utterly shocked that we would do such a thing!! How dare you have the audacity to speak to people and introduces yourselves. Oh no they didn't!!! Oh yes the hell we did!!

I think that's one of the reasons why i've cut waaaayyyy back on my going out. I didn't go to the annual white party this year. I only go out to a club maybe 1 time a month. I don't do parties that often anymore. What I do is hang with my crew a lot more. Instead of trying to meet new people, i'll concentrate on improving the relationships that I have now. I don't need to go out to do that.

I Made These...

2009-08-10T14:06:00.000-05:00

...all by myself!!!!

These 2 pieces made up the wooden headboard from my old bed. The bed broke when I decided to jump my ass on it one day while this dude I was dating was laying on it and the entire bed HIT THE FLOOR. After getting a new bed that day, I just couldn't part with the headboard. So I took the 2 pieces apart and stored them in the garage for the next year. I knew I had to do something with the with them.

Well last week, I got bored and decided to to a little decorating. I went to Home Depot and got 2 cans of spray paint and some painter's tape. I taped off the sections I wanted to paint and got to work. Let me tell you that spray painting is not as easy as it one would think.

I then went to a dollar store and bought a simple black rimmed $6 mirror and used wood glue to secure it against the former headboard. I mounted the shelf on the wall and put the items you see pictured on it.

After all was said and done, everyone who saw the mirror and shelf thought that I had purchased them from Ikea or somewhere!! Nope!! I am proud to say that I made these myself!!!!

Now I have HGTV fever and am wondering what to do next!!!

Tuts Me Barreh!!!

2009-08-09T14:15:00.001-05:00

Please watch this and please check out 2:29 when he hits his first "HIGH" note!!!

Just Some Random Stuff

2009-08-05T00:01:00.001-05:00

1. I sleep naked. I've been doing this since high school when I went to Upward Bound each summer. I used to have my own dorm room, so I just slept naked. I think that I started because I used to sweat a lot when I slept (not so much now) in undies and a tee. Now, when I meet someone new and we stay the night together and I get in the bed with clothes on, I can't sleep for anything.

2. I get tongue tied when trying to talk sometimes. I always have and probably always will. If I think about what I am trying to say before I say it, my pronunciation is perfect. But if i'm just talking and go too fast, it's all gibberish.

3. I'm scared of long strands of hair. That shit freaks me out. If I see a strand of hair on a bed, a toilet, or anywhere, I am prone to vomitting on the spot. I saw a long strand of hair on the plane today hanging from the overhead bin and walked to the other aisle. Nobody else saw it and people must have thought I was crazy.

4. When I wash my hands, I either close my eyes or stare at myself in a mirror. I just noticed this today. I also noticed that I wash my hands a lot more than is normal.

5. I smell my food. I have only recently started doing this in the last 3 or 4 years. When I started, it was very seldom that I did it. Now it's EVERY time I eat. People have started noticing, but I have also realized that i'm not the only person that does it.

6. When I drive, I slightly lean to one side or the other. I have not idea why I do this, but when I try to sit upright, I just feel unconfortable. I've been trying to sit upright more often so that I don't jack up my posture.

I wonder what quirky things you all can admit.

He Got Her Together!!!

2009-08-03T10:34:00.000-05:00

Pictures from Peru!!!!

2009-07-27T12:09:00.043-05:00

Gold Artifacts from one of the many museums.

City Center of Lima

Argentine Embassy-It was a welcome respite from all of the dark colors.

Olive Press-Peru was once the largest producer of olive oil.

Flat top pyramid

Peruvian Flags

The Magic Circuit, a park of fountains that put on a show. This was a must see attraction, so on our last night of work, a few of us ventured out to see it.

I'm Jet-Setting Off To...

2009-07-17T11:39:00.003-05:00

...Lima, Peru!!!!!!!! I love my job (most days at least)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe It's Just Me But...

2009-07-16T01:11:00.004-05:00

...i'm feeling bothered by something and want to get some opinions on this.

Let's say you met a guy about a month ago. Fuck it!! I met a dude about a month ago and apparently he recorded my phone number incorrectly. I had just written him off by then. Then Sunday I went to play spades and he shows up since he lives in the same building as the host. We reconnect and have some convo and we ended up playing around later *no actual sex* that night (sue me, I was horny).

We've talked multiple times since then and he's telling me that he couldn't get me off of his mind for that month that we lost contact. I can't lie, the brotha left an impression on me that night also. That's the only reason he got my number. We've talked and several times and he's told me all that shit that I like to hear. But i've kept my guard up because we really and truly just met. I ain't trying to get goo goo eyes over a dude I just met. I mean the muthafucka is fine as cat hair, extremely masculine, and seems to be quite intellectual and he's getting his doctorate. But again, I'm not trying to get stupid over anyone.

I go to that same spot to play spades again and he's there. Since everyone there knows everyone there, we've kept the fact that we hooked up to ourselves. So there wasn't much interaction between the 2 of us. But I was playing spades and looked around to get a secret wink at him and didn't see him. When I got up from the table, I called him to tell him that I was about to leave. I figured that he was at home and I was going to ask him if I could stop by since I fly out Friday and he flys out Thursday. He answers and I ask him if he had left. To that he replied "yes" and then "let me call you back". All I could say was OK.

As I was preparing to leave, one of my boys asks me to play another game of spades with him. I sit down at the table and look out on the patio and he's standing on the patio looking me in my face. Of course, the first thing that came to my mind was "I thought he said he had left", but I let it go and continued my game.

Then when that game was over, I was preparing to leave. My card partner asked me to step out on the patio so that he could tell me about his new job opportunity. So I step out there and dude who I kicked it with is out there with some dude hanging off his neck. I didn't say anything, but just looked at him surprised. I told my boy that it was too hot out there and that we should step back inside to talk about his topic.

Now this is where I would like to have your opinions! I know I just met this dude for real on Sunday, but I was bothered. It wasn't curiosity, but truly frustration with brothas and there shit. I find it disrespectful to be hugged up with another dude while you're in the presence of someone YOU say you've want to holla at since you met. That's just not some shit I would do and I consider it foul as hell.

The strange thing about this shit is there were 2 different dudes flirting their asses off with me!! And one of them, I was attracted to like a muthafucka But because dude was there, I brushed it off.

So I have 2 questions.

1. Should I have been bothered by what I saw?

2. Should I have taken the cute dude who was flirting up on his game?

Let me know.

**Continuation***

First let me say that I am going to have to edit my post so that I don't seem so angry. I wasn't upset about the situation, I was just surprised. I knew I would need to get clarification from Doctorate so that I could clear my head.

I called Doctorate and we talked about what actually happened. When I called last night to see if he had left, he says that he told me "yes, i'm out on the patio, let me call you back". All I heard was "yes". But anyway I wasn't too worried about that situation.

On the other situation, he says that the guy that had his arms around his neck is a non-issue. They guy was drunk (to which several people there attested to) and he got a little too touchy feely. Doctorate says that when he wanted to push the guy off of him, but didn't want to cause a scene. Aight, so since I got my explanation and he got his about why I left, we're all good.

Now what I asked him was:

Can you be upfront and honest with me about anything that may happen between us?

Can you be truthful when I have a question about something?

Can you be respectful of me from the beginning?

Are you completely single and looking to date?

I got an answer in the affirmative on all of these questions and so did he when he returned them to me. I'm didn't ask him anything to try to jump into a committment. I asked him because I want to be assured that i'm not dealing with another brotha that is about head games. I just don't have the patience for it anymore. I'd rather ask upfront about a brotha's intentions.

So as of now, he and I are just going to try to enjoy each other and see what happens.

And i've got to learn to not overreact!!

One Of The Definitions of...

2009-07-12T18:09:00.004-05:00

...the word CONSISTENT is: constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc. I don't think that a lot of men understand what this word means, so I have decided to blog about it.

How many of us have met a guy and he says all the right things to get you to like him or be attracted to him? We all have haven't we? How many of us have also had that guy to call you, visit, text you or whatever multiple times a day? We all have haven't we? How many of you have seen those call decrease over the few weeks after meeting that guy until they cease? We all have haven't we?

I recently had this happen to me with a guy that I had really started to think could be consistent. I won't even bother giving him a blog name because it's pointless now. We met and had a nice date. We talked a couple times a day. We sent and received text messages dozens of times a day. We spent time together when I wasn't traveling. Then after that first month, I noticed that the "good morning" and "good night" texts and calls were less frequent. Then he couldn't come over or didn't have time for me to visit him.

I never stopped with my calls, text, or desire to visit or go on a date. I never do. If we start out calling each other on our lunch break, i'll continue that every single day. If we start in the morning or before bed, i'll continue that. If we start visiting twice a week, i'll continue doing that. This is called consistently and I belive it in. I also believe that if this consistency is interrupted, then something could me amiss. And I will address it.

So me being me, I called him and asked him if he was actually single and available to date and if so, if he wanted to date and continue to get to know me. His reply was "I am single, but at this point in my life, I have too much going on to date someone. I would like to continue to get to know you, but i just don't have time to date." I wasn't shocked, upset or anything else because I knew that something wasn't right. My reply to him was "I don't want to just get to know someone, I want to seriousy date and form a relationship. Because you don't have time to date, I believe that it's best for us to cease contact". He attempted to convince me to change my mind, but I was done and I told him goodbye. I don't understand how you can get to know someone without actually dating. Truth be told, I didn't know there was a difference.

When people break from what they normally do, something makes them it. If a person deviates from a habit or regular function for no apparent reason, I begin to wonder why. Something caused them to change course and I will ask why. No doubt about it, I will ask.

What I don't understand is why when dating, people can't be consistent. And if they can't be consistent, why they can't communicate what they truly feel to you so you can make an informed decision on what you want to do with them? I truly don't understand it. I can do it, so why can't they?

I have attemtped to date so many of these inconsistent and non-communicative brothas that I have become fed up. But unlike others, I won't become bitter and become one of them. I'll continue to be same ole consistent Norris and hope for the best.

That's all I have to say.

I Have Never Understood...

2009-06-29T15:15:00.003-05:00

...the point of smoking weed. Never. Have I tried it? Yes I have. Will I try it again? No. Why? Because it did nothing for me. What prompted this post? I'll tell ya.

I have a friend who smokes marijuana regularly. Yesterday I went over his house to play spades and to watch the BET Awards. His boyfriend also invited a few of his friends over. So I noticed that there was a distinct separation in the two groups. My friend and us were downstairs and the boyfriend and his friends were upstairs. We were playing cards, drinking liqour (water and sodas for me) and talking. They were upstairs "chiefing".

I went upstairs to play pool after I lost my game of spades and found the other group just sitting around smoking. When I walked in the room, there was a cloud of smoke near the ceiling and the room smelled like a bunch of ugh! What I noticed is that they were all sitting around looking depressed. They weren't talking, moving or anything else. It was like walking into a morgue. I kept wondering "what's the fun and enjoyment in this" becuase they looked like they were at a funeral. I went back downstairs and joined the fun there.

The one time I did smoke some, I was 27 years of age. Most of the people in my community I grew up with smoked weed and I just never wanted to. I just didn't see the point. In addition, it's illegal. So at the ripe old age of 27, I decided to see what the fuss was all about. So a friend of mine rolled up and blunt and gave me instructions on how to pull, inhale, and exhale. Well after the blunt was gone I noticed that he was in his own little world, while I was sitting there waiting for this so called "euphoric" feeling to come over me where I feel like all my troubles are gone. It never came. After about an hour of waiting, I gave up on that feeling ever coming. Smoking weed did absolutely nothing for me. Nothing.

I guess that's why I am a drinker and not a smoker. First of all, it's legal to purchase. I don't have to wonder if the person selling it to me is an undercover police officer or not. Second of all, I know what to drink to give me a "euphoric" feeling and I know exactly where to get it.

So i'm wondering if someone can tell me what they enjoy about smoking marijuana. Because a brotha like me just doesn't get the point.

Now This Is A Hell of a Tribute..

2009-06-28T02:56:00.000-05:00

...even though is was made 2 years ago!!

Do People Really Believe...

2009-06-25T16:37:00.002-05:00

...that this ish works??? I know a few people who have been though an "exorcism" to cast out the homosexual "demon" and they are still homosexual!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31528426/?GT1=43001

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. - The video shows the 16-year-old boy lying on the floor, his body convulsing, as elders of a small Connecticut church cast a "homosexual demon" from his body.

"Rip it from his throat!" a woman yells. "Come on, you homosexual demon! You homosexual spirit, we call you out right now! Loose your grip, Lucifer!"

The 20-minute video posted on YouTube by Manifested Glory Ministries is being called abuse by gay and youth advocates, who are demanding an investigation. But a church official this week denied that the teenager was injured or that the church is prejudiced.

"We believe a man should be with a woman and a woman should be with a man," the Rev. Patricia McKinney told The Associated Press. "We have nothing against homosexuals. I just don't agree with their lifestyle."

'Come out of his belly'The church posted the video on YouTube but has since removed it; it is still available on some Web sites that copied it. The church declined to make the video available for distribution by The Associated Press.

It shows church members standing the youth on his feet by holding him under his arms, and people shouting as organ music plays.

"Come out of his belly," someone commands. "It's in the belly — push."

Later, the teenager is back on the floor, breathing heavily. Then he's coughing and apparently vomiting into a bag.

"Get another bag," a participant says. "Make sure you have your gloves."

As the youth lay back on the ground, limp, church members put a white sheet over him.

It's nearly impossible to say how often similar exercises occur in churches nationwide. But Kamora Herrington, who runs a mentoring program at True Colors and has worked with the youth, said she believes it's fairly common.

"This happens all the time," she said. "This is not isolated."

Robin McHaelin, executive director of True Colors, an advocacy group for gay youths, said her organization is aware of five cases in recent years in which youths in her program were threatened with exorcism.

'I think it's horrifying'
In one case, she said, a child called to report that his caregiver had called a priest who was throwing holy water on his bedroom door.

"I think it's horrifying," McHaelin said of the video by Manifested Glory. "What saddens me is the people that are doing this think they are doing something in the kid's best interests, when in fact they're murdering his spirit."

McHaelin said she planned to report the situation to the Connecticut Department of Children and Families. An agency spokesman said the agency does not comment on complaints or investigations.

"They have this kid in a full nelson," she said. "That just seems abusive to me."

McKinney said the youth was 18. The boy confirmed he is 16 but otherwise declined to comment, citing the advice of his pastor.

McHaelin said the boy told her staff that the church performed the ritual three times at his request. She said the boy has been engaging in risky behavior that she blames on the church's treatment.

McKinney said the youth went to the church last year and collapsed on the floor during a service.
"He was out of control in the church," she said. "This young man came to us. We didn't go to him."

'He didn't want to be like that'McKinney denied the ritual was an exorcism, describing it instead as a casting out of spirits. She said the church took care of the youth, providing him clothes.

"He was dressing like a woman and everything. And he didn't want to be like that," McKinney said.

The teen had been in reform school for stealing but was eager to get out and go to the church to have what he thought were his demons driven out, Herrington said.

Exodus International, a Christian group that believes gays can become straight through prayer and counseling, does not advocate the church's approach, said Jeff Buchanan, director of church equipping.

The Rev. Roland Stringfellow, a minister in Oakland, Calif., said he was subject to demon casting in the 1990s when he was at a Baptist church and was struggling with his sexuality. He said he was put in front of the church as members shouted "demon of homosexuality come out of him."

"It caused nothing but shame and embarrassment," Stringfellow said.

McKinney also has a weekly radio program. She talked on Wednesday's program about being "persecuted" in recent days but did not mention the video specifically.

"It's been a hard time for me, but I'm looking good and I'm standing strong because when you have a mandate like mine you're not going to say what you want without the adversary coming after you," she said. "If you are a true prophet you're not going to be popular with the people."

I'm All For Self Expression, But...

2009-06-17T10:32:00.012-05:00

...there are some things that can't be help being laughed at!!! This is just sad on so many levels.

My Friends Really...

2009-06-16T11:36:00.002-05:00

...opened my eyes last weekend during out Friday night discussion session! An I actually wasn't going to post this, but after reading Kenny King's post about his friend doing it to him, I had to.

Like I said, we were having our usual Friday night discussion session and the topic somehow ended up as too why some people can't keep a man. Then it got onto why I can't keep a man. Go figure. I told my friends that it's not that I can't keep a man, it's that when I realize that a dude isn't for me, I let the situation go. I don't see a point in continuing to date a dude I can't get along with or am not compatible with.

I told them that I am what a few dudes have called a bitch. And that's when they opened my eyes. I was told that the reason I can't/won't stay with a dude is that i'm too overbearing for the kind of guy that I like. They went on to explain that the kind of guys they have seen me date are guys with a strong and confident personality just like mine. After drinking another glass of wine and thinking about it, I realized that they were right, even though I knew that already. And that's when my eyes were opened. They also pointed out that the few passive guys that I have tried to date haven't lasted past a few weeks. Now that I already knew. I don't like guys that are pushovers. Like Kenny said, "even though I had already known this-- I have to admit that it felt good for someone so close to me to take the time to call me out in a loving, concerned way".

Over the last few days, I have been reviewing the relationships and dating situations that I have had and realizing that I am rather strong-minded. I don't like to be told what to do, but can and will tell you what to do. I like to be right and will only back down when I am proven to be wrong. I speak my mind even when my opinion is not solicited. Overall, I just have a very assertive personality.

So what was I to do? They explained that I should tone down on my personality and I will be fine. I have to learn to listen instead of being the one to talk. I have to let someone else take the lead. I have to become more attentive to my reactions. So that's what I plan to do. I know it's going to take some time to adjust myself, but if it's for the betterment of myself and my relationships (familial and platonic also), then that's something that i'm willing to do. I'm hoping that I can become a better liked and more respected person.

So, thanks to my friends for opening my eyes a little wider as to what I already knew was one of my problems. Ole blunt bitches!!!

I've Worked In The...

2009-06-11T19:38:00.001-05:00

...hospitality industry for 10 years now and I have put up with my fair share of rude, inconsiderate, and non-thinking people. And I think that you find some of the worst people in hotels. But the one industry that beats the dummies in hospitality is the airline industry. I just don't know how they do it.

Here is an article that I found on Yahoo that list some pet peeves of flight attendents.

1. Bring your pet on the plane and then act like an animal.
Over the years, I've seen a pet on a passenger's lap, a pet tucked into a seatback pocket, and a pet loose in the aisle (I nearly hit one with my beverage cart). All of this is against federal regulations. People tell me how well-behaved their pet is, but they can't follow the rules themselves! Your pet must stay in its carrier while you're on the plane. Yes, even if you've paid a "pet-in-cabin" fee.

2. Shove your bag into the first bin you see and then walk to your seat in the back of the plane.

You think you're clever, I know. You expect to grab your bag on your way out of the plane, but you're selfishly inconveniencing others. I can't lie and say we flight attendants don't take some small satisfaction when we tell you, "We couldn't identify the bag's owner, so we sent it to cargo." It's a security issue, for real. Carry-ons need to stay near their owners! So don't look so shocked when we say, "The signs will direct you to baggage claim. You can pick up your bag there."

3. Think that because you're on an airplane you're off-duty as a parent.

Stop expecting us to have spare diapers, formula, medicine, toys, playing cards, or batteries for DVD players or Game Boys. It's an airplane, not a 7-11. Take your kid to the restroom before you board. Leave the dry cereal and Legos at home and bring snacks and toys for your kids that won't make a horrible mess.

4. Drag on an oversize bag that's too heavy for you to lift by yourself.

I won't be compensated for any injuries I might sustain if I heft your bag into the overhead compartment for you. (And other passengers shouldn't have to step up and take the risk either.) The guideline is simple: You pack it, you stack it. Try this at home as a test (and this is to you ladies, especially): After you've packed your bag, put on the shoes you plan to wear on the plane and see if you can lift your bag and place it on top of your refrigerator. You can't? Pay the fee and check the bag.

5. Gripe that you haven't been seated in a roomy exit-row seat.

The exit rows weren't created as a reward for people who are tall, overweight, or just plain nice. They were designed to help passengers get out of the plane in an emergency. The people seated in an exit row must be able to see and speak clearly, open the emergency door, and help others. I prefer to see uniformed military, firefighters, law-enforcement officers, or off-duty pilots and flight attendants sitting in those seats. While the gate agent may assign exit-row seats first, the flight attendant makes the final determination about who gets to sit in them. And the quality of our choices is one of the frequent concerns of Federal Aviation Administration officials when they audit airlines for safety practices. So please don't complain. I'm just doing my job.

6. Act like you don't know the meaning of the words "under the seat in front of you."

Someday I will be muttering "under the seat in front of you" in the old-age home for flight attendants. What is it that you don't understand? To be clear, items should not be stowed behind your calves, under your feet like a footstool, in the open seat next to you, or in your lap. It's under the seat in front of you. And it applies to everything you carry on board. Items stored carelessly can trip others, or dislodge during takeoff and get lost, or inconvenience others. And while I'm on the topic: Please don't wrap your purse (or umbrella strap) around your ankle to keep from forgetting it. What will happen in an emergency, when every second counts and there's no time to disentangle yourself from your precious bag? Will you drag it ball-and-chain-style down the aisle of a burning plane?

7. Whine about the high price of flying.

When I hear people complain about coach airfares, I know they're not keeping up with the news. Fares have rarely been cheaper. In recent years, it's not uncommon for you to be able to cross the continent for under $130 each way, with a maximum of one layover. It's a bargain! At that price, you're barely paying for the fuel to get your body there—never mind the cost of shipping your 50 pounds of gear. You're already on the gravy plane. People point to first class ticket holders and want to know why they don't get the same treatment. Wake up folks: You're getting a great deal. If you want even more, pay more!

People, please be considerate when staying in hotels and when flying! I beg of you!!!

I Would Have...

2009-06-10T19:55:00.002-05:00

...tasered her ass too! He warned her 5 times and she didn't listen. Some senior citizens seem to think that their age gives them a pass to be belligerent.

I've Always Had A...

2009-06-04T00:05:00.003-05:00

...very assertive, maybe even aggressive personality. Even as a child, I was one to say exactly how I felt, do things on my own, and stick to my guns. And I think that my childhood has a lot to do with how strong my personality is.

Even though I recognize my personality, I can't determine if it was natural or if it was nurtured. My parents, like most everyone elses', had a very strong influence on my life. My father was what we called a hellion. He could strike fear into a person just by looking at them. And my mother would cut you to your core with just a few words. The one thing that they always taught was to speak your mind and get your point across, but always listen to what is being said and what isn't being said to you. And I have always lived by those teachings.

I've always been known as the person that won't hold back a question. The person who will say exactly how he feels. The person who doesn't use euphemisms and calls a hoe a hoe. The person who won't back down from an argument. The person whose face you can read and know what he is thinking.

And a lot of that has turned people off over the years. What i'm learning now is to shut up sometimes. I'm learning to control my temper and my mouth. I'm learning to control my emotions from showing up on my face.

What i'm learning now is to adjust from being that Type-A person to at least a Type-AB person. And I feel happier already.

What If...

2009-05-20T22:16:00.002-05:00

I got this over at Thaddeus's blog and just felt the need to answer these questions even though I don't have a partner and haven't had one in 7 years. I'll answer each question with a "probably" or "most likely" because I can never for sure what I will do.

There are three things that if a man does not know, he cannot live long in this world: what is too much for him, what is too little for him and what is just right for him.Lets answer some what if questions:

1. What if you come home early one day and find a built and buffed good looking sexy brother watching television with your partner? You don't know this man from Adam?

Well, I would honestly be shocked. Hopefully, if my partner is my partner, I would know all of his friends. But me being me, the look on my face would be enough for my partner to know what I was thinking. I would probably just continue on with whatever plan I had for when I got home.

2. What if you over hear your partner on the phone telling someone that he can't wait to see him later?

I'd most likely ask him who it was he couldn't wait to see.

3. What if you find condoms and a half-empty bottle of KY lube in your partner's gym bag that you know he didn't use with you?

I don't think that I would be searching my partner's gym bag to begin with. But if I did and I found those items, I would probably sit them on dresser of our bedroom for him to see and then just wait for him to explain. If I felt he was lying, I would go straight Tasha Mack on that ass!!

4. What if you see your partner out with another man you don't know? You are surprised to see him because he told you he was going to be at his parent's house, or working late.

I would probably walk up and introduce myself the the stranger and then ask my partner if his visit to his parents home was cut short or if he got off work earlier than expected. Then I would most likely tell him to pick up some milk and eggs on his way home. Once again, the look on my face would tell him what I was thinking.

5. What if your desire for sex with your partner is gone? There is no longer a spark in your sex life.

There is no "probably" on this one. I would talk to him about it.

6. What if your partner stays out all night long and comes home in the morning and doesn't say anything about where he's been?

I would probably just get up the next morning and cook him breakfast.

7. What if you find out that your partner has been having sex with your best friend, or with his best friend?

I have no fucking idea what I would do. But I can imagine that there would most likely be some violence involved. I can even front on that one.

8. What if your partner, who has only been a top or bottom in your relationship wants to flip and do the opposite?

Hopefully I'll have a partner who isn't all top or all bottom. But if I did, I would probably comply with whatever it was he wanted.

9. What if your partner wants you to attend a sex party with him?

He would know better than to even think about asking me something like that.

Be honest with yourself as you have fun with these. Hopefully you will get a new feel for how you can respond to the unexpected.

Something I've Been Checking Out..

2009-05-17T21:04:00.001-05:00

...has me truly entertained! And I am sooooooo glad that I ran across it.

It's called FIVEBLACKGUYS on Youtube. I ran across it while watching a video that ShawnQT posted on his Facebook page and have been laughing and thinking every since.

They have about 280 videos so i've been watching them when I have time. But my favorite funny video date is the one that I watched on Shawn's Facebook page. It's a spoof of The Color Purple and it is funny as hell!!

My favorite serious video to date is Dating the Person or HIV. It's one of those that makes you realize that you don't know what you would do until you are put into a situation.

This week, starting today, they are celebrating their 1 year anniversary I just want to spread the word about them. Check them out.

No Longer Will I...

2009-05-08T00:26:00.004-05:00

...be the doer in my relationships. Whether they be platonic, romantic, or familial. I just refuse to do it anymore. I ALWAYS the one doing all the work to keep shit going and I refuse to do it anymore. I fucking refuse. People in my life are going to have to do as much for me as I do for them or they can go to hell.

...be the conformist in my relationships. Whether they be platonic, romantic, or familial. I just refuse to do it anymore. I am not a conformist in the sense that I do what everyone else does. I am a conformist in that I attempt to change myself to suit other people or to keep the peace. NO MORE!! NOPE! ABSOLUTELY NOT!

...be the only problem-solver in my relationships. Whether they be platonic, romantic, or familial. I just refuse to do it anymore. When someone has an issue, I do what I can to help them, sometimes hurting myself to help them. I do this even when they aren't doing anything to help themselves. This here will stop. If you aren't going to do for yourself, then don't even think to ask me for help.

...be the driver in my relationships. Whether they be platonic, romantic, or familial. I just refuse to do it anymore. I've dated dudes who have never been to my house to see me. I have friends who have never been to my house to see me. I have family members who have never been to my house to see me. From now on, you will have to put forth some effort to get in your car and drive that ass to see Norris.

To keep it simple, i'm just realizing that I do too much for others and don't get much in return. It's not other peoples's doing. It's mine and I know that. But people have gotten used to me being there for them. The problem with that is that I feel that they aren't there for me.

There are some changes coming up for me and my focus is to make life comfortable for me and not others. And if that means being called a bitch or losing some relationships, so be it.

This Was Quite Interesting...

2009-05-08T00:09:00.000-05:00

...but i'm not shocked that there was only 1 brotha with a truly enlightened opinion.

This is F-ing Stupid

2009-05-08T00:08:00.001-05:00

I Think That I May Just...

2009-04-29T22:52:00.003-05:00

...give up on dating (for a while) and settle for the occasional sex hook-up. Or maybe not.

Tuscany and I just didn't work out because we have opposing personalities and we were getting on each other's nerves. I had actually started to care for him, I knew I had to make that decision before we got serious. Plus he made a few contradictory statements. He kept telling me that he wasn't looking to get serious. On the other hand, he told a mutual friend of ours that he "hopes that God blesses our union and we can have a real relationship" (He doesn't know how to whisper). I was confused to say the least.

Then there was the issue with his ex-boyfriend. They had broken up in September after 4 years and I don't think that either of them was really ready to let go. So I decided to let him go to chase that dream. Oh well.

But my problem is that I don't want to go sexless. I have given up on one-night flings and hook-ups, but I like to have sex! Fuck that! I LOVE to have sex. But I've gotten to the point where I want to have romantic feelings for someone before I have sex with them. But since I don't really want to date anymore, what do I do?

Well, there are always those spare tires that I keep for emergencies. But none of them are all that reliable. I would want to have the same person available, not multiple dudes.

Then there's the internet hook-up sites. But it's just not safe to meet strangers for sex these days (as if it ever was). Plus I deleted those accounts.

So what do I do? Maybe I should just continue doing what I have been doing: NOTHING!!

I Love America's Best Dance Crew...

2009-04-29T22:06:00.000-05:00

...but this will ALWAYS be my favorite group and my favorite routine!!

Right at :55 seconds I almost had an orgasm!!

The Horse's Thing

2009-04-22T12:30:00.001-05:00

Great laugh!!!!!!!

The Horse's Thingy!A chicken and a horse were playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him to safety.

The chicken runs to the farmer but the farmer cannot be found. So she drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. She then throws the other end of the rope to her friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking.

A few days later the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "No, I think I can stand over the hole."So he stretched his legs over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up."So the chicken grabbed hold of the horse's "thingy" and pulled herself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse,
you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks!

Repost: 2/22/07 Am I Too Independent?

2009-04-19T00:02:00.001-05:00

I had to repost this because Beatmug (My Best Friend) and I had a tiff because I refused to do his taxes!!! We cool now though.

When I was 18, my Mother bought me a 1979 Oldsmobile Regency for my high school graduation present. Seven months later, during my freshman year of college, it was stolen. You can best believe that I was devastated to say the least because I had only liability insurance on the car. As no surprise to me, my mother refused to buy me another car. I wasn't upset because I knew that she thought that 1 car was enough. When I was growing up, she taught me to do everything for myself. By the time I was 10, I was able to cook my own breakfast, wash and iron my clothes, and cut the grass. She never taught my siblings or me to depend on others for anything that we needed or wanted. And those teachings have stayed with me.

I tend to think that if I need something, I should attempt to do it myself first before I ask for help. I have NEVER been one to ask for assistance before I attempt it myself first. When I was moving into my apartment in Atlanta, I moved just about everything in by myself. It wasn't until I got to my sofa and loveseat that I needed help. And I had to call 3 people before I was able to find one to come help me. And the only reason that I asked for it then was that I didn't want to damage them. If I could have put them on my back, I would have.

It's not to say that I won't ask someone for help, but I rarely do. The reasoning: I just can't depend on other people for many things. My independent upbringing has a lot to do with it, but it's moreso the fact that people always disappoint when asked for or to do something. I have always believed that if you don't expect something, you can't be dissapointed if it doesn't happen. How many times have you had someone to not show up as scheduled? To not call you "right back" like they said they would? To lie to you when they could have just told the truth?

Another reason that I don't like to ask people for things is that I don't like to inconvenience other people when I can do something myself. If I didn't have a car, I would not ask someone to take me somewhere when there are buses and trains running. If I didn't know something, I would attempt to find it out before I ask someone. If I had no money, I would not expect my friends to pay my way. I don't think that most people think about how things can inconvenience the people whom they ask things of. That bothers me.

I had a friend to ask me to "do" his resume so that he can post it on a website and find a job. My first question was "do you already have one?" His reply: "No, I wanted you to do it." I asked him to do one himself and then I would go over it with him. His reply was "I don't know how to do a resume." I told him that there was a time when I didn't, but I took it upon myself to learn what it took to do a resume. I told him that I would only help him with his resume, not do it for him. He called me a "bitch". I told him that I was a "bitch with a job". *Got his ass right together*

I have been told by several people that I am too rigid. And sometimes, I actually agree, but not most of the time. It's just that I see no reason why a person should not be able to do something for themselves.

I think that a lot of my self assessments have stemmed from the my being tired of being peoples' crutch. I always seem to be the one that people call when they need something. But it seems that there are only 2 people that I can call on when I need something. I can't do it anymore and I won't. People are gonna have to learn to rely on themselves.

The Urologist

2009-04-16T21:41:00.001-05:00

I couldn't stop laughing!!!

A man went to his appointment with the urologist. In the examining room, he told the doctor, 'Don't laugh!' 'Of course I won't laugh,' the doctor said. 'I'm a professional. In more than twenty years, I've never laughed at a patient.'

'Okay then,' the man said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'willie' the doctor had ever seen. It wasn't any bigger than, a triple A battery. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell to the floor, laughing hysterically.

Ten minutes later, he was finally able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure. 'I'm so sorry,' he said. 'I really am'. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it will never happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?'

'It's swollen,' the man replied. Back on the floor went the urologist.

I Don't Understand How...

2009-04-10T10:22:00.003-05:00

...some people think. I really can't figure them out. I know i'm not perfect, but I at least think about things before I do them. Here's what inspired this post.

Wednesday, a friend of mine (Friend A) said that he wanted to go get something to drink. I was tired and sore from working out at the gym, so I suggested we go Thursday instead to which he said "cool". I also called another friend of mine (Friend B) and invited him also since the 3 of us were kinds making this hanging out a habit. We were to meet at 8:30pm at Joe's On Juniper to have a few drinks and some wings.

So Thursday comes and about 8:00pm I was just about to walk out the door. Something told me to confirm the time. So I text Friend A to confirm the time with him. I get a text back that said "I'm at the gym in Camp Creek, i'll text you when I get to my car." Now I sat back down and started thinking that if you were to meet people at 8:30 why would you be at a gym 20 miles from your house at 8:00? I didn't understand it.

I get a text from Friend B asking what time to meet and I explain to him the situation. He says cool. He's going to take a shower and to call him back with a new time. So I just suggested then that we just meet there at 9 to give him time to get his shower and make it to the restaurant. I sent Friend A a text telling him to just meet us at the restaurant when he could.

So I got in my car at 8:30 so that I could get to Midtown and find a place to park and go ahead and get a table. I made it there and rode around looking for a parking space before I found one around the corner. Something told me not to get out of the car, so I sat there for a while on the phone talking to my new boo (not Tuscany; that's over). I look up at the clock and it's 9:15. So I called Friend B to see how far away he is. He didn't answer. At that point, my mind told me to just drive back home. So I sent him a text saying "I just wanted to know how far away you are so that I don't get a table too soon". I get one back saying "Oh, i'm just getting dressed". I sent one back saying, "I'm just going to head home. I don't feel like waiting another hour". And I started my car and start driving home pissed off.

About 5 minutes into my drive Friend A called me and said that he was about 20 minutes away. I told him that I was just heading home because I was no longer in the mood to be around anyone. Of course I told him about himself and reminded him what ADVANCED NOTICE is when you are altering plans. His excuse for being late: He got free 1-day passes to go to the gym with his co-workers and wanted to use it. Really? So you wait to go the gym at 7:30 when you are supposed to meet your friends at 8:30? Really.

While talking to him, Friend B calls and without even telling Friend A, I just swapped calls (yeah I know it was rude) and started getting Friend B together. He asked me to come back because he was on his way and told me that I texted him initially he was just getting home and needed time to unwind. I asked him why the hell couldn't he have just said that before I got in my fucking car and drove 20 damn miles for him to be at home unwinding!!!!!!!

Maybe I just overreacted, but if you tell me a time for something, that's when I will be ready to do it. If I can't do something or will be late, i'll give you as much notice as possible. I always thought that this was common courtesy. But I guess it isn't all that common.

I've always been courteous to people and I always keep my word when I say that I will do something. But it's getting to the point that I feel that I am being taken for granted. I refuse to feel that way anymore. I'm tired of being the good one who everyone can rely on, but having no one to rely on for myself. I'm sick of it.

I guess my issue is that because I always keep my word to do something or give plenty of notice that I can't, I expect other people to be just as responsible. Well I was always told that if you never expect anything, you won't be disappointed.

So I guess what i'll do is treat people how I am treated. I'll start committing to events and happenings and not show up or be extremely late. I'll stop returning emails, text messages, and phone calls. I'll stop jumping up to help people when they need something. I'll stop being a shoulder to cry on when a boyfriend has them crying. I'll just be a bitch when I don't need to.

Since no one notices the good shit about me, let's see how soon they can notice the bad.

I Know I'm Getting Older Because...

2009-04-07T23:20:00.004-05:00

...I noticed that I was driving with 2 hands today. I have never done that before. It's always been one hand on the steering wheel and 1 on the gear shift or my chin.

I noticed that I have been squinting at shit even when I have my contact lenses in. I have no idea why I have been doing that since I can see perfectly when my "store bought eyes" are in.

I noticed that I couldn't care any less about what people think about me. A few weeks ago, my motto became "FUCK THEM HOES".

I noticed that some days I want to wear khakis and a polo shirt instead of jeans and a T-shirt or shorts and sneakers.

I noticed that i'm thinking about the long term when making the smallest of decisions. I guess it's time to start saving for retirement.

I'm saying more and more things that my mother and father used to say and understanding what they meant and why they made sense.

Yes, I am getting older. Well everyone is getting older, but what I am really doing is maturing into a better, more level-headed mindset. And that's a good thing.

People Can Be So...

2009-03-25T09:24:00.003-05:00

...damn rude and inconsiderate that it makes no sense.

I went to Starbucks again today to get my turkey croissant, banana bread, and peach green tea. I walked in and got in line as any normal person would. Some guy just walked from over by the newspaper stand and got in line in front of me. I figured that he was in line before me and just stepped to get a paper so I didn't say anything.

So i'm looking in the case and deciding what I wanted and he's ordering his thimble of coffee and looking at his paper. By this time, there are about 4 people behind me waiting to order. After he orders, what do you think he did? Go ahead and guess. I'll give you a second.

This bastard proceeds to put his newspaper down right on the register counter and start reading it. Mind you that there are 5 people waiting to get to said counter to order their food. Since he had already (somewhat) gotten under my skin, I took action. I picked up my juice out of the cold, wet cooler and sat it right on top of his newspaper. The lady at the register smiled and let out a little giggle, but I was dead serious. He looked at me as though he wanted to say something and I gave him a Tasha Mack look that said "SAY SOMETHING"!

He got his paper, got out of the line and moved over under the "wait here" sign like his rude ass should have.

I would have liked to just know what he thought gave him the privilege to read his damn paper right there in way of other people who were waiting in line. I know he saw us because he looked at us when he jumped line. I should have checked his ass about that.

What the hell is wrong with people that they think that no one else matters but them. I don't get it. I really don't. As means as I can be, I am 99% considerate of how my actions affect other people. Whether it be while driving, in the grocery store, at a restaurant, or wherever, I try to be considerate of others.

Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all thought about how our actions affected others and acted accordingly?

It Takes Just One...

2009-03-24T10:45:00.005-05:00

...person to redeem the indiscretions of others. Here's why I say that.

A few weeks ago, I headed to my physician's office for my annual checkup. As I walked into the building, a white woman who was maybe in her 50s saw me heading toward the elevator and tried to hit the "close door" button (she still had her finger on it when I got in). When I finally got into the elevator, she huddle herself in the corner like a frightened woodlands creature. I just looked at her, rolled my eyes and shook my head.

When the elevator stopped, I let her get off first as any Southern gentleman should do. When she stepped out of the elevator, she glanced over her shoulder as if to which way I was headed. I just stood behind her to give her time to get the hell out of my way. She turned left and so did I since that was where my doctor's office is. The entire length of the hallway, she kept glancing over her shoulder behind her and I just kept my distance. I also noticed that there were security cameras around. If this woman claimed that I had done something to her, I would have proof that I didn't. Then finally, out of no where she stopped, backed up against the wall and stayed there until I passed. I just walked on by shaking my head.

When I rounded the corner, she was still standing there against the wall. I stopped just to take a look back around that same corner and she had continued her walk toward my present direction. I continued on to my destination wondering why she was scared of me and wondering how I could have been so intimidating to her. Was she scared of men? I think not, since she was talking to the white man that got off before I got on. Was she scared of Black men? Probably so. But even though I was a little upset, I brushed it off as just another dumb ass white woman.

And this is how I know that God works magic when it needs to be worked.

After my visit, I headed back down the aforementioned hallway back to the elevator and saw that the door was closing. Suddenly the elevator door reopened and there was another white woman in probably in her 70s who was holding the "door open" button. On the short way down to the 1st floor, she asked me how my day was and I replied and and asked her the same. This short little interaction put a smile on my face and let me know that all white women aren't scared of us.

Each time something like this happens, it saddens me a little bit more that this still goes on. It happened again today except this time it was some gay white man grabbing his man purse when I walked toward his direction in Starbucks. It makes me wonder if I look that menacing and intimidating.

Do I need to soften my look and be sure to smile. But then I thought, why in the hell would I change myself to make others feel comfortable? I'm not the one with the problem, they are. And it's up to them to change themselves and their thinking.

I Haven't Been Posting...

2009-03-18T21:29:00.005-05:00

... because there hasn't been anything going on in my life. My birthday was non-eventful. I haven't seen the dude i've been dating in 3 weeks because I have been traveling. I haven't had a great deal of fun even though I've been to Puerto Rico 3 times in the last 3 months (and coming back next week).

I just have been really bored and boring lately. I feel like i'm in a social rut and I attribute that mostly to my job. We haven't traveled this much since November of 07. But that's will all be ending in May when our schedule clears up a bit. I need my time off!!!!

1. I broke my little abstinence vow. When people tell you that alcohol will tear down your will power, they aren't lying. Tuscany and I got drunk at a restaurant and I couldn't drive home, so I stayed at his place. Next thing I know, I was tearing that ass up and making him scream (was that too much?).

2. I went kayaking and actually enjoyed it. While waiting to get on the kayak I was literally shaking and damn near in tears. But once I got in the water and started paddling, I was cool. That is until my kayak partner got tired and stopped paddling. I had to do the steering and the paddling to get us back to our starting point. I almost hit his ass up side the head with that oar and throw his ass in the water. But that would have been mean.

3. I haven't worked my part-time job since December. I was really enjoying that damn money and also having something to do on my days off. Damn recession is fucking everyone up. The management cut hours so now only the full-timers get to work. So now when they call me with questions, I don't answer.

4. I saw the stimulus increase on my paycheck!!!!!!!!! It was a whole $8 tax cut. Really??? So AIG, GM, and Chrysler can get billions and I get $8 bucks a week that I will have to pay back when I file my 2009 taxes!!?? Really????????????????????????????????? They would have done better to just give each US adult a few thousand. Where would it have gone? Straight to the fucking banks to be spent paying bills!!!!

5. I tried my best to get rid of Dreads, but that man just won't let go. He is insisting that we have an in-person talk to get out how we really feel about each other. I've agreed to this talk and even talked it over with Tuscany. He's having issues with his ex as well, so he really couldn't protest.

6. I'm finally going on a cruise (sailsation.com) in October and can't wait. It's on Carnival, but the group i'm going with will be Black and Gay. Last year they had about 70 people to go. I'm hoping that they can get more so we can take over the ship.

7. I'm tired of traveling. While i'm in Puerto Rico for the 3rd time, it's no fun when you have to work 10-12 hours a day. The last thing I want to do when I get off it anything that involves exerting energy. People think that it's glamorous to be flying all over, but it's not. After 6.5 years, i'm tired of it. But in this economy, i'm scared to look for another job.

8. I planned a vacation to celebrate my best friend's 30th birthday the first week of June. We planned to go to either Santo Domingo or San Juan. But guess what? My sister-in-law decided to plan a family trip to Orlando the same damn week. I missed the one last year and promised to go this year. But they moved the dates from July to June. Decisions! Decisions! Decisions!!

9. I put my tax refund to good use this year. I paid off some credit cards, got my brakes replaced ($650 fucking dollars), paid car insurance up until May, and paid for my cruise. I wasted a little, but I still have some left!! I love tax refunds!!!

10. That's all the hell I have to say. I'm going to try to post more often. I swear I am.

This Picture...

2009-03-06T01:01:00.003-05:00

...made my eyes bug out!!!! It looks like he was giving that final thrust after his orgasm!!!! And the ballholders expression is priceless!!!

I Think I'm Ready...

2009-03-03T16:45:00.000-05:00

...to let someone into my romantic space. I'm not 100% sure that i'm ready to do this, but this dude has been pretty persistent in his quest to get my attention and he's finally gotten it. I'll call him Tuscany. I met Tuscany through a mutual friend of ours and thought that it was refreshing to NOT have to meet a guy online. We've been known each other since October and went on one date back then.

When I met Tuscany, it was by passive means. He told a mutual friend of mine that he thought that I was cute and the friend introduced us. At first, I was turned off because I don't like passive dudes. If you want to talk to me, then do it yourself. But since I was 100% single, I decided to just see what would happen. It turns out that I like the dude.

Initially I kind of ruled him out as a dating prospect because he isn't the usual type of dude that I would date. And what I mean by that is that he's kinda soft. And by soft, I don't mean feminine, I just mean soft. He's the kind of dude that would call AAA to change a tire instead of doing it himself because he doesn't know how. He's the type that would call his father or brother over to move a dresser or sofa. He's the type that would run from a bug instead of killing it. I've never liked men that can't do things for themselves and i've always dated guys who could do "manly" things like the ones mentioned above.

I've had my reservations about dating him because I have this issue with being more aggressive or assertive than the man that I date. I'm not saying that i'm more OF a man than him or anything like that. But I have always wanted a dude who was as or more assertive than me. I like a dude that's straight forward and says what's on his mind. And it seems like that's what most dudes want. But gay, Black men like that are in short supply. And even when I do find one, they don't want me for some reason or another. One guy told me that I was too "butch" for him and he wanted a small-framed, feminine dude. Well that isn't me in the least bit.

But as it goes, i'm liking this dude, so i'm giving it a chance. We've agreed to forget all the labels and titles and just "like" each other. And so far it seems to be working.

Is It Strange...

2009-03-03T12:46:00.000-05:00

...that tomorrow (March 4th) is my birthday and I don't feel like celebrating? I think I partied enough in Puerto Rico last week. And i'm going again next Tuesday. That's should be celebration enough.

I Know This Is Old...

2009-02-20T18:50:00.002-05:00

...but it's a classic!!!!!!!!

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one. '
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch.

The WTF Blanket (Not Work Safe)

2009-02-08T03:27:00.001-05:00

This shit is hilarious!!

Dating Has Gotten...

2009-02-05T20:53:00.004-05:00

...to a sad state; a really sad state.

I have known this dude for a few months and we actually tried to date, but it didn't work out. Well, he's being persistent in wanting to date (even though he still hasn't proposed a real one). Last week I chilled at his house and we watched "DL Chronicles" and drank some Coronas. Since we had a pretty good time, we decided to do it again tonight.

So I got showered, ironed my clothes and brushed my hair (that takes 7 minutes now). I was just getting ready to order a pizza online to pick up on the way when I got a text. It said "Look, an emergency just came up, they rushin my grand mother to grady (hospital), ill fill u in later Dnt know Whats wrong".

I sent one back that said "Aight, take care".

Now the sad part is that I honestly didn't know whether to believe him or not. Because this isn't the first time i've had a guy use an excuse to get out of a date (or some semblance of) before. In addition i've used excuses (lies really) before to get out of last minute dates.

It's a sad that things have come to this, but I made a decision. I'm not lying anymore to get out of anything. I'm just going to tell the damn truth. I know i'd be a little hurt to hear the truth, but i'd rather hear it than be told a lie.

So be it. That's my plan.

***I never found out if he was telling the truth or not. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt (if you think about that saying, it makes no sense) and let it go. I'm not going to hold this one against him.

Aight, So I...

2009-02-03T20:07:00.003-05:00

...didn't get rid of one of my online profiles. I actually decided to keep the one on BGC. I actually like this one only because of the forums and message boards. And to be honest, I have only met one person off of this one and don't plan on meeting anymore.

So I don't want to go into a long post, I just had to be honest.

My Dream...

2009-02-02T11:11:00.017-05:00

...Home(s)

Contemporary

Traditional

...Man (Men)

Cute

Thick

Stylish

Sexy

...Job

Attorney

Judge

...Automobile(s)

SUV

Convertible

(Family) Sedan

...Bank Account

A man can dream can't he????

After 5 Years of...

2009-01-29T20:31:00.007-05:00

...having online "dating" accounts, I decided that it was time to get rid of them. "Why did you do that?", some may ask. I did it because it's a part of my plan to get rid of things that aren't doing me any real good.

When I sat back and thought about it, I realized that I spent countless hours on A4A and M4N when I could have been using that time to do something more constructive. I could have spent those hours volunteering. I could have spent those hours in the gym. I could have spent those hours with my family and friends. I could have spent those hours getting better at my job. I could have been doing something that was beneficial to my life.

But in all honesty, I thought that I was doing just that. I thought that I would meet the man that I would build and maintain a relationship with. Alas, I didn't. What I did get was a plenty of one-night stands that could and should have been no-night stands. I also got a bunch of heartache from a few of the guys that I attempted to date. Now I can't say that everything was bad. I did meet a few guys that actually knew what a date was, but nothing ever came after that. And I met 1 person who I can now consider a dear friend.

I guess it seemed like meeting a guy online was easier to do. I didn't have to leave the house. I didn't have to spend any money. I didn't have to do anything but login, select a dude, and say hello. It made dating so easy. Or so I thought. The problem was that I would start chatting with 1 dude and get get intrigued, only to start chatting with another dude and get the same feeling. It made it seem like there was always something better one click away. Then on other times, I would see a dude out and about that I was attracted to. I wouldn't say anything to him there, but if I saw him online, I would strike up a conversation. Being shy and scared is so unbecoming that I always felt ashamed when I did that.

But on Monday, I decided that it was not working for me. I would spend hours chatting with dudes never to meet them. I chose not to meet most of them because I could see that they weren't what I wanted. And after you realize that most guys are internet liars you start to get tired of it. They are one thing online, but something totally different in person. I've met quite a few dudes who aged 5 years, or gained 50 pounds, or their dicks shrunk from the time between us chatting to us meeting. Or worse yet, the guys who have no picture but want to meet you. Why guys have to lie or deceive I never will understand. But I don't have to worry about that anymore.

The online profiles are gone and so are the problems and issues that go along with them. So long!!

This Has To Be...

2009-01-28T07:34:00.003-05:00

...The saddest story I have ever read.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nation/6232703.html

Is This Not The...

2009-01-27T17:33:00.003-05:00

...Sweetest Picture? I miss those days.

So It Wasn't As...

2009-01-25T00:37:00.004-05:00

...hard as I thought it was to let go of the exes and the old dates. To keep it basic, I told CC "no, you can't visit me when you drive through Atlanta" and then I told him why. I didn't say anything to Hollywood because I didn't have to. I told Infiniti that if nothing has happened in 3 years but sex, then nothing is going to happen and we're done. I deleted Delta's number. I deleted Coca-Cola's number. And any dude i've met recently, I just deleted his number. But one of them just doesn't want to let go. If you guessed that it was Dreads, then you guessed correctly.

He sent me a text message last week saying that he thinks that it's on purpose that I haven't called him in over a month. When I told him that the my phone is a 2 way device that makes and receives calls, he got perturbed. This reminded me of one of the reasons why we broke up 7 years ago. We had a conversation where he told me that I couldn't make a decision on my own to end contact with him without his input!! EXCUSE ME!!!! He got an earful of how what decisions I make are mine to make and that as a grown ass man, I have that right and that privilege. We let the conversation simmer down to where we could talk without defense and just listen.

We both agreed that it's time for things to come to a close or for us to become a couple again. We also agreed that a conversaton on that subject would be better in person. So I agreed to drive the 3 hours to the city where I went to college and he still lives. As I was preparing my mind for the drive, he informed me that he was having dinner with his other ex and his exes friends (oh really). So I said that I would wait until a better time.

Even though I agreed to wait to have this talk, I had already made my decision. I'm not waiting any longer. It's time to let go and move on completely. I'm done with thinking that one day, he and I will pick up where we left off (although with a lot more maturity). I'm done comparing every new dude with him. I'm done feeling as though I owe him my loyalty. I'm done with being the person he runs to when things go wrong in his life. I'm done with being his decision maker. I'm done with him.

I can imagine that when I start to think of the good times we had, i'm going to miss him. But it's what I need to do to prepare myself for my life partner. For some reason, I feel that time is near and I have to be completely available.

I told myself that 2009 was MY year of change for the better. I'm going to make sure that happens.

Last Night I...

2009-01-11T13:38:00.003-05:00

...went out to The Bachelors Mill here in DC. I wasn't expecting to see anyone that I knew there because I know hardly anyone in DC. But of course I did. I saw a few people from Atlanta that i've seen out and about, but then I saw someone (I'll call him, 4Runner)that I used to date. Well, I guess we didn't really date. We had sex a few times and talked on the phone a lot but nothing really came of it because he lived in northern Florida and I in Birmingham at the time. But seeing him last night was nice. The dude has gotten sexier in these last 5 years.

But that's not why i'm writing this post. I'm writing because I had the strangest dream when I finally did get showered and in the bed to sleep. I had a dream that involved 4 guys that I used to date: Hollywood, Delta, CC, and Dreads. In the dream, I was trying to get get each of them out of my life, but as soon as I did, another one would come along and mess up my plan. I wonder if seeing 4Runner triggered me to have this dream.

I find it uncanny that I would have this dream because i've been struggling with whether or not it's a good idea to keep in contact with dudes that I stop dating. It seems that I have an issue cutting someone completely off after we are no longer romantically linked. And it seems that they have the same issue. Dreads and I broke up almost 7 years ago. Hollywood and I broke up in September 2007. Delta and I never never really went out on a date. We just spent a lot of time at each others' apartments and haven't done that in 2 years. CC and I stopped dating in July of 08. I still talk to these dudes and a few more that I used to date.

I guess once a dude get's into my heart, he's there to stay. I can't imagine never talking to Dreads or Hollywood again. I think that would break my heart. Delta and CC, I could most likely do it with no problem. But I wonder if that's what I need to do to clear the way for my life partner to come into my life.

I'll have to think about this one and seek some advice (that's a hint to those reading this).

I Fu(king Hate Snakes!!!

2009-01-04T22:01:00.001-05:00

Sneaky Bastards!!

Sometimes I Sit and Wonder...

2008-12-29T23:00:00.003-05:00

...about what my dreams and goals are. I think about those fantasical dreams that most people have such as winning the lottery, or living in some exotic local, or falling in love with someone who's in love with you.

But honestly, I don't know what I truly dream about having in my life. I don't know what I want. I can't figure it out. I know i'd like to have a loving, supportive partner. I know i'd like to have a career as an attorney. I know i'd like to have a lil wealth. But are those dreams? I don't think that they are. I believe that dreams are those things that you think you can't achieve, but you strive to make them come true.

So I think that's what my 2009 will be about. It's time to figure out how to make my dreams become reality.

I've Had My Share...

2008-12-24T15:36:00.005-05:00

...of sex over the years. And now I want to just ramble on about it. It's just been on my mind lately that I have had a lot of sex over the years and now I feel kinda slutty about it. Luckily i'm still untainted and healthy.

I think that I had the most sexual partners during the years of 2005 and 2006. I was a true sexual being. During those 2 years, I think that I had about 20 different sexual partners. To some that may seem like a lot and to others that may seem like not too many. During those 2 years, I was completely single and free to do what I wanted. I just felt like I could do what I whatever, whenever, and whoever I wanted. Although I always used condoms, I was scared each time I took an HIV test or and STD screening. Well, I have slowed down in my old age. I still have sex every now and then, but not as frequently or with as many people.

Now this year, I have added to the number of sexual partners, but not in the number that I did in previous years. I guess it's because I actually want to date someone. I want to wait to have sex until I actually know someone before I have sex. I don't want my first memory of being with someone to be of us moving furniture and putting holes in the wall. I would so much rather have a first memory of a real date. But brothas don't seem to know what a date is anymore.

I still have had a few hookups recently, but I have a rule in place. If I meet a dude and all he wants is sex, then that's all he gets. After we hookup, I don't want to see him again. There will be no dating after a sexual hookup. NONE! Then there are the brothas that like to tell you what they think you want to hear so that they can get in your pants. They tell you that they want to to date or even get serious one day. But their intention is to have sex as soon as they can. I can smell these brothas a mile away. Sometimes, like Monday night, I go ahead and have sex with them. Most times, I just tell them that they aren't getting any and get as far away from them as possible. But I've made a decision that i'm going to have to stick with.

I've decided to abstain from sex. I've said this to myself several times and haven't stuck to it. But there have been 2 times in my life where I did abstain for 6 months or more. It wasn't fun, but I was assured that I wasn't going to catch an STD or HIV. This time i'm older, wiser, and a lot more patient. I can do it this time.

The reason that I'm abstaining is that I:

1. Don't want to catch an STD or HIV. No explanation needed.

2. I want to actually feel something for the next person I have sex with other than lust.

3. Casual sex has just gotten boring. I used to hookup because I liked sex and having sex made me feel wanted. But that shit has gotten old.

4. Did I say that I wanted to remain HIV and STD free.

So, i'm going to just hold out on sex until i'm seriously dating someone. There will be no more first night sex. No more sleepovers soon after or the day we meet. No more sex or any kind, oral, anal or foreplay after January 1, 2009. NONE!!!

I'm going to break out the ring that Jaila gave me last year and wear it on my hand instead of on my necklace. When I get tempted i'll show it to the tempter and let him know of my plan. The quickest way to run a brotha off is to let him know that your abstaining from sex until a you have a committment.

Let's see what happens!!!!

Update 12/21/08

2008-12-21T16:26:00.003-05:00

Hey people!!! I know I haven't been blogging as much lately, but I promise to do so more often. I have been doing so much and working a lot, so I don't have a lot of time. But then again, sitting in from of the TV watching Sunday Football is a good time to blog. So here are some updates on what's going on with me.

1. I gotta mention the new ride. I am loving it so far. I have features in the Infiniti that I didn't have in the Maxima. I now have heated leather seats, a 6 disc in dash CD changer, Xenon lights, and just the aura of having luxury brand.

2. I am not dating anyone. I was for about a month, but I just wasn't feeling him as much as I could. I felt like because he was a nice dude, I could force myself to like him and in hopes that we could be couple. I quickly realized that wasn't gonna happen.

3. I am trying to date though. But dudes don't know what a date is. I've met 2 dudes in the last 2 weeks that thought that a date meant that the night would end with sex. If we don't discuss sex beforehand, it's not going to happen. It just isn't gonna happen the first time we go out. I'll do it when I feel comfortable doing so.

4. My job is consuming a lot of my time since my unofficial promotion. In addition to my regular duties, I am also taking support calls. But the work is satisfying. I spent 3 hours Friday on the phone with one of our team members solving a problem that was solved my moving a decimal point. It felt good to fix an issue that people with more seniority couldn't figure out!!!!

5. I have been in the best mood that I have been in in years. I guess it does take something traumatic for you to realize that you can't just exist, you have to make life happen. I keep a positive attitude now as much as I can. I smile whenever possible. And I try to be as courteous as possible to other people. It's made a world of difference.

6. I went Christmas shopping this year. I bought gifts for my brother and sister-in-law, my nephew, and my best friend. This is big for me because I haven't bought Christmas gifts in years. Since I have a lil cash to spend, I may go out and buy a few more gifts. I know that this isn't what the season is all about, but it's just something that I wanted to do.

7. I'm going to be in New York City for New Years. It's for work, but just the fact that I get to be there is exciting. I am most definitely going to be in Times Square to see the ball drop!!!! And hopefully i'll get to hang out with some friends and bloggers while there.

8. I can't get it out of my head that I want a boyfriend. I want someone that I can talk to on a daily basis and see when I get home. I just want to feel something for someone. I just haven't met any quality dudes that I want to actually have something with.

9. I got together with my friends last night to play cards and have a good time. I had to sit back for a minute and think about how lucky I was to have friends that I love and who love me. Not everyone can say that.

10. I've started going back to the gym. I'm not going to say that this time will be any different time than the other hundred times i've started going. But this time, I know that I have to go because I need to lower my blood pressure. The medication isn't doing anything and i'm tired of switching medications every year. I'm going to try exercise for 3 months and if that doesn't work, i'm going to get a new doctor that treat hypertension instead of just medicating it.

The One Thing That's... (Updated)

2008-12-10T13:13:00.001-05:00

...Kept me sane since my car accident is my belief that everything that happens is part of God's plan. I let things happen as they happen and I deal with the consequences as they come.

I'll elaborate more later.

Ok. Now it's time to elaborate. But for the first time in my blog i'm not going to tell what happened to send me into a week of depression.

As I stated earlier, I believe that everything that happens to us (as a part of fate) is a part of God's plan. What I mean by that is that (as the old folks used to say) God planned my life for me before I was born. I no longer question why things happen to me when they do happen.

Here's what happened. I was heading home and got on West Peachtree so that I could get onto the Buford Highway ramp so that I could get on Lenox Road to drop a friend off at his house. As I was rounding the first sharp curve, I noticed 2 cars racing up behind me. I decreased my speed as a precaution, but when the first car went past me, he cut in front of me and a damn near hit my car. My first instinct was to hit the brakes, which my mind knew was not the right thing to do on a curve, but my foot had a mind of its own. The next thing I know, I had hit the guardrail, spun around and hit it 2 more times before coming to a complete stop. We immediately jumped out of the car and checked to see the 3 of us were ok. No one was injured. Someone called the police, who was there immediately. Luckily, there was a guy who saw what happened who stopped also and gave his account of the incident to the police.

While I was waiting on the police officer to arrive, I looked at my car and just let out a loud wail. I couldn't believe that I survived without a scratch on my body. All 6 of my airbags deployed and because we all were safely in our seatbelts, the airbags didn't touch us. Needless to say, my car was a total loss.

What spun me into depression was just the thought that each time I start to get a little ahead, something major happens and I feel like I have been pulled back. After the accident, I found out that I actually didn't have GAP insurance on my car. I bought GAP insurance when I initially purchased the car, but then I refinanced it immediately after I bought it. It was my belief that I had included the insurance when I refinanced the car, but I hadn't. The insurance company decided to pay for the cash value of my car which was about $6000 less than what I owed. I was floored and depressed in the fact that I had to pay for a car that I no longer would have to drive.

Luckily I was off the following week and didn't have to go anywhere. All I did was lie around the house and sulk for 5 days. I just felt like giving up on life. But then something hit me. "How exactly does one give up on life?" I had no clue!

And then I remembered that God lets things happen for a reason. I had to remind myself of that. Once I did, I started to feel better. I also realized that I was fortunate enough to have another vehicle to drive. I was fortunate enough to have the money to cover my deductible in case they decided to try to fix my car. I was fortunate enough to STILL BE ALIVE!!!!

Things started to look up last week when I got a check in the mail from my old company. If you all remember or not, they went bankrupt back in April and terminated us with no notice. Then when I found out that my GAP insurance wasn't in effect, the customer service representative told me that I was due a refund since that contract was replaced.

I used those to checks as a down payment on my new car. A 2005 Infiniti G35x!!!! I love it. I got it for about $4000 less than retail. That came in handy because I was able to add that $6000 in negative equity to my new loan. So I don't have to pay for (in a way) the old car and for a new car.

I believe that things like this happen to remind you that God is still there for you. And I'll leave it at that.

My Car is No More...

2008-11-24T22:57:00.009-05:00

...And I don't want to talk about it. Just know that no one was injured or killed during the accident. But if I find the muthafucka that cut me off, i'll need bail money!!!!

Repost: 8/20/07 Dick

2008-11-20T16:10:00.013-05:00

Dick. Say it to yourself and think about it.

Look at the picture and then say it again.

Sommore said it best when she said "dick is a beautiful thang".

Think about some of the dicks that you have seen.

Think about some of the dicks that you have touched.

Think about some of the dicks that you have tasted.

Think about the dicks that you never saw, but fantasized about having.

Picture a dick, any dick right now. What does it look like?

Why does it make your body feel so good when it's in you?

Why do you alter plans because you want to have it?

What about it makes you stay with someone who isn't right for you?

What about it makes you act differently when you are with the man that it belongs to?

What is it about dick that makes you want to put it inside your body?

What is it about it that makes your body tingle when you are about to get some of one?

Why are even men who claim to not want a dick in them turned on at the thought of one.

What the hell is it about dick that mesmerizes us?

I'm No Longer...

2008-11-18T05:38:00.006-05:00

...confused about that call I got from my boss. Let me start off by saying that I love my job. I really do. What else job can you have where you travel all over the world (I'm in Costa Rica now) and then get home and get days or even weeks off?

But a few weeks ago, I posted this post about a phone call from my boss that confused the hell out of me. I recently found out that there has been restructuring at the company that has led to a hiring freeze, so I can't get the promotion that I so desperately want and need. But the problem is that the positions I and 3 other people want, HAVE to be filled. So guess what, we have been asked to fill the positions without the pay or the title. And I feel like I am being cheated because I CAN'T say no.

Here's the info. In the past, we had 4 senior implementations specialist positions. These are the people that we call when we have issues while we are on site. Well, 2 of those positions were vacated because the people switched positions to something else. Well that left 2 positions open. But our boss is saying that we need to have 6 total people in this position. We need 6 positions because of the amount of international travel that we have been doing. Pretty much, when one of the seniors is out of the country, support falls to the other. Now it has gotten to the point that the 2 we have left are out of the country at the same time. So, 2 other people have been asked to fill those 2 positions that have been vacated, but without extra pay and title. But guess what? With upcoming international sites, those 2 will be out of the country also. So I, along with another person was asked to do the same thing. I hope you got all of that.

I don't mind having the extra responsibility because I have been dying to have something new to do. But I just feel like the corporation forced our boss to do this to us. They pretty much tied her hands and told her to get her job done. She can't hire anyone or give promotions, but shit still has to get done. So the 4 of us have (to be truthful) volunteered to do jobs that we aren't being paid to do. I believe that we all understand that we have to do what it takes to keep things afloat, but we are all hoping that we get our just rewards as soon as possible.

Now, don't take this to mean that I am not grateful to have a job. Hell i'm more blessed to HAVE 2 jobs when I only NEED one. It's just that it feels strange to work so hard to be rewarded with a better position and then have to get that position without the rewards.

Let's hope this doesn't last too long. Why can't I hit the lottery for about $250,000. That's all I need.

This Should Be Shown To Every Parent on Earth

2008-11-10T19:39:00.002-05:00

I've been reading Xem's Blog and watching his videos for about 3 months now and each entry has touched this one. But this video here is one that all parents should have to watch. The things that he says and the emotion are just to real and close to home.

Real Housewives (?) of Atlanta

2008-11-10T19:21:00.004-05:00

I don't even know what to say. What do ya'll have to say about this picture????

Bits and Pieces

2008-11-05T21:37:00.003-05:00

Earlier today I was reading YABG's blog entitled One Big Circle. In it he said "once you give someone a piece of your heart, you never get it back" and it really brought some emotions flooding back into my head. It got me to thinking about some of the men that I have dated and especially about the one's who still have a piece of my heart. Those men are in chronological order, Dreads, Chicago, VP, and Hollywood.

As I was driving home from work today, I started to wonder why each one of these men still captures my heart (and/or mind). It didn't take long for me to figure it out. There was something about each of them that I got from them that I still desire.

Dreads: What was it that Dreads gave me that I still desire in a partner? I figured out that this man was there for ME unconditionally. He did everything for me that I wanted and needed. I never had to worry about anything. When I got transferred to Birmingham, he moved with me. When we first started dating and I didn't have money, he gave me money. Even though he was 100% top when we met, he gave up some booty every once in a blue moon. His focus was all about keeping me happy and satisfied. I still want a man that puts me first. Even though it's been almost 7 years since we dissolved our relationship, he still holds and most likely will always own a piece of my heart.

Chicago-What was it that Chicago gave me that I still desire in a partner? I figured out that he was a truly kind, understanding, thoughful, and genuine person who cared about me. I could see it in his eyes each time I looked at him and he SHOWED it everytime we saw each other. We dated long distance for a year and I loved it. I'll never forget our first date when he took me to Giordano's Pizza, a movie, and around the city of Chicago. Each time I visited him (except that 1 time), he had planned something for us to do each time. I never doubted that he cared about me and I really felt like he was making sure that I knew that he cared about me. And I always felt comfortable with him. I still want a man that makes me feel comfortable and cared about. Even though we stopped dating 5 years ago, he still holds a piece of my heart.

VP-What was it that VP gave me that I still desire in a partner? Physically, he was everything that I wanted in a man. He was tall, attractive, sexy, thick-bodied, and did I say sexy? I loved looking at him, touching him, sexing him, holding him and just being around him. I had an affinity for VP that I couldn't and still can't explain. And I still do. In addition, he made me feel like I was the sexiest man on earth. The way that he looked at me. The way that he held me. The way that he sexed me. The compliments that he gave me. How he jumped in the shower with me and showered took the soap and towel and finished bathing me. The things that he did, just made me feel sexy and desired. I want a man to make me feel like that again. I'm not sure if it's my heart or my head that he still has a piece of, but he still has a piece of me in some form.

Hollywood-What was it that Hollywood gave me that I still desire in a partner? Hollywood had that confident, independent, "i'm a man and i'm your man" type of vibe going on. I loved his confidence. I loved his aggression and assertive attitude. He was the type of guy that could make a decision for both of us and I could agree with it. He could plan something and all I had to do was show up. He didn't ask me to do things that he could do himself. I didn't have to prod him to do anything. I didn't have pay for every date or drive to every date. He let me put my mind to rest while I was with him. And I still want a man with an independent spirit (like I have). Even though it's been over a year that we broke up, Hollywood still has a piece of my heart.

Even though each relationship or situation ended years ago, I'm still learning from them. In addition, if either one of these men asked me to get back to them, I can't say that I would say "no" to them. Each one still has that something about them that I want. The only issue is that i'm hoping to meet someone that has most of the qualities that I want.

So some of you may ask, " when do you move on" and I'll answer with this. You move on when the quality that the person has/had loses importance to you or you meet someone else who has it. I have yet to move on, but i'll be glad when I can.

YES WE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-05T02:15:00.002-05:00

It Makes No Sense...

2008-10-31T17:29:00.001-05:00

...for a man to have an a$$ like this!!!! I would send his a$$ to the kitchen for something every 5 minutes for something just so that I could watch him walk away.

So While On A Date Last Night...

2008-10-28T21:40:00.005-05:00

...to see Noah's Arc for the second time, my phone rang. It was my boss calling and I couldn't take the call because 1) I was on a date and that's a big no no, and 2) I was in a theater. Needless to say, she got voicemail. And she left a message!!!!

Now I don't have a traditional 9-5 job where I go into the office each day, sit at a desk on a computer and the telephone, and see my boss each day. I travel quite a lot and I have not seen my boss in almost 2 years. Hell, I have co-workers that I have never met.

But back to the story. When my boss calls any of us on the team, we NEVER know what to expect. And most times, it's a call to fuss about something that we did or didn't do on a site. Well I waited until my date was over and I was safely in the warmth and solitude of my car to check the voicemail message. In it, she said "Hey Norris, this is BOSSLADY. Hey, I was just calling to talk to you about some departmental issues. Give me a call back when you get a chance tonight or tomorrow morning." Since it was late, I sent her an email telling her that I was in the movies that I would call her Tuesday afternoon when I got to my site.

I racked my brain trying to remember if anything had gone awry on a site or if I may have missed something. I couldn't think of anything at all because I am always sure to cross my T's, dot my I's and cover my ass!!! Needless to say, even with an early morning flight the next morning, I was up late.

So when I got to Texas today and got settled in, I called her. I wasn't nervous and by then, I had stopped wondering what she wanted to discuss. I was told that there may be a position opening up to work with the hotel corporation. What that means is that I would work directly for hotel corporation instead of the contract company. This also means a $10000-15000 raise in pay. But it also means a lot more responsibility for me also. Both of which I am willing to take. But on the other hand, she told me that the company had been put into a hiring freeze. She also told me that she was not promising me the position IF it becomes open, but just letting me know that I was next in line for it.

After the call, I was even more confused than I was before it. I had actually been thinking of finding another job that pays more and doesn't involve travel. Since each time, I applied for a promotion someone more qualified and with more seniority beat me out, I was ready to leave. But now i'm wondering if that call was just a ploy to persuade me to stay. I think that it is. If it was, it wasn't needed because I had already decided to stay. I am not going to change jobs with the US and world economy in the shape that it is.

But i'm still confused and a little baffled. I dont know what to think.

My Day On Yesterday

2008-10-24T09:25:00.003-05:00

I noticed that a lot of bloggers like to relate the goings on of their lives each day. So guess what? I've never done that because I think that my life is boring as hell and that there is nothing to tell. But i'm going to try anyway and see what happens.

10/23/08

Because I went to my favorite restaurant, Joe's on Juniper Wednesday night, I didn't wake up until 10am Thursday. Joe's has the best drinks and the best food in all of gay Atlanta and I could go there at least 3 or 4 times a week if money allowed. But anyway, back to Thursday. When I woke up, it was my best friend calling me to remind me to take his car over to the collision center for an estimate for repairs.

I got my tired ass up and tried to decide what to wear for the day. Normally I would throw on some jeans and a shirt of some type, but today I decided to do something different. I put on some gray pinstripe slacks and a dress shirt. Don't ask me why I did that, but I did.

After taking the car for the estimate I headed down to the Lindbergh area to meet Beatmug for lunch for his break and to switch cars. We usually meet for lunch at least once a month just to get our white woman on. This month, it was Chili's on Piedmont. We did the usual lunch with no drinks only because he had to get back to work.

Since he had to get a haircut before lunch, I decided to head over to AidAtlanta, to get my annual HIV test. I actually had gone Tuesday, but when I tell you it was packed in there I ain't lying! There were at least 15 people waiting which I guess is a good thing. But I really didn't feel like waiting, so I told the receptionist that I would be back to get a test. But back to Thursday. I took the OraSure test and waited the 20 minutes it takes for the results. When I take an HIV test, i'm never nervous like I was 10 years ago when I took my first one. My results came back negative and I was on my way.

After lunch and my test, I headed back home and got my butt back in the comfort of my bed. I didn't get the chance to rest like I planned to this week because I got called into my part-time job Tuesday and Wednesday (gotta pay for that Nordstrom purchase I made on Wednesday). So getting back in the bed was wonderful. I needed a rest since I was headed back to Joe's again.

After the nap, I got in the car and headed downtown to pick up surprise surprise, YABG. He's in town this week for work and finally i'm at home this week from work. I said that I wasn't gonne post this, but I will. When we got back to my car and got in, my car smelled like old cheese and baby diapers. I noticed the look on Royce's face and realized that he smelled it also. Someone please tell me why I had left the trash in my trunk of my car? I had intended to take it out when I left the apartment, but I completely forgot! I was determined to get that shit out of my car, so I found a hotel with an open dumpster and tossed it. Then it was on to drinks and food.

If you haven't had a chance to hang out with YABG, you're missing a good time. The dude had me laughing all night and we talked about everything under the sun between his vodka gimlets and my martinis. I ordered fried shrimp and he ordered a chicken Philly. I had already told him that the food was great (since all of the cooks have skin like ours). I let him have one of my shrimp and then I had to guard my plate. I think that the server was trying to get us drunk because he was back each time out glasses got halfway empty. I think that I had 4 martinis and YABG had 4 vodka gimlets.

I think that we left Joe's about 11 and were headed back to the hotel when YABG called a blog commenter that he had talked to earlier, Jump Off Joe. We convinced JOJ to get out of the house and meet us out so that we all could meet each other. We couldn't think of any place to go and didn't want to go to Bulldogs, so we settled on Starbucks and told him to meet us there. But guess what? We were there all of 20 minutes when they were kicking us out so because they were closing. The nerve of them!!!!!!! I took my caramel machiatto and sauntered out of the store!

Guess where we ended back up again!!!??? Need I even tell you? We got back to our martinis and gimlets while we waited for JOJ to arrive. He finally got there and we talked and laughed and talked and laughed. I took over the juke box and played some Beyonce, Mary J. and Keysha Cole. Can you believe that someone came behind me and played "My Life' by Ms. Blige? And mid-song we realized that the place was closing and we had to get the hell out of there.

The 3 of us chatted for a hot minute in the parking lot but it was too damn windy and chilly to keep doing that. So we said bye bye to JOJ and I dropped YABG off at his hotel. I headed home and got this ass in the bed. And here I am typing away.

Black Man In An Elevator (NSFW)

2008-10-22T15:51:00.001-05:00

I keep finding things to laugh at!!!!!

This is as funny as all get out, but it's not work safe AT ALL!!!!

http://www.maniacworld.com/Black-Man-in-an-Elevator.html

I Know I Shouldn't..

2008-10-20T20:07:00.000-05:00

... be laughing, but I can't help it!!!!!!

When You Turn 30...

2008-10-16T17:01:00.001-05:00

...your life will change. Your whole perspective on life will change and you will start to live differently.

How many of us have heard something like this before? I can say that I have heard it countless times in my life by a range of people. I heard it from family, friends, colleagues, and strangers. Each time I heard it, I would think "well, i'll see when I turn 30".

Well guess what? They were right. Since I have turned 30, the way that I look at life has changed for the better and I have come to realize some things:

1. I don't have to do anything for someone that I don't want to do. If I don't feel like helping out a friend, then I don't have to. If I don't feel like going to work, then I don't have to. If I don't want to talk to the person that I am dating today, I don't have to. I don't HAVE to do ANYTHING I don't want to.

2. Life does not have to be stressful. It really doesn't. I are stressed because I allow myself to be stressed. So what if I don't have the money to pay the power bill. Is stressing out about it going to get it paid? Hell no it isn't. I'll pay it when I can, but I won't worry about it. So what if the dude you met the other night hasn't called you since you gave him some ass. Is worrying about it going to make him call? Hell no it isn't. Let that shit go and move on. Sometimes you just have to say "Fuck It" and let shit flow on down the "Small Shit River"

3. I should have money for needs and wants. Having money to do the things you need/want to do makes life easier. One thing that I've realized since 30 is that I HAVE to take care of my needs before my wants. If I need to get an oil change, i'll do that before I head to the liquor store. If I get low on funds, at least I got what I needed first. It's not necessary to have an abundance of money, but one should never run out. For the first time in my life, i'm not in a situation where there is more month at the end of the money.

4. I don't have to have a man in my life. It totally unnecessary for my well being. I swear that I used to spend part of my day thinking about why I was single. Wondering why I wasn't in a relationship or dating someone seriously. Then I realized how much time I was wasting thinking about having/not having a man. When it's time for a man, he'll be there. But if i'm single, then that's where i'm supposed to be.

5. I am where I am supposed to be. I used to think that by the time I am XYZ age, I should be doing this or doing that. People have said shit to me like "you should have bought a house by so and so age" or "you should be saving for retirement by the time you are this or that age" "you should go back to school before you turn ABC". Well I've come to realize that life is not scripted and it will come to you as it comes to you. There is no timer on when things happen in your life.

All in all, these 5 things are helping to make me a happier person and now I'm waiting for 40. I'm gonna take my lessons learned and try to make my life easier. I also want to take these next few years to get my life the way that I want it. I've waiting long enough and wasted enough time.

Before I turned 30, I was also told that 30 is when you start to get serious about life. Now that right there, I know they weren't BSing about!

I Need To Get...

2008-10-16T16:43:00.005-05:00

...back to this size. When I took this picture back in 2006, I was all of 169lbs. I had a 32 inch waist and a flat stomach. Now i'm 206 lbs, with a 36 inch waist and an intermediate (it ain't a beginner) belly!!! THIS HAS TO STOP!!!

I'm going to have to start heading back to the gym 3-4 times a week again and stop eating a 3 piece from Popeyes 2-3 times a week. The madness has to stop.

My 31st birthday is in March and my present to myself is to be back where I was in this picture by then. My original birthday present to myself was actually to have liposuction, but HELL NAW!!!! I can do this!!! Yes I Can!!!!!

Ever Had A Crack In Your Windshield??

2008-10-13T22:07:00.002-05:00

I would have had to pull over and take out my inhaler!!!!

Life Just Ain't Fair

2008-10-09T22:14:00.003-05:00

I just don't understand it. Do you ever wonder why some peoples' lives just seem to be so perfect? Do you wonder what they are doing to that you are not? Or is it that they are just blessed by God? Why can't I be one of those people?

I swear that sometimes, I just want to scream because NOTHING seems to go the way that I want it to. It doesn't seem to matter how hard I try or what I do. No matter how much I plan. No matter how much I pray. No matter anything. I swear that NOTHING seems to go how I want it to go. NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what to do and sometimes feel like giving up and saying fuck it. But how do you give up on life? What the hell does that mean?

Sometimes, I want to just sail off to a deserted island and just be by myself where noone can bother me. Where I don't have to worry about bills, or a career, or relationships or anything.

Don't worry, i'm sure that this will pass soon enough. I just need a few days to get myself together.

Maturity

2008-10-08T22:30:00.002-05:00

So Beatmug and I were talking about dating and he said that he was going to stop being so demanding of the dudes that he dates. I told him that what he's doing is maturing. He asked me what my definition of maturity is and I told him:

"When you realize that there is something about you that you can change to make you a better person and you take steps to bring those changes into fruition, that's maturity"

All he could say was "WOW". I shocked myself with that because it came out of nowhere.

I Made A Decision

2008-10-01T11:05:00.006-05:00

So I made up my mind about who will get my vote for President of the United States of America. Can you guess who that person is? It's boldly displayed on the back of my truck for all the world to see.

For the last 2 weeks, I have been paying attention to the things that I have read and things that I have seen. During comparisons, I realized that I share few ideals with the Republican candidate and and also very few with the Democratic candidate. But the issue comes in with whom I trust. And I honestly feel that I can trust Barack Obama a hell of a lot more than I can trust McCain to do what's better (notice that I didn't say BEST) for this country.

So Barack Obama, you get my vote.

Glamour At It's Best

2008-09-28T17:49:00.002-05:00

I don't even know what to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Love New York!

2008-09-22T20:09:00.006-05:00

I'm once again back in my (almost) favorite city in the world. And i'll be damned if it wasn't hell getting here. And i'm sure that this hotel will be hell getting opened. Let me tell you how my trip went!!!

I was at home and decided to check in online for my 12:40pm flight to LaGuardia International. My mind told me to change to a later flight, but the charge was $150 and I knew that my boss wasn't going to pay for that. The alternative was to wait until 3 hours before the flight and then there would be no charge since i'm a Gold Medallion member. But I decided to go ahead on to the airport and take my original flight.

The drive to the airport was uneventful as there was no traffic as 10:30am in the morning. I made it to the airport and made it from my car to my gate in about 15 minutes (all the ATL airport haters can kiss my ass). Just as I was about to sit down, my phone rang with a call from my coordinator. She said "don't get on the plane, the hotel isn't going to open on Thursday. They didn't pass their health inspection (they had the wrong sized sink) and can't open the kitchen in order to serve breakfast." Hampton Inns have a wonderful complimentary breakfast and the hotels can't open until it's ready. OK, no hay problema. I was kinda pissed, but then glad that I would get a few more days off.

I went up to the counter to speak with the very attractive guy there about retrieving my bag before it was loaded onto the plane. He said that they hadn't put any bags on the plane and he would call down to baggage handling to ask them to send it back to baggage claim. He also told me that I would also have to get down to baggage claim as soon as possible just in case the bag does get put on the plane. So I dash off down the concourse like a damn fool with a 15lb laptop bag. Ya'll know I was dripping with sweat by the time I ran from gate B2 to baggage claim!!!!

Can you believe that as soon as I got down there my phone rang again?!?!?!?!?!? It was my coordinator telling me to just wait a few minutes while she talks to the hotel. They were going to try to cater breakfast in until they could get the issues with the kitchen taken care of. So I proceed to baggage claim service to see if my bag was there yet. When I got there, the agent took my claim number and ran "downstairs" to see if she could find my bag. While standing there trying to cool off, my phone rang again!!!!!!!!! Once again it was my coordinator. This time she told me that the hotel would in fact be catering in breakfast so I could go ahead and travel to Manhattan. WELL DAMN!!!!!!

So, the agent returned from "downstairs" and told me that my luggage was on its way to LaGuardia! I said OK and told her that it was cool because my trip had been rescheduled any way. I thanked her and turned around with the intent to run to security. When I turned around and looked at the clock, it was 12:20pm. That meant that I only had 5 minutes to get to my gate before the boarding door was closed. I started to get irritated, frustrated and mad as hell. But then I stopped.

It suddenly hit me that this was a situation that was easily solved. All I had to do was book the next flight at 1:40pm and head on to NYC. I calmed myself down and thought about what would be the best thing to do. I went to the kiosk and changed my flight to 3:40pm. The next thing that I realized was that I was soaking wet from all that running. I called a friend who lived close by the airport and ask him if I could come by and take a shower and he answered in the affirmative. On the way over, I stopped and bought me a few pair of undies and undershirts so that I could change into those and just in case my bag got lost.

He and I chilled for a minute talking and listening to music while I waited to head back to the airport. When I got back to Hartsfield-Jackson-Atlanta International Airport (the world's busiest). Things were looking up. I had already been upgraded to first class and I was able to go through the express security line. I got to my concourse, got something to eat and sat down at my gate to look over some of the hotel's notes.

My flight was normal as usual with me ordering a rum and coke (I needed it). I slept my requisite 30 minutes and when I awoke I was surprised to find that they were serving dinner on the plane. So a ham and cheese on marble rye with salad and chocolate cake was enjoyed.

When I arrived at LaGuardia's baggage claim, my bag was waiting right next to the baggage claim office. I hopped in a cab (I almost took a limo!) and made it to the hotel without any more issues.

What I had to remeber and re-learn today was that any issue can be handled if you stay calm and think the situation over. I also learned that you should always follow your intuition. Maybe if I had rescheduled my flight, none of this may have happened.

I'm stealing from Cocoa on this one.

Have you recently had a situation where you were all up in arms and had to calm yourself down and think about how to handle it? If you did, did you learn anything from it?

2008-09-22T18:31:00.002-05:00

Now this is just fucking ridiculous!!!! She needs an ass-whooping, not to be faced with federal charges!!!

http://www.lemondrop.com/2008/09/22/boise-brings-soda-spiller-to-justice/?icid=200100397x1209759672x1200610110

Last month while accompanying her father, a disabled vet, to the VA Medical Center in Boise, Natalie Walters bought a soda from the cafeteria. After finishing her drink, she refilled her mug and went to pay.

The cafeteria has no set cost for refills, but usually charged her $1 or $1.50. This time, however, the clerk charged her $3.80. Walters was none too thrilled about the refill markup. After asking to see a manager and trying to return the soda, she refused to pay and proceeded to pour it over the counter.

We've all thrown tantrums like that, and no harm done, right? The U.S. Attorney's office thinks otherwise. Walters has been slapped with federal charges of larceny and disturbance, each of which could net her six months in the clink.

We generally don't advise crying over split soda, but in this case, it might be the only viable solution.

Unlike Solange...

2008-09-21T21:51:00.006-05:00

...I haven't decided.

Can you believe that we have about a month and a half until the presidential election and I have not made a decision on who will get my vote or even if I will vote?

I can honestly say that I do not know who I am voting for. And since I am not a member of any political party, I feel no obligation to choose a candidate for either party. In the past, I just voted for the Democrat because that's what Mom and Dad used to do. But now, I see that both parties have good and bad about them. I agree with ideals of both Democrats and Republicans.

The problem here is that neither candidate has said or done anything to impress me or persuade me into voting for him. And after listening to them both, I think that they are both full of bullish when it comes to the plans they have and the promises that they make. Neither one of them can say for sure of what they will do when in office.

Of course I have been bombarded with reasons why I should consider one candidate over the other, but none of those reasons has been valid enough to persuade me. "McCain has more experience." "Obama can rally the people." "Obama can make history." McCain will work with the other party. None of the reasons have done anything for me. And all of the negative media advertisements don't make things any better.

So at this point, I don't know if I am will mark a box in the PRESIDENTIAL ballot at all. But I will cast ballots in the local, city, and state elections. We have state senators up for election and those are the people who really decide the direction our country takes.

When I Grow Old...

2008-09-20T15:10:00.002-05:00

...I wonder if I will be in this situation.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/159509?GT1=43002

is a youthful, active 78-year-old. He sings in his church choir, takes a weekly computer class, and regularly attends social gatherings organized by a gay senior citizens group in Brooklyn, N.Y., where he lives. But McCoy worries about a day when he can no longer care for himself: he has no close family, no partner, and he's outlived most of his friends. "I'm used to having friends I can call up and say, 'Let's go to [a movie],'" he says. "But now there's nobody to call."
Newly engaged, , 62, and Ilde Gonzalez-Rivera, 56, look forward to growing old together at their home in Queens, N.Y., where they share a garden and a green Cadillac. But the couple isn't sure if or when they'll be able to marry. Their house is in Rivera's name, but because the couple can't legally wed in New York, Fetterman won't automatically inherit it, should his partner die. And even though they are registered domestic partners in New York City, neither man will have access to the other's Social Security, because the federal government doesn't recognize their relationship. "It's not something we like to think about, but there's a certain amount of anxiety that comes with not having those things," says Fetterman.

These are typical faces of the gay and aging—a growing population often overlooked by mainstream advocates. Gerontologists haven't traditionally viewed sexual orientation as relevant to their work—and, according to a study by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, most national health surveys of elderly citizens fail to assess sexual orientation. But gay seniors confront unique challenges: they're twice as likely as straights to live alone, and 10 times less likely to have a caretaker should they fall ill. Older gay men are at high risk for HIV, and many suffer the psychological effects of losing friends to the AIDS crisis. (See our report on HIV and aging.) Many face discrimination in medical and social services, and on top of it all, they're less likely to have health insurance: one survey, by the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law, at UCLA, estimates that gay seniors are half as likely to have coverage as their straight counterparts.

"In many ways, this population is a mirror opposite of what the mainstream aging community looks like," says Karen Taylor, director of advocacy and training for the New York-based Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Elders, or SAGE, the nation's oldest senior network. "The average senior in the United States lives with one other person; two-thirds of LGBT seniors live alone. If you don't have those informal support networks built into your life, then everything else becomes a bigger issue. Who forces you to go to the doctor? What happens if you fall?"

As this community grows, in both population and visibility, those questions are becoming harder to ignore. Over the next 25 years, persons in America who are 65 and older are expected to grow from about 12 to 20 percent of the total population, and various estimates indicate that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered individuals will comprise 7 to 10 percent of that senior population. Meanwhile, like the Baby Boomers of all stripes, aging gays and lesbians are radically redefining what it means to be a senior—and how they fit into the larger community. They're coming out of the closet, vocalizing their experiences and needs, and, most importantly, demanding public recognition. "If you go back 40 years, there were virtually no openly gay seniors," says Gary Gates, a senior research fellow and demographer at the Williams Institute. "But now you have a large enough group that people are paying attention."

This year, SAGE is celebrating its 30th anniversary, and running an ad campaign in New York to raise awareness about their constituents. And when the organization holds its national conference on aging next month, it will be sponsored for the first time by the AARP. Just that acknowledgement, say advocates, is huge: with 40 million members, the AARP is considered one of America's most powerful lobbying groups—and an influential voice on health care and social policy. "When we look to the future, we know we cannot progress if we don't bring in these other communities," says the Washington-based organization's chief diversity officer, E. Percil Stanford. "The [gay and lesbian] community is quite often invisible and overlooked."

Executive Decision

2008-09-10T12:03:00.003-05:00

So I have been thinking the last month about what I want to do with my career and have come to a decision.

Since I was in high school, I wanted to be an attorney; a prosecutor to be exact. When my senior year of college came, I was ready to apply and was all excited to be going. But then something started to happen in my life that distracted me from my dream. For some reason, I fell into a deep depression. I was so depressed that I couldn't sleep or I slept too much. I started having panic attacks anytime and anywhere. Depression was affecting everything in my life from my relationship and family to work and school. After about 2 months of feeling like life was over, I started going to see a counselor (who was actually a psychiatry intern). It took me about 3 months of visits each Tuesday to get back to normal. Needlesss to say, while I was thinking life was over, the last thing on my mind was continuing my education. I didn't complete the law school application process and subsequently didn't get in.

Each year, I said that I was going to apply and go back, but then I started working full-time in a hotel operations career. As my pay increased, so did my debt. Of course since I was out of school, I had to pay back student loans, I had car note, rent and credit card bills. So I decided that I was going to lower my debt to zero before I went back to school. That was years ago and i'm still not in law school, but i'm still in debt.

But on Monday, I made the decision that debt-be-damned, i'm applying to law school for admission in the fall of 2009. Applying to law school is a process that i've been afraid of because it's not an easy one. But i'm starting the process on Friday when I get home from this trip.

I'm not worried about getting into law school. What i'm worried about is paying for it. Tuition is no where near inexpensive, so it looks like more loans for me. I will be applying for grants, scholarships and other moneys, but loans will probably be my largest means of paying tuition.

So wish me luck on my process!!

Oh yeah. I did say 2 decisions didn't I? Well that other decision was to just stick with this job I have until I know whether or not I am accepted to law school. I don't know if I will make it though until next August though.

Just Wait

2008-09-02T11:27:00.002-05:00

In a few days I will be making 2 decisions that will affect my long term goals.

Stay Tuned!!!!!!!!!!!

Cabin Pictures

2008-08-29T14:54:00.016-05:00

I just want to say that the Blue Ridge Mountains are spectacular at all times of the day. Friday night we stayed up until 5:30am the next morning playing spades, talking shit, and drinking. It was a restful 3.5 days and I can't wait to do it again. Thanks God that it didn't rain until Monday when we were leaving.

It was nice to be with a group of 11 other Black and gay men and there not be any drama or issues. Well there was just a little, but we decided to just pretend that it didn't happen. One person decided to be petty because he didn't get a bedroom and had to sleep on a pullout sofa (That's what happens when you are the last to arrive). He waited until some of us took a nap Saturday afternoon and blasted music to wake us up. Then he took more than his allotted share of crab legs. But like I said, we decided to pretend that it didn't happen.

Here are a few pictures.

Off For Vacation

2008-08-22T07:39:00.003-05:00

Hey kids,

I'm off for another cabin trip and this one is much needed!!! I need this vacation like I need my next breath!!

Read about the last trip here.

If This Ain't Some Shit...

2008-08-21T08:42:00.002-05:00

What they fuck was this principal thinking?